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-   -   Books never written. (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=800534)

silenus 08-06-2016 02:00 PM

Books never written.
 
I was perusing past threads and ran into this one by Darth Nader, which got zero replies.

So let's try it again: What "teased but never written" books would you like to read? Personally, I want the missing chapters of Harry Flashman's memoirs, Scouting For Trolls and Raising Taxes by PTerry and yes, the one Darth mentioned.

You?

Annie-Xmas 08-06-2016 02:21 PM

True crime writer once said she'd like to write a book about the Stayner brothers -- Steven, who was kidnapped and held by pedophile Kenneth Parnell for seven years, and Cary, who was a serial killer. She never did.

Sattua 08-06-2016 02:23 PM

Mary Webb never hinted at it, but Precious Bane cries out for a sequel. I mean, so Kester rescued her from the ducking stool just as the townspeople were trying to drown her for a witch ... AND WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

Amateur Barbarian 08-06-2016 03:05 PM

ObMention: Dangerous Visions III.

RivkahChaya 08-06-2016 03:12 PM

I wanna read Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo.

Colibri 08-06-2016 03:58 PM

I would have liked to have read Sherlock Holmes' Case of the Giant Rat of Sumatra, "a story for which the world is not yet prepared." (Of course, there have been pastiches by other authors.)

Cardigan 08-06-2016 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RivkahChaya (Post 19534978)
I wanna read Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo.

Along similar lines, I'm eager to read Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying.

Damfino 08-06-2016 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silenus (Post 19534835)
I was perusing past threads and ran into this one by Darth Nader, which got zero replies.

So let's try it again: What "teased but never written" books would you like to read? Personally, I want the missing chapters of Harry Flashman's memoirs, Scouting For Trolls and Raising Taxes by PTerry and yes, the one Darth mentioned.

You?

You've got my list . I'd especially like to see how Flashman served on both sides during the American Civil War .

And the Holmes stories casually alluded to by Watson .

nearwildheaven 08-06-2016 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 19534871)
True crime writer once said she'd like to write a book about the Stayner brothers -- Steven, who was kidnapped and held by pedophile Kenneth Parnell for seven years, and Cary, who was a serial killer. She never did.

Was it Ann Rule?

There are books about the brothers, albeit separate stories.

I've seen things about the "10 Worst-Selling Books" and they all had titles like "Lose Weight Slowly By Eating Less And Exercising". :p

Between Rule 34 and Godwin's Law, I'm sure there's a book about everything, somewhere.

jtur88 08-06-2016 05:02 PM

Samuel Pepys expressed an intention to write a second diary about his later years, but didn't. He lived 34 more years.

jtur88 08-06-2016 05:08 PM

Everything that would have been written by Stieg Larsson, whose Millenium Trilogy was published posthumously after his death at age 50. I consider it to be the greatest literary work of his generation.

Trinopus 08-06-2016 05:14 PM

Alexei Panshin wrote the (wonderful!) "Anthony Villers Trilogy," three very thoughtful, very witty, and totally fun novels. At the end of the third book, there is a blurb for the upcoming fourth -- which, alas, Panshin never wrote.

nearwildheaven 08-06-2016 05:15 PM

John 21:25.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+21:25

(No, it's not a variation of Ezekiel 23:20, you goofballs! :p )

Amateur Barbarian 08-06-2016 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinopus (Post 19535194)
Alexei Panshin wrote the (wonderful!) "Anthony Villers Trilogy," three very thoughtful, very witty, and totally fun novels. At the end of the third book, there is a blurb for the upcoming fourth -- which, alas, Panshin never wrote.

Yes, instead he's spent forty years minutely rewriting, extending and justifying his peculiar writings about Heinlein.

bibliophage 08-06-2016 09:28 PM

Vulcan Love Slave.

