A bottle of wine BUT not for drinking!

[calm kiwi]

My mother went on holiday last week. I was has happy she was having a holiday. She deserved it. She asked me to look after her dog and cat. No problem! I love the dog and I don't hate the cat.

They (her and her friend) had a wonderful time. It was a walking tour in a region of New Zealand. They wandered along beaches, they saw seals, they roamed over farmland, they met cool people, they stayed in nice places (and had their luggage meet them at the next place) and they visited a vineyard or two. A jolly good time had by all.

When mum arrived home she said "I bought you a present" and gave me a bottle of wine. My mother is a bit of a wine snob. I am not. I usually drink two bottles a week (yes far too much!) and tend to spend NZ$10-15 on a bottle, a perfectly presentable drop but nothing that will send the wine reviewers into spasms of delight.

So mum gives me the bottle of wine along with this gem "It was expensive! It's not just to drink"

Tonight she rang me just to check I hadn't opened it because "it was expensive and it's not just for drinking!".

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!". At the best of times she is a skinflint, I bet the bottle didn't cost more then twenty dollars (NZ) but FUCK IT IS A BOTTLE OF WINE!!! What am I supposed to do with it!!!!!! Frame it? Put it aside to crown the head of my first grandchild? Crack it over the bow of a ship? Use it to cook something spectacular? Put it in the wine rack under a large arrow pointing out it's price? Wait till a visiting dignitary pops in? Cart it around as an "expensive" accessory?

At this stage I am very tempted to give it to her dog. I reckon a pissed Airedale could be amusing.

Am I being unreasonable if I just drink the fucking thing and revel in the fact that it was "expensive"? Or should I just go with my instincts and tell her that is JUST A FUCKING BOTTLE OF WINE and she needs to learn how to give a present and SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologise for the exclamation marks but it helped. I am calm again

Now tell me stories about presents that gave you more grief then happy-happy-joy-joy (or am I alone?).

[Starving Artist]

I don't think two bottles of wine a week is too much. Being a vinophile myself, and one who can easily put away a bottle in a matter of hours while simply reading a book (although I do this rarely; I probably average two to three bottles a week), I did a little calculating to try to determine if I was overdoing it.

Now, assuming the typical 750ml bottle of wine is roughly 26 oz., and has an alcohol content of 10%, that works out to only 2.6 oz. of alcohol from an entire bottle, or roughly the equivalent of drinking three Bombay Sapphire gin martinis. So, if you're drinking two bottles a week, you're only drinking the alcohol equivalent of about one martini (or most other mixed drinks) a day.

As far as you mom goes, perhaps she's thinking it should be saved for a special occasion. (Given that she's a wine snob, I imagine she knows that it can't be opened and used sporadically for cooking or over several holiday periods without its becoming oxidized.) Either that or she thinks you should just display it in order to impress other wine snobs.

I'd just ask her what she has in mind and then if it doesn't suit you, you can always say that you rarely have an opportunity to enjoy such a 'fine' wine and that you're going to go ahead and treat yourself accordingly.

P.S.: Have you Googled the wine? If you truly do have a really expensive and nice bottle of wine there, you might want to save it for a special occasion yourself...you know, like for whenever I might make it to NZ.

Sorry about the slight hijack and not offering a tale of my own, but, what the hey!...nobody else is here this time of morning.

[calm kiwi]

Originally Posted by Starving Artist

P.S.: Have you Googled the wine? If you truly do have a really expensive and nice bottle of wine there, you might want to save it for a special occasion yourself...you know, like for whenever I might make it to NZ.

I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I'm only allowed to look!) bad news! It's a Reisling. My mother IS a skinflint!

New Zealand does good Sauvignon Blanc and even a decent Chardonnay but Reisling? Nope my mother is a cheap arse control freak

If you ever visit NZ, I will find you a good wine and I won't tell you it was expensive (we have plenty....I strongly doubt the bottle I have is one of them)

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by calm kiwi

I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I'm only allowed to look!) bad news! It's a Reisling.

Please forgive my presumption, but do you know of the Google search engine? I assumed it was available the world over but it sounds like you're not familiar with it. (Or am I being whooshed? )

Originally Posted by calm kiwi

If you ever visit NZ, I will find you a good wine and I won't tell you it was expensive

Fair enough.

[BiblioCat]

That's funny; I had no idea my mother had moved to New Zealand.
Or that calm kiwi was my sibling, apparently.


