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[twickster]

FairyChatMom and I have decided to recruit performers for a Doper Talent Show. She's going to play the accordion; I'm going to tap-dance; we'll share the emceeing duties. (Hey, if this distracts us from our efforts towards world domination, it's all good, right?)

So -- who are you, and what is your act? The more detail, the better -- paint a picture for us here, while we look over your 8x10 glossy and make some notes...

[FairyChatMom]

So, where should we put the casting couch??

[lightingtool]

I've got a nice couch in my office that could be "put to use," if you know what I mean (nudge nudge, wink wink).

I play the piano (well, a portable keyboard for now 'cause a real piano is kind of hard to move from apartment to apartment) pretty well, and I've been in a fairly large number of bands. I play lost of styles; jazz, blues, classic rock, funk, etc. I've even sung a few times until the rest of the band decided we had to get a "real" singer (whatever that means).

Pick me! Pick me!

[yellowval]

Hi, I'm Val, and I can stick my tongue up my nose. I'm also double jointed and have freakishly small pinkie toes.
As a bonus, my husband and I will sing "Love Shack."

Before you say it, allow me: "This is a talent show, not a circus!"

[Flander]

"Hi, I'm Flander. I'm a professional rollerskater and I'm going to skate for YOU!"

[Loopydude]

I can sing "Love on the Rocks" and sound almost exactly like Neil Diamond. I'm not kidding. I can't sing anything else to save my own life, but that I can nail with chilling accuracy, according to my wife. I don't even like that song. I started doing the imitation because I wanted to make fun of it.

But there it is: My only talent.

[FairyChatMom]

Val, twicks and I use the phrase "talent show" somewhat loosely. Do you have an 8X10 of the freakish pinkie toes??

lightingtool, step over to the baby grand and show me your stuff, so to speak...

[twickster]

Flander -- have you given any thought to adding flaming batons to your act?

Loopydude -- we're also going to need crew, ushers, ticket-takers, etc.

[yellowval]

[quote=FairyChatMom]Val, twicks and I use the phrase "talent show" somewhat loosely. Do you have an 8X10 of the freakish pinkie toes??
[quote]

Of course! What do you think I take on all those auditions?
They're about three-quarters of an inch long, and almost half as long as my "normal" toes. Itty bitty toenail to match, complete with a dab of pink polish. Polish color can be changed to suit your tastes, but please let me know a couple of days in advance as I generally end up painting most of the toe and will have to wait for some of it to wear off.
Being double jointed and all, there is a chance (but not a guarantee) that I could stick my little toes up my nose (one at a time of course). This would be a first attempt made solely for the SDMB talent show. Put that on your sign and you'll sell some tickets, I tell ya!

[Satyricon]

I can draw anything except monkeys, buildings or cars!


(anyone who wants me to draw a monkey driving off a building in a car can go to hell.)

[FairyChatMom]

Originally Posted by Satyricon

I can draw anything except monkeys, buildings or cars!

Hmmmmm, so could you come up with some publicity posters that don't involve monkeys driving cars into buildings??

How can you not draw buildings? They're just big boxes. With windows. And the occasional architectural feature...

Like I can talk. My stick people are marginally recognizable. I reserve my artistry for other things. Non-drawing things. But I digress.

Anyway, work up a few sketches and we'll talk.

[Marvel]

I could be helpful on or off stage!

I can do this weird thing with my index fingers where they look like they wiggle like a worm (saw Jane Curtain do it when she was still n Saturday Night Live and imitated).

ALso, once a week I host an 80s music show called "The Spandex Years" at a college radio station (WRUW FM 91.1). I could spin disks while people are performing and "play them off" the stage.

Stepping Up to the Mic,
Patty