How do you make a flirt thread?

[Johanna]

I keep seeing Dopers do flirt threads here and there was even an instructional thread for the flirt-impaired.

The best flirt I ever had was from a stunningly beautiful Indian woman when she & her husband were on the same tropical cruise as Mrs M. & me. She started doing that eye thing with me. I did it back. We played secret eyeball back & forth for days. Not a single word ever passed between us.

That's how women flirt in those Eastern countries, with the eyes alone. That's the kind of flirt Jomo likes. (shy) But here you pretty much have to use words. The range of eye expressions here is kind of limited. :) ;) :rolleyes:

Where shall I start?
1) I like Geobabe, the only single Dopette I've met F2F
2) I like Celestina for her name
3) How you doin', Opal? ;)

Is that how it goes?

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Jomo Mojo
I like Geobabe ...Of course you do, silly.

[Johanna]

Hey, this is easier than I thought! Thanks, {{{{{{{Geobabe}}}}}}} <smack, smooch>

[Geobabe]

Happy to help, my friend.

[celestina]

[giggle]

Gosh, JM, is little ol' me getting a reputation as a flirt on this board? :)

As far as flirting goes, IRL I like to be shockingly upfront and/or subtle, doing the eye or hair or hand touch thing with fellas. It just depends on my mood and how much I figure the fella can take. I usually wind up scaring him off, though, because for some reason fellas--or at least the ones I've encountered--just don't know how to handle a smart, funny woman who takes the initiative. You know? On the boards, flirting's just plain fun, and it really is safe. I mean really, when am I ever going to meet any of y'all? But it's so much fun writing out scenarios and stuff. There's a real creative process to it.

BTW, I'm glad you like my name. I like it too because I sure do love being a sorceress and stirring up all kinds of naughtiness, and my ultimate aim is to be a clown, be a clown, be a clown. :0)

So, JM, let's flirt. As I see it, it's your move, Sugar.

[Watermelon Man]

How bout doing the flirt with a couple of drinks and all?

I will be serving!

drinks and ....well I tell you , I am at your service

[mrblue92]

Isn't this more of a GQ kind of thread? ;)

Flirt au Naturale

Ingredients:

One thread (preferably MPSIMS)
At least two Dopers (either amorous or horny, though that describes all of them)
One package of flirtation yeast
One high-pressure fire hose (for emergencies)

Instructions:

Take the thread out of the box. Put the Dopers together with the thread into a large mixing bowl. Sometimes they will immediately solidify into a paste, other times it will take quite a bit of time. Every Doper and thread combination is a little different. If the word "flirt" does not appear on the thread package, for example, you may need to knead the Dopers firmly until they are ready to accept the thread.

Once the thread/Doper mixture is of a firm, doughy consistency, *very carefully* add the flirtation yeast. Beware that this is a tricky substance and has been know to explode spontaneously. Once added, the yeast will immediately create a good deal of heat; this is perfectly normal and should be expected. However, one must take great care to watch the temperature careful. If it begins to cool, you must add more yeast, lest the loaf shrivel up into nothing but crust. If it gets too hot, it will burst into flames, requiring use of the fire hose. (Incidentally, one must be careful to aim the hose slightly away from the base of the flames. Experience shows that spraying the base directly just stimulates the conflagration.)

[Note: It may come as a surprise to newbies that an external heat source, such as an oven, is not needed. This alone should give you reason to respect the potential power of flirtation yeast--it must not be underestimated.]

Handled properly, the flirt will remain hot and grow at an exponential rate, absorbing Dopers that just happen to be lying around the kitchen. Once those are dissolved, other Dopers will smell the dough and come running until it is of such massive size that the authorities will call the National Guard. As a single shot from the Moderator Mark III Tank will obliterate your creation, it will be necessary to start again.

Be patient.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

My best advice for a flirt thread is to forbid me from coming into it or posting to it. I'm the biggest wet blanket I know. Oh sure, I'll toss off the compliment here and there, like acknowledging (as I did to Geo 4 minutes after MrBlue left my house) that he's the best-kept bachelor secret on the boards, but otherwise, I am not really much of a flirt.

I guess I'd be good at standing on the perimeter of the thread and kicking people back in when they try to leave. Hand 'em a compliment, slick down their little cowlick, and boot 'em back into the fray.

[mrblue92]

"best-kept bachelor secret on the boards"???

*blushes*

If so, it's a pretty good secret because even *I* didn't know... :p

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by mrblue92
"best-kept bachelor secret on the boards"???
It's true. If you didn't live in freakin' Michigan, I'd be stalking ya, believe me.