Jim's Son 08-06-2016 09:36 PM

Christopher Moltisanti's autobiography "Ton', I'm Sorry"

Kropotkin 08-06-2016 09:39 PM

Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie

Amateur Barbarian 08-06-2016 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kropotkin (Post 19535630)
Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie

Sorry... it's on Amazon.

Mahaloth 08-06-2016 11:23 PM

Buttercup's Baby, the sequel to the Princess Bride.

nearwildheaven 08-06-2016 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtur88 (Post 19535176)
Everything that would have been written by Stieg Larsson, whose Millenium Trilogy was published posthumously after his death at age 50. I consider it to be the greatest literary work of his generation.

I won his first book, and gave up after about 15 pages. It just didn't make any sense to me.

jtur88 08-07-2016 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nearwildheaven (Post 19535780)
I won his first book, and gave up after about 15 pages. It just didn't make any sense to me.

That was just a prologue, to outline the politico-economic circumstances of the times relevant to the events, which presages the intellectual depth of the book. But if you found it boring and inconsequential, you probably wouldn't have appreciated the rest of the work, either, which is not intended to be a page-turner.. (Talking about Stieg Larsson's "Girl/Dragon Tattoo" here.) In fact, Larsson never intended for the novels to be offered to a publisher in the first place, he wrote it with no reader in mind, just to self-analyze and critique his own thoughts and style. The namuscripts were sent to a publisher after his death..

koeeoaddi 08-07-2016 11:15 AM

Joni Mitchell's autobiography.

quiltguy 08-07-2016 11:30 AM

I always thought God had another book in Him(let's call it the "Harper Lee Syndrome")

Surely He can tie up a few loose ends, be more specific about some events, and let us in on the parts where He was just messin' with our minds. It's the least He can do, since we kept His first attempt on the best sellers list all these years. ;)

Knowed Out 08-07-2016 03:43 PM

Flashman in the Civil War

The finish to Douglas Adams' The Salmon of Doubt

Sangahyando 08-07-2016 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damfino (Post 19535111)
I'd especially like to see how Flashman served on both sides during the American Civil War .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knowed Out (Post 19536710)
Flashman in the Civil War

Repeating the substance of a post by me in the Cafe Society thread of a few months back, Aw, heck: I bounced off "Flashman" by George MacDonald Fraser: it would appear, from comments by Fraser in an interview with him in 2002, that he never in fact planned to write a Flashman / Civil War novel. He is quoted as saying: "to me, the American Civil War is a colossal bore. It was a rotten war, it's been done to death, and I'm not terribly interested in it. An American wrote to me urging me to write it, saying it had to be the high point in Flashman's career. I wrote back saying, 'Son, it's a foreign sideshow. The Crimea, the Indian Mutiny, they were the important things in Flashman's life. Your Civil War? He was so disinterested that he fought on both sides.' "

(While Fraser's American correspondent could perhaps have made his point in a more tactful way; Fraser's quoted words, both vis-a-vis the American and his readers as a whole, have made me hold him in less high regard than formerly, as a person -- regardless of his talent as an author. Frankly, I feel they leave a bit of a nasty taste: as though Fraser were relishing having, for years, tantalised and strung-along his fans with "in-passing" references to what sound like chequered and fascinating Civil War doings on Flashman's part -- when he never had any intention actually of writing a novel about his anti-hero and that conflict.)

buddha_david 08-07-2016 04:46 PM

Book 5 of the War Against the Chtorr series.

Book 6 of the A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Ronnie James Dio was working on his autobiography during his final years, he was halfway through the Black Sabbath era when he died. His wife Wendy promised to finish the book and publish it, but there's been no news of any progress for years. It seems to be in permanent limbo.

CalMeacham 08-07-2016 04:58 PM

As I mention in the Acknowledgments to my first book, three authors I consulted -- Jerome Y. Lettvin, Thalia Phyllies (Feldman) Howe and Emily Erwin Culpepper all said that they were going to write books on the Gorgon. They never did. It'd be interesting to see what they would have done, given the greater space a book would have given them.



