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-   -   Clowns in woods try to lure children with money, residents say (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=803228)

davidm 08-31-2016 09:27 AM

Clowns in woods try to lure children with money, residents say
 
This is weird. It's probably some kind of mass hysteria, but it may lead to some innocent person or persons being shot.
http://www.wyff4.com/news/Clowns-in-...s-say/41418260
Quote:

Residents of a Greenville County apartment complex say clowns have tried to lure their children into the woods with large amounts of money, and deputies have released the report Monday in connection to the claims.
...
The deputy said other children told him that several clowns appeared in the woods and tried entice them into the woods by showing them large amounts of cash. The children said they think the clowns live in a house near a pond at the end of a trail in the woods.

The deputy walked the trail to a house near a pond in the woods behind the apartment. The deputy said there were no signs of suspicious activity and found no one dressed as a clown.

The deputy said he investigated a report of gunfire the night before, and learned that men from the apartment complex, who were aware of the complaints about clowns, fired weapons in the direction of the wooded area after they heard noises.
At least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.

I find the reports of guns being fired at noises in the woods scarier than any supposed clowns.

G0sp3l 08-31-2016 09:56 AM

They all float down here.

Czarcasm 08-31-2016 10:09 AM

Photographic evidence!

bump 08-31-2016 10:16 AM

My guess is that this is probably dumb-ass teenagers screwing with people.

Plus, kids are dumb. When I was a kid, there was a drainage ditch near our elementary school, with an old (1940s-1950s era) trestle bridge that a local farmer had used for livestock prior to the development of that area. It was made of creosote-treated timber, so it was black, and it was old, so it was kind of warped and scary looking. And I think someone had set part of it afire at some point in the past.

We children were CONVINCED that "devil-worshippers" had ceremonies near the bridge at midnight. Never mind that the bridge itself was like 100 yards from the school, and probably 300 yards from a suburban neighborhood. If anything happened, it was probably dumb-ass teenagers smoking weed by there, and screwing around and maybe setting stuff on fire for kicks.

But all it would have taken would have been a comment to someone's parents about the devil-worshippers in the early 1980s, and it would have been a Big Deal with equal breathless panic on the news.

davidm 08-31-2016 10:16 AM

Now I'm thinking that people may really be seeing what they're reporting. This seems to be a thing. There are a bunch of Youtube videos of killer clown pranks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZmFBFfh4Vw

I can't help but laugh at some of them, but it's totally wrong and stupid. People could easily get hurt or killed; either the "victims" while running away or the perpetrators when someone decides to defend themselves.

carnivorousplant 08-31-2016 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19595641)
I can't help but laugh at some of them, but it's totally wrong and stupid. People could easily get hurt or killed; either the "victims" while running away or the perpetrators when someone decides to defend themselves.

A clown could get shot in some places.

running coach 08-31-2016 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 19595704)
A clown could get shot in some places.

Shoot 'em in the funny bone. It's their Achilles's heel.

iiandyiiii 08-31-2016 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant (Post 19595704)
A clown could get shot in some places.

Killing a clown outside of clown season can result in a $500 fine and up to 30 days in the county jail.

carnivorousplant 08-31-2016 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by running coach (Post 19595735)
Shoot 'em in the funny bone. It's their Achilles's heel.

That's why they wear those big shoes!

kunilou 08-31-2016 11:46 AM

Well, there was this guy.

And they've been spotted in Indiana.

And in the wilds of Brooklyn.

Even once in Vancouver.

As a matter of fact, I'm starting to think that the best place to look for a clown is behind a tree.

Guinastasia 08-31-2016 12:00 PM

Just hope it's not this guy.

Dallas Jones 08-31-2016 12:03 PM

This looks like a job for the Insane Clown Posse!!! Round them up!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insane_Clown_Posse

Guinastasia 08-31-2016 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas Jones (Post 19595957)
This looks like a job for the Insane Clown Posse!!! Round them up!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insane_Clown_Posse

Fuck, I'd take Pennywise over those losers anyday.

Biotop 08-31-2016 12:23 PM

Police were looking for several clowns supposedly spotted in the area yesterday, but the only vehicle they saw nearby was a extra-small compact speeding away, and all those clowns couldn't have been in that one car.

MrDibble 08-31-2016 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19595508)
it may lead to some innocent person or persons being shot.

There are no innocent clowns.

carnivorousplant 08-31-2016 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDibble (Post 19596018)
There are no innocent clowns.