[Johanna]

"Sugar" — She called me "Sugar"!!!
<walking on air>

Ah, celestina, heavenly Lady, celestial Sorceress, thou hast bewitched me into thy thrall.

umm...

is that a good start?

Charmed, I'm sure. ;)

Come wiss me to ze Casbah...
nah.

P.S. Can I say "Dopette"?
How about "Dope pet"?

[RTFirefly]

[El Gallo]
And you will soon agree, señors, why
invite regret
when you can get the sort of flirt
you'll never, ever forget!

You can get the flirt emphatic,
you can get the flirt polite,
you can get the flirt with Indians -
a truly charming sight.
You can get the flirt on horseback,
they all say it's distinguée -
but you see the sort of flirt you get
depends on what you pay,
it depends on what you pay.
[/El Gallo]

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by Geobabe
It's true. If you didn't live in freakin' Michigan, I'd be stalking ya, believe me. :eek:

First I find Persephone listed me as a "Secret Unrequited Crush", then you and Cranky start sweet-talking me... Who's next, BunnyGirl? Juniper200?? tsarina?

Or perhaps that dlgirl...

[celestina]

_________
Jomo Mojo said:
"Ah, celestina, heavenly Lady, celestial Sorceress, thou hast bewitched me into thy thrall.

umm...

is that a good start?

Charmed, I'm sure.

Come wiss me to ze Casbah...
nah.

P.S. Can I say "Dopette"?
How about "Dope pet"?"
________________

[celestina blushing] You really are sweet, JM, and this thread is so cute. Yes, you've made an excellent start. I do get a kick out of compliments--so keep them 'em coming--and out of bewitchin' fellas when I can. As far as this "Dopette" and "Dope pet" business goes, you may refer to me as a "Dopette" because I am addicted to this damn website, and while I'm not anyone's pet, I sure do LOVE being petted and stroked. ;)


____________
Watermelon Man said:
"How bout doing the flirt with a couple of drinks and all?

I will be serving!

drinks and ....well I tell you , I am at your service"
______________

Yep, flirtin's thirsty work. So Watermelon Man, what kind of drinks you got to serve? :)

[Johanna]

<petting and stroking celestina's fur>
I sure do love to hear that purr!

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
It's true. If you didn't live in freakin' Michigan, I'd be stalking ya, believe me.

And if you keep being distracted Geobabe, you'll never notice that I'm already stalking you!

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
And if you keep being distracted Geobabe, you'll never notice that I'm already stalking you! Awww, that's so cute!

[VitrolicBump]

Originally posted by mrblue92
:eek:

First I find Persephone listed me as a "Secret Unrequited Crush", then you and Cranky start sweet-talking me... Who's next, BunnyGirl? Juniper200?? tsarina?

Or perhaps that dlgirl...

Hmmmm...that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Mind if I try? ;)

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Awww, that's so cute!

Not even close to being as cute as you though ;)

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Not even close to being as cute as you though ;) Careful, sweetheart. I'm shockingly single and very susceptible to flattery right now... *bats eyelashes*

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Originally posted by xizor
Not even close to being as cute as you though ;) Careful, sweetheart. I'm shockingly single and very susceptible to flattery right now... *bats eyelashes*

In that case, here are a dozen roses, and please have a seat as I sing you a love song...
[me singing]La-dy, from the moment I saw you
standing, whoa whoa all alone...[/me singing]

Oh Geobabe, if only I could count the grains of sand on a beach, or all the stars in the sky would I be able to measure your beauty, for your loveliness knows no bounds, and cannot be equaled.

[Geobabe]

Oof. Hang on a sec while I decide whether to forgive you for getting that song stuck in my head.

[Talkinsquirrel]

*knocks on door* Excuse me is this the thread where... *sees large amounts of mush and lovey dovey kinda stuff going on*

*backs out slowly*

*gets kicked back in by Cranky*

FINE FINE!!

So um... how you ladies doing?

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Originally posted by mrblue92
Or perhaps that dlgirl...
Hmmmm...that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Mind if I try? ;) Knock yourself out, babe.

[Johanna]

Geobabe, mano grazi mylimoji, your picture on the People Pages (http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/geobabe.html) is totally hot!

Rrrowr!

All the blokes will be after you now. Just remember me, tave mileju, tave buciuoju tukstantiu buciniais.

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Jomo Mojo
All the blokes will be after you now. Oh, like they weren't before. Problem is, none of them seem to be in the same time zone as me. *sigh* If I could just get somebody who is geographically compatible to chase me, I'd be a happy girl.

