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-   -   Donald Trump is Zaphod Beeblebrox! (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=794635)

The Great Sun Jester 06-02-2016 08:06 AM

Donald Trump is Zaphod Beeblebrox!
 
Work with me on this.

"I'll build a hyperspace bypass, and I'll make Earth pay for it!"

“One of the major difficulties Ivana experienced in her relationship with Donald was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.”

Two Many Cats 06-02-2016 09:07 AM

Omigod, you're frickin' right! Now he'll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate!

Prof. Pepperwinkle 06-02-2016 09:11 AM

That is just brilliant.

The Other Waldo Pepper 06-02-2016 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle (Post 19374439)
That is just brilliant.

"That is really amazing. That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it." - is it Trump, or is it Beeblebrox?

troub 06-02-2016 10:14 AM

"It is said that his birth was marked by earthquakes, tidal waves, tornadoes, firestorms, the explosion of three neighbouring stars, and, shortly afterwards, by the issuing of over six and three quarter million writs for damages from all of the major landowners in his Galactic sector.

However, the only person by whom this is said is Trump himself, and there are several possible theories to explain this."

beowulff 06-02-2016 12:29 PM

When asked why he is running for president, he responded:
Quote:

Well, it’s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it’s the fame and the money.

Slow Moving Vehicle 06-02-2016 02:14 PM

On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone describing The Donald as "the best bang since the big one."

Johnny Angel 06-02-2016 03:25 PM

There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold.

Elendil's Heir 06-02-2016 04:53 PM

He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?

Chimera 06-02-2016 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Angel (Post 19375527)
There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold.

If we happen to have a space ship laying around, even an old alien one that doesn't quite work right, I'd be all for encouraging him to steal it and fly off into space.

Robot Arm 06-02-2016 05:48 PM

We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to Republican primary voters, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.

Gorsnak 06-02-2016 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir (Post 19375790)
He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?

Exactly. I came in to post that Beeblebrox is at least 382% hoopier than Trump.

Goofus 06-02-2016 07:35 PM

I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.

Hail Ants 06-02-2016 07:44 PM

Look on the bright side, in his first debate with Hillary he may just respond with, "Talk a lot don't you..."

Why Child 06-02-2016 07:58 PM

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”


Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them.



:eek: :eek: Oh shit, I think you're right!!! :eek: :smack:

JRDelirious 06-02-2016 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir (Post 19375790)
He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?

Well, he's got a whole damn lot of towels but, like, they are not his personal towels.

foolsguinea 06-02-2016 09:00 PM

No, Guy Fleegman is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Miller 06-02-2016 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Two Many Cats (Post 19374429)
Omigod, you're frickin' right! Now he'll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate!

Nah, it'll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath. Except instead of his entire head, it's just his hair.

(And before anyone jumps my shit for mentioning the movie, if Trump is any Zaphod Beeblebrox, he's definitely the worst Zaphod Beeblebrox imaginable, so the movie reference is completely apropos.)

DinoR 06-02-2016 09:32 PM

Anyone know anywhere I can get a good Pan Galactic Gargleblaster on earth? I'll need some if he wins in November.

The Other Waldo Pepper 06-02-2016 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miller (Post 19376282)
Nah, it'll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath.

You jest, but that may mean we'll all owe him an apology for that John Miller stuff.

dropzone 06-02-2016 11:33 PM

Not to play the omniscient pop/real culture maven I am, but it took you people THIS LONG to make the connection? Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post. In those days there were giants on the board who could connect the slightest cultural minutiae to world events, and vice versa.

Many are still here, but most are too secure in their nerdom to point it out. I am not, but I am on a tablet and unwilling to cite chapter and verse demonstrating precisely how the comparison is patently obvious to the casual observer. :D

Lamia 06-02-2016 11:39 PM

Zaphod Beeblebrox would have much, MUCH better hair than Donald Trump.

JKellyMap 06-03-2016 04:27 AM

Funny thread.

I just want to mention that for me it's a coincidence that, on the same day, there's a new thread about Debrox, and a new thread about Zaphod Beeblebrox. As my wife can tell you, I call the earwax removal liquid "Zaphod Beeblebrox," every time I use it.

I guess because there are so few words that end in "-brox," I can't see one without thinking of the other.

CairoCarol 06-03-2016 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofus (Post 19376085)
I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.

Exactly. Trump wouldn't just be immune, he'd be the best immune. The most immune anyone has ever seen!

Face Intentionally Left Blank 06-03-2016 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofus (Post 19376085)
I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.

Well, he IS yuuuge, after all.

The Great Sun Jester 06-03-2016 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropzone (Post 19376498)
Not to play the omniscient pop/real culture maven I am, but it took you people THIS LONG to make the connection?

Internet Rule 67: Any original idea can already be found on the internet, and somebody has already been profiting from it.