My mother gives us gift certificates to area restaurants for Christmas and birthdays - with the caution that, "It's not just for eating out! Save it for something special!"
Well, if it's not for eating out, WTF is it for?

You know what? It's been a long week, a sucky week at work, and I don't feel like cooking. I do feel like having a Blooming Onion, a steak the size of my head and a couple of beers, and the wonderful feeling of knowing I can plunk down a gift certificate and not have to pay for it.
Hey, whadda ya know? It's a 'Special Occasion'!

[Banquet Bear]

Originally Posted by calm kiwi

I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I'm only allowed to look!) bad news! It's a Reisling. My mother IS a skinflint!

New Zealand does good Sauvignon Blanc and even a decent Chardonnay but Reisling? Nope my mother is a cheap arse control freak

If you ever visit NZ, I will find you a good wine and I won't tell you it was expensive (we have plenty....I strongly doubt the bottle I have is one of them)

...great, calm kiwi and Starving Artist, two of my favourite posters, in the same thread! I must contribute...kiwi, what vintage was on the bottle? What region was she touring and what was the Vineyard?

I didn't know you were into the wine Starving, so I now take back my offer of a Steinlager, and now offer you a glass of Kim Crawford 2004 Tietjen Briant Gisborne Chardonnay. instead. I'm not at all a big wine drinker, but I'm stuck in an industry where knowing a little bit about wine is part of the job...

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by Banquet Bear

...great, calm kiwi and Starving Artist, two of my favourite posters, in the same thread! I must contribute...kiwi, what vintage was on the bottle? What region was she touring and what was the Vineyard?

I didn't know you were into the wine Starving, so I now take back my offer of a Steinlager, and now offer you a glass of Kim Crawford 2004 Tietjen Briant Gisborne Chardonnay. instead. I'm not at all a big wine drinker, but I'm stuck in an industry where knowing a little bit about wine is part of the job...

Sounds great, my friend! Thanks for both the compliment and the wine.

I'm not familiar with that particular Chardonnay but I'm sure it's quite good; New Zealand is developing an excellent reputation for wine production these days.

I'm presuming the Steinlager would still be your drink of choice? After all, no one says a beer drinker and a wine drinker can't sit together in fellowship and good cheer (until the beer drinker falls off his stool that is.)

[Banquet Bear]

Originally Posted by Starving Artist

Sounds great, my friend! Thanks for both the compliment and the wine.

I'm not familiar with that particular Chardonnay but I'm sure it's quite good; New Zealand is developing an excellent reputation for wine production these days.

I'm presuming the Steinlager would still be your drink of choice? After all, no one says a beer drinker and a wine drinker can't sit together in fellowship and good cheer (until the beer drinker falls off his stool that is.)

...actually my favourite tipple would be DB Export Dry, an easy drinking beer that isn't really that exciting, and has slowly disappeared from NZ pubs over the years, but is pretty easy drinking.

[calm kiwi]

Originally Posted by Banquet Bear

What vintage was on the bottle? What region was she touring and what was the Vineyard?

That was the lame part! She went to Martinborough and bought back a "Coney 2004 Riesling". If it cost more then 20 bucks I will eat my........Reisling!

She's a red wine drinker, she knows not the sweet shite she gave me

[Sri Theo]

Did no one else find it incredibly funny that one of Banquet Bears favourite posters is Starving Artist?

[Banquet Bear]

Originally Posted by calm kiwi

That was the lame part! She went to Martinborough and bought back a "Coney 2004 Riesling". If it cost more then 20 bucks I will eat my........Reisling!

She's a red wine drinker, she knows not the sweet shite she gave me

Ha! It actually looks like a very good winery, although I haven't heard much about them. (Scroll down for the tasting notes on the 2004)
http://coneywines.co.nz/pag4.asp

...and at Restaurant Prices, she sells for about $40.00, which, using the standard restaurant formula of doubling the retail price, means that yes, it cost more than 20 bucks!!!
http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache...z&ct=clnk&cd=9

[Stranger On A Train]

Originally Posted by calm kiwi

I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I'm only allowed to look!) bad news! It's a Reisling. My mother IS a skinflint!

There are expensive Rieslings to be had, and as there is a significant portion of oenophiles who eagerly consume this varietal I assume there are some very good ones, though I'm personally not much for sweet wines.