[celestina]

______
Jomo Mojo said:
<petting and stroking celestina's fur>
I sure do love to hear that purr!
______

Oooh, a rhyme! What other kinds of original poetry can compose for me, Sugar? :)

[Kritter]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Oh, like they weren't before. Problem is, none of them seem to be in the same time zone as me. *sigh* If I could just get somebody who is geographically compatible to chase me, I'd be a happy girl.



I looked at the picture, all I can say is a quote I learned from my dad: "Damn girl you make my sticker peck out" (He's an uncurable hill billy)

so, uh, how do you feel about fat old ugly married guys?






crossing his fingers

[Watermelon Man]

Along with cold beer varieties, and red wine,

"Screaming Orgasm", "Sex On The Beach", "Bartender's Semen", and some other imaginative cocktails are being served now!!

Come over and party on with a bit more juice in you!!!

And they are free to boot

PS: Celestina and Geobabe...

I have a feeling it would be such a blast to work with you ladies...

Would you mind being the waitresses for one party?

[TruePisces]

Oh bartender? May I have a little "Bartender's Semen"? I've never tried it before, and I'm always up for something new.

[Verrain]

Always preferred a "Slow Comofortable Screw" myself but I'll wait for waitress service to begin. :D

[Watermelon Man]

/////TP!!!!\\\\\

Ok, please be my guest.

But keep in mind, it might be addictive!

[sub]..and goes very well along with the SOTB...(/sub)

[TruePisces]

Verrain, you just may have to get me one of those when you come to NY.... ;)

[Verrain]

Well if I hit all the lights I could be there in two hours. ;)

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Krotchkritter
so, uh, how do you feel about fat old ugly married guys?
Oooh, sorry, married's a deal breaker. We can still be friends, though...

[Geobabe]

Oh, and Verrain? What was that you wanted again? ;)

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
If I could just get somebody who is geographically compatible to chase me, I'd be a happy girl.

I am 1 hour away from the DC area by plane...

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by Geobabe
If I could just get somebody who is geographically compatible to chase me, I'd be a happy girl.
I am 1 hour away from the DC area by plane... And you're waiting for...?

[rayniday]

*wanders up to the bar, sees Watermelon man busy*

Geez, gotta do everything myself around here!

*wanders behind the bar, mixes up some stuff, gulps it down, makes a face, then tries again*

Whoo! Now this is a party! Uh, this IS a party, right?

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

notices MrBlue standing alone

Okay, I'm still not really participating in this thread, so I'll just yell all this from over by the door.

MrBlue92, you are

* Tall
* Attractive
* Gainfully employed
* Well-read
* Well-travelled
* Educated
* Funny
* Charming
* Humble

And you:

* Wear cool glasses
* drive a truck
* seem to have a lot of patients with the wimmins
* take good vacation photos
* own the coolest Tyvek world map ever! :)

Seriously, any of you Doper females who are fooled by his quiet ways and self-deprecating refusal to flirt overmuch are missing the boat here. I've checked out the guy, and we're talking prime Grade-A beef.

(pardon me for the objectification of your person, MrBlue) leers a bit

[TruePisces]

Originally posted by Verrain
Well if I hit all the lights I could be there in two hours. ;)

Oh, the temptation! And I am home from work today, too....

[celestina]

Hey {{{Watermelon Man}}}, I will try my best to waitress for you while I wait for Jomo Mojo to recite his next poetic creation for me. :)

Hmmm. What Verrain's having sounds really intriguing.

[sidles up to Verrain]

{{{{{Verrain}}}}} I'd ask you for a sip of your drink so I can make sure that Watermelon Man put enough of the right ingredients in it, Sweetie, but it seems like you're being rather well taken care of.

[goes over to Verrain]

So mrblue92, have you put in your drink order yet? What would YOU like to drink?

[VitrolicBump]

I don't need any of those fancy schmancy mixers you guys are making up. Just give me a mrblue. On ice. Oh and with a cherry on a little sword. Thanks. :smiles mischieviously at mrblue:

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan
* seem to have a lot of patients with the wimminsLast time I checked, I was not a doctor. But I can play one upon request. (Of course, it would likely end up being a doctor of psychiatry...)

* own the coolest Tyvek world map ever!Only because it's on loan from the Cranky Collection... ;)
(pardon me for the objectification of your person, MrBlue) leers a bit Oh, you seem very sorry... :)

Originally posted by celestina
So mrblue92, have you put in your drink order yet? What would YOU like to drink?
Originally posted by dlgirl
Just give me a mrblue. On ice.
Looks like I'm already drunk!

