PDA

View Full Version : Gilligan + ? = Mr. Howell

bluecrayola
10-23-2001, 06:49 AM
You do the math...

KneadToKnow
10-23-2001, 07:15 AM
Okay. I'm assuming you want us to solve for ? and show our work.

Gilligan + ? = Mr. Howell
Gilligan + ? - Gilligan = Mr. Howell - Gilligan
? = Mr. Howell - Gilligan

How'd I do?

bluecrayola
10-23-2001, 08:04 AM
Basically, what TV character would you add to the equation so Gilligan is on par with Mr. Howell. There ya go...

Fiver
10-23-2001, 10:24 AM
On par how? As rich as Mr. Howell? As old as Mr. Howell? As happily married as Mr. Howell?

Your OP didn't make any sense and you haven't given us much help with your second post either.

bluecrayola
10-23-2001, 10:41 AM
You're looking at it too closely. Look at the big picture.

KneadToKnow
10-23-2001, 10:43 AM
You know, that stuff'll kill you if you smoke enough of it.

furryman
10-23-2001, 10:52 AM
Their all stereotypes. To try and equate one character with another or assume that one character is "better" than another is ridiculous.

furryman
10-23-2001, 10:55 AM
Of course there are some shows that do have annoying characters you wish they would get rid of.:)

Wesley...Urkel...Jar Jar Binks, ect.

xizor
10-23-2001, 10:58 AM
OK, I'll play:

Gilligan + George Burns = Mr. Howell ????

pezwookiee
10-23-2001, 11:24 AM
Gilligan + (Montgomery Burns/George Burns) x Mr. Magoo - Maynard Krebs = Mr. Howell

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
10-23-2001, 12:22 PM
Gilligan + The Imperious Leader Of The Cylon Empire = Mr. Howell

In addition,

Gilligan X Broccoli = Howard Cosell's Hair Gell

and,

Gilligan/Joe Isuzu = Yanni

It all makes as much sense as the OP. :D

eunoia
10-23-2001, 12:25 PM
? is obviously Rush Limbaugh.

whitetho
10-23-2001, 12:41 PM
Gilligan + 42 = Mr. Howell

is my best guess. I assume we can't use negative numbers.

Purd Werfect
10-23-2001, 12:46 PM
The closest I can come is Gilligan + Ginger = Restraining Order, but math has never been my strong suit.

slortar
10-23-2001, 01:16 PM
Actually, I think the original post was talking about the ineffable. It really was more of a religious statement.

Gatopescado
10-23-2001, 03:28 PM
this is the strangest shit i've read in a long time.

i have always wondered why the professor wasn't getting busy with ginger and mary anne.

as for the original question, i don't see any answers, personally........

Captain Amazing
10-23-2001, 04:18 PM
Gilligan +The Skipper=Mr.Howell

I have discovered a truly wonderful proof of
this proposition, but the margin is too small to contain it.

BPBob
10-24-2001, 01:56 PM
Hmmm...
(Gilligan + Skipper)/Ginger = Monkeyshines
Monkeyshines/Gin = Mr. Howell

Another possibility might be
Gilligan X George Jetson2 + Mr Spaceley
but that offends Occam's Razor

How about
Gilligan + 3 coconuts + fermented melon balls =Mai Tai
MaiTai + briefcase of money = Mr Howell

or maybe
Gilligan + (Batman/catwoman) = Mr. Howell
hmmm.... no, Batman over Catwoman equals the Hayes Commission...
Well, those are my best estimates! You'll get my bill in the mail.

jab1
10-24-2001, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by furryman
Their all stereotypes. To try and equate one character with another or assume that one character is "better" than another is ridiculous. What makes Gilligan a stereotype?

inertia
10-24-2001, 05:04 PM
Actually, the characters of the Gilligan's Island series represent the seven deadly sins.

Mr. Howell = Greed
The Skipper = Gluttony
Gilligan = Sloth
Ginger = Vanity
Maryann = Adultery
Professor = Wrath (yeah, it's a stretch)
Mrs. Howell = dumbassedness (what's the seventh sin?)

Sublight
10-24-2001, 05:44 PM
Originally posted by inertia
Actually, the characters of the Gilligan's Island series represent the seven deadly sins.

Mrs. Howell = dumbassedness (what's the seventh sin?)

