Straight Dope Message Board

Straight Dope Message Board (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php)
-   Cafe Society (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=13)
-   -   What is the yonic/vulvar equivalent of a stripper pole? (https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=816707)

jackdavinci 01-19-2017 10:41 AM

What is the yonic/vulvar equivalent of a stripper pole?
 
Enquiring minds want to know, what is the yonic/vulvar equivalent of a stripper pole? Stripper poles are a symbolic stand in for the penis that dancers use as a prop of sorts. What would one use as an equally versatile symbolic vagina?

Side talk can devolve into other symbolic artistic representations, but I'm really after something that makes a great erotic dance prop. Both hypothetical ideals and anything actual male strippers may have used.

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk

Guest-starring: Id! 01-19-2017 10:48 AM

Not sure what male strippers do but maybe if they stood there using a fleshlight...

AHunter3 01-19-2017 12:11 PM

How about a hula hoop?

shunpiker 01-19-2017 12:37 PM

Various sea anemones.

Taco the cat 01-19-2017 12:45 PM

Men can use stripper poles as well.

WOOKINPANUB 01-19-2017 01:06 PM

Tires? Kind of like how on obstacle courses where you have to run while stepping into each one, only you'd have to do it in a seductive manner.

Massage chair?

Chronos 01-19-2017 01:07 PM

I'm not sure that the equivalent would even be a dance prop at all. Women dance to seem sexy to men a lot more often than men dance to seem sexy to women. I think the equivalent art form might actually be poetry, in which case the equivalent to the pole would be something that male poets write poems about. Flowers, perhaps.

eunoia 01-19-2017 01:51 PM

Arne Jacobsen egg chair and Monday Night Football.

Gatopescado 01-19-2017 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taco the cat (Post 19932497)
Men can use stripper poles as well.

Not real men.

DrCube 01-19-2017 02:22 PM

Fingering a guitar.

kanicbird 01-19-2017 02:27 PM

skin tight suits

ZipperJJ 01-19-2017 02:28 PM

A broom or a mop.

Oooh you gonna clean for me? Yeah baby, do it! Do it!

Sunny Daze 01-19-2017 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronos (Post 19932574)
I'm not sure that the equivalent would even be a dance prop at all. Women dance to seem sexy to men a lot more often than men dance to seem sexy to women. I think the equivalent art form might actually be poetry, in which case the equivalent to the pole would be something that male poets write poems about. Flowers, perhaps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrCube (Post 19932800)
Fingering a guitar.

Female says "X" (not).

I'm not sure the male needs one. His genitalia being external, the world is the womb* into which he, er, thrusts. So to speak.

Male dance can be very erotic. You two, stop spoiling my fun.


*Yes, yes, I know it's not really the womb. Just go with it.

Casey1505 01-19-2017 02:58 PM

Stratocasters.

Darren Garrison 01-19-2017 03:04 PM

How about a board game? I think I've heard somewhere that Yoni loves Yahtzee.

Quartz 01-19-2017 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronos (Post 19932574)
Women dance to seem sexy to men a lot more often than men dance to seem sexy to women.

I'm not sure that this is true. Is not dancing a mating behaviour for both sexes?

Musicat 01-19-2017 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackdavinci (Post 19932092)
Enquiring minds want to know, what is the yonic/vulvar equivalent of a stripper pole? Stripper poles are a symbolic stand in for the penis that dancers use as a prop of sorts.

Maybe not. Sometimes a pole is just a pole.*







* Unless you're in Germany.

TBG 01-19-2017 07:11 PM

The banana hammock

gigi 01-19-2017 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darren Garrison (Post 19932918)
How about a board game? I think I've heard somewhere that Yoni loves Yahtzee.

Groan.

A FOAF had a cat named Yoni, I guess since it was a pussy.

Trancephalic 01-19-2017 07:48 PM

This

jackdavinci 01-20-2017 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taco the cat (Post 19932497)
Men can use stripper poles as well.


Yes but they aren't metaphorical vaginas.

So far the hula hoop and egg chair come closest.

Stealing from classic art we have giant clamshells, orchids, and walnuts I suppose.

Maybe one of those springy play tunnels we had as kids lol

Perhaps a nice free standing arch with red velvet or satin curtains and a small round pillow or knob on top. I'm liking that. Simple, obvious, sexy, and versatile.



Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk

Chronos 01-20-2017 10:56 AM

Quote:

Quoth Quartz:

I'm not sure that this is true. Is not dancing a mating behaviour for both sexes?
There are two kinds of dancing: Dancing with a partner, and dancing for an audience. Men do a fair amount of the former, but every time you have a man dancing with a woman, you also have a woman dancing with a man. And even there, a woman dancing with a woman is a lot more common than a man dancing with a man. But while there are some men who dance for an audience, there are a lot more women who dance for an audience.

Guest-starring: Id! 01-20-2017 11:09 AM

I guess using a blow-up doll would look somewhat ungainly.

Hypno-Toad 01-20-2017 03:17 PM

A doorway or tunnel would be symbolic. Problem is, a man emerging from a tunnel or door might be more symbolic of birth than sex.