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by Geobabe
If I could just get somebody who is geographically compatible to chase me, I'd be a happy girl.
I am 1 hour away from the DC area by plane... And you're waiting for...?

1). An invitation.
2). A time and place.
3). my company to pay for my next business trip to DC (should happen in Nov. or Dec.)
4). The 5 mile line at the airport security checkpoint to recede.
5). To make sure I am forgiven for getting a song stuck in your head

[VitrolicBump]

So it's okay that I drink you, mrblue?

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
1). An invitation.
2). A time and place.
3). my company to pay for my next business trip to DC (should happen in Nov. or Dec.)
4). The 5 mile line at the airport security checkpoint to recede.
5). To make sure I am forgiven for getting a song stuck in your head 1) I thought that was implicit in the discussion already. Sheesh. Are you always this thick? Oh, wait, you're male. Never mind.
2) See 3)
3) I'm not sure I want to wait that long. I'm an impatient little hussy.
4) I am well worth any effort expended on my behalf, I assure you.
5) The Brahms Requiem is back in there now, so you're off the hook, at least for the moment.

[Superdude]

I notice, Geobabe, that you didn't extend that invitation to me. After all, mrblue won the heart of our fair dlgirl, so I can't knock the bottom of her. Therefore, I think it's only fair that I be allowed to throw it in you. I mean, after showing me your luscious cleavage, how am I supposed to not want to?

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Superdude
I notice, Geobabe, that you didn't extend that invitation to me. Oh, are you done throwing yourself at all the other women of the SDMB? ;) I didn't extend the invitation to you because you weren't here. You wanna chase me, you gotta chase me. I ain't gonna go chasing you.

Are you spending a lot of quality time with those shots of my cleavage? I notice they haven't been posted anywhere. Greedy thing.

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by dlgirl
So it's okay that I drink you, mrblue? Um... um... I don't... um... well... ok.

[Maeglin]

Well, if they're on the house, I'll take a Suffering Bastard or a Screaming Viking.

[VitrolicBump]

Mmmmmm...Good. Then I'll just sip here and bite here...;)

[VitrolicBump]

Darn it! I meant that last post for mrblue.

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
1) I thought that was implicit in the discussion already. Sheesh. Are you always this thick? Oh, wait, you're male. Never mind.
2) See 3)
3) I'm not sure I want to wait that long. I'm an impatient little hussy.
4) I am well worth any effort expended on my behalf, I assure you.
5) The Brahms Requiem is back in there now, so you're off the hook, at least for the moment.

Oh, the way you belittle and degrade me is getting me so aroused, I'll be there in an hour.

No, really, I'll be there in an hour.

[Superdude]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Oh, are you done throwing yourself at all the other women of the SDMB? ;)

Hey, now...there's a pecking order. And you, my dear Geobabe, are definitley in the top 5.



Are you spending a lot of quality time with those shots of my cleavage? I notice they haven't been posted anywhere. Greedy thing.

Hey, I'm a single, unattached guy. Of course I'm hoarding those pictures for my own use!

[bobkitty]

Originally posted by Superdude
Hey, now...there's a pecking order. And you, my dear Geobabe, are definitley in the top 5.

*AHEM* Hello?? I thought we had a thing going here. But geez, if the lovely and talented Geo is in your top five, there's no WAY I can get any higher than, say, 45 or so. *sigh* Back to the drawing board... unless, of course, I'm somewhere on Geo's list...

-BK

[TruePisces]

Originally posted by Watermelon Man
/////TP!!!!\\\\\

Ok, please be my guest.

But keep in mind, it might be addictive!

..and goes very well along with the SOTB...

And how on earth did I miss this earlier? To think, I almost missed out on a special drink from the best looking bartender in the place. To make it up to you, I will take some Sex on the Beach with my Bartender's Semen... and I see myself coming back for more of both.

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Mmmmmm...Good. Then I'll just sip here and bite here... OW! Hey!

[VitrolicBump]

Sorry sweetie...was that too hard?

[mrblue92]

Just surprised me... hey, is that Brian Molko over there?

*steals a kiss*

[VitrolicBump]

Whe...hey, wait a minute...:grabs mrblue by the neck and kisses him deeply: How's that? :giggling:

[Superdude]

Originally posted by bobkitty


*AHEM* Hello?? I thought we had a thing going here. But geez, if the lovely and talented Geo is in your top five, there's no WAY I can get any higher than, say, 45 or so. *sigh[/sub]


How wrong you are, my pet. You happen to also be in the top five. I'm not revealing who is in which space, though.