-Dashiell Hammett

davidm 08-31-2016 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDibble (Post 19596018)
There are no innocent clowns.

Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.

Dewey Finn 08-31-2016 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19595508)
t least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.

This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?

davidm 08-31-2016 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn (Post 19596476)
This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?

I have no idea. The article doesn't say.

Dewey Finn 08-31-2016 02:54 PM

The obvious answer is that she was walking home after last call at the local bar. So the question is how sober was she.

carnivorousplant 08-31-2016 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn (Post 19596476)
This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?

More importantly, what color was the blinking nose?

Doctor Jackson 08-31-2016 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19595508)
At least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.

Pfft. That was just Rudolph out on a training run.

Encinitas 08-31-2016 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn (Post 19596476)
This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?

The clown store of course.

Skywatcher 08-31-2016 03:00 PM

Anyone seen The Chiodo Brothers recently?

WildBlueYonder 08-31-2016 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Czarcasm (Post 19595620)


I've been seeing that scary clown for decades. I tried to keep my son from it all of his young life, once he turned 40 he finally understood and never see's the clown at all now.

Biotop 08-31-2016 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19596423)
Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.

It's ok. Those guns just made a popping sound and a little white banner with the word "BANG!" sprung out.

MrDibble 08-31-2016 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19596423)
Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.

If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...

running coach 08-31-2016 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDibble (Post 19596633)
If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...

Mimes wouldn't be making noise.

Wolf333 08-31-2016 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by running coach (Post 19596648)
Mimes wouldn't be making noise.



Unless they were terrible.

Just Asking Questions 08-31-2016 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDibble (Post 19596018)
There are no innocent clowns.

A clown killed my father.

TroutMan 08-31-2016 04:01 PM

I won't believe the kids until they thrust their fists against the gowns and still insist they see the clowns.

Biotop 08-31-2016 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by running coach (Post 19596648)
Mimes wouldn't be making noise.

And should not get shot at.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

Leo Krupe 08-31-2016 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Asking Questions (Post 19596680)
A clown killed my father.

A clown ate my dingo.

CairoCarol 08-31-2016 05:30 PM

They need to find Cathy. She's the ringleader.

74westy 08-31-2016 05:41 PM

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?

garygnu 08-31-2016 05:44 PM

The remake of It isn't coming to theaters for more than a year. If it's an attempt at viral marketing it's a poor one.

Biotop 08-31-2016 11:38 PM

Clowns got cash?

MrDibble 09-01-2016 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf333 (Post 19596655)
Unless they were terrible.

I'm glad someone got it :)

Leaper 09-01-2016 04:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G0sp3l (Post 19595586)
They all float down here.

Why do you think his name is Pennywise?

cochrane 09-01-2016 06:52 AM

I hear four kids in a van with a large dog are on the case. They'll get to the bottom of it soon.

JKellyMap 09-01-2016 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidm (Post 19595508)

I find the reports of guns being fired at noises in the woods scarier than any supposed clowns.

It's okay -- if they kill a clown, you won't have to see any footage of it -- Jerry Lewis will make sure it's suppressed.

Jackmannii 09-01-2016 07:17 AM

Ringmaster shouts let the show begin
Send in the clowns, then let them do you in
See a rubber nose on a painted face
Bringing genocide to the human race

TruCelt 09-01-2016 07:29 AM

Isn't there some new scary clown movie coming out? Could all this be a publicity stunt?

Biotop 09-01-2016 09:28 AM

Maybe they are (gasp) illegal immigrant clowns. There's your scary movie: The Bozos from Brazil.

carnivorousplant 09-01-2016 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biotop (Post 19598173)
Maybe they are (gasp) illegal immigrant clowns. There's your scary movie: The Bozos from Brazil.

I dunno. Who has hair like that? :dubious:

Just Asking Questions 09-01-2016 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruCelt (Post 19597932)
Isn't there some new scary clown movie coming out? Could all this be a publicity stunt?

Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?

carnivorousplant 09-01-2016 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Asking Questions (Post 19598223)
Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?

Is a remake or a sequel?

Count Blucher 09-01-2016 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biotop (Post 19596727)
And should not get shot at.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.



That's a 'Bozo No-No'...?

Skywatcher 09-01-2016 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Asking Questions (Post 19598223)
Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?

See post 24. :)

G0sp3l 09-01-2016 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leaper (Post 19597769)
Why do you think his name is Pennywise?

cuz Poundfoolish is a silly name for a clown.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDibble (Post 19596633)
If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...

Do non-terrible mimes exist?


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