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Jennshark 11-05-2016 01:33 PM

Your "Wonderfully Bad" Movie List
 
I thought I had watched all the "so bad it's good flicks" on earth, but I missed a doozy I saw on TCM this morning: The Silver Chalice, featuring an awful Paul Newman as a slave-sculptor, Jack Palance as a campy magician in a sperm-printed leotard, and Virginia Mayo as a first century Las Vegas showgirl/Vulcan chick in radical blue eyeshadow.

What are your less commonly cited cheezy flicks? I'd like to hear about movies outside of the usual "badness" category (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Barbarella, et al).

Skywatcher 11-05-2016 01:47 PM

Scavenger Hunt

Gridlock (aka The Great American Traffic Jam)

CalMeacham 11-05-2016 04:10 PM

I've been showing these for years at parties

The Classics:

Plan Nine from Outer Space

Robot Monster




Compilations:

It Came from Hollywood

(Zacherle's) Horrible Borror





Just Bad Films, but entertainingly awful

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors

The Giant Claw

Doc Savage: Man of Bronze

Deadly Friend

Birdemic

Terror in the Tropics

The Forbidden Zone*

Invaders from Mars**

Battlefield Earth

10,000 B.C.

Zontar, The Thing from Venus***

Creature of Destruction ***

Invasion of the Eye Creatures***

Beginning of the End

Star Crystal****




And, of course:


The Star Wars Holiday Special


* You may actually think this is good. It's certainly weird, and creative. But I find it incredibly racist. I tried showing it at one of my Bad Film Festivals, and my wife asked for it to be turned off during the opening credits\, but she was voted down. Everyone else agreed with her five minutes into the movie

** THis film is considered a classic, and I'll give it props for direction and set design. But it's irredeemably dumb. When I watched it at an Art Cinema (the kind where people get dressed up, and they don't sell refreshments, because they don't want the carpeted floors to get sticky), the audience started booing and yelling dereisive comments at the screen.

***These films are so bottom-of-the-barrel that they are actually lower-budget remakes of films that were already poverty-row original films. These are even lower in quality and in acting.

****One of the innumerable retreads of Alien that came out after 1979. This one has a unique twist, but an awful one -- they stop the creature by


SPOILER:
converting it to Christianity. No joke.

DrDeth 11-05-2016 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennshark (Post 19754553)
I thought I had watched all the "so bad it's good flicks" on earth, but I missed a doozy I saw on TCM this morning: The Silver Chalice, featuring an awful Paul Newman as a slave-sculptor, Jack Palance as a campy magician in a sperm-printed leotard, and Virginia Mayo as a first century Las Vegas showgirl/Vulcan chick in radical blue eyeshadow..

Thomas B. Costain, who wrote that book, wrote a great series on the History of England.

I own Doc Savage: Man of Bronze, because i used to love the books. CalMeacham: "You're a brick. ":p

panache45 11-05-2016 04:21 PM

My favorite is Cobra Woman, in which Maria Montez virtually has sex with a king cobra.

Then there's Sins of the Fleshapoids, directed by Mike Kuchar, about future androids who are revolting (in both senses of the term).

Llama Llogophile 11-05-2016 05:44 PM

The all-time winner has to be Manos: The Hands of Fate. The MST3K episode with it is priceless.

But that's too easy. Here's an obscure one: Zardoz. it features Sean Connery wearing a red diaper with suspenders, if you're into that sort of thing (somebody somewhere probably is...), and a plot that defied my ability and / or desire to follow. But the speech by the flying statue in the beginning made me bust out laughing immediately:

SPOILER:
THE PENIS IS EVIL!!!

CalMeacham 11-05-2016 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Llama Llogophile (Post 19755051)
The all-time winner has to be Manos: The Hands of Fate. The MST3K episode with it is priceless.

But that's too easy. Here's an obscure one: Zardoz. it features Sean Connery wearing a red diaper with suspenders, if you're into that sort of thing (somebody somewhere probably is...), and a plot that defied my ability and / or desire to follow. But the speech by the flying statue in the beginning made me bust out laughing immediately:

SPOILER:
THE PENIS IS EVIL!!!

