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  #1  
Old 06-04-2000, 04:58 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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sucks.

That movie STANK. The remake, I mean.

List all the reasons why the film stank/mistakes made in the film here.


I'll start--the use of anti-ship Harpoon missiles to blow up a building.
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  #2  
Old 06-04-2000, 06:11 PM
Beadalin Beadalin is offline
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Does the complete lack of Mothra count?
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  #3  
Old 06-04-2000, 07:14 PM
Derleth Derleth is offline
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They did not use radar-guided missiles to kill the BUFF (big ugly fat fucker, old air force term). I believe an AIM-9 would have made short work of any rampaging lizard. Yeah, buildings would have caused problems, but this is National Security here! Civililans can't interfere! On that note, NORAD would have had more say. 100 MT kills big beastie!
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  #4  
Old 06-04-2000, 07:23 PM
Obvious Guy Obvious Guy is offline
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Okay here we go...

*The movie was too dark. Since when has Goszilla been afraid of the sun.
*Godzilla looked too much like a dinosaur. That might as well used Barney.
*There was no Godzookie
*I didn't hear the traditional Godzilla roar enough.
*And last but not least there was no dubbing
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  #5  
Old 06-04-2000, 08:02 PM
SteelToes SteelToes is offline
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I could whup Godzilla if I was a brainiac.
Why can't they, I wonder. Not very realistic, fantasy-wise.
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  #6  
Old 06-04-2000, 08:17 PM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
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Worst moment: When the lure Godzilla out of hiding by dumping a ton of fish, and when he shows up, they have absolutely no plan about what to do next.

But no one can do a better trashing of Godzilla than this one: http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/r_godzilla.htp
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  #7  
Old 06-04-2000, 11:04 PM
Baglady Baglady is offline
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No Raymond Burr!!
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  #8  
Old 06-04-2000, 11:11 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Because with the money they wasted on this dog, they could have made about fifteen good movies.
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  #9  
Old 06-05-2000, 02:16 PM
voguevixen voguevixen is offline
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No "Corn Job!"

(Inside joke for all the MSTies, heh heh.)
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  #10  
Old 06-06-2000, 01:15 PM
Joe_Cool Joe_Cool is offline
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I hated this movie. Godzilla is not a plain ol' lizard or a dinosaur. I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called "Jurassic Park".

This movie was so un-Godzilla-like, that when he finally leaned down and blew fire (radiation-breath) at a tank, I got really pissed off and actually said "Oh, come on! What the hell do they think this is?! Godzi...? Oh. Nevermind."
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  #11  
Old 06-06-2000, 10:16 PM
Koffing Koffing is offline
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Too much talking between the thoroughly uninteresting characters. I was asleep, literally passed-out, between all of the action scenes. I'd wake up when the explosions started, and I'd fall back asleep five minutes into the people talking.

That's in addition to the lizard being very un-Godzilla-like. They should give Toho some money and let them have at it.

Go, go rubber-suit Godzilla!
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  #12  
Old 06-07-2000, 03:16 PM
Duck Duck Goose Duck Duck Goose is offline
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1. Casting of squeaky-voice Matthew Broderick as The Scientist. Sorry, Matt.
2. Waffling around on the whole DNA thing--"mumble mumble DNA mumble mumble My God it's a dinosaur!" Huh? Jurassic Park was the same way. I'm not asking for an episode of NOVA but I would like a little more plausible explanation.
3. Ditto "it's female, and it's pregnant". Huh?
4. Bimbo in residence--why? Not that I have anything against bimbos per se, but if all the movie is gonna do is destroy Manhattan, why bother with the love story subplot? Just clutter.
5. What's with the rain machine? Did they get a discount on gallons per minute or something?
6. Touching moments of "communication" between The Scientist and The Monster. I thought it was dumb the first time around, still think it's dumb in the remake. "Godzilla doesn't mean to smash up Tokyo, he wants to be friends!" Gag me with a spoon.
7. "My god, we have to evacuate the city", and all those New Yorkers just meekly pack up and go? Right. "So there's a dinosaur run amuck, so what, I'm up for a part off-off-Broadway and I'm not leaving until I find out, so sue me!"

