dalovindj is *sooooo* hip!

[Esprix]

In this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1635372#post1635372), dalovindj explains it all for us, He being The Master of Hip, evidently:

It's only hip to get drunk if you are hip when you're drunk. Obviously, some here have a problem with maintaining their hip-ness while intoxicated, so by all means drink those no-buzz carryin' wastes of money. No sweat off my back . .

All of those college kids getting stupid drunk and screaming and puking are NOT hip. They are most definately unhip. I do not encourage that behaviour. You see hip is essentially saying the exact right thing and performing the exact right action in every situation. Including drinking. I got no ill will for you if you drink these things, but you definately come across as square, dig?

Maybe square is where you're at, and that's cool. Like, um, the wrong cat the wrong frame of mind. Don't go gettin' razzled and start turnin' on your hate machines for me. I'm just spreadin' the gospel of hip. Dig? I hear squaresville ain't so bad once you get used to it. They serve Midori, Zima and a plethra of lite beers from what I understand. People get together and sing their Karaoke and drink watered down alchohol and still get to bed in time for the yarn fair Sunday morning.

Quick, imbue us with more of your Hip Wisdom, O Hip One, lest we all become Tragically Un-Hip and find ourselves beneath Your contempt!

And one question - is flaming someone for arrogance Hip or Not Hip? I think I missed that lecture...

Esprix, who is evidently Un-Hip for drinking Midori and not getting fall-down drunk on "real" alcohol! :eek:

[thinksnow]

<WHOOSH!>

[dalovindj]

Thank you thinksnow. That pretty much says it all.

[Esprix]

Oh, whatever - nice backpedal. :rolleyes:

Esprix

[Demise]

Sorry Esprix, but it also looked to me like he was being facetious.

[Diane]

You beat me to the *WHOOSH* think snow.

I have to admit, I really like this dalovindj cat.

[Miller]

<Spotlight, stool, microphone. An unseen musician strums a double bass.>

I dig this cat to the maximum, man. He's like, solid, baby, like titanium. His groove is something entirely other. He's so beat I've got bruises. Yeah.

<Fade out to sound of snapping fingers>

[dalovindj]

Man, you cats took this unhip thread and turned it into a funky little joint. Someone grab that party record . . . and I'll have another Guiness.

DaLovin'Dj

[Esprix]

So was this quote from earlier in that thread also in "jest"?:

Obviously gullywumper, we got some lightweights hangin' out in the pit. These punks not only drink pansy(no offense to flowers)-ass drinks, but THEY don't drink to get drunk, and then they insult YOU. Welcome to the Straight Dope Pit!

For women it is forgiven. But no self-respecting man should drink those things. And while we're at it no one at all should drink coor's lite - it's lake water. Don't even get me started on Zima. . .

Oh, and getting drunk doesn't mean puking or passing out. With practice it can be done quite well without either that or any other similar embarassment. Alchohol should be had for intoxication. Frequently. To drink and not get drunk, you may as well have just juice or your stupid. Liver damage and all. Me, I'm a get drunk every time. I don't care about the liver damage. As Red Fox says It'd be a shame to end up in the hospital at the end of my life dying from nothing. I'll die from something thank you very much. Make mine an Absolut and Cranberry!

If I was whooshed, then you need to work on your sarcasm skills.

Esprix

[dalovindj]

Esprix:

Damn you're being idiotic. Yes it is in jest. I couldn't care less what anyone does or does not drink. I'm just rolling with it for fun. The first rule of Improv is never deny. It would appear plenty of others are able to pick up on my humor. Don't get down on me cause you lack the skills to figure it out. Chill out and have one of your fruity little drinks. Isn't your screen name a cheesy 80's tennis shoe?

DaLovin'Dj

[Esprix]

Fine, I was whooshed; I recind the OP, and would request a mod to close the thread.

Gonna go have a "fruity little drink" now. Or should I take a pot-shot at your screen name first? :rolleyes: My sarcasmometer may have been off today, but you're still a jerk in my book.

Esprix

[Captain Amazing]

Before the thread is closed, is it thinks now or think snow? I've always read the name as thinks now, but Diane seems to parse it think snow.