There are a few books that were never finished by the original authors. In some cases, others finished the book. But it would've been interesting to see the author's actual conclusions:

Hornblower and the Crisis by C.S. Forester. The part he wrote has been published, along with a brief note on how he'd end it. But it'd be interesting to see if he would have put in a twist like the one suggested by C. Northcote Parkinson in his Biography of Horatio Hornblower

The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Charles Dickens. I [u]hate[/I] it when they don't get to complete a mystery

Almuric by Robert E. Howard. I didn't know for years that Howard never finished it, and that the complete novel we have was finished by someone else.

The Man with the Golden Gun by Ian Fleming. He finished it, but he never went through and finished revising and polishing it, and it shows. He might even have given it a more satisfying ending.

The Barsac Mission by Jules Verne. The version we have now is virtually the work of his son, Michel Verne. It would be interesting to see what the older Verne would have made of that incomplete novel.

Tom Sawyer Among the Indians -- Mark Twain's manuscript breaks off in the middle of a sentence. Some critics think he didn't finish it because he didn't like where it was going, and Twain was known for burning manuscripts he wasn't happy with. But he might have been able to salvage this.

Variable Star by Robert Heinlein. Much as I like Spider Robinson's work, his completion of this novel feels much more like his work than Heinlein's.

Tarzan -- the Lost Adventure -- completed by Joe Lansdale. as others have pointed out, he ignored clear signs of where Burroughs was going with the plot. I guarantee that he wouldn't have ended it with a karate match with a giant praying mantis.

Eonwe 08-07-2016 06:24 PM

Reminds me of Dream's Library from Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

Trinopus 08-07-2016 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mahaloth (Post 19535774)
Buttercup's Baby, the sequel to the Princess Bride.

FWIW, we did get "The Silent Gondoliers." (Quite mediocre, alas.)

Tim R. Mortiss 08-07-2016 07:09 PM

I suppose it goes without saying that the Necronomicon would top the list.

digs 08-07-2016 07:24 PM

I've said this before here, but the audiobook versions of Fear Nothing and its sequel Seize The Night are THE best pairings of protagonist and narrator. Christopher Snow has a genetic condition where he can't go out in daylight, so of course he and his dog explore his town by night, and strangeness ensues.

Well, Keith Szarabajka has the perfect smokey voice for the troubled-yet-optomistic outcast. And does his surfer compatriot and girlfriend well, too.

Anyhow, Dean Koontz continually claims he's working on "the third book of the Moonlight Bay trilogy". For the last 18 years...

My god, there's even a Wikipedia page for it. "Ride the Storm", Dean... soon, please.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor 08-07-2016 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiltguy (Post 19536339)
I always thought God had another book in Him(let's call it the "Harper Lee Syndrome")

Surely He can tie up a few loose ends, be more specific about some events, and let us in on the parts where He was just messin' with our minds. It's the least He can do, since we kept His first attempt on the best sellers list all these years. ;)

Book Of Mormon...?

:p

Mahaloth 08-07-2016 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiltguy (Post 19536339)
I always thought God had another book in Him(let's call it the "Harper Lee Syndrome")

Surely He can tie up a few loose ends, be more specific about some events, and let us in on the parts where He was just messin' with our minds. It's the least He can do, since we kept His first attempt on the best sellers list all these years. ;)

The Bible is basically 66 books anyway, which isn't bad for output.

Scribble 08-07-2016 08:41 PM

I want to read Time Hump. I'm also curious about The Omega Glory and the works of Kilgore Trout.

Trinopus 08-07-2016 09:25 PM

There was one Kilgore Trout novel, "Venus on the Half Shell."

Vaguely amusing, but far from memorable; it didn't even really succeed as parody.

RivkahChaya 08-07-2016 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cardigan (Post 19535083)
Along similar lines, I'm eager to read Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying.

