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#1
10-08-2003, 10:46 AM
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To the bitch who fucks for fun
I won't say fuck you, cause thats what you want.
but you can piss off.. I'm sick of frigging girls coming to me saying 'I'm a gem' or I'm special cause I aint gonna go round fucking left right and centre... I'm just a bit down because I got too attacthed to this girl who I knew, she was cool we got alot in common, the day after this 'ooo we're alike' crap, she says she going to meet some guy from the net and fuck him...and if they hit off after they had sex then go out with each other... The ordasity of some people!! How the hell could you lead me on like that you fucking bitch!!!!! Leading me to believe you actually liked me then go and fuck some guy off the net?? She was talking to me today thinking it would be all normal, she was all elated which I knew was from the shagging she got describing how she got her needs satisfyed........ I don't wanna talk to her again, she's an asshole... one things for sure, I'm an idiot........ 
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#2
10-08-2003, 10:50 AM
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Ryan, Ryan, Ryan....YOU are not an idiot. You just seem to be in such a hurry to have a girlfriend that you allow yourself to get involved with some girls who are bad choices for you.
Do not let this girl get under your skin. You are right. She is an asshole. Now get her out of your life and forget about it. You deserve better.
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#4
10-08-2003, 11:00 AM
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Yes, he is an idiot.
How exactly is being friends with you leading you on? If you wanted to date her, then you should have asked her out, instead of just fuming that she's with someone else now. That fact that she told you before she did shows that you had already passed from date material into the friends category. It's not her fault you didn't make your desire to date her known.
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#6
10-08-2003, 11:08 AM
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Yeah, where the hell were these girls when I was a freshman in high school?
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#7
10-08-2003, 11:08 AM
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Quote:
If my memory is right....he is not into casual sex and it bothers him when these girls flirt with him or see him as a challenge then turn around and fuck anything that moves and fill him in on all the details. Ryan if I have you confused with someone else, then my apologies.
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#13
10-08-2003, 11:21 AM
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How dare a woman enjoy sex!
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#14
10-08-2003, 11:22 AM
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Ryan, I feel for you. If I may offer some advice, please raise your standards. And use a condom. You'll be Much happier in the long run on both accounts. Not all girls are as promiscous as 'tunnel whores', with more riders to their credit than a merry-go-round.
Honest.
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#15
10-08-2003, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
He doesn't mind a woman enjoying sex. It's that he meets a girl, they start getting to know one another and he likes said girl. Said girl then finds out he isn't just a roll in the hay and either A)makes it her mission to be The One to change his mind or B) tells him she loves him like a brother then discusses her rampant sex life with him. I believe he just wants to find someone not interested in hitting the sheets 5 minutes after they meet and is frustrated by how this is going. Again, Ryan if I am misrepresenting how you feel then I apologize.
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#16
10-08-2003, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
or maybe just Because they don't know it's making you uncomfortable? Have you asked them to not talk about it with you since it bothers you so much? Or do you just smile and reply and then come here and call them bitches and assholes for not being privy to your every waking thought?
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#18
10-08-2003, 11:28 AM
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Well watch for the pattern for christ's sake. If all these girls seem to act the same and then dump on you a week later then quit fucking hanging out with them. If this is complicated then I agree, you are an idiot. A decent girl won't fawn all over you because you don't screw around, she'll expect it.
BTW I like girls like that so you are an asshole for calling her a bitch. Must log on to Lavalife now. 
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#19
10-08-2003, 11:29 AM
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Ryan_Liam, I was a "brother" figure to many, many women in high school and college. While it was frustrating at times, it inevitably led me to a greater understanding and appreciation for what attracts many women in the first place. It helped me develop relationship skills that have served me well since. You don't think I could woo and marry somebody as devastatingly gorgeous and witty as Aries28 based on my looks, do you?
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#20
10-08-2003, 11:34 AM
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some people here think I'm an asshole for not fucking around, jees and I thought you older people where whinging that us kids had no morals?
First of all, she liked me as in fancied me and well, then she tells me about this guy, do you understand now why I am pissed off and am calling her a bitch??? And for your information Carnalk, I like women like that too but can't they at least say cellibate for three days???
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#21
10-08-2003, 11:37 AM
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Also you "just don't like sex" and you want to date a girl who is into internet flings? Can you say wrong match... how long do you think she would stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn't like sex? Why would you even want such an uneven situation?
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#23
10-08-2003, 11:56 AM
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can I try?
let her have sex ryan, and do so yourself, if you get the opportunity. Then, if you still like her afterwards, then stipulate that you don't like sharing.