[dalovindj]

At least you admitted your mistake. Even if you did it while whining that I'M a jerk.

Jeesh. They start a whole thread to bash you, and then get all bitchy when you fight back. Just another day in the pit. . .

[Esprix]

At least you admitted your mistake. Even if you did it while whining that I'M a jerk.

The two are not mutually exclusive - I can be wrong, and you can still be a jerk.

Hope I cleared that up for you.

Esprix

[dalovindj]

And what makes me a jerk? You saying so? You not getting my jokes? Me having some fun around here?

Such a silly little man. . . .

[Cat Whisperer]

Sorry, DJ, but bragging about how you like to drink is just about the most telling sign of immaturity I can think of. Maybe I'm confused; maybe immaturity IS hip now. Who knows? As Dave Barry says, I'm too old to care how hip I am anymore.

[Esprix]

Originally posted by dalovindj

And what makes me a jerk?

My impression from your posting history. Y(and others')MMV.

It's nice to know my opinion counts so much with you. I feel the love. Truly.

Esprix

[Kamandi]

:: Kamandi bustles over in classic schoolmarm attire (yet with grey wig askew and 5:00 shadow and adam's apple clearly evident :eek: ) ::

Now, now, now! Do I have to separate you two? Play nice until recess is over.

[Esprix]

Yes, Mom!

;)

Esprix

[dalovindj]

featherlou:

I wasn't bragging about drinking. I was discussing the art of drinking. You see many common human activities can be turned into an art. The art of speaking, the art of dressing, the art of walking, and such. You see, anything worth doing is worth doing with style. get it? maybe not. No sweat. But don't get down on ME for having style. Not caring wether your hip or not IS definately hip by the way.

[b]Esprix:[/b}

Hope your next thread works out better. Keep on whining . . .

DaLovin'Dj

[Esprix]

Sure. And hope that coding works out better for you next time. ;)

Originally posted by dalovindj

Not caring wether [sic] your [sic] hip or not IS definately hip by the way.

Well, there it is, then - this thread should be closed 'cause the title is wrong, as you've just admitted you ain't hip.

I am so glad we got this cleared up.

Esprix

[mouthbreather]

Both of you stop it.

Anyone with any sense of class and hipness knows that you ain't shit if you don't drink PBR tall boys.

[dalovindj]

No, you thick skulled simpleton!!! Not caring if you're (happy? I spelled it right, you whining freak) hip is hip, but caring doesn't make you unhip. See, some cats are so hip that they don't even care and they are STILL hip. Other cats aint so gifted and so have to be very mindfull of what is hip so as to avoid the pitfalls of unhip. No one wants to blow their limited supply of cool. Except maybe you . . .

You do not see it, do not care, and are still unhip. It's a real trip and a drag, I know. But there are books to help. Geets Romo wrote an excellent book on the subject, look him up on google. Just remember not to get down on good-willed cats like myself who just dig on trippin on puttin' people on.

DaLovin'Dj

[dalovindj]

mouthbreather

How about Mickey's hand grenades? With the Mosquito on top?

DaLovin'Dj

[Esprix]

Gee, for somebody who was "just kiddin'," you seem awfully empassioned about whether or not someone is or isn't hip. Perhaps the OP stands after all, as you do, indeed, seem to be the Master of All Things Hip. We stand in awe of You.

Esprix

[dalovindj]

Sucker. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

God this is fun. But I do have to go to the Crow's concert. I'm not really a guitar man but these guys kill it. They played a version of Kinky Reggae at "One for Woody".

DaLovin'Dj

P.S. I've always hated indecisiveness. Maybe I haven't.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally posted by dalovindj
featherlou:

I wasn't bragging about drinking. I was discussing the art of drinking. You see many common human activities can be turned into an art. The art of speaking, the art of dressing, the art of walking, and such. You see, anything worth doing is worth doing with style. get it? maybe not. No sweat. But don't get down on ME for having style. Not caring wether your hip or not IS definately hip by the way.

<snip>
(Posted by dalovindj earlier):
Alchohol should be had for intoxication. Frequently. To drink and not get drunk, you may as well have just juice or your stupid. Liver damage and all. Me, I'm a get drunk every time. I don't care about the liver damage. As Red Fox says It'd be a shame to end up in the hospital at the end of my life dying from nothing. I'll die from something thank
you very much. Make mine an Absolut and Cranberry!


