All rise (?)

Why is it that we, men, frequently have an erection when we wake up in the morning? If the matter has already been touched upon by Dopers in the past, my apologies: just...point the way

I believe that men often get erections during REM sleep. If you wake up while dreaming or immediately afterwards, things haven't quite subsided.

Also, sexual hormones peak in the morning.

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Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again

I, too, have read that this occurs during the R.E.M. phase, which usually closely precedes the moment you wake up. But what relation is there between R.E.M. (dream) and the erection, unless any type of dream (be it erotic or otherwise) produces this type of response?

'touched upon it' & 'point the way, eh?'

Lots of reasons, full bladder, sexy dreams, naked woman[s] next to you.

Didn't some researcher conclude men have around 40 erections per night? You know they have a machine,a penisioglometer [can't speel it of course], put it around the penis and it informs whomever that who ever its attached to is getting an erection.

You remember them if you wake up having one, which most do cause they have to wake up eventually. I believe some guy did a famous photograph called 'teenage lust' and it was a teenager sleeping and having an erection. Gotta watch for cameras.

Hmm, I don't know why or how, but there is an amazing morning wood every morning. I can't remember dreaming about anything. And I do wake up alone...

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Cogito Ergo Vroom
I think therefore I ride fast...

Adults (and I assume this to mean anyone over the time of puberty) go through an erotic sleep cycle each night. This is marked by a flush of hormones, and increased flood flow to the genitals and, in women, the breasts. This doesn't mean that you'll necessarily have erotic dreams every night, but rather that your body goes through this physical cycle.

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"I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn't."

It's there, all right. But most of the time I'm not really in the mood to use it. I just wanna go pee.
Now, AFTER I drain my bladder...
Peace,
mangeorge

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Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source???

I've got to learn how to bold.
Thanks,
mangeorge

Exercise! Or could it be just stretching?

It really is a pain and conficts with urination. After an extended night of drinking, the next morning I have to go really bad and the erection just will not go down, even if I think nothing but baseball.

So I use the ten feet away from the toilet approach and hyperbolically get about 50% into the bowl.



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

I like your mastery of imagery, beeruser

And God help the man peeing with a morning wood/split stream combo. That's why those magazines in the rack near the toilet always get wrinkley.

The way I heard it was that the kidneys keep working as you sleep. And of course, as the kidneys work (especially after a beer blast or something) the bladder fills. Well, the bladder is somewhat similar to a balloon, in that it enlarges as it fills. Sometimes it gets large enough to nudge the prostate gland, stimulating that enough to cause our friend, the morning wood. I won't discount the added effect from dreaming about Claudia Shiffer, but I think it's mostly due to physiological causes.

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Ranger Jeff
The Idol of American Youth

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Ranger: the "bladder theory" would account for a very partial number of instances in my case. More often than not, I don't especially feel the need to urinate when I wake up, but there it is nevertheless...

Beeruser: one way of solving your problem would be to let the "feminine side" in you take over, if only temporarily, in the anonymity of your bathroom

I see you've never tried to urinate sitting down with an erection.

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"I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn't."

Jophiel: Needs a bit of manipulation and dexterity, but it CAN be done

Yeah, but it gets all wet.
Peace,
mangeorge

Thanks for the advice, omniscient. I'll try the feminine approach, although I think it might be painful...



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

You've got to go a little beyond the merely feminine and also bend forward sharply. Pretend you have a nice book to read right between your feet.

Not painful, but awkward and uncomfortable. Other positions are also possible, but having handgrips attached near the toilet would facilitate things.

jens:

bend forward sharply.

Please tell me you are referring to bending from the waist, and not the ... er... member.

It has always been my contention that every house should include a urinal. Much more practical. Not to mention ridding ourselves of the male vs. female toilet seat struggle.

"It has always been my contention that every house should include a urinal. Much more practical. Not to mention ridding ourselves of the male vs. female toilet seat struggle."
---sly
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Yea to that, sly. Nice and simple.
The house I lived in as a kid had a urinal in the garage. What a boon this must have been to my mother, with five boys and all their friends playing in the back yard every day.
Urinals have recently become a fashionable accessory in new homes and remodels.
Pretty cool, whatever the reason.
Peace,
mangeorge


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Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source???

Great idea, Sly. Put my vote in for urinals, too.



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

Maybe it's a test.All systems working. Then one day, it may not work anymore. Then you can tell your mate:look honey, it doesn't work anymore.See, it wasn't anything to do with you so much.

Come to think of it, I like urinals a lot. All you have to do is get close, then let 'er rip while you stand there and daydream, staring off into space. No need to aim or nothing. You don't even have to hold on to it, unless you want to. Just like outdoors.
How cool can it get?
Hey, guys, let's write to our congresspersons. Or vote for me!
I promise a "Pisser In Every Squat". (PIES)
Peace,
mangeorge

Oh, yeah? well, I hate urinals, and always have, for a simple reason: I'm terribly piss-shy. *blush* It's most embarrassing.

