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Old 01-17-2019, 01:43 PM
HMS Irruncible is offline
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 7,743
Originally Posted by Eonwe View Post
There is no way to encourage gender-specific behavior that is not toxic in some way. Any example of truly non-toxic masculinity I've seen is just "how any person, male or not, should behave."
Men and women don't share all the same behaviors or misbehaviors. Some of it plays into gender roles.

One example of toxic masculinity is displays of violence in response to being disrespected. Occasionally women do that, but I never have any worry about accidentally getting into a dumb honor-fight by slighting a woman.

Other things are aggressive sexual pursuit, cat-calling and sexual comments, binge-dirinking, dominating the weak just for the fun of it. Again, women are capable of these things, but nobody considers it part of being a woman in the same way some people think that's just part of being a man.

That's on the negative side. On the positive side we can take those traits and turn them to good ends. Protect the weak, stand up for women, show chivalry, have the strength to call out bad behavior.

Change those things, and you still have a very appealing masculinity. I mean I guess that's true, I'm not attracted to men, but my dad does almost none of the toxic behaviors and I think he's a more manly man for it. I try to model that for my son as well.

Last edited by HMS Irruncible; 01-17-2019 at 01:44 PM.