Oh, me too. Even more that the one about Stu the Cockatoo.

BTW, here's what a quantity surveyor does. It's hilarious to think that someone wrote a children's book about it.

Wiki has a list of fictional books. Mainly books mentioned in other books.

digs 08-08-2016 12:23 AM

So glad to see Ethel get mentioned!

I've been known to make slipcovers for books, with fictional titles. I've been reading a Phillip Pullman book in the local coffee joint, and I'm a little disappointed that no one's noticed that I appear to be studying "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying".

Previously, I've been seen in various cafés reading "The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra", "How I Rose From the Dead in My Spare Time and So Can You" (Phillip K. Dick), "Prognosis: Negative!" (the novelization of a movie mentioned on Seinfeld), "When Real Things Happen to Imaginary People" and "The 'Buggre Alle Thys' Bible" (Gaiman/Pratchett), and "Men, Monks, and Gamekeepers: a Study in Popular Legend" (last seen on Mr. Tumnus's bookshelf).

My goal is to have an entire bookcase of books that make visitors pause and go "Wait a minute..."

Still in the works: "Fowl or Foul?: A Handbook of Hippogriff Psychology", "Growing Flowers by Candlelight in Hotel Rooms" (from a Brautigan book), "The Philosophy of the Mundane: Why the Muggles Prefer Not to Know" (allegedly by Professor Mordicus Egg), "Commander Coriander Salamander and 'er Singlehander Bellylander" (follow-up to "Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie") and "The Six Bunny-Wunnies and Their Layover in Anderson, Indiana" (one of Snoopy's favorites).

The fact that no one besides me seems to care is a part of my master plan that I didn't count on.

drewder 08-08-2016 12:35 AM

My favorite Sci-fi writer, Rick Cook, He wrote a series of books were a computer programmer was transported to a world of magic where he discovered that by creating a magic programming language he could control magic in a way the natives of the world never could.

He had a heart attack after writing the 5th book which he claims created a change in him which prevented him from continuing to write fiction. Parts of the 6th book have been released but it seems unlikely that it'll ever be completed.

Colibri 08-08-2016 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knowed Out (Post 19536710)
Flashman in the Civil War

I would have liked to see that too. Other disastrous episodes hinted at in his biography that I would have liked to have seen was his service in the Zulu Wars (there is only a brief mention in one of the books), with Emperor Maximilian of Mexico, and during the Boxer Rebellion in China.

Isamu 08-08-2016 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19536829)
The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Charles Dickens. I [u]hate[/I] it when they don't get to complete a mystery

I highly recommend "Drood" by Dan Simmons.

Trinopus 08-08-2016 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digs (Post 19537500)
. . . I've been known to make slipcovers for books, with fictional titles. . . .

Grin! I do this too! Among my titles are "How to Throw Your Voice" and "How To Get Your Voice Back." I also dolled one up to be the cover of "Induction of Psycho-Neuroses by Conditioned Reflex under Stress" -- the "IPCRESS" of the movie "The Ipcress File" -- reproducing the book as seen briefly in the movie.

Also the classic Richard IV by Shakespeare.

Sangahyando 08-08-2016 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knowed Out (Post 19536710)
Flashman in the Civil War

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colibri (Post 19537536)
I would have liked to see that too. Other disastrous episodes hinted at in his biography that I would have liked to have seen was his service in the Zulu Wars (there is only a brief mention in one of the books), with Emperor Maximilian of Mexico, and during the Boxer Rebellion in China.

I’d certainly have enjoyed an account in detail, of Flashman’s doings in the Boxer Rebellion. He’d have been aged nearly eighty then – one assumes, his swan-song as regards taking part in direct military action; unless shortly thereafter, he found himself involved in the tail-end of the Boer War?

