Hey! I'm workin' here!

[LucyInDisguise]

What? Did you think I was just taking in the sights? Me and my 80,000 pound truck? Or maybe you think I just didn't have anything better to do today than to get in your way?

You there, in the Mercedes! Did you see the sign back there? The one that said 'Trucks Use Left Lane Next 15 Miles'? If you weren't intellectually outclassed by dead sheep you'd be able to figure out that you can flash your lights at me for the next 14 miles and I still won't move over. I'm in this lane because the law requires me to be here. The lanes on the Interstate have been reversed for this 15 mile strech. Pass on the right. Ohhh, so, now you're going to tail gate me. Hmmm. If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's go-cart around the inside of a bottle cap. Your car weighs, what -- maybe 1800 pounds? This truck weighs in at 80,000 pounds. More than forty times heavier. Do you really think you can intimidate me into moving over? You're so ignorant that the elephants at your local zoo throw you peanuts. Well, now that's intelligent! Gonna teach me a lesson by pulling back in just one car length in front of me, huh? Look, the space in front of my truck is there for me to stop in. It is not there for you to drive in. Do you realize that I can't even see your brake lights? If you had to stop fast you'd just be a little speed bump in my life. (Thump - Thump)

And You. Yeah, you in the little red sports buggy, you monstrously ill-mannered, reprehensible, enema-addicted plague upon humanity. Don't be honking your horn at me. Yeah, I know you can probably see okay, but it's raining, and my mirrors are covered with water. Do you think that if your brain cells weren't on the Endangered Species list it might occur to you that maybe I can't see you in my mirrors? Try turning on your headlights. Ohhh, theeeerrrrrre yyyyoooouuuu aaarrrreee. Guess maybe I won't complete this lane change for a minute. Wellllll, come on ... oh for cryin' out loud ... I'm coming up on slower moving traffic and I need to move over. Will you please move? Either move up, or drop back - I really don't care which - just get out of the way! I initially thought that you were a gibbering idiot. Now, I have a much lower opinion of you. Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the gobbledygook in there?

Hey, you in the monster SUV. You are a miserably demented grotesque urine-reeking display that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. Yeah, I know I'm only doing 35mph in a 75mph zone. I know ya'll got four wheel drive. I know you can get better traction than I can. But have you noticed the white stuff? Has it occured to you that you can't stop any better than anyone else on these icy roads? There's 2" of slushy snow on top of ice here and I'd just really rather not witness your wreck. Oooops. Too late.

(This is kinda fun ...)

Ohhh, look at you. What, are you prescient? Or is that little pickup truck equiped with ground penetrating radar? No? Then you lack even the dim flicker of sentience needed to qualify as a imbecile. I'm sitting six feet higher than you are, and I can't see far enough over this hill to see if it's safe to pass. Maybe you forgot this is a narrow, two lane road and not an Interstate highway. There might be on-coming traffic in that lane at any moment. That's what those two solid yellow lines and the sign that says 'NO PASSING ZONE' are trying to tell you. Ooops. There is a car coming. No, I'm afraid it won't do any good for me to try to slow down to let you in - that other car will be here before I can slow this truck down by even 5 mph. I guess you're going to have to hit your breaks and fall back in behind me. Sorry I'm only doing the speed limit. Gotta tell ya, you're an inspiration to botched lobotomy patients everywhere.

Ohhh, now that's a cute little manuver. You see an 80,000 truck coming at you at 50 mph and you decide it will be okay to pull out in front of it. Seventy feet in front of it. Did you sleep through your high school physics class? I will use up 70 feet of roadway just getting this thing down to 40 mph. I hope that Honda is really a top fuel dragster in disguise, cause if it isn't, one of us is going to get hurt (let's see, 1500 pound Honda Civic vs. 80,000 pound Kenworth ... nope, don't think it's going to be me). Naw, guess I'll have to lock it up. 102 feet of skid marks from eighteen tires curving into the right hand emergency lane. Missed ya by, well, I couldn't see how close I came to hitting your car. I was kinda busy at the time. But it couldn't have been by much. And you just drive off, secure in the knowledge that you are so dense that light bends around you, and blissfully unaware that you just made me square off eighteen tires. That's eighteen tires that will have to be replaced. At $300.00 each (does not include mounting). That's more than $5400.00 damage to this rig and I didn't even get your insurance information.

