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-   -   Some things you should (or would) never ever Google (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=364771)

Kythereia 03-27-2006 10:04 PM

Some things you should (or would) never ever Google
 
This previous thread of mine got me thinking: what things should you never, ever, ever, in the whole of your entire existence, Google (or Image-Google?)

We'll take away the illegal stuff, like child porn, which is a given, and leave the stuff that's just too nasty / disturbing / freaky / terrifying / sad / etc. to find out about.

(Also please to disable any NSFW links, so as not to annoy our modlings. *crosses fingers*)

For me, it was when I found out--through the boards, but I can't remember the thread--about harlequin ichthyosis . I've never tried it, but I'm assured that image-Googling it would bring horrible nightmares.

malkavia 03-27-2006 10:06 PM

scat porn. Iiiiiiicky.

Hypno-Toad 03-27-2006 10:10 PM

Clown-themed art.

Scar-eeee.

Least Original User Name Ever 03-27-2006 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by malkavia
scat porn. Iiiiiiicky.


Ha. Funny story here. It was many moons ago and we had just got the internet at home. Dad and I were watching tv, and it was a quiet night. Suddenly, he chimes out with a "Um, you know..if you ever look online and see 'Japanese Scat Girls'...don't click on it. It's Japanese girls. And shit. And also VERY disgusting."

You know, not that dad haphazardly bumped into that or anything...

OtakuLoki 03-27-2006 10:37 PM

Live webcams of puppies. You'd never ever be able to stop watching. (nodnodnodnodnodnod)

OpalCat 03-27-2006 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kythereia
This previous thread of mine got me thinking: what things should you never, ever, ever, in the whole of your entire existence, Google (or Image-Google?)

We'll take away the illegal stuff, like child porn, which is a given, and leave the stuff that's just too nasty / disturbing / freaky / terrifying / sad / etc. to find out about.

(Also please to disable any NSFW links, so as not to annoy our modlings. *crosses fingers*)

For me, it was when I found out--through the boards, but I can't remember the thread--about harlequin ichthyosis . I've never tried it, but I'm assured that image-Googling it would bring horrible nightmares.

AAAH!!! WHY! WHY! WHY!!!! I Googled it. I wish I hadn't. :(

Least Original User Name Ever 03-27-2006 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OpalCat
AAAH!!! WHY! WHY! WHY!!!! I Googled it. I wish I hadn't. :(

Wow, that's something I've never heard of before. I'm not entirely sure what to say about it, so I should probably leave it alone. Suffice it to say that there are probably many medical conditions that entails having a deformed appearance. Are we sure that's what we're here for? I don't wanna be a killjoy or anything, I'm just making sure we're being accurate here.

Hilarity N. Suze 03-27-2006 11:11 PM

Do not google "bubble wrap."

Yes, there is an electronic bubble wrap. More than one. You click on them, they pop.....

The funny thing is when you google something that you know might be questionable and it's not. I decided I just had to know, really, what a lap dance was. The kind of thing guys can get at a strip joint. I figured I really needed to know and my husband claimed ignorance, so I googled it, with a certain amount of trepidation, and I got the cutest stuff, including a little cartoon of a guy and his cat. Go figure.

OpalCat 03-27-2006 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hilarity N. Suze
Do not google "bubble wrap."

Yes, there is an electronic bubble wrap. More than one. You click on them, they pop.....


Oh the irony... (unless this was intentional, in which case whoosh me)

Least Original User Name Ever 03-27-2006 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OpalCat
Oh the irony... (unless this was intentional, in which case whoosh me)


Nope nope nope nope. No whoosh around here. I've played with the virtual bubble wrap many times from bored.com.

It's not as fun as the real stuff, but in a pinch, it's not too bad.
It's like glass breaking sounds. They're rather nifty and cathartic in a way, but manufactured ones seem to lack something in the translation...even though it's still fun to hear glass break.

Sunspace 03-27-2006 11:36 PM

Do NOT image-google the Flesh-Eating Disease (necrotizing fasciitis, I think). Seriously. Don't.

WhyNot 03-27-2006 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Least Original User Name Ever
Nope nope nope nope. No whoosh around here. I've played with the virtual bubble wrap many times from bored.com.

It's not as fun as the real stuff, but in a pinch, it's not too bad.
It's like glass breaking sounds. They're rather nifty and cathartic in a way, but manufactured ones seem to lack something in the translation...even though it's still fun to hear glass break.

Heh. I think OpalCat's amusement can be explained by the copyright notice on the first bubblewrap link:
Quote:

All content 1996-2005 by OpalCat. No part of this site may be used without permission.
:D

Least Original User Name Ever 03-27-2006 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhyNot
Heh. I think OpalCat's amusement can be explained by the copyright notice on the first bubblewrap link:


:D



ahhhh...the whoosher becomes the whoshee...