Zardoz obscure? Heck, it was a major release when it came out.


I've shown Zardoz at my Bad Film Festivals. (I preceded it with a clip from the MST3K episode of "OPeration Kid Brother", the film starring Connery's younger sibling. At the end of one of the Satellite of Love routines, ostensibly tracing the younger Connery's movie career, Crow says "Well, at least he wasn't in Zardoz!")

It's fun to watch, especially to see where the name comes from.




You don't do the litany stated by The Giant Flying Head justice:


SPOILER:
[the gigantic Stone Head hovers before the worshipful horde of Exterminators]

Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.

Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!

Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!

Exterminators: The Gun is good!

Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.


Go forth, and kill!

Zardoz has spoken.



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948/quotes

Exapno Mapcase 11-05-2016 06:43 PM

Let's dig deeper. First rule: It's gotta have a great title. How about:

Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.

Nude on the Moon.

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak.

Baker 11-05-2016 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skywatcher (Post 19754594)
Gridlock (aka The Great American Traffic Jam)

I watched that one, actually thought it was fun, if VERY corny. With all those folks caught on the freeway, it was hilarious when the helicopters came over the ridge hauling portable toilets, all to the music of "Ride of the Valkyries" Cheesy parody scenes galore in that flick!:D

Cannibal Women
, from the previous post, is one of the funniest films I ever saw, or at least laughed at.

CalMeacham 11-05-2016 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exapno Mapcase (Post 19755167)

I don't know -- these movies were clearly trying to be campy. I think you get extra points if the filmmakers were really convinced they were making something good.

Mind you, I enjoyed all these movies you listed, but they lack the sincerity and therefore the unintentional humor of Plan Nine or Robot Monster.

kopek 11-05-2016 08:31 PM

There are thousands but my current favorites are
Dinosaurus! (1960)
Caveman with Ringo Starr and for that matter
The Magic Christian with Ringo Starr
Pelts with Meatloaf
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms
Reptilicus
Cabin Boy

And the list goes on.

E-DUB 11-05-2016 08:51 PM

The brain that wouldn't die.

The brain from planet Arous.

Fiend without a face.

Sensing a theme here?

galen ubal 11-05-2016 08:56 PM

General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.

FLASH!! aH-AAAAAH!

I find most of the "so bad they're good" movies to be just bad. But this one...

Skywatcher 11-05-2016 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by E-DUB (Post 19755385)
The brain that wouldn't die.

The brain from planet Arous.

Fiend without a face.

Sensing a theme here?

No The Man with Two Brains? Or The Man with the Screaming Brain?
:D

XaMcQ 11-05-2016 10:03 PM

Star Crash

Christopher Plummer and a young David Hasselhoff play supporting roles in this fantastically bad rip off of Star Wars.

Exapno Mapcase 11-05-2016 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19755336)
I don't know -- these movies were clearly trying to be campy. I think you get extra points if the filmmakers were really convinced they were making something good.

Mind you, I enjoyed all these movies you listed, but they lack the sincerity and therefore the unintentional humor of Plan Nine or Robot Monster.

I've never been a fan of so bad it's good. I prefer knowing camp... if it actually works. The downside is that if it doesn't it's so bad that it's bad. Like Ed Wood.

CalMeacham 11-05-2016 10:24 PM

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms Bad? Bite your typing finger!


TBF20kF is the UR-1950s monster-on-the-loose film. It's the first film to feature all the elements -- the Monster released by radiation, It slowly makes its way to a major city. It cannot be stopped by ordinary means. It's huge. It sends people scurrying away. Its coming is predicted by the Handsome Young Scientist (and the romantically-0involved Beautiful Assistant). They come up with the Magic Weapon to destroy the Beast, and They Only Have One Chance.

It was also the first major film by Ray Harryhausen. Lacking the army of technicians that his mentor Willis O'Brien had for KIng Kong, Son of Kong, and Mighty Joe Young, Harryhausen had to come up with a cheap and less labor-intensive way to incorporate his creations into footage of "real" people and locations, not using glass paintings, forced perspective sets, and the like, and invented his "reality sandwich" technique (which he called "Dynamation" and "Dynarama" in ads) It was a technical breakthrough.