And what is this little beauty up to? Trippin' along at 4 mph under the speed limit. Okay, that's cool. Pull out into the hammer lane to pass. Hmmmmm. You seem to have realized that you were going a little slow and have sped up now. Okay, that's cool, too. Pull back into the travel lane behind you. Hmmmm. You seem to be slowing back down to four under again. Pull out into the hammer lane to pass. Hmmmmm. You seem to have realized that you were going a little slow and have sped up now. Pull back into the travel lane behind you. Hmmmm. Four under again. Oh, joy. Another rousing game of 'Don't Let The Semi Pass'. That's alright though. I used to play by your rules, but not any more. Reset my cruise control at 74. Stay in the travel lane. Look at the passing scenery. Ignore the fact that you even exist. Maybe you will wake up the dozy, peg-legged hamster operating that wheel-powered brain of yours and move over. Or speed up and maintain your speed. Or let me pass. Or I will just close the gap and push you up to speed. It don't matter to me. Our relationship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. Guess which one you are ...

And here comes the RV from Hell! That thing is nearly as big as my truck! I have to pass a physical exam every two years. I have to take extensive written and skill tests to obtain and maintain my Commercial Driver License. And here you are, a Little Old Retired Insurance Salesman -- you are not required to pass any special test to drive that thing, haven't had a proper physical in years (and you're probably just one order of french fries short of a stroke), you have no clue what the clearances are on your vehicle, hell, you can't even see over the steering wheel. You refuse to drive more than 10 mph under the speed limit. And you have the gall to get upset because I need to pass you on this hill? You are a precociously revolting simple-minded inflictor of misery on all who cross your path.

Let's see, did I leave anyone out?

Oh, yeah. "The Truck Drivers".

Swift. The most inappropriately named trucking company in the universe. (And don't blame the drivers. 10 under the speed limit is company policy.) 'Nuff said.

You in the super car. If he were to look at you, Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. I know you're rig can do 100+ mph. That does not mean that it is a good plan to do so. You need not demonstrate for me. I will not be impressed. It will merely confirm my suspicion that when your parents pulled you out of the shallow end of the gene pool, the lifeguard threw you back in. You think you're soooo coool. You're not. You're dangerous. You're so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you. You deserve to loose your license. Go get a job where you can do something that will impress people. Like trying to become a magician. Then just disappear.

And you, Rookie. The truck in front of you is going just 1 mph slower than you are on this grade. So you look in your mirror, see that there are 14 vehicles doing 75 mph coming up on you. What do you do? You pull out to pass the slower truck. I wouldn't mind if you had the horsepower or the RPMs to get the job done but you don't. Even when you see all that traffic piling up behind you, you can't do the courteous thing and drop back and pull back into the right lane. You're just going to ensure that everybody is going to climb this hill at the same rate that you do, aren't ya? Look, you're less than 2 miles from the summit. Following the slower truck will get you there 1 minute and 15 seconds later. It's not going to kill you. You'll probably waste more time than that at the next truck stop. Sit there. Be patient. Learn to do some math.

And you, pulling the empty flatbed. We're four miles from the base of the hill. You can see the hill coming up. Don't be screaming at me on the CB for cutting you off. Pay attention: there are four loaded trucks jockeying for the best position to climb the hill so that we won't have to keep passing each other and restricting traffic once we start up the hill. Slow down a bit and let me get passed the 2 heavier trucks in front of me. You can regain you speed in a flat minute.

Thank you. That was very therapeutic. There are more, but this is getting way too long.

Okay. The floor is open for discussion and questions.

Go ahead.

Ask the Professional Driver.

If you have the guts.

I double-dog-dare you.

Lucy

[El_Kabong]

OK, that was pretty good. Now, let's hear about all the times you fucked up or got in someone's way while driving.

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by El_Kabong

OK, that was pretty good. Now, let's hear about all the times you fucked up...

Back in the 'Rookie Days', and even my 'Truck Driver' phase, plenty. That's how you learn. Yet, I'm proud of the fact not once in the last 5 years has anyone 'flipped me off' for being rude or discourteous.

... or got in someone's way while driving.

I'm a Professional Driver. It's my job to get in your way!

Lucy

[phungi]

You had me on "What" but earned my respect with "Gotta tell ya, you're an inspiration to botched lobotomy patients everywhere."

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by phungi

You had me on "What" but earned my respect with "Gotta tell ya, you're an inspiration to botched lobotomy patients everywhere."

::aahhh, shucks::

[bobkitty]

There needs to be a special catagory for logging trucks. The ones who drive 60MPH in the middle of rural roads, and even if they see you coming in the other direction refuse to move over into their lane until the verylastsecondpossible, thereby forcing you onto the gravel-and-grass shoulder and giving you a heart attack.