Given that, we can either enjoy an observation and politely ignore it's already been done, or we can all just sit quietly in nihilistic recognition of the futility of thought. To be fair, out of kindness to you all I normally take the nihilist's path.

Intergalactic Gladiator 06-03-2016 10:25 AM

Great observation. Google turned up this for me: http://www.mattsweirld.com/donald-tr...al-candidates/

troub 06-03-2016 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropzone (Post 19376498)
...Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post.

Yup. This is precisely the decline of civilization that leads us to such dire circumstances as we see before us. We have met the enemy, and he is us.

beowulff 06-03-2016 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropzone (Post 19376498)
Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post.

Yeah, and they cost $15, too!

ftg 06-03-2016 05:43 PM

"Well, just who do you think you are, honey? Donald Trump or something?"

"Count the hairs."

"You are Donald Trump?"

"Yeah, but don't shout it out or they'll all want one."

"The Donald Trump?"

"No, just a Donald Trump, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"

"But sir, I heard you were dead."

"That's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet."

russian heel 06-04-2016 04:19 AM

Who said it? Zaphod . . . or Trump? GOOD LUCK!:D


"It is very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I am so good looking."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I ever meet myself, I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"The point is, you can never be too greedy."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"In the name of liberty, and freedom, and people, and... stuff... let's do that again! "

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Listen, you semi-evolved simian, go climb a tree, will you?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"Okay. So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox

Senegoid 06-06-2016 03:43 AM

Trump is, by virtue of all the things he says, the Infinite Improbability Imbecility Generator, the heart of the Drive propelling him across the vast void of the mindset of Republican voters, toward the White House.

I will be voting for the petunias, myself.

Smitty 06-06-2016 08:46 AM

Which makes Hillary the Vogon Captain:

Hillary: So what you're saying is, I want to be President because underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I just want to be loved?
Ford: [whispers] Yes, yes, yes.
Arthur: Yes, yes, yeah, please.
[other Democrats ooh-ing and aah-ing]
Hillary: Throw them off the ship!

ftg 06-06-2016 10:18 AM

Trump does sound a lot like Zaphod after he came out of the Total Perspective Vortex. Thinking the Universe was created just for him, etc.

But it was. Zaphod was in a simulated universe at the time so it was created for him.

OMG, we are living in a universe created just for Donald Trump.:eek:

I think I'm going to be sick.

HyacinthBucket 06-06-2016 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by russian heel (Post 19379618)
Who said it? Zaphod . . . or Trump? GOOD LUCK!:D


"It is very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I am so good looking."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I ever meet myself, I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"The point is, you can never be too greedy."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"In the name of liberty, and freedom, and people, and... stuff... let's do that again! "

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Listen, you semi-evolved simian, go climb a tree, will you?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"Okay. So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


I think you should write a quiz for Sporcle !!! :D

oft wears hats 06-06-2016 12:37 PM

If Trump gets elected, I can totally see him being a Zaphod Beeblebrox. Zaphod's whole job was to draw attention away from power, rather than actually wielding it. He made presidential broadcasts from the bath, Eccentrica Gallumbits' bedroom, or wherever else he happened to be at the time. I can see Trump doing the same thing, while his handlers tell him what to sign.

Of course, he could also just do whatever he wants and defy any control. Maybe we can build a decoy starship for Trump to steal to get rid of him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by foolsguinea (Post 19376261)
No, Guy Fleegman is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Mark Wing-Davey is the only Zaphod Beeblebrox, that other Guy is just a pretender.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamia (Post 19376509)
Zaphod Beeblebrox would have much, MUCH better hair than Donald Trump.

Two sets, even!

CaptMurdock 06-07-2016 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DinoR (Post 19376314)
Anyone know anywhere I can get a good Pan Galactic Gargleblaster on earth? I'll need some if he wins in November.

I don't think I'd bother with that. I'll cut to the chase and bash my head with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. :(

russian heel 06-08-2016 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HyacinthBucket (Post 19384193)
I think you should write a quiz for Sporcle !!! :D

I'll have my writing team get right on that. :)

Claverhouse 06-08-2016 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hail Ants (Post 19376109)
Look on the bright side, in his first debate with Hillary he may just respond with, "Talk a lot don't you..."


One of my favourite quotes of all time.



Along with "Smorl, isn't he ?" remarked by one of the birds living in a 15 mile high statue of Arthur, on seeing him in the flesh.



And talking of 15 mile high statues...

Paintcharge 06-08-2016 12:09 PM

When I first heard he was running I immediately thought of this quote:

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

lynne-42 06-08-2016 08:29 PM

Thank you, Dopers! I needed this lightening to my day. Brilliant.

Running with Scissors 06-09-2016 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle (Post 19375317)
On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone describing The Donald as "the best bang since the big one."

Actually...


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