I will say, however, that the top five consists of, in no particular order:

[list]
jarbabyj
bobkitty
Cougarfang
Geobabe, and a tie between
dlgirl and Medea's Child

[Geobabe]

Goodness. A multi-flirt. I'm talented, I can handle this. Let's take these in order...
Originally posted by xizor
Oh, the way you belittle and degrade me is getting me so aroused, I'll be there in an hour.

No, really, I'll be there in an hour. I haven't even begun to belittle and degrade you. But if you're that easily aroused, we should definitely talk. Originally posted by Superdude
Hey, now...there's a pecking order. And you, my dear Geobabe, are definitley in the top 5. Pish. I wait in line for no man.
Originally posted by bobkitty
unless, of course, I'm somewhere on Geo's list...Oh my! Well, I am straight, but then again, I did go to Smith...and as vix can attest, I'm an equal opportunity gropee.

[VitrolicBump]

Well, aren't I a lucky little girl. Thanks, Superdude. :) But mrblue still has me.

[Superdude]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Pish. I wait in line for no man.

Oh, but I'm worth it. Trust me. Or should I send you my credentials and references?

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
But if you're that easily aroused, we should definitely talk.

Easily aroused only by the perfect combination of smart, sexy and sassy. And you, Geobabe, have definitely got it.

BTW, easily aroused does NOT mean easily climactic, that takes a couple of whiles. ;)

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Easily aroused only by the perfect combination of smart, sexy and sassy. And you, Geobabe, have definitely got it.You, sir, are clearly a man of discriminating taste. C'mere. *smooch!*
BTW, easily aroused does NOT mean easily climactic, that takes a couple of whiles. ;) Well, I would certainly hope so.

Originally posted by Superdude
Oh, but I'm worth it. Trust me. Or should I send you my credentials and references? I think you should.

[Superdude]

That can be arranged.

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
You, sir, are clearly a man of discriminating taste. C'mere. *smooch!*

Thank you, and may I add that you taste good too ;)

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Superdude
That can be arranged. Very well, then. I'll expect it on my desk, in triplicate, first thing in the morning.
Originally posted by xizor
Thank you, and may I add that you taste good too ;) Really? I'm a little sweaty right now. I just came back from a run. (And if I do say so myself, DAMN, do my legs look good!)

I'll be in the shower for the next 15 minutes or so if anyone needs me...

[Verrain]

Or perhaps you'll need one of us, Geo. You know wash your back, hand you a towel, that sort of thing. :)

[Geobabe]

C'mon over.

[Verrain]

That sound you just heard was the sound barrier being broken in a Chevy Malibu. :D

[Geobabe]

WooooHOOOOOO!!

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Whe...hey, wait a minute...:grabs mrblue by the neck and kisses him deeply: How's that? :giggling: Works for me.

[Aside: See folks? Anyone can follow the recipe, even a poor schmuck like me.]

[VitrolicBump]

Originally posted by mrblue92
Originally posted by dlgirl
Whe...hey, wait a minute...:grabs mrblue by the neck and kisses him deeply: How's that? :giggling: Works for me.

[Aside: See folks? Anyone can follow the recipe, even a poor schmuck like me.]

Oh, you're not a poor schmuck, sweetums. You are a very rich man. You have me. And I am a rich woman, to have someone like you. :)

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Oh, you're not a poor schmuck, sweetums. You are a very rich man. You have me. And I am a rich woman, to have someone like you. :) Aww...

(Now stop it before you make everyone else puke, K?) :P

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
[B(And if I do say so myself, DAMN, do my legs look good!)
[/B]

I'd really really like to be the judge of that!

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by Geobabe
(And if I do say so myself, DAMN, do my legs look good!)
I'd really really like to be the judge of that! They will be on prominent display at the January NYCDope, as I will certainly be wearing my Official Dopefest Miniskirttm, possibly at Dope-A-Ween (haven't picked out my costume yet; I better get busy!) and at numerous other events in the Northern Virginia area. Or were you thinking more along the lines of a private showing?

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe Or were you thinking more along the lines of a private showing? [/B]

Actually I was thinking of a picture, but if there is the option of a private showing, then I'll take on of those please!

[VitrolicBump]

Originally posted by mrblue92
Aww...

(Now stop it before you make everyone else puke, K?) :P

Okay. I'll stop. :mwah: (And what I said is true.:))

[Superdude]

Hey, look, dlgirl and mrblue...Let's not hijack a perfectly good flirt thread into a bunch of kissyface. Unless some of it's directed at me, of course.