And as for the reason why you wake up with an erection: your penis is tired and confused, and doesn't know whether it's coming or going. *badum-bum*

Urinals are for when you "gotta" go. If you're just trying to squeeze some more out before you hit the road, you use a stall.I don't think anybody cares which you use, our system is still faster than the "ladies' room". I don't want to start a war, and I know why they have a couch, but still...

Sly: the waist. It may be a larger thing to have to bend, but it is much more flexible, and has the side-effect of bending everything attached.

Down with urinals. Whoever invented them obviously was either female or just didn't wear shorts very often.

For you ladies in the audience, wearing shorts while using most of the urinals in existence, no matter where you aim, makes you keenly aware of a light mist hitting your legs. The only designs that are the exception to this rule seem to be the ones that extend all the way to the floor, allowing you to aim low so the stream hits the back of the fixture with a low angle of incidence.

I should start a letter-writing campaign to American Standard or something.

A urinal in the garage, mg? That consisted of.. a funnel with a length of garden hose pointing outdoors through a hole in the clapboard?

When I was a kid, we had a urinal in the basement. It was called a "laundry sink."

The solution: European urinals, which look like a giant tilted flower vase.
Or the original whole wall urinals you still see at some stadiums.

This topic has gone limp, or at least down the urinal.But one more unanswered question from another topic:

Neobican
Member posted 05-31-99 05:12 PM
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Sort of a funny story... Unknown to me, my mother had left toilet bowl cleaner in the bowl,(I am not sure what it was, maybe bleach) when I relieved myself in said bowl, a chemical reaction took place in where some gas was released but not noticeable. I ALMOST passed out, I just barely got done in time to keep myself off the floor. I thought I read somewhere about this reaction that involves urine, anyone know?

o.k I asked my doc. about this once here is what he told me. When you sleep your whole body relaxes, even your penis. Blood then runs into your now relaxed member since there is nothing stopping it. Now the real queston. My wife saw me peeing one morning and I got a split stream. She started to panic and thought that it was broke. After letting her know it happons all the time she asked... "why?" So I ask you guys... "why?"


(btw sorry about my spelling I can't seem to think straight today )

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no matter where you go...there you are

"A urinal in the garage, mg? That consisted of.. a funnel with a length of garden hose pointing outdoors through a hole in the clapboard?"
---Nickrz
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No, Nick, it was a real urinal. There was a sink, too. No toilet, though. Don't ask me why.
Peace,mangeorge

Speaking of the urinal to bowl cleaner reaction there is a ring burned into the bowl of my commode where my roommate left cleaner in it over night and I got up in the middle of the night to relieve my bladder(neglecting to flush)
the combined chemicals ATE PORCELINE ouch

To answer the OP, the "morning wood" functions as a kick-stand to keep you from rolling over onto your stomach, which can be dangerous. See http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/001388.html .

Eureka!! Strainger just answered the funtion of boobs thread as well!

http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/001303.html

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

OK..I have a question about the "morning wood" thing...is it the same as a "sexual wood" ? What I mean by that is can it be used...or does it just need to be relieved, by peeing I mean??

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Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living......

in response to the evil toilet cleaner fumes.

Urine contains: Ammonia
(not that much, but still)

Toilet bowl cleaner contains: Bleach
(usually for sanitization)

Ammonia+Bleach = poison gas (I believe hydroclorchic acid gas) DO NOT INHALE.

And while you're at it, never mix household cleaners without checking to make sure there is no ammonia/bleach combination.

Tigs:

the "morning wood" thing...can it be used [sexually]?

Well...yeah!! As long as you have your girlfriend and/or wife next to you, of course! You can use it sexually on your own too, but you probably learned that when you were 12.

My plumbing does not exactly "show" me how that works (female) thats why I had to ask...Thank you Strainger

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Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living......

Sorry, Tigs. The personal profiles on this MB are so damn vague, and I couldn't check the TM Homepage since it's down right now.

An aside:
The word of the day is MISDIRECTION.

"This mornining - after my girlfriend had already gone to work - I woke up with a major woody. Later, I called my girlfriend and told her about it. She was pissed. She hates to hear about a MISDIRECTION."

Although I guess I could've checked your homepage!

So I ask you guys... "why?"

My theory on the split-stream is that the inside of your pants is a dark, humid, and often compacted place. You know how, if you sit down shirtless on a leather couch for a long period of time, you tend to stick to the leather when you get up? The same thing happens to the skin around the urethra. This pinched-off exit causes the familiar split-stream.

As for morning wood... the Morning Wood Fairy brings it. Don't you people watch Beavis and Butthead?

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"If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading" --Quid's Theorem

HAHAHAHA...nooo problem Strainger. It was an innocent "misdirection"

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Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living......