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carnivorousplant
09-01-2001, 02:24 PM
So, who would you not let drive?
Troi from TNG, Chakotay from VOY and who else?

Spatial Rift 47
09-01-2001, 03:09 PM
Chakotay was a decent pilot. He landed the ship once and took the helm a few times.

carnivorousplant
09-01-2001, 03:10 PM
He pranged every shuttle he got into.
:)

JohnT
09-01-2001, 03:13 PM
My "least favorite" anything Trek has to be Wesley Crusher. I don't know if he flew, but if he did he was my least favorite.

Spatial Rift 47
09-01-2001, 08:16 PM
Originally posted by JohnT
My "least favorite" anything Trek has to be Wesley Crusher. I don't know if he flew, but if he did he was my least favorite.

Join the club. We're calling ourselves "Anyone who's ever seen Welsey Crusher" now.

carnivorousplant
09-01-2001, 08:41 PM
Originally posted by Admiral Borg
We're ... "Anyone who's ever seen Welsey Crusher" now.

Who is "we"?

Ross
09-01-2001, 08:44 PM
Well, when I'm the Captain, things will be different.

Picard. Creaky old fogey hasn't been near the conn since they had a steering wheel and a stick-shift. I appreciate he has some sentimental value for the crew, but let's be sensible. Next time we have a battle coming up I'm going to give him some money and send him to the pictures.

Data. If he starts making decisions based on what he thinks hearing the number 3 might mean if it's somehow been beamed to him from an alternate self in countless repeated timeloops to save Frasier's ass... well, you see where I'm coming from. Three is three and steering is steering. Data can make the tea. And I'll have that emotion chip back, if you don't mind.

Kirk. Just... no way. Forget it. The man is bad enough as a backseat driver. Every time Kirk has the slightest influence on the ship's trajectory, we all end up having an Adventure that takes about three movies to get home from.

:addresses bridge:

Hands up who signed up for an Adventure?

:no hands rise:

Hands up who'd like to get back to earth in time for The Weakest Link?

:all hands rise:

Motion defeated. Admiral Kirk to the holodecks to play TJ Hooker for the remainder of the mission.

Worf. Psychopath. No.

Tasha Yar. Dead. If you see this woman at the Conn you've gone through another dimension thingy and Whoopi Goldberg will be the only one to notice.

Whoopi Goldberg. I mean, what? What is this woman doing here? Are you a barmaid or not? I don't care how wise you are, I'm trying to run a BUSINESS here. GET BELOW DECKS.

Riker. Captain Hornblower complex. Thinks he's on a mission to save the universe. Dangerously unstable. Plus his ego would endanger mine.

Troi. When sensing bad moods is written down in the Highway Code as valid reason for BOTHERING ME IN MY CHAIR, we'll talk.

Wesley. Could you go and help Data with the tea, please? Whose idea was it to take sixth-formers on work-experience? We better be getting paid. Mr Data, look into it as a source of revenue. For me.

Kes. What are you, eight? This is Wesley, he has some crayons... tch...

Seven of Nine. Put some clothes on, woman. This is not a night club.

:thinks:

Mr Data, look into opening the bridge as a nightclub.


And so on. In fact the only people worth putting at the Conn, realistically, are Q, Spock, Dr Who and Han Solo.

Bluepony
09-01-2001, 08:48 PM
I wouldn't let Scotty drive. He'd just whine about his "precious engines" if you gave him an order to floor the bitch.

carnivorousplant
09-01-2001, 08:57 PM
Kirk: Scotty, I need full power in five minutes or we're all dead!

Scotty: She'll no take it, Captain! Me poor, wee bairns!

Kirk: Listen, you dipsomaniacal son of a bitch, floor it or I'm sending Spock down there to give you the Vulcan death grip!

Scotty: It's on the way, Captain!

Czarcasm
09-01-2001, 10:52 PM
Moving this space-puppy to Cafe Society.

dropzone
09-01-2001, 11:00 PM
So, this is now the Dumping Ground for Topics Too Stupid for IMHO But Which Can't be Dumped in MPSIMS Because They Involve a List?

Chronos
09-02-2001, 01:21 AM
And so on. In fact the only people worth putting at the Conn, realistically, are Q, Spock, Dr Who and Han Solo.Well, maybe Tom Paris. Wait, nevermind, he is Han Solo.

dropzone, if you think this is stupid, feel free to not post. It's here because it's literary, and yes, television is a form of literature.

Spatial Rift 47
09-02-2001, 10:13 AM
Originally posted by carnivorousplant
Originally posted by Admiral Borg
We're ... "Anyone who's ever seen Welsey Crusher" now.

Who is "we"?

"We" is the members of the club.

carnivorousplant
09-02-2001, 10:30 AM
Club?
What, the Wesley bites club?
Is this a circular definition or a Yahoo thing?

:)

carnivorousplant
09-02-2001, 10:39 AM
Originally posted by Chronos

dropzone, if you think this is stupid, feel free to not post. [/B]

Mutiny, Sir! Black hearted mutiny! The Mods will not stand for it, Sir!
:)

Laughing Lagomorph
09-02-2001, 10:52 AM
Sulu, anybody? He isn't too bad, when he isn't imagining himself as a Musketeer.

carnivorousplant
09-02-2001, 11:56 AM
Of course Sulu or Paris.
The question is, who would you NOT let drive?

CP

drewbert
09-02-2001, 12:12 PM
Least favorite Trek pilot? Oh, I'd say "Encounter at Farpoint."
Oh.... you mean that kind of pilot... hee..0

Originally posted by carnivorousplant
Of course Sulu or Paris.
The question is, who would you NOT let drive?

CP

Well, at least Sulu could be counted on not to turn around and make flip comments about the Hard-Headed AlienTM that just popped off the viewscreen.

carnivorousplant
09-02-2001, 01:38 PM
Drewbert: You get a safety.
I think.
See my infamous football thread.

Ross
09-02-2001, 07:29 PM
Originally posted by Chronos ... maybe Tom Paris. Wait, nevermind, he is Han Solo.[/B]Dude, you're right! Far out... and is it just me or is Riker... well, Kirk? And Data is Spock? And that Irish guy is Scotty. And... hey, am I spoiling this for anyone? Not my fault they forgot to switch the template files when they fired up Microsoft Sci-fi Publisher Express...

Laughing Lagomorph
09-03-2001, 08:50 PM
Originally posted by carnivorousplant
Of course Sulu or Paris.
The question is, who would you NOT let drive?

CP

In that case, I nominate Riley(?), the "I'll take you home again Kathleen" guy from TOS. I suspect he's pretty much like that all the time.

Chronos
09-05-2001, 05:57 PM
There's certain templates that have been used in all of the series, although they overlapped some in the real ST series due to the smaller cast. There's always a skirt-chaser (Kirk, Riker, Brashir, Paris), a struggling-to-be-human (Spock, Data, Odo, Doctor), etc., in addition to the rank/position roles (Leader, Second-in-command, engineer, scientist, etc.).

carnivorousplant
09-05-2001, 07:28 PM
Originally posted by Chronos
in the real ST series

What's a "real" Star Trek series?