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Old 05-11-2011, 07:49 PM
WhyNot WhyNot is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sweet Home Chicago
Posts: 33,496
People, people, people! You're being far too literal here. Clearly Jack and The Beanstalk is a thinly veiled adolescent sex fantasy.

First, the boy rids himself of the cow. Cow. Milk. Mothers. He trades away this sign of maternal warmth and nourishment for a "stalk" which grows to enormous proportions in the night while he sleeps. Grasping this "stalk," he climbs until he comes to the home of the Giant's Wife. She services him, feeds him dinner and generally finds him to be good company until her husband comes home. Startled, she hides the adulterer in her chest - a traditional symbol of a girl's hopes and dreams of marriage.

Jack makes his escape, sliding down that giant stalk, until he's safe and sound at home again. But it he satisfied with cuckolding the Giant once? Nope. He returns to steal everything that's not nailed down, slides back down the stalk and, sated at last, cuts it off!

Now that his adolescent adventures are over, he vows never to return to Giant Country again and he retires to a life of luxury, spent and impotent.

Last edited by WhyNot; 05-11-2011 at 07:51 PM.