[Tinkertoy]

Lucy thanks for saying it better than I ever could. It's not my job but my husband's. It scares the hell out of me when I'm riding with him, even though I know he's an expert, when I see some of the shit that happens.
Yet when those four wheeler's break down or have an accident it’s usually the trucker that stops to help. My husband has helped put out cars on fire, called ambulances and stayed with the dead body of a nineteen year old until the police arrived.
Keep up the good work.

[Queuing]

Ok, can you explain to me why big rigs insist on passing each other on a highway that has 2 lanes (or 4 lanes, 2 in each direction) when it takes about 5 minutes for them to do so? Is passing a big rig that is going 105 km/h to go 107 km/h really necessary? You get in my fucking way when you do this, take fucking forever to complete your goddamn pass, why the hell is this necessary?

[Taber]

Originally Posted by Queuing

Ok, can you explain to me why big rigs insist on passing each other on a highway that has 2 lanes (or 4 lanes, 2 in each direction) when it takes about 5 minutes for them to do so? Is passing a big rig that is going 105 km/h to go 107 km/h really necessary? You get in my fucking way when you do this, take fucking forever to complete your goddamn pass, why the hell is this necessary?

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

And you, Rookie. The truck in front of you is going just 1 mph slower than you are on this grade. So you look in your mirror, see that there are 14 vehicles doing 75 mph coming up on you. What do you do? You pull out to pass the slower truck. I wouldn't mind if you had the horsepower or the RPMs to get the job done but you don't. Even when you see all that traffic piling up behind you, you can't do the courteous thing and drop back and pull back into the right lane. You're just going to ensure that everybody is going to climb this hill at the same rate that you do, aren't ya? Look, you're less than 2 miles from the summit. Following the slower truck will get you there 1 minute and 15 seconds later. It's not going to kill you. You'll probably waste more time than that at the next truck stop. Sit there. Be patient. Learn to do some math.

it seems th OP is annoyed by truckers who do that too.

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by Queuing

Ok, can you explain to me why big rigs insist on passing each other on a highway that has 2 lanes (or 4 lanes, 2 in each direction) when it takes about 5 minutes for them to do so? Is passing a big rig that is going 105 km/h to go 107 km/h really necessary? You get in my fucking way when you do this, take fucking forever to complete your goddamn pass, why the hell is this necessary?

Originally, I was going to just post an "Ask The" thread in one of the other forums. Then I realized that it would probably turn into a pit thread anyway, so I thought, "why not kill two birds ..." as it were. I think your post proves my point.

One of the things that makes life tough, is it is frequently not fair. In a perfect world, there would be three lanes, and this wouldn't be a problem. This is not a perfect world.

So, since there are only two lanes to deal with, the simple answer to your question is, "Yes, it is necessary." Remember - We're working here.

To elaborate further, most of us get paid by the mile. Each mile we turn in any given hour helps feed the family. More miles/hour = More dollars/hour. Simple equation. You'll note, I hope, that most of us watch our mirrors, and we try to time our pass in such a way as to not hold up other traffic. It's not always possible, but we try. However, if a vehicle is overtaking me at a rate that is well in excess of the posted speed limit (10 or more over) it is sometimes not easy to get the hell out of your way.

[Note: As with any profession, we have trainees, rookies (drivers who haven't quite figured it all out yet), Commercial Drivers, and Professional Drivers. Oh, yeah, and yes, we also suffer those few who just plain don't give a shit. I'm going to try to speak for the first group, and ignore those that are just plain bad dirvers.]

Most of the company or line trucks are governed anywhere between 64mph and 68 mph. Governed means the truck is not capable of traveling faster than the governed speed. My truck is governed at 79 mph. The cruise control will only give me 74 mph. That is how I had the truck spec'ed out. If I initiate a pass to get around a truck that is governed at 68 mph, I must plan on having a space that will allow me 1 minute and 7 seconds to complete the pass. If there is no faster traffic for 2 miles behind me, it's not an issue. If a vehicle comes up on me a little faster than expected, I have 5 mph on the pedal available to help complete the pass a little quicker. My truck is an exception to the rule. Most Drivers don't have that option.

The other side of this, the one no one ever seems to understand is this: We are very heavily regulated by law. The penalties can be very severe. I can only drive for 10 hours in any given 24 hour period. If I have to cover 680 miles in that ten hours in order to deliver my cargo on time, and can only manage an average speed of 68 miles per hour, well, you do the math. On a long run, every single second counts.

The nice thing about your situation is that you can recover your speed in a matter of seconds. However, if there is any upgrade in the five miles ahead, I'll do what ever it takes to get around a slower or heavier truck before I get to the hill. If I'm forced to slow down, it could take me 30 minutes to regain my speed. If I slow you down for 30 seconds (or even 2 or 3 minutes), I know it's annoying. but,well, life's just like that. Sometimes you have to wait in line.