..not that i had whooshed anyone, i just wanted to say that first sentence.

ZipperJJ 03-28-2006 12:43 AM

[your mom's name] + swinger

Cuz like..what if you get results?

*shudder*

Shai'tan 03-28-2006 03:08 AM

I absolutely, positively will not google another subject listed in this thread. I googled the first. Couldn't help it. I read the description in Wiki and thought, "sure, I'll take a peek..."

Disturbing doesn't even come close. And I've seen some weird crap...

Richard Pearse 03-28-2006 03:18 AM

There was a documentary on here recently about a couple who had given birth to a Harlequin girl. They were quite upset about it but decided to have another baby, who also turn out to be a Harlequin (the chances are one in four given that both parents have the gene.)

The girls were pretty cool. I think one of them as in her mid to late teens, and had started to wonder if she'd find a boyfriend :(.

Ins&Outs&What-have-yous 03-28-2006 05:06 AM

I would never image-search Google for "subincision" (or search any related text for that matter....I know more than I care to already)

DMark 03-28-2006 05:15 AM

Nude Pictures Of Bea Arthur

Madd Maxx 03-28-2006 07:20 AM

Once I was attempting to find out the approximate value of a pearl necklace my wife was interested in selling. So I go to Google and typed in "Pearl + Necklace" and was about to hit Search when it dawned on me that, Ya know this might not end up work safe. And since I was at work and all, I decided against it.

Richard Pearse 03-28-2006 08:18 AM

"Pearl strand" would probably have been a better google search Madd Maxx :).

BrightSmite 03-28-2006 08:40 AM

Don't google Computer Killer: Mega Virus Auto Launcher v2.1

dwc1970 03-28-2006 08:40 AM

"Tossed salad" may not yield the results you'd expect if you're only seaching for recipes. Since I am at work right now I won't attempt to confirm this.

Annie-Xmas 03-28-2006 08:47 AM

I understand that typing www.whitehouse.gov will get you to the government site. Typing it with ".com" will get you to a porn site.

I can't confirm this, cause I won't do it.

Monkey Chews 03-28-2006 09:12 AM

The first thing that jumped into my head when I saw the thread title was "Harlequin baby". Truly disturbing. I think I first found out about the condition here on the SD, when someone casually mentioned it in a thread, and I toddled off to do some research. Yeeesh. Sometimes, just occasionally, I could live without my ignorance being fought.

CalMeacham 03-28-2006 09:18 AM

"Harlequin ichthyosis" sounds like when your romance novel gets covered with white spots.

"Harlequin Baby" sounds like a freebie small romance novel they give away to get you hooked on them.


I'm not even close to right in either case, am I?


I don't think I want to see what they really are.

Monkey Chews 03-28-2006 09:22 AM

By the way, the wikpedia article on the condition is very interesting, and has some more info on the sisters mentioned by 1920s Style "Death Ray". (There is a photo of an adolescent boy with the condition, but it's not too disturbing compared to other photos that are out there.)

Cliffy 03-28-2006 10:34 AM

I was trying to find a picture online of a halberd, a medieval weapon that's basically an axe on a pike. If you ever want to do that, for heaven's sake don't misspell it "halbred."

--Cliffy

Beware of Doug 03-28-2006 10:54 AM

At least be good enough to tell us what a halbred is, so we aren't tempted to google it.

Me, I never google scary electron micrographs of bugs or anything like that.

The Weird One 03-28-2006 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beware of Doug
At least be good enough to tell us what a halbred is, so we aren't tempted to google it.

Hal bred? (work-safe, not scary)

mrklutz 03-28-2006 11:10 AM

What are intended to be innocent searches can return interesting results. A few years back, a friend and I were looking for an image of the leprechaun from Lucky Charms so we could swipe his hat and put it on Barney Gumbel for a beer label for our latest batch. So I googled "lucky charms" +"magically delicious".

We got thousands upon thousands of porn sites. Not a leprechaun listed.

brossa 03-28-2006 11:22 AM

My son has a toy moose that was made from a single piece of thick leather, cut and shaped over a mold and then stiffened to hold its shape. He enjoys this moose very much and I was curious as to whether there were other similar animals available to fill out a little menagerie for him.

Anyhoo, never search for 'leather bear'...

GingerOfTheNorth 03-28-2006 11:28 AM

"Hairy black tongue" is a side-effect from a medication I was on a couple of years ago. I wanted to find out what that was. It's not pretty. I thankfully did not get it.

It's sad that as soon as I post this, someone's going to google it.