Kimstu 01-20-2017 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronos (Post 19935040)
But while there are some men who dance for an audience, there are a lot more women who dance for an audience.

That's kind of slanted toward (modern) American and related cultures in which the conventions of masculinity focus on seeming powerful and/or aggressive rather than on deliberately drawing attention to one's sexiness.

That's not equally true everywhere. If you watch Bollywood movies, you'll notice a lot more male actors dancing and posing in explicitly sexy ways than you see in western movies.

Chronos 01-20-2017 10:52 PM

That may well be true, and I'll concede that the OP's use of "yonic" does suggest an Indian cultural context.

Face Intentionally Left Blank 01-21-2017 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunny Daze (Post 19932823)
Female says "X" (not).

I'm not sure the male needs one. His genitalia being external, the world is the womb* into which he, er, thrusts. So to speak.

Male dance can be very erotic. You two, stop spoiling my fun.


*Yes, yes, I know it's not really the womb. Just go with it.

Great username/post combo. I used to drive past a strip bar all the time called, "Sunny Day's Stage Door." Thanks for the laugh, unintentional though it was.

jackdavinci 01-21-2017 10:09 PM

And then I saw this...

https://twitter.com/SydOperaHouse/st...210072577?s=09

warning: giant gold genital stage prop

Sent from my LG-V410 using Tapatalk

foolsguinea 01-21-2017 10:17 PM

Men in bathtubs seem to get a positive female response. I can see some interesting ways of varying that.

Sage Rat 01-21-2017 11:46 PM

Of circus acts, aerial silks seems like the best fit for me. I think you could dance erotically with it, and since there are two of them draping down and the man would go in the middle, it seems a reasonable metaphor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUxDxoBpINw (Ladies)

Hypno-Toad 01-22-2017 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foolsguinea (Post 19939402)
Men in bathtubs seem to get a positive female response. I can see some interesting ways of varying that.

Or maybe a man in a canoe.

Quartz 01-22-2017 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackdavinci (Post 19932092)
Enquiring minds want to know, what is the yonic/vulvar equivalent of a stripper pole?

How about the tight (around the crotch) trousers? They didn't call him Elvis the Pelvis for nothing, y'know! :)

astro 01-22-2017 05:45 PM

I'm pretty sure than 95% or more of the persons male strippers are normally working for are not going to be all interested in vaginas or female symbology.

Elemenopy 01-22-2017 10:25 PM

Uhh.

Analogues to stripper poles, eh? Motorcycles? Construction equipment (like the cliched jackhammer?) But I must say, male ballroom dancers are HOT!! Even if they're 5'2" and 300 lbs, if they can lead a lady adeptly, that's very erotic for those in the know.

When I think of a stereotypical sexy guy, and being completely superficial, I think of (in order) chest hair, top-heavy muscles, sensual lips, and knowing eyes. Maybe a nice shock of curly hair. YMMV! I can't really think of anything they could do to just be hot immediately/visually, other than being a good, attentive dancer. But I think a lot of women can agree...that the sexiest thing a guy can do is to be "in the moment" and paying attention to his love interest. Which applies to being a good dance partner, so....

Corner Case 02-01-2017 01:18 PM

A man walks into the room holding a cup of coffee in each hand and says, "Quick, grab the donuts".

Toxgoddess 02-02-2017 01:03 PM

A certain classic movie has it that warm apple pie would be appropriate.

TonyRV2 02-05-2017 01:13 PM

Gyrating over a bankbook filled with six figure entries ought to do the trick...eh...so to speak.

gaffa 02-05-2017 04:43 PM

A wading pool with a rubber duck on the edge?

GIGObuster 02-05-2017 05:36 PM

A Kayak.
Quote:

A Japanese artist who made a kayak modeled on her vagina has been found guilty of breaking the country’s obscenity laws, in a case that has invited widespread ridicule of attitudes towards images of female genitalia.
Funny thing that in the original Inuktitut language the term means "Man's boat"

Sam Stone 02-05-2017 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackdavinci (Post 19932092)
Stripper poles are a symbolic stand in for the penis

No they're not. Stripper poles are simply a mechanism to allow strippers to spread their legs in an 'artistic' fashion up off the ground so men in the cheap seats can get a glimpse.

gaffa 02-05-2017 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Stone (Post 19979395)
No they're not. Stripper poles are simply a mechanism to allow strippers to spread their legs in an 'artistic' fashion up off the ground so men in the cheap seats can get a glimpse.

Pole dancing can be as beautiful and expressive as any other type of dancing, and takes an extraordinary amount of strength and skill. If you don't believe the latter, feel free to post a video of yourself doing a pole dance to prove otherwise.

Sam Stone 02-05-2017 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaffa (Post 19979480)
Pole dancing can be as beautiful and expressive as any other type of dancing, and takes an extraordinary amount of strength and skill. If you don't believe the latter, feel free to post a video of yourself doing a pole dance to prove otherwise.

I have no doubt. Humans are pretty good at finding artistic expression. There was a guy on America's Got Talent who took juggling (the Dane Cook of circus arts) and turned it into an art form.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:20 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2017 Sun-Times Media, LLC.