Rieslings aren't collectable wines, though. The high sugar content and low initial tannins make them unsuited to long-term aging. Except for the eiswiens (desert wines that are processed to remove water and concentrate the sugars) they should be consumed within a few years of bottling, so your mother's cryptic comment about it not being "a bottle to drink" is confusing to say the least.

I vote for drinking the wine and then admitting to having succombed to temptation. I'm not much of one for maintaining a collection of undrinkable wines in any case; wine is meant to be drunk.

I'll also take this opportunity to get up on my hobbyhorse and rail again against screwtops on good wine. It may be more convenient, but damnit, I like the ceremony of removing the cork. Kids these days...

Stranger

[ivylass]

Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train

Except for the eiswiens (desert wines that are processed to remove water and concentrate the sugars)

I always thought they were ice wines.

Huh. Learn something new every day.

Seriously, ask your mom what you're supposed to save it for. Maybe she wants to share it with you?

[Stranger On A Train]

Originally Posted by ivylass

I always thought they were ice wines.

Er, they are. That's just the German spelling of it, but it means the same (and for all intents and purposes, sounds the same as well.) I'm not sure about the etymology; I suppose, being sweet wines they must be served cold, i.e. on ice. Personally, I like a nice, lightly chilled (60F) pinot or a room temperature sangiovese, but to each his own.

Stranger

[Excalibre]

Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train

I'll also take this opportunity to get up on my hobbyhorse and rail again against screwtops on good wine. It may be more convenient, but damnit, I like the ceremony of removing the cork. Kids these days...

Peeling off the foil . . . sticking in the corkscrew . . . pulling it out . . . inhaling that unmistakeable aroma . . . realizing it's corked . . . cursing . . .

Giving up on wine and drinking Listerine instead . . .

It's WAY more than just convenience. We've used up the good cork; it's more and more common to have wine ruined by a bad cork.

[calm kiwi]

Originally Posted by Excalibre

Peeling off the foil . . . sticking in the corkscrew . . . pulling it out . . . inhaling that unmistakeable aroma . . . realizing it's corked . . . cursing . . .

Giving up on wine and drinking Listerine instead . . .

It's WAY more than just convenience. We've used up the good cork; it's more and more common to have wine ruined by a bad cork.

Another bonus of screw top wine is not having to take a cork screw to a picnic.

[saoirse]

Originally Posted by Starving Artist

Being a vinophile myself...

[nutpick]That's oenophile. [/knitpick]

[tdn]

Originally Posted by saoirse

[nutpick]That's oenophile. [/knitpick]

That's sick, and you should be arrested. It's not like the oen can give consent.

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by saoirse

[nutpick]That's oenophile. [/knitpick]

Thanks. I knew I was treading on thin ice but it sounded good and I was too tired at the time to research it.

[John Mace]

Sounds like mum was saying it's not just for getting drunk. So, savor it well, and then get drunk!

Two bottles a week is hardly too much, calm kiwi. Sounds pretty moderate to me.

[velvetjones]

Originally Posted by John Mace

Two bottles a week is hardly too much, calm kiwi. Sounds pretty moderate to me.

So, two bottles a night would be too much then? Hmmm.... I'm going to have to look into that.

[indecisive1]

Maybe you could throw The Wine a dinner party. Clean the whole house, make a fancy meal, wear your best clothes. Set a place at the head of the table for The Wine. Then propose a toast, and guzzle the guest of honor straight from the bottle!

[don't ask]

It's not that vaginal douche wine is it?

[kanicbird]

You can always re-gift it.

Or if it is really expensive stuff Ebay it and use the money for wine you can actually drink.

[Q.N. Jones]

Have you asked her why it's "not just for drinking"--? She might mean you are supposed to save it for a special occasion.

Two bottles a week isn't too much. Two glasses of wine a day is good for you, and there are only 4-6 glasses per bottle.

[lieu]

What Stranger said. There's an optimal interval within which wines should be drunk, unless it's an exceptional collectable saved as an investment. This doesn't sound like such.

Choose either a celebratory event of when someone is visiting that appreciates a good wine and just enjoy the dang thing. You don't want to become the 40 year old wine virgin.

[Smeghead]

If it's not for drinking, try snorting it.

[jacquilynne]

Personally, I'd use it to make a dessert risotto, and if she asks about it, say 'You said it wasn't for drinking. I assumed that meant it was plonk and used it for cooking.'

(Note: I don't actually cook with wine I wouldn't drink.)