[VitrolicBump]

Oh, sure. You would like that wouldn't you? Well, I am not going to be naughty (for anyone else but mrblue:)). You are just going to have to find someone else to fill that place. I am sure someone else would be more than happy to...

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Actually I was thinking of a picture, but if there is the option of a private showing, then I'll take on of those please! I don't happen to have any pics of my legs handy, though there may be some buried amidst the records of the festivities at ChiDope, as I was wearing my typical brief skirt at that rather notable event, thus affording an excellent view of the aforementioned fabulous gams; however, I am disinclined to search for them at the moment, so unless you find yourself with sufficient spare time to find them your own damnself, it appears a private showing it will have to be.

Parse that and I just might sleep with ya.

[Geobabe]

Well?

[Tretiak]

Sam Clam and Larry Lobster were best friends at the bottom of the ocean. One day they wandered into shallow rocky waters when a hurricane came through and smashed them both against the rocks. Larry instantly found himself at the Gates of Heaven where he was greeted by Peter himself...

The rest of the story is really good and funny, honest. But I won't tell it here. Because here is where I am supposed to say the things to make you smile and nod and want to fire off an email to me. Here is where I mention by great job and my impeccable hygiene. And you make a mental note and think "Yeah". And I say how I like my beer dark and my hockey live and absolutely no ketchup on my hot dogs. And then you quietly mouth "Yes". And I continue on about how I like all the things you like, almost certainly, like ice cream and jazz music on a warm summer evening. And then you try to resist the urge to scream out "Yes! Yes!" at the top of your lungs, because you don't want to upset your co-workers or neighbors. And I mention how I am funny and sincere and whatever else seems to be in vogue these days. But who is kidding whom. What you really need to know is the rest of the story about Larry Lobster. And I tell it better than anyone.

No weirdos or freaks.

[VitrolicBump]

Originally posted by Tretiak
No weirdos or freaks.

And you came here? :D

[tevya]

I usually don't participate in online flirting and I will probably not respect myself in the morning (or after I hit submit), but could someone throw me a bone and give a me a good juicy flirt post? If necessary we can arrange something through paypal.

I'm sliding towards depressed and am feeling lonely, ugly, stupid, fat, and generally unattractive. (How's thatfor sucky material to work with?)


God I hope this doesn't look as pathetic as I know it does!

[celestina]

JomoMojo, hon', where's the original poem you were going to compose for me? :-(

Watermelon Man, you still haven't taken my order for a drink yet.

[sigh]

Nobody wants to flirt with me. :-(

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Parse that and I just might sleep with ya.

Ok, so that would be:
IF I want to see your legs I have 2 choices.
1). Look for pictures from a dopefest where you wore a mini-skirt.
2). Be disinclined to do that and "settle" for a private showing.

I choose option number 2. And since I did the parsing, sleeping with Geobabe remains in the maybe category instead of in the not-on-your-life category. Yay me!

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Originally posted by Tretiak
No weirdos or freaks.
And you came here? :D Yeah really. Didja read the thread before ya posted that, chum? We've got a veritable den of virtual iniquity going here. You want something wholesome, look...uh, in threads I haven't posted to, I guess.

OK, now, where was I? Oh yes:
Originally posted by xizor
And since I did the parsing, sleeping with Geobabe remains in the maybe category instead of in the not-on-your-life category. Yay me! Well, you never know until you try, do ya?

[bobkitty]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Well, you never know until you try, do ya?

::blink::

::blink::

::tilting head to one side.. yup, still says the same thing::

Hey Geo..poke if I keep poke poking at you, poke will you put up with it for a while poke and then bite me, or poke would you just bite me poke right off the bat?

The bunny rabbit poke seemed to like it..poke

:D

[Geobabe]

Chomp!

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Chomp!

[quickly crosses legs]
I see I'll have to be careful in doing this...

Let's see if what I have in my repetoire of things to say to get women to sleep with me.... umm....
[kid in back seat voice]will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me? will you sleep with me?[/kid in back street voice]

That's about the best I have. No wonder I never get any.

[Geobabe]

Well, you just gotta poke me in the right place. I promise I won't bite then.

[Tretiak]

Originally posted by dlgirl
Originally posted by Tretiak
No weirdos or freaks.

And you came here? :D

I was trying to be ironical. :-P

[mrblue92]

Originally posted by Tretiak
I was trying to be ironical. :-P
Have you tried eating spinach?

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Well, you just gotta poke me in the right place. I promise I won't bite then.