AHunter3 03-28-2006 12:12 PM

Do not google casa marzu if you have at some point in your life eaten, expect to eat, enjoy eating on occasion, etc.

chaoticbear 03-28-2006 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brossa
Anyhoo, never search for 'leather bear'...

I don't see a problem with it. :p

Ethilrist 03-28-2006 12:23 PM

I would not do a Google search for sites leading to information on how to kill prominent leaders of North American republics.

I'm not even comfortable saying exactly what I wouldn't search for.

FlyingRamenMonster 03-28-2006 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cliffy
I was trying to find a picture online of a halberd, a medieval weapon that's basically an axe on a pike. If you ever want to do that, for heaven's sake don't misspell it "halbred."

GAAAAAAAAHHH!

shamrock227 03-28-2006 01:53 PM

I learned years ago when my friend was pregnant - never Google "Bambi" without "Disney" if you are looking for pictures of cartoon woodland creatures. :smack:

gotpasswords 03-28-2006 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brossa
Anyhoo, never search for 'leather bear'...

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaoticbear
I don't see a problem with it. :p

Neither do I.

I can confirm that whitehouse.com is a porn site. I can also confirm that if you mis-dial our Human Resources department and use 800- instead of 877- you will get a sex line.

Probably shouldn't google "how to waste lots of time at work" while at work.

Mouse_Maven 03-28-2006 02:22 PM

Many years ago, I was working with a group of engineering students on a unique project: we were designing a habitat for a captive tiger.

I thought it would be a good idea to look up any laws or regulations on the treatment of large cats. From that I learned never type "exotic cats + legal" into a search engine.

Quite a shock to my then 19-year-old mind. (and I was very naive)

jlzania 03-28-2006 03:19 PM

I raise a type of laying hens-Golden Sex Links to be precise.
Sometimes people want to read more about them on the internet.
I always warn them not to randomly google Golden Sex Links.

kimera 03-28-2006 03:22 PM

I'm not finding anything dirty/scary on a lot of these suggests. I notice that over time the porn websites get crowded out by regular sites. Back in the day, googling "homosexuality" used to get you porn sites, "Little Women" gave you child porn. Now proper websites have replaced the dirty ones.

Beware of Doug 03-28-2006 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AHunter3
Do not google casa marzu if you have at some point in your life eaten, expect to eat, enjoy eating on occasion, etc.

I'll spare them the shock: it's a Sardinian cheese that's allowed to become maggoty before serving.

Sardinians are cuckoo all right. A coastal people, they were invaded so often from the sea that they eventually just decided to pretend it wasn't there. No eating fish, no maritime trade, no nice beach vacations...nothing.

UntouchedTakeaway 03-28-2006 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madd Maxx
Once I was attempting to find out the approximate value of a pearl necklace my wife was interested in selling. So I go to Google and typed in "Pearl + Necklace" and was about to hit Search when it dawned on me that, Ya know this might not end up work safe. And since I was at work and all, I decided against it.


Never attempt to help the kindly grandmother who sits next to you at the office find an "XMen" costume for her grandson by typing in (not Googling) xmen.com

:eek:

Thank God the IT guys at the office are reasonable.

VCNJ~

Emilio Lizardo 03-28-2006 04:30 PM

I work in a physics teaching lab. One of the little devices we use to demonstarte a certain physical principle was manufactured in the 60's by the Gay Toy Company. Do not do a google search for "gay toys" from a work computer.

Alive At Both Ends 03-28-2006 05:32 PM

I recently discovered that my great-aunt died aged 4 in 1892 of "cancrum oris". Naive fool that I am, I Googled it. Don't do so yourself. At least, don't go to any site with pictures.

PapSett 03-28-2006 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilio Lizardo
I work in a physics teaching lab. One of the little devices we use to demonstarte a certain physical principle was manufactured in the 60's by the Gay Toy Company. Do not do a google search for "gay toys" from a work computer.


:D This made me laugh.

JimSox5 03-28-2006 07:37 PM

Searching Google-Image for "Cheeseburger" gave us interesting results at the newspaper office once.

Mrs Johnson 03-28-2006 07:39 PM

Don't google (images) herpes. :eek:

Richard Pearse 03-28-2006 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cliffy
I was trying to find a picture online of a halberd, a medieval weapon that's basically an axe on a pike. If you ever want to do that, for heaven's sake don't misspell it "halbred."

--Cliffy

I don't get it, the first couple of pages are all for various weapons, one or two for people with the surname "Halbred", and some game forums.

Mirror Image egamI rorriM 03-28-2006 09:00 PM

Well, I got an extremely overweight naked woman holding a halberd.

My contribution: "drilldo." It's pretty much what you'd expect, and yet so much worse.


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