It takes two to tango, so perhaps the problem is yours too. You're not alone. perhaps you're jealous and sexually insecure like me. perhaps you want a firmer foundation so that you have more than tenuous sexual power to weild over your mate. After all, you don't admonish your male buds for having a jump, so why admonish her. Be honest, and don't be intimidated by other men. If I am wrong, feel free to laugh and cite with glee- and much poison, you snakes!
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#25
10-08-2003, 12:22 PM
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Oh for God's sake, Ryan, sex is something adults do. It's fun. Not every sexual encounter has to be themostimportantactofyourlife. IF you haven't made clear to this woman that: A) You like her and B) for you, liking someone mans not getting into sex for at least a little while, who do you have to blame but yourself? Maybe she was interested in you, and you didn't respond to her the way she's used to seeing ( This guy hasn't tried to make me, he must not be interested ) Maybe she's just enjoying sex for sex and is not looking to be Carol Brady to your Mike. In any event, nowhere in your OP did I see any mention of your talking to her about your feelings or expectations, yet you seem to expect her to magically devine them. Personally, my advice to you would be to find a few willing birds and shag your brains out. It would prolly help you put this kind of stuff in perspective and not agonize over it so.
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#26
10-08-2003, 12:26 PM
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Or did you just assume/hope/translate it as such because YOU wanted it to be that way?? If you want an exclusive monogamous relationship with someone, then you need to make that clearly known. Don't just assume that everyone has the same values and views relationships in the same context as you do. There are people who see nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners, and for whom this takes NOTHING away from the person who is their "primary" partner. I too am monogamous and don't really understand how this could be so. HOWEVER, just because there are people who DO feel this way doesn't mean that they're being "assholes" by having this type of lifestyle. Unless you and she had a clearly outlined relationship in which both of you were committed to monogamy and in which you both understood that it was exclusive with each OTHER. You're judging her unfairly and possibly without actually knowing anything at ALL about her actual thoughts and motives.
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#27
10-08-2003, 12:31 PM
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What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut fucks everyone, a bitch fucks everyone but you.
Not that this is at all germaine.
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#28
10-08-2003, 01:09 PM
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I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this cause I know Ryan is a guy, but gosh gee, this sounds like me and my girlfriends bitching about the guys around us twenty years ago.
What happened....they grew up. They began to look for relationships instead of sex (something the girls I knew got to faster). And the girls also grew up and became girls whom you'd want to have relationships with, instead of just sleep with. But a lot of people think sex IS a lot of fun. And is fun even when it is completely meaningless - a way to spend an evening with someone you barely know. Eventually, most people outgrow this. Sex shouldn't ever stop being fun, but it stops being something that is so much fun you need to do it with near strangers. My advice to Ryan....be patient. Meet a lot of girls and don't bother with the ones that aren't interested in the types of relationships you are interested in....at least, don't bother with them now. Wait for them to stop sowing their wild oats. In the meantime, work on developing yourself into someone who will make an interesting and desireable long term monogamous boyfriend (as my girlfriends who didn't bother with this step are still attracting the guys who aren't ready).
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#29
10-08-2003, 01:27 PM
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Re: To the bitch who fucks for fun
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You really need to calm down. Right now, you're sending out the serious "crazy stalker" vibe. If a girl flirts with you, but then nothing happens, it's none of your business if she goes on to fuck every guy in town. Yeah, it may hurt your feelings that she didn't want to fuck you too, but she didn't do anything wrong. The more you act like this, the less luck you're going to have in the future. Girls want to date calm guys who have some self-confidence, and you're not projecting that image at all.
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#30
10-08-2003, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
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#31
10-08-2003, 02:00 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
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#32
10-08-2003, 02:53 PM
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OK, Homebrew. It stopped being so much fun I needed to do it with strangers (and I was never into sex with strangers, but I did go farther with a few people I barely knew than I now would feel comfortable with). YMMV - and I apologize if I made it sound like anyone who hits their thirtith birthday and still enjoy sex with people they barely know is immature. To each his (or her, or their) own.
To me, sex is kind of like sweets. I could down candy 'til I got sick when I was a kid. Now I appreciate them far more, but need them far less, and am far more discriminating (Hershey's chocolate bar - why bother?). In my experience (which is, by definition, limited to my experience) many people have a lot of sex when they first discover it, and eventually move on to make room in their lives for a different hobby. Of course, some people make sex their hobby for life. And I ain't one to judge sex as a hobby (or for that matter, profession). Whatever turns your crank - as long as its between consenting adults.
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#35
10-08-2003, 04:55 PM
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Ryan, stop being friends or a brother. Despite movies or stupid advice, 'friends first' seldom works unless you are looking for a friend.
IME, you do not 'grow' on women. They know within .001 milliseconds from seeing you if you have a chance with them. If you pass that test then you MAY have a shot. If you fail it, you have a proverbial snowballs chance in hell. If you're interested in her romantically, ask her out. Stop being so indirect. It will save you time, energy and heartache.