This is the art of drinking?!? Doesn't sound very artistic to me.

[Esprix]

Uh, sure, whatever that means. Enjoy the concert (I'm assuming the Crows are Hip).

Esprix

[Scylla]

dalovindj said:

And while we're at it no one at all should drink coor's lite -
it's lake water.


AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Listen up, Ladies Man.

Enjoy the night. This is your final day.

Do not go disrespecting the Silver Bullet, or I swear, I'll come up there, kick your ass so far up amongst your shoulder blades you'll need to have the legs lengthened on your silver polyester jump suit, then I'll install the arm of your record player so far up your ass you'll have to squat to scratch your next record!!!

Obviously you've never gone bass fishing, played five sets of tennis, or painted a barn roof, because then you'd know that Coors Lite is the one true beverage for those who engage in serious physical activity.

You may be hip, but I got steel-toed shitkicker cowboy boots.

I've come to like you and your posting, but this is crossing a line.

Repent now, or face the consequences!

[Kamandi]

:: Kamandi bustles in, still wearing his disheveled, flowered old schoolmarm dress, but the wig seems to have disappeared ::

:: Takes out wooden ruler and raps the knuckles of dalovindj... ::

Whack!

"OUCH! Watch it, man! You'll make me blow my cool!"


:: ...Esprix ::

Whack!

"OWW! Hey, quit it, you wannabe transvestite!"


:: and Scylla ::

WHACK!

"Goddamnit! Get outta here before I shove this Silver Bullet up you Old Lady ass!"




Now go outside and play, you three!

:D

[Kamandi]

:o

Of course, Scylla would never say:

up you Old Lady ass

He is quite able to use the proper form of the possessive, even if I'm not.

[Diane]

Before the thread is closed, is it thinks now or think snow? I've always read the name as thinks now, but Diane seems to parse it think snow.

I may be bias, living in Utah and all.





Hey, you kids knock it off before someone gets poked in the eye!

[Miller]

Where's the love, man? Where's the love?

[Soul Brother Number Two]

scylla, i used to think you were cool.

[Scylla]

Originally posted by essvee
scylla, i used to think you were cool.

Awwww, I was just being facetious.


But actually, I'm really not cool.

[Soul Brother Number Two]

i wuz talking about your affinity for coors light, not your post, modest one.

[Scylla]

Originally posted by essvee
i wuz talking about your affinity for coors light, not your post, modest one.

Swine!

[aseymayo]

Wait a minute...let me get this straight...somebody thinks vodka and cranberry is hip? No, no, I'm sorry, cranberry and vodka is merely trendy - unless you're prone to bladder infections or are over 50. The truly hip don't waste their time fiddling around with adding things to their alcohol, unless it's more alcohol.

[andros]

I've long been under the impression that many of the truly hip have no need to poison themselves. But then, perhaps Frank Zappa and Penn Jillette aren't hip.

People who try to make an art form out of cirhossis, however, seem to me to be so unhip it's a wonder their bums don't fall off.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by aseymayo
The truly hip don't waste their time fiddling around with adding things to their alcohol, unless it's more alcohol. Which is why I stick with Everclear. If you're breath isn't flammable by the end of the night, then you haven't really been drinking, nor are you hip.
Yes, only the exceptionally hip need liver transplants by the age of 30, cuz we all know excessive drinking is what's hip, right?

[Miller]

andros, you're missing the point. Drinking doesn't make you hip, but if you do drink, you have to know the right way to do it, as outlined by dalovindj.

Actually, while I agree with the general sentiment, I've got some doctrinal conflicts with the dj. Cranberry juice, for example. Anyone who's anyone knows that cranberries serve only one purpose: to make even the most dry and overcooked Thanksgiving turkey seem edible by comparison. Cranberries are squarer than square, daddy-o.

In contrast hipest, most laid-back cats and swingingest dolls drink only screwdrivers and extra dry martinis.

Remember, kids: Drugs don't make you cool. Drugs are just something that cool people do.

[thinksnow]

It's think snow.