All in all, it was well-handled. They came up with a plausible reason for the Beast to go to a population center, to explain WHY the Beast couldn't be killed by ordinary means,and neatly brought the plot full circle by using atomic science , which had awakened the Beast, to also destroy it. Since this was the first time for all this, it wasn't a cliché.


When they made the 1998 version of Godzilla, they stole the script from TBf20kF, not from the original Godzilla.

There were lots of imitators, including Gojira. Most of the others were simple imitations, almost always without the technical virtuosity or the originality. But, for all its faults, Beast was the first of its kind, and a trailblazer in the best sense. Bad, it ain't.

Exapno Mapcase 11-05-2016 10:35 PM

Your post mentioned Plan Nine and Robot Monster, so that's what I was referring to, not a movie you didn't even mention.

Baker 11-05-2016 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by galen ubal (Post 19755393)
General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.

FLASH!! aH-AAAAAH!

I find most of the "so bad they're good" movies to be just bad. But this one...

I have a soft spot for this movie. I can even tell you the exact date I first saw it in the theater, Dec. 6, 1980. That morning I'd meant to do something that was really important to me. I woke up too late to do that thing. All day I kicked around in a VERY, VERY, BAD MOOD. That evening I went to the movie, solely as a distraction from my surliness. I came out feeling great, this campy, silly, film really cheered me up!:p

John Mace 11-05-2016 10:50 PM

The Queen from Outer Space with Zsa Zsa Gabor. So bad that it's good!

DrDeth 11-05-2016 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baker (Post 19755589)
I have a soft spot for this movie. I can even tell you the exact date I first saw it in the theater, Dec. 6, 1980. That morning I'd meant to do something that was really important to me. I woke up too late to do that thing. All day I kicked around in a VERY, VERY, BAD MOOD. That evening I went to the movie, solely as a distraction from my surliness. I came out feeling great, this campy, silly, film really cheered me up!:p


It really isnt bad, it was made with a certain campiness in mind, and I think the film succeeds wonderfully. Great soundtrack, costumes, etc.

kopek 11-06-2016 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19755559)
The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms Bad? Bite your typing finger!


Don't get me wrong; I love everything Harry did and own my own copies of the whole list. But as movies go ------ yeah, they are kinda bad. ;)

And since you mentioned "the G word" let me add Gorgo to the list.

Quote:

Originally Posted by galen ubal (Post 19755393)
General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.

FLASH!! aH-AAAAAH!

I find most of the "so bad they're good" movies to be just bad. But this one...

I never quite recovered enough from the 1974 "Flesh Gordon" to try it.

Blank Slate 11-06-2016 12:12 AM

Skidoo

Just the most godawful mess of a movie. Groucho Marx!(his last film). Jackie Gleason drops acid. Carol Channing warbles the hideously catchy theme song. Plus:

Three Batman villians: Frank Gorshin, Cesar Romero and Burgess Meredith.

Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney and Frankie Avalon.

This movie is so bad, I'd really like to see it again someday.

jayjay 11-06-2016 01:41 AM

Have none of you seen The Room?

Flyer 11-06-2016 01:03 AM

I'm surprised that nobody's mentioned the original Red Dawn. It's hilariously cheesy.

The opening attack on the high school is priceless, and the "logic" only gets worse from there.

Go_Arachnid_Laser 11-06-2016 01:39 AM

Bringing things into the 21st century, you can't beat Crank and Crank 2 for sheer so-bad-it's-amazing-ness.

In fact, I think that I'm going to watch them again.

panache45 11-06-2016 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kopek (Post 19755357)
Beast From 20,000 Fathoms

I literally wet myself at this movie. I was about 6 when it came out, and I went to see it with my older brother. He wouldn't stop watching to take me to the restroom, so I peed my pants. I'm sure total fright had something to do with it.

It qualifies, on these grounds alone.

ftg 11-06-2016 07:56 AM

Ninja-ed on The Forbidden Zone.

How about Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills? With Beverly D'Angelo. One of two notable films with Brion James that year.