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#37
10-08-2003, 08:04 PM
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Ryan - I don't think people are slamming you for not having casual sex. That's your choice. But this specific chick is allowed the same choice. And if she chooses the casual sex, then that's fine. Move along.
It seems to me like you need to relax a little bit about relationships. Not that you need to go running around like a bunny, fucking everything that moves, but don't treat each girl you meet like a potential girlfriend, you know? Don't invest too much in them. This isn't license to act like a jerk - you still have to be friendly if you want any action at all - but don't get too lovestruck too soon, you know? And above all, be patient. Going from a few posts of yours that I vaguely remember, you seem to be probably about the same age as me, early twenties. You've got so much time to go out and find someone and really make a connection. There's no rush. Let this girl go, and wait for someone better to come along.
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#38
10-08-2003, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
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#39
10-08-2003, 08:23 PM
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What look!ninjas said.
If someone doesn't care enough about me to just want to be my FRIEND, why would I want that person as a romantic interest?
__________________
-Praise Ceiling Cat, who be watchin yu, may him has a cheezburger 
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#42
10-09-2003, 08:20 AM
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I've done some thinking, seriously and yeah you're right, its her body and shes her own person and she can do what she wants its none of my business....and looking back on what I've been moaning about myself I can find its routes in jealousy, so I'm just going to act grown up and not put much thought into it.
Thank you all for all of your advice, the crtisicm was good as well, it helped me shape a much better view of the situation
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#43
10-09-2003, 08:41 AM
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Ryan..it was obvious that you were really frustrated.
But believe it or not, someday these things that are driving you nuts will hold you in good stead. There IS a breed of woman out there that DOES hold companionship high on their list of priorities, and if you're patient, it'll happen for you. I'm 38, and most of the people I know that are in the happiest relationships were lamenting just like you in their younger days. And ya know what? Angst is just a distant memory for them. It will be for you too.
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#45
10-09-2003, 09:01 AM
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Ryan,
Someone in the board pointed me to a website where there is a columnist who he said I sounded like. I read him some and don't agree with him perfectly but do feel following his advice would help much more than it would hurt. I believe it is Doc Love at askmen.com. Take a look. Been awhile since I looked but I think that is it.
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#46
10-14-2003, 07:50 AM
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"Oh sorry sweety, I spent the last 10 years having the best and wildest sexual experiences of my life, now I'm just looking for a nice boring relationship." And as angry as I sound, I'm probably still gonna be one of the guys who ends up with a girl like that, because as I said, I'm an idiot and I'm desperate.
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#47
10-14-2003, 10:00 AM
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An' it's Ryan this, an Ryan that, and "I don't just want to fuck" But it's "Liam, I'm fucking others" when I want to get some luck.
__________________
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them." If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
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#48
10-14-2003, 12:40 PM
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WAAAAAAAAAaaaaah. Sorry, I couldn't help that first bit. I know you're just venting your frustration and likely didn't mean to sound bitter and whiny. First of all, the following post is NOT just to you, but to all the guys in this, and other similar "nice guy" threads who've posted similar sentiments. Look, not ALL girls are going to go around f**ing everything in sight for their first 10 years after reaching the age of sexual maturity. Many will believe just as you do. Second, why are you assuming that the fact that many girls DO take the option to be sexually free means that you can't "have any fun" or that you have to "wait around" until they're done screwing around?? Also, why are you assuming that girls are thinking of a permanent relationship as being a "nice, boring" relationship? Has it occured to you that they are merely not ready for a relationship and wisely and maturely have chosen to "play the field" (as they said in my day) while they also mature in other ways?? (finishing college, etc). If you don't like casual sex, Fine. Seek out girls/woman who share your viewpoint. I'm not getting the "because they know we're desparate and idiots" part. WHY are you "desparate"? Are you desparate for sex? Or for the relationship. And why are you "desparate" for either? Anytime a person gets to that point, that desparation is like a red neon sign to ANYONE of the opposite sex (or same if that's your orientation) that SCREAMS "Danger, DANGER Will Robinson!!! Depsarate CLINGY, will drive you insane with his/her neediness, Person here"!!!!! However, if it's just that you too would like to have casual sex, then don't expect anything permanent to come of your encounters with these girls. You can't have it both ways. (not saying you can't TRY, but that's likely to just bring about frustration).
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#49
10-14-2003, 01:27 PM
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Ryan ma'boy, read this. It will put it all into perspective...
__________________
Kwyjibo:'Balding Canadian Ape', is well-renowned for triple word scores. (Thx Lno!  ) Winner of the first ever The First SDMB Little Guy Award and AKA: iMaxx
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#50
10-14-2003, 01:42 PM
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Re: To the bitch who fucks for fun
Quote:
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