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-   -   Speak to me only in Science Fiction (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=725799)

Dendarii Dame 06-12-2014 09:28 AM

Speak to me only in Science Fiction
 
Okay, by now we all know how this type of thread works. You can use any science fiction source, novels, TV, short stories, movies, etc. Posts can be up to one paragraph long.


"You had a jumpship and you gave it away?"

buddha_david 06-12-2014 09:34 AM

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

carnivorousplant 06-12-2014 09:36 AM

Resistance is futile.

cmyk 06-12-2014 09:53 AM

Never tell me the odds.

campp 06-12-2014 09:57 AM

Travel the Stars in Peace.

cmyk 06-12-2014 10:17 AM

But leave in pieces!

Grrr! 06-12-2014 10:33 AM

Space Herpes!!

G0sp3l 06-12-2014 10:58 AM

Game over, man! Game over!

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-12-2014 11:18 AM

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Toucanna 06-12-2014 12:17 PM

No need to panic, my young friends. We all know there are no more living Cybermen. What you are seeing is a miracle. The 699th wonder of the Universe. As displayed before the Imperial court and only here to destroy you at chess. Careful now! An empty shell and yet it moves. How?

cmyk 06-12-2014 12:38 PM

"You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when..."
"Is this the test now?"
"Yes. You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a..."
"What one?"
"What?"
"What desert?"
"Doesn't make any difference what desert... it's completely hypothetical."
"But how come I'd be there?"
"Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself...who knows. So you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you..."
"A tortoise. What's that?"
"Know what a turtle is?"
"Of course."
"Same thing."
"I never seen a turtle."

Amateur Barbarian 06-12-2014 12:40 PM

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Whack-a-Mole 06-12-2014 01:00 PM

I knew it! I'm surrounded by Assholes!

Little Nemo 06-12-2014 01:17 PM

Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?

Satchmo 06-12-2014 02:01 PM

A zygote is a gamete’s way of producing more gamete’s. This may be the purpose of the universe.

Miller 06-12-2014 02:02 PM

What an amazing new smell you've discovered!

Frodo 06-12-2014 02:02 PM

"Ivan, one of these days somebody is going to pull out a weapon and plug you, and you're going to die in bewilderment, crying, 'What did I say? What did I say?'"

robert_columbia 06-12-2014 02:29 PM

"Sic transit mundus"

Toucanna 06-12-2014 02:39 PM

He's right. There isn't another way, there never was. Either I destroy my own people or let the universe burn.

wedgehed 06-12-2014 03:01 PM

Are you classified as human?

Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Amateur Barbarian 06-12-2014 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robert_columbia (Post 17457215)
"Sic transit mundus"

"Sic transit gloria mundi... Tuesday is usually worse."

Intergalactic Gladiator 06-12-2014 04:13 PM

"Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, BUT we're headed straight into their sun, and our engines are about to explode."
"I have not yet begun to fight. "
"Now would be a great time to start."

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-12-2014 04:20 PM

You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?

buddha_david 06-12-2014 05:11 PM

Remember, the enemy's gate is down.

Toucanna 06-12-2014 08:12 PM

Listen to me. Just listen. The Daleks have no conscience. No mercy. No pity. They are my oldest and deadliest enemy. You cannot trust them.

burpo the wonder mutt 06-12-2014 08:45 PM

Get away from her, you bitch!

Baker 06-12-2014 09:24 PM

I am Death Incarnate

burpo the wonder mutt 06-12-2014 09:30 PM

Kiss my shiny, metal @$$!

RealityChuck 06-12-2014 09:32 PM

It was not quite the kiss of a child.

buddha_david 06-12-2014 09:36 PM

I notice you're still working with polymers.

G0sp3l 06-12-2014 10:38 PM

I don't know such stuff. I just do eyes.

cmyk 06-13-2014 03:54 AM

Look around you—can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?!

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-13-2014 09:22 AM

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic!

Miller 06-13-2014 10:10 AM

Keep watching the skies!

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-13-2014 10:40 AM

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...

cmyk 06-13-2014 10:42 AM

It's... Time to die...

G0sp3l 06-13-2014 12:00 PM

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Dendarii Dame 06-13-2014 12:09 PM

And, incidentally, she's been doing this job since before I was born.

Intergalactic Gladiator 06-13-2014 12:40 PM

Well, uh, double dumb-ass on you!

buddha_david 06-13-2014 04:09 PM

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

G0sp3l 06-13-2014 04:20 PM

I created the Event Horizon to reach the stars, but she's gone much, much farther than that. She tore a hole in our universe, a gateway to another dimension. A dimension of pure chaos.

cmyk 06-13-2014 04:58 PM

And that's... That's chaos theory.

Dendarii Dame 06-13-2014 06:50 PM

There is no fact, extrapolation of fact, or theory, by which it could be possible.

buddha_david 06-13-2014 07:12 PM

I was especially interested in the section on Arroway's video unit. The one that recorded the static? The fact that it recorded static isn't what interests me. What interests me is that it recorded approximately eighteen hours of it.

Specklebang 06-13-2014 09:33 PM

Nyx sold her womb somewhere between Punjai and Faleen, on the edge of the desert.
Drunk, but no longer bleeding, she pushed into a smoky cantina just after dark and ordered a pinch of morphine and a whiskey chaser. She bet all of her money on a boxer named Jaks, and lost it two rounds later when Jaks hit the floor like an antique harem girl.

Kent Clark 06-13-2014 10:06 PM

It's a COOKBOOK!

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-13-2014 10:27 PM

“The waiter approached.
'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?'
'Huh?' said Ford.
'Huh?' said Arthur.
'Huh?' said Trillian.
'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.”

Andy L 06-13-2014 10:35 PM

He doesn't know which of us I am these days, but they know one truth.

Toucanna 06-13-2014 10:37 PM

You will never amount to anything in the galaxy while you retain your propensity for vulgar facetiousness.

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-13-2014 10:52 PM

I told you! You all say I'm paranoid, but it's true: no one ever frelling listens to me!


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