Sorry if that sounds a little snippy ...

but you started it.

::waves at Cowgirl Jules::
Thanx! I know, the user name might be just a little deceptive ... Lucy

[LucyInDisguise]

Tinkertoy, Thanx for the kind words.

My wife has ridden with me twice. The first time she spent 30 minutes in terror before hiding in the sleeper. The second time, she just went directly to the sleeper. Actually, my wife now refuses to even consider the possibility that someday she might ever entertain the idea that someone might suggest that she should ride with me in the big truck again. If someone were to be silly enough to suggest such a thing, I sincerely believe that she would physically attack them.

I once took an airline pilot out for a drive to see if he had what it takes to do this for a living. (He was having health issues - his days as a pilot were numbered.) We went 26 miles from North Salt Lake City, UT to Sandy, UT on I-15 at 2:30 PM (not even rush hour yet!) He asked me to exit the freeway. He called Yellow Cab and went home. Said he thought flying a plane for a living was tough. Air traffic controlers tend to keep other flying things at least one mile away. Four-wheelers seem to think that 30 feet is more than enoungh room. Sheesh ... what a wimp.

Curious: does your husband dirve Long Haul, regional or local?

[Tinkertoy]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Tinkertoy Curious: does your husband dirve Long Haul, regional or local?

The western 10 states. I'm sure since you're location says Nevada that you've seen plenty of those red and black Montana Express trucks. Hubby's been with them for about 11 years.
I go out with him about 3 weeks a year. Do alright until we hit California, then I hit the sleeper or stick in ear plugs (blocks out the yelling and swearing) and put a magazine in front of my face.

[Epimetheus]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

I'm a Professional Driver. It's my job to get in your way!
Lucy

Hehe, not to have you take this personally, but I sort of figured you truckers had this attitude.

I can understand a lot, but one thing just pisses me off to no end..

When you pass ANOTHER truck, it helps to actually go faster than the other truck....

You know, to pass. If the truck was going so much slower than you that you had to pass, why the hell do you slow down when passing. Other than to piss off the rest of the world stuck behind you for the next 5 miles? (general you of course)

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by Epimetheus

Hehe, not to have you take this personally, but I sort of figured you truckers had this attitude.

I can understand a lot, but one thing just pisses me off to no end..

When you pass ANOTHER truck, it helps to actually go faster than the other truck....

You know, to pass. If the truck was going so much slower than you that you had to pass, why the hell do you slow down when passing. Other than to piss off the rest of the world stuck behind you for the next 5 miles? (general you of course)

The 'get in your way' comment was a joke. Or is this a woosh? I'll take the woosh and raise you one ...

I was going to make a smart-assed remark about re-reading post #16, where I've already addressed this issue, then I noticed the "... why the hell do you slow down when passing ... " comment and saw an opportunity there.

Sometimes, especially on a steep grade, it is possible that a driver can miscalculate their ability to overtake a slower moving truck. Or maybe even miss a gear while downshifting. Properly, the Driver should fall back and pull back to the right. If he or she doesn't, they're probably an inexperienced rookie (see my OP), or an incondisiderate asshole.

There is one other possibility. Review in your mind for a moment what your driving has been like in the last 15 miles or so. Were you recently playing "Don't Let The Semi Pass"? We know how to play the payback game (although I won't do it if an innocent party might also suffer). And we're better at it than you are. For those of you who are so inclined, the blade cuts both ways ...

[Epimetheus]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Sometimes, especially on a steep grade, it is possible that a driver can miscalculate their ability to overtake a slower moving truck. Or maybe even miss a gear while downshifting. Properly, the Driver should fall back and pull back to the right. If he or she doesn't, they're probably an inexperienced rookie (see my OP), or an incondisiderate asshole.

Or they are just one of those people that don't consider the consequences of their actions. I am not, by the way, refering to a truck on a steep grade. I am enough of an understanding guy to realize that in such instances they are not at fault.

There is one other possibility. Review in your mind for a moment what your driving has been like in the last 15 miles or so. Were you recently playing "Don't Let The Semi Pass"? We know how to play the payback game (although I won't do it if an innocent party might also suffer). And we're better at it than you are. For those of you who are so inclined, the blade cuts both ways ...

Well, I am not totally naive, and don't ever, ever fuck with a trucker. I know they communicate with others, and pass on information (like "that red car" is fucking around, lets play a game with him/her). I don't want to travel 10 miles up the road just to be penned in by somebody that is feeling vindictive due to poor driving attitudes.