Battle Beyond the Stars. The Magnificent Seven in spaaaace. Strangely not listed in recent lists of Seven Samurai remakes/sequels when the most recent Magnificent Seven film came out. It had Robert Freakin' Vaughn in it! He was in the original Magnificent Seven, the TV show version and something called The Magnificent Eleven.

Chronos 11-06-2016 08:30 AM

What, no votes for The Fifth Element?

And Ringo Starr's Caveman was not in any sense bad. It was just plain fun.

CalMeacham 11-06-2016 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ftg (Post 19756082)
Ninja-ed on The Forbidden Zone.

How about Pterodactyl Woman from Beverly Hills? With Beverly D'Angelo. One of two notable films with Brion James that year.

Battle Beyond the Stars. The Magnificent Seven in spaaaace. Strangely not listed in recent lists of Seven Samurai remakes/sequels when the most recent Magnificent Seven film came out. It had Robert Freakin' Vaughn in it! He was in the original Magnificent Seven, the TV show version and something called The Magnificent Eleven.



There are two different cuts of Battle Beyond the Stars out there. One is a TV-safe version, where Sybil Danning, the Space Valkyrie, is clad not quite as revealingly. In the other version, her costume is pretty skimpy.


It helps to watch the film in a theater full of bad-movie fans


Space Valkyrie: I'll show you how a Valkyrie can go down!

Theater full of fans: Go Down! Go Down!

Amateur Barbarian 11-06-2016 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XaMcQ (Post 19755522)
Star Crash

Christopher Plummer and a young David Hasselhoff play supporting roles in this fantastically bad rip off of Star Wars.

My number one. Most on my list have been named -

Star Crash (in restored Blu-Ray to appreciate the nuances!)
Giant Claw
Ssssssss!
Ice Pirates
Big Trouble in Little China (pretty good to be on this list, I admit)

Green Bean 11-06-2016 12:04 PM

Roadhouse

ftg 11-06-2016 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19756201)
There are two different cuts of Battle Beyond the Stars out there. One is a TV-safe version, where Sybil Danning, the Space Valkyrie, is clad not quite as revealingly. In the other version, her costume is pretty skimpy.

The only alt-cut I ever saw was on network TV many years ago. (Remember when the big networks aired movies every week?)

They cut some of Sybil's scenes and for ones she had to be in there was a mysterious dark patch covering certain areas. Like part of her chest was in perpetual shadow. Clearly added on, not filmed that way. If there was a TV version film, why didn't the network use it?*

Fun fact: the SFX were by a newbie called James Cameron. Wonder whatever happened to him.

* Although this does happen. When Animal House first aired on commercial TV, e.g., they bleeped the language in the scene with the horse in the dean's office. Much later, there was a version where the actors are clearly saying different, cleaner, lines.

Gatopescado 11-06-2016 01:18 PM

Strange Brew

Starts out silly. Gets sillier.

Amateur Barbarian 11-06-2016 01:44 PM

There's always Suburban Commando, with Hulk Hogan as a space mercenary hunting the bad guys in Levittown suburbia. It has a truly hilarious twist scene on a par with some of the best from Kindergarten Cop... lemme see if it's on YT... yep. (Sorry for the terrible music and sync...)

Channing Idaho Banks 11-06-2016 01:45 PM

Does "Kull the Conqueror" count?

kaylasdad99 11-06-2016 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMeacham (Post 19755118)
Zardoz obscure? Heck, it was a major release when it came out.


I've shown Zardoz at my Bad Film Festivals. (I preceded it with a clip from the MST3K episode of "OPeration Kid Brother", the film starring Connery's younger sibling. At the end of one of the Satellite of Love routines, ostensibly tracing the younger Connery's movie career, Crow says "Well, at least he wasn't in Zardoz!")

It's fun to watch, especially to see where the name comes from.




You don't do the litany stated by The Giant Flying Head justice:


SPOILER:
[the gigantic Stone Head hovers before the worshipful horde of Exterminators]

Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.

Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!

Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!

Exterminators: The Gun is good!

Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.


Go forth, and kill!

Zardoz has spoken.