Envy. You're right it works! Except for MaryAnn. Which episode was that from, and can you lend me a copy? :D

ultrafilter
10-24-2001, 06:14 PM
If the 7th deadly sin is envy, shouldn't Maryann be assigned that?

Otto
10-25-2001, 01:08 AM
The Seven Deadly Sins are: pride; covetousness; lust; anger; gluttony; envy; sloth.

I know that the Gilligan's Island=SDS has been done but I don't remember what the "official" correlation was. I'd put it at: Pride=Mrs. Howell; Covetousness=Mr. Howell; Lust=Ginger; Anger=Professor (by default, although I think Mary Ann could fit here too, except the Professor makes even less sense as envy); Gluttony=Skipper; Envy=Mary Ann; Sloth=Gilligan.

I vaguely recall seeing this done whereby Gilligan was actually God. Whatever.

leander
10-25-2001, 01:27 AM
Gilligan + Mr. Magoo = Mr. Howell

don't ask
10-25-2001, 01:46 AM
Gilligan over Mrs Howell = Mr Howell

pezwookiee
10-25-2001, 02:24 AM
It's about time Cafe Society had a Dadaist thread.

Clock radio.

scampering gremlin
10-25-2001, 02:32 AM
Gilligan x (George Jefferson - Fred Sanford) + Oliver Wendell Douglas = Mr. Howell

scampering gremlin
10-25-2001, 02:42 AM
sloth = Gilligan
gluttony = Skipper
lust = Ginger
envy = Mary Ann
greed = Mr. Howell
pride = Mrs. Howell
wrath = The Professor

Let's get our sins straight.

Personally I'd rather give both gluttony and wrath to the Skipper and leave the poor Professor alone.

jab1
10-25-2001, 04:17 PM
Yeah, the Skipper was always hitting poor Gilligan, so he can represent wrath. He was also overweight (which is odd, considering that he should have lost weight being marooned on a small island), so he can also represent gluttony.

As for the Professor, he nearly always had the answers. While he didn't provide food, he did know what was edible and what wasn't. While he didn't control the weather or volcanic eruptions, he was able to forecast them and knew what to do when they occurred. He also knew how to program a lost NASA robot and tap into a phone line and how to make lead clothing and makeup for protection from a radioactive meteorite.

But while he knew how to build a raft, he never did fix the hole in the [/i]Minnow[/i]. This means that the Professor worked in mysterious ways.

The Professor, therefore, was God (albeit a weak one).

SteverinoAlaReno
10-25-2001, 04:58 PM
Gilligan + Frasier Crane = Mr. Howell

Frasier is rich and pompous but a bit too acerbic to be Mr. Howell. But Gilligan's general ineptitude plus willingness to please would cancel out Frasier's misanthropic side, leaving a wealthy, somewhat snooty, but basically harmless old coot.

Freudian Slit
10-25-2001, 06:50 PM
My theory was:

Mr. Howell- Greed
Mrs. Howell- Pride (They even mention her pride in one episode)
Professor- Sloth (you know, an arm chair scientist, just sat around doing nothing)
Mary Anne- Envy (of Ginger)
Ginger- Lust
Gilligan- Gluttony (those coconut cream pies)
Skipper- Wrath (always kicking Gilligan's ass)

I made a thread about it once. One person replied. SIGH.

Cervaise
10-25-2001, 07:23 PM
I'm disappointed nobody has brought the Symbol font (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=90639) to bear in this quest for knowledge.

Oh, and Captain Amazing, you win the "funniest response" prize. :D

Dale The Bold
10-25-2001, 07:49 PM
If Zsa Zsa Gabor had a child with Gilligan, it would be a rich but goofy kid. That little boy would grow up to be a snob with a silly side, who would be dignified in ways, but still require a teddy bear by the time he reached adulthood. He would be too clumsy to actually do work, but it wouldn't matter because he's a snob so he would describe work as being "beneath" him.

The answer is clearly:

Gilligan + Zsa Zsa Gabor = Mr. Howell

Kyomara
10-25-2001, 09:37 PM
yo mama+yo daddy+yo greazy granny with the hole in her fanny=happiness and a frozen tropical cocktail

Miss Creant
10-25-2001, 10:23 PM
Originally posted by Kyomara
yo mama+yo daddy+yo greazy granny with the hole in her fanny=happiness and a frozen tropical cocktail

an a bag of chips