I can think of 7 I'd like to try right off the bat.

[Johanna]

Originally posted by celestina
JomoMojo, hon', where's the original poem you were going to compose for me? :-(Hon! She called me "Hon"! <walking on cloud 9>

Sorry, sweetie, for days I racked my brains for a word that rhymed with "sugar" but all I could think of was b...

No, I'm not going to say something I would regret later...

Hon is a great place to start

celestina, my hon
Flirtin' with you is fun

Got my blues on the run
I'll be the moon to your sun

Let me Yang your Yin
It won't be a sin

[b]celestina[/i], my sky
You could make me cry

[xizor]

Originally posted by Jomo Mojo
celestina, my sky
You could make me cry

as long as she doesn't make the baby jesus cry.

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
as long as she doesn't make the baby jesus cry. That would be bad.








(I'm still trying to figure out what the 7 places are.)

[celestina]

_______
JomoMojo said:
"Hon! She called me "Hon"! <walking on cloud 9>

Sorry, sweetie, for days I racked my brains for a word that rhymed with "sugar" but all I could think of was b...

No, I'm not going to say something I would regret later...

Hon is a great place to start

celestina, my hon
Flirtin' with you is fun

Got my blues on the run
I'll be the moon to your sun

Let me Yang your Yin
It won't be a sin

celestina, my sky
You could make me cry
___________

[celestina grabs JomoMojo, pulls his head down within her reach, and gives him a big ol' kiss, caressing his face with her hands. :)]

Awww. JM, I'm truly touched at your poetic prowess, Sweetie. :) I just LOVE poetry. I can be rude and crude too, so if you want to create a rhyme for Sugar, go right ahead. [giggle]

As far as your poem goes, how's this for a reply:

JM, my dove from above,
Flirtin' with you is an art I love.

Don't know why you thought
You needed to be taught.
Flirtin's right up yo' alley. Hon', you're hot.

I'll chase your blues as far as I can
And smile so bright my light will light up your land.

And yeah, sure, you can Yang my Yin anytime
In rain, sun, snow, or sleet 'cause you're so fine.

Awww, Sugar, you say I'm your sky.
Jesus, that almost make ME wanna cry.


Okay, JM. Let's do it again. Can we? Huh? Huh? Huh? Will you write me another poem, Sugar?

Oh, and xixor:

I can make the baby Jesus cry at will or not
Because, Sugar, I GOT it like that.
Yeah, I'm JUST that hot. :D
So you better fan yourself.
Shade your eyes with your hat.
Or better yet, see that Scotch on the shelf?
Would you bring me a drink? There's a good guy,
'Cause my throat's gettin' awful dry.

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
(I'm still trying to figure out what the 7 places are.)

Would it be easier if I just showed you ;)

Originally posted by celestina
And I can make the baby Jesus cry at will or not
Because, Sugar, I GOT it like that.
Yeah, I'm JUST that hot.

If you were to pull this off, by trick or by heist,
That would make you the first temptation of christ. :D

[celestina]

___________
xixor said:
If you were to pull this off, by trick or by heist,
That would make you the first temptation of christ.
___________

To your conceit, this my Muse would say:

Why, I wonder, would you think--
By the way, I'm upset you didn't bring me a drink :-(--
That by trick or by heist
I'd ever be the FIRST temptation of Christ?
I, through no ill-intent of my own, though I can
And do stand alone in glory, don't seek to tempt man.
I can't help what I am.
There's no trick to my love,
For it's freely given. If you look above
The heavens can be cold or hot,
And as the Mistress of the Stars my lot
Is to bring warmth and to shine.
If Christ or any man is drawn to my sign
And there choose to sip from my cup of wine,
And find tears of joy, or not, then that's just fine. :)

[Johanna]

Originally posted by celestina
[celestina grabs JomoMojo, pulls his head down within her reach, and gives him a big ol' kiss, caressing his face with her hands. :)<heart going thumpa-thumpa-thumpa-thumpa>
<steam rising from body>

celestina, Oww! <sizzle> Picture my Love-O-Meter as a thermometer with mercury bursting out the top! You're such a sweetheart. Nobody ever wrote me a poem like that. <sniff>

Goddess Lady, you're so fine
I'm gonna drink you up like sweetest wine

Don't be shy and don't demur
I'm gonna pet your fur until you purr

celestina, I'm under your hex
O paragon of the fairer sex

Let down on me your flowing hair
When I breathe, you are my air

Kundalini rising up my Love-O-Meter
Can't wait until I really meet her

Ecstatic hymns to you I'll sing 'em
Shakti Goddess, love my lingam

You're cooler than an iced Zamboni
Shakti Devi, I love your Yoni

You're hotter than ten million suns
I'll look no further: you are the One

Enfold me in your Tantric bliss
I'll trade the universe for your kiss

Lover with skin of delicate hue
My 2000th post is all for YOU!