My <whoosh> statement was a one time thing and djs following statements may or may not be considered in good taste. Case by case basis and all that. No back-peddle, simply a reasonable statement of fact.

[erislover]

Originally posted by Miller
Remember, kids: Drugs don't make you cool. Drugs are just something that cool people do.
Indeed. :D

[waterj2]

Well, I've been laughing at and appreciating dalovindj's posts here, as well as ones I've seen elsewhere. I don't see it as sarcasm, merely as being silly by exaggerating pointless little things to the point of absurdity.

Incidentally, I had a 40 of Schlitz today, where does that put me on the hipness scale? Not that I care of course ;)

[matt_mcl]

Excuse me, but I don't drink anything at all.

Sobriety is very hip.

[Peta Tzunami]

Originally posted by matt_mcl
Excuse me, but I don't drink anything at all.

Sobriety is very hip.

Let's hear it for the excluded middle!

The word you're looking for is "temperance." I had two glasses of a terrific Australian Chardonnay with dinner last night and -- get this! -- I remained completely sober.

[Scylla]

Originally posted by matt_mcl
Excuse me, but I don't drink anything at all.

You must be very thirsty.

[astro]

Originally posted by matt_mcl
Excuse me, but I don't drink anything at all.

Sobriety is very hip.

Lost your fake ID huh?

[TwistofFate]

I used to be hip, until they changed what hip was, now what is hip is just strange and confusing......

[Sterra]

It will happen to you too!

Especially if you use words like square or hip.

[thinksnow]

Sterra
It will happen to you too!

Especially if you use words like square or hip. Awww, that's bogus! Dude, c'mon, bro, don't go all gnarly on me bra!

[dalovindj]

Now we are getting into some real discussion concerning the art of drinking. Ahhhhh.

First off: Absolut and Cranberry. Now this drink would be unhip if you drank it all the time. It is however very appropriate for early in the evening (like after work). Alot of people will opt for orange juice (me too sometimes), making it a screwdriver. The screwdriver is nice, but I like to switch it up. The danger is in using BOTH. Once you mix the Cranberry and OJ, you now have a Madas which is, unfortunately, bright pink. You could be drinking a screwdriver, and people will think "He's getting trashed tonight", but throw 2 juices into the same amount of Vodka and all of the sudden you may as well have a shirley temple.

The absolut is for a resonable budget. If one can afford to, one should go with the Belvedere or Grey Goose, but these will begin to hit your wallet rather quickly. The absolut is the lowest brand of Vodka you can drink and still feel reasonably good the next morning. These vodka drinks lower the overall fat consumption neccesary for getting drunk when compared to beer. So an alchoholic on a diet can often be seen drinking "Red Rippers" as my bartender friends call the Vodka-Cranberry cocktail.

Now, once we get further into the evening a couple different things can happen. Beer is a choice made by many. It is possible to drink both liquor and beer in an evening, but it must be done with care. I'm sure everyone knows this rule, but just in case I'll post it:

Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before Liquor, never sicker.

I know it sounds a little childish, but no matter how old you get, if you try to test this one you will lose. Shots are an exception. It is okay to drink beer all nite and have shots. But only if you can handle them. If your the type of cat who can't drink tequila straight, then don't try.

Now if you do decide to go with beer, there are many choices, obviously. Scylla, I like you, I really do. But I just can't understand this silver bullet nonsense. Believe me, I have unfortunately had occaision to engage in days of physical labor and at the end I find the true answer to be none other than natures own Budweiser. A man does feel more like a man at the end of a hard days work when sipping a nice cold bud.

I've heard people drink these coor's lites expecting to drink far too many. They claim other beers sit too heavy when you drink alot of them. If this is REALLY your problem, then a Corona is the answer. It's lighter than most beers and comes with the oh so tasty lime. An interesting alternative to a Corona is a Presidente. Different taste, properly served with lime or lemon, and it is oh so good.

The truly finest beer ever made is a guiness, tall and simple. A beer so special it has it's own glass type at most bars. A guiness is almost a meal however, and if you've got a full stomach it can be a hard choice. It also has the side effect of turning you're crap black as nite, which can be disheartning if you're not expecting it.

