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Old 05-12-2016, 10:46 PM
RickJay RickJay is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 38,235
Home Depot Thunderdome: Choose Your Weapon

The other day we we're at Home Depot when I came across the display of axes and sledges, and as we all do, I thought about how I could use one to smash open someone's head to feast on the goo inside.

So today's exercise is this: suppose you must fight someone to the death using only a single weapon in a Home Depot. What weapon would you choose?

RULES:

1. The death match shall be against a person whose physical and combat prowess reasonably matches your own.

2. The death match takes place in a room thirty feet by thirty feet with cinderblock walls. There are no obstacles, intrusions, or anything else.

3. Two go in. One comes out. You must fight to the death and you will fight to win.

4. For your weapon you may choose any one weapon found in a well stocked Home Depot, with the following caveats:

4a. The weapon cannot actually be a gun, crossbow, or other thing designed primarily as a weapon. I dunno if American stores stock those but they're off limits.

4b. If the weapon is fuelled, it will be supplied to you with a full tank of fuel.

4c. If the weapon is powered by electricity you may bring a fifty foot extension cord with you and plug it in before the fight begins. Your opponent is permitted to try to unplug or destroy your cord.

4d. Aside from the exceptions above you may bring no other objects in with you.

Choose your weapon and justify your choice.

FINISH HIM!