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948/quotes

Well, my favorite the my about Zardoz was Arthur Frayne.

kaylasdad99 11-06-2016 06:47 PM

Anyone ever see a little bagatelle known as Troll II? :)

kopek 11-06-2016 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatopescado (Post 19756662)
Strange Brew

Starts out silly. Gets sillier.

Or along the same theme "Beer"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088781/...nm_flmg_act_17

Norbecker Lite. For whether you take it in a bottle or in the can.


Quote:

Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 (Post 19757330)
Anyone ever see a little bagatelle known as Troll II? :)

I put the Trolls down with Critters ------- more a guilty pleasure. :)

outlierrn 11-06-2016 07:01 PM

An earlier thead on the topic turned be on the the awful awesomeness that is Latitude Zero.http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...light=latitude

blondebear 11-06-2016 09:40 PM

The Brainiac

TubaDiva 11-06-2016 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panache45 (Post 19754920)
My favorite is Cobra Woman, in which Maria Montez virtually has sex with a king cobra.

Then there's Sins of the Fleshapoids, directed by Mike Kuchar, about future androids who are revolting (in both senses of the term).

In a similar vein, anyone know about this mashup?

It's Martin Denny, the "Quiet Village" guy ... and what the heck is this video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5owZr9vP7c

Baker 11-06-2016 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outlierrn (Post 19757359)
An earlier thead on the topic turned be on the the awful awesomeness that is Latitude Zero.http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...light=latitude

I saw that last year at a film festival! One of it's stars, Linda Haynes, is on my Deathpool list. It's a themed list of Japanese monster movie actors.

Exapno Mapcase 11-06-2016 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatopescado (Post 19756662)
Strange Brew

Starts out silly. Gets sillier.

If we're going Canadian let's go full north.

Brain Candy.

Gatopescado 11-07-2016 12:46 AM

Anybody have the pleasure to screen The Wizard of Gore?

Every bit as wonderfully awful as Plan 9, but IN COLOR!

Crafter_Man 11-07-2016 07:12 AM

Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS. I have it on DVD. It's... quite amazing.

And no love for Gummo?

Shodan 11-07-2016 08:27 AM

No list of this sort is complete without the incomparable Infra-Man.
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Professor Who Creates the Title Character
The situation is so bad, it is the worst it's ever been!

As well the scene of Infra-Man being attacked by a swarm of disembodied arms.

Warning: Once watched, this movie cannot be unseen. Is this good, or bad? Yes, it is.

Regards,
Shodan

Gyrate 11-07-2016 09:06 AM

My Guilty Pleasure film is Undercover Blues. Dennis Quaid and Kathleen Turner are a married couple of spies on vacation in New Orleans with their toddler daughter. Goofy plot ensues. At no point is anything taken seriously. Is it bad? I dunno. It certainly was unlikely to win any awards.

Noteworthy for talented character actors Stanley Tucci and Fiona Shaw competing for "Best Scenery Chewing" and "Most Ridiculous Accent". For my money I think Tucci pips Shaw for both. "Mah nem ees MUERTE!""

DesertDog 11-07-2016 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennshark (Post 19754553)
I thought I had watched all the "so bad it's good flicks" on earth, but I missed a doozy I saw on TCM this morning: The Silver Chalice, featuring an awful Paul Newman as a slave-sculptor, Jack Palance as a campy magician in a sperm-printed leotard, and Virginia Mayo as a first century Las Vegas showgirl/Vulcan chick in radical blue eyeshadow.

Legend has it Newman tried to track down and destroy every print of the film.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crafter_Man
Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS. I have it on DVD. It's... quite amazing.

I saw it years ago at a repertoire theater in San Jose. They kept a book in the lobby where you could request films. When this was shown, paired with Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Shieks, in the notes printed was "We make no apologies for this. It was at the top of our request list. You guys asked for this!

And to add to the pile, I throw in Five Million Years to Earth. It has a 7.1 rating on IMDb; I have no idea why.

Cardigan 11-07-2016 09:15 AM

Not to hijack, but a semi-related question: is it even possible to do 'bad' camp? That is, attempt to do bad, and fail in achieving badness? What would a film failing in this endeavor look like?


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