A 40 of Schlitz? Jesus christ. We used to say that schlitz was taken straight from the bathroom of a german brewery that let the employees drink all they could of the beer while working. When they urinate, the beer concentraion is so high in the urine, they just bottle it up and put the schlitz sticker on there.

But that brings up economoics again. If you are on a limited budget, 40's can come in real handy. I like a 40 of mickeys (malt liquor), or maybe Colt .45, although my 40 OZ days are well behind me. These are definately not hip in some circumstances, but they are good for street chillin' or house parties with a BYOB policy. Typically had by younger drinkers and crackheads.

When picking a beer you must also consider the seasons. There are summer brews, winter brews, and Octoberfest beers. A becks Octoberfest is a real treat. And a Pete's Winter Brew is a little sweet but really tasty next to a fire on a cold winters eve. A heineken is bitter and an aquired taste, but they are good any season.

There are certain things that men should not drink in public: Cider, pink drinks, lite beers, and drinks like Kalua(sp?) and milk, or baileys and milk. While these may be tasty, you're definately risking your cool.

We have been speaking mainly about drinking while at bars and such, but there is a different set of cool for drinks with dinner. Wine is wonderful, and it is definately a fine art to pick a proper wine. I am not so well versed in the wines, perhaps another doper could fill in these blanks. I just know how much I love a good wine when a knowledgable friend picks one out. A margarita is a ton of fun at dinner, but alot of bartenders hate to make them while they are working a busy shift at a bar becuase they take so long to make (frozen anyway). If the bar is busy perhaps you should not have a margarita, unless it is a restauraunt, and then it is expected.

In a vacation setting (vegas, islands, south beach) rum drinks are alot of fun. The color rules do not apply if you are on vacation in a warm setting. Then it is cool to get the brightest tallest, drink with all the bells and whistles and sit by a pool sipping them while trying to decide on the pool or the hot-tub.

Finally, shots: I have left out the wiskey from the above discussions because I, ashamed as I may be, cannot handle the brown liquors. Die-Hards will say real men drink bourbon or whiskey, alas they are more man than I. It takes every ounce of cool I have to not puke immediately upon tasting straight tequilla, whiskey, or bourbon. I like the Jaegermeister myself.

A middle of the road shot that seems popular is the So-Co Chilled. Easy to drink, this is a good shot for a group of people with varrying alchohol tolerences. For the timid, there are chocolate cake shots and PB&J shots, but make mine a Jaeger every time or Blackhouse if there is no Jaeger(shame shame). This is a good start, but this is much too complex and broad of an issue to be covered in a single post.

The most important thing to remember is to stay within your limits. If you get drunk to the point of losing control, you've lost your cool. The key is pacing. If you're planning to be out for a long time, take those first ones nice and slow. The more you drink, and the drunker you get, the easier the drinks go down, and the drunker you get. So be careful, be cool, and tip your bartenders well. Probably the best move Karma wise is to be a good tipper.

DaLovin'Dj

[matt_mcl]

Originally posted by astro
Lost your fake ID huh? [/B]

You're just jealous because you can't drink and would and I can drink and don't. Legal age in Quebec is 18.

[astro]

Based on the juvenile aspect of my post that was a good guess but I have even less hair than you mon frere (for now).

[the gullywumper]

So weve jumped threads, thats a groove. First let me say that the DJ obviously knows what hes talking about and, if you read some of his late night posts, he obviously knows how to get drunk. This isn't the Midori thread, but that jam has turned into set about what IS proper to drink and not off that pudding has any mention of Midori. Righteous.

And since all you bring downs are the cats on this site 24-7 and are the first to chime in with your bring down rant, I expand on Midori here, on your DJ hatin thread.

Digress
1. Midori drinkers who play like theyre hammered after two of those bad boys are the source of my frustration with the drink (ref. Adam Sandler's-"Im so wasted"). Being a bartender in the NYC, I see a lot of this behavior and not only do you look like a fool to the staff, any well informed patron, someone like DaLovin for example, sees right through the ballroom dancing and inane giggles. This is a put off for two reasons.

a. The bartender is not gonna wanna deal with a fake drunk, especially when they start drinking water after two.

b. The patrons are not gonna wanna be seen in a bar with posers.