On the other side of the ledger, I would like to publicly express my appreciation to the filmmakers for showing us exactly how it would look if we blew up Madison Square Garden. Truly righteous.

(Overall, I enjoyed the movie, but that might have been because I saw it in a packed movie theater in the company of what sounded like the city's entire middle-school population, whose enthusiasm couldn't help but be contagious.)
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  #13  
Old 06-07-2000, 03:28 PM
tiggeril tiggeril is offline
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here's another site w/ amusing 'zilla roasts:

http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-harpongodzilla.html
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  #14  
Old 06-07-2000, 04:16 PM
Procrutes Procrutes is offline
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Not a single instance of bad voice-over dubbing...

"Look, here he comes now!" ::lips continue to move for additional 30 seconds::
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  #15  
Old 06-07-2000, 07:33 PM
tracer tracer is offline
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voguevixen wrote:

Quote:
No "Corn Job!"

(Inside joke for all the MSTies, heh heh.)
Silly, Cornjob was from Gamera Versus Guiron, not from any of the Godzilla movies!
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  #16  
Old 06-08-2000, 09:39 PM
Smeghead Smeghead is offline
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The one thing that really got me going about this, the biggest plot hole (literally) was the following:

They get into the MSG through a giant tunnel that Godzilla has dug and come up through a big hole in the floor. Then, upon exiting, they make a BIG deal about making sure all the exits are blocked off so the mini-G's (ha ha! Say that out loud!) can't get out. Not ONCE do they think that, hmm, maybe the little buggers will get out the same way Mommy got in - through the giant gaping hole in the bloody floor!! There was more than enough time for some of them to get out before they got toasted.

Mutter mutter curse curse snarl.
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  #17  
Old 06-08-2000, 09:54 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Nobody in this thread or any review has ever stated what seems to me to be very obvious (but then, I wasted my youth watching this stuff) -- the new Godzilla movie wasn't a emake of the Japanese Godzilla movies at all -- it was a remake of "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms" -- Ray Harryhausen's first solo film (ostensibly-but-not-really based on a story by his high school friend, Ray Bradbury), and arguably the first 1950's monster flick. "Beast" effectively created the 1950s Radioactive Creature Runs Amok Through the City genre. (And it wasn't a cliche then. This as the First one.)

Consider:

1.) Creature awakened or created by atomic bomb
2.) signs of the giant creature are seen as it makes its way to New York City -- attacking settlements, ships, etc.
3.) The Creature goes to New York City -- a major, human-infested area, not attractive to monsters or other beasts -- because it is looking to breed/nest.
4.) The creature is lost by the military (Lost!!!! Desite its great size. Despite the presence of all those willing witnesses in the city!)
5.) The Crature is finaly immobilized in a New York City landmark (Coney Island Rollercoaster or Brooklyn Bridge) and then shot.

The Japanese Godzilla, by contrast, agrees only with points #1 and 2. When Godzilla evades the military, he drops into Tokyo Bay, which is where he gets killed by an "oxygen destroyer" (how that dissolves his body never was clear to me). It's never made clear why he ever went to Tokyo. Maybe he wanted to visit the Ginza.
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  #18  
Old 06-09-2000, 08:05 PM
GreenEyes GreenEyes is offline
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Two words..
Matthew Broderick

Why is this man famous?
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  #19  
Old 06-09-2000, 08:11 PM
tracer tracer is offline
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Obvious Guy wrote:

Quote:
*Godzilla looked too much like a dinosaur. That might as well used Barney.
Yeah! The real Godzilla has a face somewhat reminiscent of an ugly dog. The Devlin/Emmerich Godzilla's face looked like the aliens from the [I]Alien[/B] movies, except without the second jaw.

Quote:
*I didn't hear the traditional Godzilla roar enough.
"Enough?" Hell. They didn't even get the roar right when they did it! It's supposed to sound like this:

Nee-EEEEEE! Neoooooow, doodooloodooloo!

But in the Devlin/Emmerich 1998 Godzilla, it sounded more like an aggravated beer burp. FEH!
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