Something I greatly liked in Fraser’s Mr. American (which novel I mostly find rather lame) -- occurs at the beginning of World War I. There’s a vignette of Flashman -- the year before his death, at a very great age; still mentally very sharp, and as cynical as ever -- imparting to the hero, his opinion that the best thing for the Belgians to do in the circumstances, would be to accede to the Germans’ demand, and let them march through their country in the course of invading France. The Germans would be there for a while, and make life somewhat unpleasant; but in the end, having achieved their objective, they’d clear out, and things could go back to normal.

don't ask 08-08-2016 08:20 AM

I posted:

The collected works of Marshall France; Pool of Stars, Green Dog's Sorrow, and particularly Land of Laughs as mentioned in Jonathan Carrol's Land of Laughs.

"The Land of Laughs was lit by eyes that saw the lights that no one's seen."

in the earlier thread:

Help me stock the ultimate (fictional) library

Annie-Xmas 08-08-2016 09:19 AM

Ed McBain who was working on a set of mysteries with alphabetic one word titles (Ax, Bread, Calypso, Doll, Fuzz, Guns, Heat, Ice, Jigsaw, Kiss, Lightning, Mischief, Nocturne, Romance, Shotgun, Tricks, Vespers, Widows ) planned to finish the series, with the last book being his last EXIT.

He died before doing it.

Frank 08-08-2016 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas (Post 19537897)
Ed McBain who was working on a set of mysteries with alphabetic one word titles (Ax, Bread, Calypso, Doll, Fuzz, Guns, Heat, Ice, Jigsaw, Kiss, Lightning, Mischief, Nocturne, Romance, Shotgun, Tricks, Vespers, Widows ) planned to finish the series, with the last book being his last EXIT.

He died before doing it.

These are all part of his 87th Precinct series, which also included many titles of more than one word.

digs 08-08-2016 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinopus (Post 19537603)
Grin! I do this too! Among my titles are "How to Throw Your Voice" and "How To Get Your Voice Back." I also dolled one up to be the cover of "Induction of Psycho-Neuroses by Conditioned Reflex under Stress" -- the "IPCRESS" of the movie "The Ipcress File" -- reproducing the book as seen briefly in the movie.

Also the classic Richard IV by Shakespeare.

[Applause]

How fun! If you ever market your creations, do include a link here! (Hey, The Onion markets fake boxes for Xmas gift-giving. This'd have year-round application).

Corner Case 08-08-2016 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19536829)
The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Charles Dickens. I [u]hate[/I] it when they don't get to complete a mystery

Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead

DOCTOR: Right then, Charlie boy, I've just got to go into my, er, shed. Won't be long.
ROSE: What are you going to do now?
DICKENS: I shall take the mail coach back to London, quite literally post-haste. This is no time for me to be on my own. I shall spend Christmas with my family and make amends to them. After all I've learned tonight, there can be nothing more vital.
DOCTOR: You've cheered up.
DICKENS: Exceedingly! This morning, I thought I knew everything in the world. Now I know I've just started. All these huge and wonderful notions, Doctor. I'm inspired. I must write about them.
ROSE: Do you think that's wise?
DICKENS: I shall be subtle at first. The Mystery of Edwin Drood still lacks an ending. Perhaps the killer was not the boy's uncle. Perhaps he was not of this Earth. The Mystery of Edwin Drood and the Blue Elementals. I can spread the word, tell the truth.
DOCTOR: Good luck with it. Nice to meet you. Fantastic.
ROSE: Bye, then, and thanks.

Boyo Jim 08-08-2016 04:29 PM

John Kennedy Toole's sequel to A Confederacy of Dunces. It was clearly written with a sequel in mind, but Kennedy killed himself before writing one.

Boyo Jim 08-08-2016 04:31 PM

Also, the book that I may never finish writing -- Thou Shalt Not: The Slacker Bible

MacLir 08-08-2016 07:26 PM

Louis L'Amour intended to write books in his "Sackett" series bridging times in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars but did not before his death. :(


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