These things all make Midori improper and ought to drank at home, which many of you freely admit you do. Besides, most bars don't carry any Mountain Dew.

To many books writ on what you outta drink. I think the DJ should write one on what NOT to drink.

Groovy.

[Albert Rose]

I'm getting really confused. Is this a joke?

[Scylla]

dalovindj:

Bud is the most appropriate after physical labor, but while working Coors Lite is the perfect beer. It keeps you hydrated and happy.

As an ex-bartender, your ordering advice is spot on in my eyes.

Contrary to popular belief, the key to not getting hung over is to drink a lot of nonalcoholic liquid right before you start drinking, and immediately after you're done.

If you feel queasy, a bagel or toast will settle you down.

When I went out frequently, I kept a quart of water by my bed, and sucked it down before I crashed.

Anybody can hoot with the owls, but that's the key to soaring with the eagles.

I happen to make the world's greatest Margarita. I invented my variation, and it became so popular they still make it at the bar I worked at 10 years ago.

The key to drinking the hard liquors is to sip them. Let them roll around in your mouth, get under your tongue, behind your teeth, the whole deal. Just sip enough to get your whole mouth tingly.

You'll absorb some of the alcohol directly into your bloodstream that way. When you swallow it should go down smooth and warm, without trouble.

A few minutes later, take another sip.


More bad news for you:

Cranberry, and Orange vodka drinks are for amateurs. It's a dead giveaway. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Pros drink Vodka or Gin n tonics and tradittionally start off with a bloody mary.

Fruit drinks containing rum or tequila are ok.

[Cat Whisperer]

Now, DJ, your last post was more about the art of drinking. Your previous posts seemed to be about the art of getting drunk, and as we all know, there is no art in that. Good show, old chap. (If you ever make it to Calgary, make sure you do the Big Rock Brewery tour. Some of the best beer in the world is brewed right here in town.)

[John487]

don't worry about esprix dj, he has a princess complex. (psssst, rumor has it, he has he a small wee-wee too. ;))

john

-just some gay man

[Nacho4Sara]

How about everyone just orders what they like and drinks it up and then we're all a happy little hip bunch of drunks?

I drink Captain Morgan's and Coke no matter what because 1.) I love the way it tastes, 2.) it's pretty hard to screw up, and 3.) I can always drive safely an hour or so after one.

Yeesh. Who cares what anybody drinks, besides the cast of Sex and the City?

And honestly, folks, when I'm broke, it's whatever is on tap. I'll own up to that little bit of unhipness.

[Helen's Eidolon]

Originally posted by dalovindj
The first rule of Improv is never deny. It would appear plenty of others are able to pick up on my humor. Don't get down on me cause you lack the skills to figure it out. DaLovin'Dj

Totally true about the first rule of improv, but not on a freaking message board! On stage, yes. Joking around with your friends in conversation, yes. In a written medium where tone of voice can't be detected? NO!

I have no sarcasm detecting ability, I admit, but I thought you were being serious.

Originally posted by astro
Lost your fake ID huh?

Who needs a fake ID in Montreal anyway? Maybe if you're under 13.... ;)
But count me in with the non-drinkers.

[Esprix]

dj, :rolleyes:

gullywumper, go away.

John487, go away, and stay away.

matt, let's go get some Mountain Dew and show these stupid fucks how to have fun without puking on your own shoes and making yourself look, well, unhip. :rolleyes:

Esprix

[bernse]

a. The bartender is not gonna wanna deal with a fake drunk, especially when they start drinking water after two.

Do people actually fake being drunk? If so, why?

[andros]

Do people actually fake being drunk? If so, why?

Because they want an excuse to act stupid, lower their inhibitions, be jerks, or otherwise act differently than usual. Sometimes they have an image of how "cool" drunk people act, and want to imitate that. They're usually to cowardly to cut loose without an excuse, but they don't really want to be drunk.

[Nacho4Sara]

Do people actually fake being drunk? If so, why?

God, I'm no denizen of hip or anything, but people who fake being drunk are straight up goobers. Some of the bars I frequent are really laidback, and this isn't a problem. But when you go to one of those get-yer-freak-on dance clubs where the age to enter is 19, and you have a mix of ages, this happens a lot. It's really, truly pathetic, and I don't know why anyone bother.