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by Geobabe
(I'm still trying to figure out what the 7 places are.)

Would it be easier if I just showed you ;)
I suppose while I'm showing you my legs, you could show me...whatever it is you're gonna show me. :D

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by Geobabe
(I'm still trying to figure out what the 7 places are.)

Would it be easier if I just showed you ;)
I suppose while I'm showing you my legs, you could show me...whatever it is you're gonna show me. :D

If you show me your legs, I'll show you anything you want to see!

This is so cool, I get to poke Geobabe in 7 different places. The only question now is where to start...

[Tygr]

Originally posted by tevya
...am feeling <cared about>, <beautiful>, <bright, clever and witty>, <shapely>, and <genuinely *rrowl*-inducing>. [/B]Sorry, but I noticed a few glaring inaccuracies in your post that I felt compelled to re-edit. I'm quite certain the above quote is more factual, and hopefully doesn't understate the truth too badly.

:)

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by xizor
This is so cool, I get to poke Geobabe in 7 different places. The only question now is where to start... Just so long as you don't poke me in the eye (ow!).

[tevya]

Originally posted by Tygr
Originally posted by tevya
...am feeling <cared about>, <beautiful>, <bright, clever and witty>, <shapely>, and <genuinely *rrowl*-inducing>. Sorry, but I noticed a few glaring inaccuracies in your post that I felt compelled to re-edit. I'm quite certain the above quote is more factual, and hopefully doesn't understate the truth too badly.

:) [/B]

Tygr, tygr, burning bright,
Such a lovely, welcome sight,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy beauteous symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
When thy heart began to beat,
What careful hand forged thee so sweet?

What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What tender grasp
Dared its tender visage clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did He smile his work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?

Tygr, tygr, burning bright,
Such a lovely, welcome sight,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy beauteous symmetry?

My thanks / apologies to William Blake

[xizor]

Originally posted by Geobabe
Originally posted by xizor
This is so cool, I get to poke Geobabe in 7 different places. The only question now is where to start... Just so long as you don't poke me in the eye (ow!).

No eyes, but one of my choices was in that general area of the body, only a little lower.

[Tygr]

Originally posted by tevya
Tygr, tygr, burning bright,
Such a lovely, welcome sight,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy beauteous symmetry?Thy shining eyes
all that inspire.
Thy gentle hands
all the frame requir'd.
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?The distant deeps
thine eyes possess.
O, were wings and fire
By thy hands caress'd.
And what shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
When thy heart began to beat,
What careful hand forged thee so sweet?Thy beauty great
this heart doth twist.
Thy soothing hands
by these lips kiss'd.
What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What tender grasp
Dared its tender visage clasp?'Twas in the furnace
of passion's fire.
Thy tender grasp
this heart's desire.
When the stars threw down their spears
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did He smile his work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?Thine own fair countenance
made yon stars weep.
But He smiles on thee
of kindness deep.
Tygr, tygr, burning bright,
Such a lovely, welcome sight,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy beauteous symmetry?Thy shining eyes
drive on desire.
Thy soft, soft hands
all the frame requir'd.

[celestina]

Gosh, Jomo Mojo, that was a great poem you did, and I'm quite flattered you dedicated your 2000th post to me. You're quite the poet. :D How's this for a reply?

My wordsmith, hold out your cup,
And I'll fill it up.

Though, I've been lookin' at my watch,
And I swear I've YET to get some Scotch.

[giggle]

Guess I'll have to quench my thirst
On those ecstatic hymns that from your lips burst
And kiss your kundalini so well versed.

My wine is sweet sure
And potent enough to lure

Those seeking inspiration
On the mysteries of creation.

Take care. Don't drink too fast.
After the first sip, you'll want that drink to last!

After the second sip, you'll feel a chill,
See stars, and start to lose your will.

And when you start to shiver and shake
Then will I my hair from its pins take,

And wrap it around you to keep you warm,
And again you'll sip to ward off harm.

Then will you begin to burn and sweat
Reeling in my cosmic Tantric net. ;)

[iampunha]

Originally posted by xizor
No eyes, but one of my choices was in that general area of the body, only a little lower.

Geobabe, your poor, poor nose!