Smeghead
10-11-2001, 08:20 PM
I've been reading the Onion for a long, long time. Every now and then, I remember some article from like five years back, and go search for it, only to find it's gone. Like:
"NASA, NASCAR merge" - possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. It had everything. A big photoshopped picture of the Space Shuttle on a race track with decals all over it. Quotes like "I don't think it's far, because that thing can go like eleventeen billion miles an hour." A mention of a 47-hour pit stop. And, my personal favorite, a report of the solid rocket booster being ejected into the stands, killing several thousand spectators.
"Taco Bell introduces slightly rearranged combination of ingredients." Something about how this was different than that because the beans are now on top of the cheese instead of underneath it. Plus it's on a slightly more oblong tortilla.
And, of course, the one that got me hooked on the Onion in the first place. I forget the title, but it was an editorial about how great the author's balls were. No, I'm not thinking of the "Tell me now if you don't want to see my cock" article. In this one, he waxes eloquent about what a work of art his balls are. I specifically remember him describing how, once a week, he buffs them to a high gloss with carnuba wax.
Some of these, I know, are available in the books, but I wish they were still in the archives as well. Any others?
"NASA, NASCAR merge" - possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. It had everything. A big photoshopped picture of the Space Shuttle on a race track with decals all over it. Quotes like "I don't think it's far, because that thing can go like eleventeen billion miles an hour." A mention of a 47-hour pit stop. And, my personal favorite, a report of the solid rocket booster being ejected into the stands, killing several thousand spectators.
"Taco Bell introduces slightly rearranged combination of ingredients." Something about how this was different than that because the beans are now on top of the cheese instead of underneath it. Plus it's on a slightly more oblong tortilla.
And, of course, the one that got me hooked on the Onion in the first place. I forget the title, but it was an editorial about how great the author's balls were. No, I'm not thinking of the "Tell me now if you don't want to see my cock" article. In this one, he waxes eloquent about what a work of art his balls are. I specifically remember him describing how, once a week, he buffs them to a high gloss with carnuba wax.
Some of these, I know, are available in the books, but I wish they were still in the archives as well. Any others?