I usually limit myself to one drink, since I'm almost always driving. I tend to meet my friends places, and I prefer to have the freedom to come and go as I please, so I'm the DD no matter what. One drink loosens me up enough to chill and dance and meet people, but more than that and I don't enjoy myself because I'm worried about being able to drive.

There are times when I get completely shit-faced, and I always, always regret it in the morning. It's just not worth it. One morning spent puking my guts out, wishing for a quick death, puking what was left of my guts out, writing a ten page final for American Lit in two hours, driving it to school, and then working for six hours was enough for me.

It was my twentieth birthday, no less. Lesson: if anyone ever buys you a shot called a Screaming Nazi, pour it down the drain. And don't drink six of them, like I did, on top of four beers and other various shots (oddly enough, I can't remember what I drank after all the Nazis.)

[anya marie]

If Esprix and matt_mcl, will help me get the hang of partying , i will bring the Mountain Dew.

[dalovindj]

gully wumper and John487:

Don't listen to Esprix. Stay here on this great board, you're posts are a ton of fun. Esprix is just a whiny little homosexual who jumps at the chance to put people down. Especially people who are having fun. Gulley Wumper, you're posts are 1000 times more entertaining than sneaker-boy's ever dreamed of being. Keep the hip flowin' in the face of posers, man. It'd be a real drag if we let this bitch get us down. Dig?

Esprix:

Roll your eyes all you like, then feel free to suck on the bounty of my left nut you punk-ass freak-humper.

DaLovin' Dj

(who is lovin' the pit these days)

[Esprix]

I'm sorry, but what, exactly, does my homosexuality have to do with anything?

Cheap shots are so not hip.

Esprix

[dalovindj]

You tell me. It's in your sig. And that part wasn't the insult. The other parts were. Unless homosexual is a derogatory word for homosexual now.

DaLovin' Dj

[Esprix]

I am so enjoying you watching you dig yourself in deeper. You put on quite a show!

Esprix

[dalovindj]

Freak.

DaLovin' Dj

[ageless6]

I haven't had a drink for about a year and a half, but before that I was on a decades long quest for liquid hipness. (Hipnessaucity?)
Screw both of your pansy-assed ideas of what constitute real drinks. ( No offence, Sprix.) I used to go at it with both hands.(I know what you're thinking; go ahead.)
In my left hand, a rock glass with at least a double shot of whiskey; in my right, a bottle of beer to wash it with. Yes,even a Coor's light, though that wouldn't be my choice. It was just to cool my esophagus, although I always did like the taste of beer, especially the ones I stole from my father, when I was 11 or 12. No,
the point is to get the whiskey down smoothly. But twice I wound up doing that for breakfast, and twice I wound up in the hospital, my liver all in a tizzy.
So until they come up with a cure for liver lapse, I can't drink. Unless I want to check out, that is.
But let's suppose they come up with a cure tomorrow. Would I go back to the bottles?






















You fuckin' know it! Like Cylla said, I am terrifically thirsty.

[AndYrAStar]

I just wanted to make this known:

I decided about 300 of his posts ago that dalovindj was my new hero. I'd say "my new crush", but I'm guessing he's too old for me, so hero will do. :::overly dramatic sigh:::

[Necros]

So, wait a second, dalovindj. You seriously propose drinking a frozen margarita at any time. You drink Budweiser. You can't handle tequila, bourbon or whiskey. You don't know much about wine. And you honestly bvelieve you shouldn't drink beer before liquor?

And then you have to unmitigated gall to call yourself a drinker? Oh my. Remind me to take you to a bar sometime and show you how it's done. Poor boy.

[Tars Tarkas]

It will happen to you too!

Especially if you use words like square or hip.


Well, you know what they say, "it's hip to be square..."


That song is so lame...

[BoBettie]

Mmmmmmmm..Midori.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Zette

[dalovindj]

Necros:

Anytime. I like bars.

AndYrAStar:

Just doin' my part. I got 25 years of hip love on the books if you were wondering. Thanks for the positive vibes.

ageless6:

You're MY new hero: Hipnesaucity? That's a keeper.

DaLovin'Dj

[Cheesesteak]

Nacho4Sara:
Those Screaming Nazi's go down real smooth, don't they? I do believe they are the evillest shots ever designed. Jaegermeister and Rumplemintz, chilled. Come to think of it, when I was introduced to them, I puked my brains out that night too. Must be a coincedence. :D

Cheesesteak: who will drink anything as long as it ain't Whisky (blech!)

Jarbaby, did I spell it right this time?

[Nacho4Sara]

Even simply typing the name "screaming nazi" makes my stomach quake. Blech.

Esprix - for what it's worth, I love ya sweetie. Since I don't really care what's hip or not hip (especially considering who's deciding the newest definition), I won't use such an adjective on you - but you have been and will remain one of my favorite posters here. You are the epitome of awesomeness, and don't let anyone tell you different.

[TracyMarie]

Originally posted by Peta Tzunami
I had two glasses of a terrific Australian Chardonnay with dinner last night and -- get this! -- I remained completely sober.

Ahh, Australian Chardonnay! The woman has excellent taste!

[AndYrAStar]

Just doin' my part. I got 25 years of hip love on the books if you were wondering. Thanks for the positive vibes.Woo, I thought you were older for some reason. Sweet. ::bats eyelashes::

[andros]

Fuck, get a room, willyas?

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally posted by AndYrAStar
Just doin' my part. I got 25 years of hip love on the books if you were wondering. Thanks for the positive vibes.Woo, I thought you were older for some reason. Sweet. ::bats eyelashes::

That's funny; I thought he was younger.

[edwino]

Man, sometimes I really wonder if I'm losing it. This thread is an irony inside of a sarcasm wrapped in a *whoosh*.

And, really, the only way to drink is a quart of cheap whiskey every day until your eyes turn yellow and your belly swells. When you pass out in a urine filled Tijuana alley and wake up to find you can't remember the past two weeks except for Rosalinda the $10 whore with fetid body odor and you can't stop shaking cause you haven't had your morning hair of the dog and you find you are missing some of your teeth but you don't care cause you haven't been eating much anyway and you have a poorly done tattoo of a naked woman inscribed with the name "Steven," then you know you are hip.

[zoogirl]

Uh, hi everyone. I was just thinking, you know, and it occured to me. If you get really, really drunk, how are ya gonna remember if you were hip or not!? Just a thought...

[dalovindj]

If you wake up feeling really good with an attractive mate in your bed, then you probably pulled off being hip while drunk. If you feel pain at the site of sunlight, and there is a hideous wildebeast lying next to you, it might be time to try some new tactics.

DaLovin' Dj

[Munch]

As much as we all love the dj, I'm suprised noone has chastized him for the cardinal of all sins. The nectar of all beers is spelled with two Ns, and it will always be capitalized.

Guinness


Mmmmm...

[that_darn_cat]

Worrying about being hip; that's unhip. Whatever the hell that means these days. Pass the Old Overcoat.

Really, the key to having a good drunk is knowing your limits, and stopping one drink before then. And Amen to the water. H20 really is the water of the gods.

[dalovindj]

You are totally right Munch. I'm so ashamed. I'll get it right from now on!!!! I promise!!! How could I forget to capitalize Guinness? I'm still gonna mess up you're and your as well as their and there, however.

DaLovin' Dj

[Kamandi]

Originally posted by dalovindj
If you wake up feeling really good with an attractive mate in your bed, then you probably pulled off being hip while drunk. If you feel pain at the site of sunlight, and there is a hideous wildebeast lying next to you, it might be time to try some new tactics.

DaLovin' Dj

:D

[andros]

I'm still gonna mess up you're and your as well as their and there, however.

Add that one to the list kids:

"It's hip to not care about grammar."

Noted, O Hip One.

[andros]

And apparently it's also hip to split infinitives.

[dalovindj]

It's hip to care about (or relate) the meaning of a phrase, but once you got that, the rest is just window dressin'.

DaLovin' Dj

[racinchikki]

I would just like to observe that dalovindj reminds me a lot of Indy Rock Pete. Only instead of indy rock, it's hippos or whatever.