[Mince]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

There is one other possibility. Review in your mind for a moment what your driving has been like in the last 15 miles or so. Were you recently playing "Don't Let The Semi Pass"? We know how to play the payback game (although I won't do it if an innocent party might also suffer). And we're better at it than you are. For those of you who are so inclined, the blade cuts both ways ...

Jesus, this is scary. No. I have NEVER played "Don't Let The [insert style of driver or type of vehicle here] Pass." They never taught me this game in Driver's Education; and I'll be damned if I can find it in the Illinois Rules of the Road manual or IDOT website. Have you ever played the "I Should Really Just Swallow My Pride Because Any Consequent Retributive Action I Take Could Very Easily Ruin People's Lives, Mine Among Them" game?

[duffer]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Swift. The most inappropriately named trucking company in the universe. (And don't blame the drivers. 10 under the speed limit is company policy.) 'Nuff said.

Another thing many don't know is that Swift governs the engines at 57 m.p.h. (Or at least they did when I was driving. They may have bumped it to 62. I think Schneider does it as well.)

Much better rant than I could have ever written. Thanks!


Queuing, your attitude is what causes most of the accidents. Keep it up, when the laws are changed I'll renew my CDL.

[Queuing]

Originally Posted by duffer

Queuing, your attitude is what causes most of the accidents. Keep it up, when the laws are changed I'll renew my CDL.

My attitude? You mean the one where big trucks pull out for no apparent reason, into a lane that is meant for faster cars (there are even signs all over the highway that say slower traffice keep right), and take forever to pass? How is this going to cause an accident that is MY fault? I don't tailgate, I don't weave, all I do is sigh, swear and wonder what the fuck the reason is for the actions of the big rigs?

Hey I would love the laws to change, and maybe force the goddamn big rig drivers, who all say stuff like the OP, I am in charge of a giant machine maybe you should watch for me? The responsibilities aren't solely the car drivers, you are in charge of a giant machine, don't do dumb ass things solely to gain a minute or two that pisses off people who can drive much faster then you, and therefore make the roads more dangerous for all who must share them.

That being said I know truck drivers have a rough job, there a lot of idiots out there. Don't try to say none of them are you, or that its all rookies. Truck drivers do many stupid fucking things, one which I have outlined, another I see all teh damn time is inability to stay completely in ones lane. Not just at corners either.

Don't do me any favours, don't renew your licence, don't want to see you on the road anyway.

[E-Sabbath]

Hey, buuuu-dy. You in the Semi. You know, I _do_ have a top fuel dragster under the 'minivan-thing'. That's how I went from 60 to 110.

Oh. You want to know why? I heard you say to the other guy, "Hey, let's block that minivan-thing in." I don't want to know why. I'm just glad my friend was screwing with his portable CB at the time. You know, this thing is pretty endumacational.

Now, I know that you're a big truck, but this isn't a small minivan-thing. And I have to say, on a light-traffic road, I don't appreciate it when you try to merge into me. It kind of pisses me off. Why do semis do that so much?

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by E-Sabbath

Hey, buuuu-dy. You in the Semi. You know, I _do_ have a top fuel dragster under the 'minivan-thing'. That's how I went from 60 to 110.

Oh. You want to know why? I heard you say to the other guy, "Hey, let's block that minivan-thing in." I don't want to know why. I'm just glad my friend was screwing with his portable CB at the time. You know, this thing is pretty endumacational. ...

What can I say. Some people, even truck drivers, are jerks.

Originally Posted by E-Sabbath

... Now, I know that you're a big truck, but this isn't a small minivan-thing. And I have to say, on a light-traffic road, I don't appreciate it when you try to merge into me. It kind of pisses me off. Why do semis do that so much?

I'm not sure what your question is with regard to merging, so I'm going to hit this from two angles and try to cover the base that way.

If you are, in fact, asking about merging - that is, a big truck coming up an on-ramp and attempting to merge with faster traffic - we always try to do so safely and courteously. You don't always let us do that, though. Proper highway etiquite dictates that you try to move over or adjust your speed to allow traffic to merge. All too frequently though, you stubbornly sit it that lane, match our speed and refuse to let us in. Our default survival mode at that time is "our 80,000 pound truck trumps your 2000 pound beemer - move it or lose it."

We're working hard, doin' the best we can to get our rigs up to speed. But some bone-head highway engineer decided to design freeways above ground level, instead of below ground level. This means that we're pulling uphill, fighting the weight of the rig and gravity to boot, so getting up to 45 is tough, 55 is damn near impossible, and 65 is out of the question on 85% of the ramps. We try to move over to let you in when ever it is safe to do so, you could at least try to return the courtesy.

If, on the other hand, your are talking about lane changes, see post #16, where I've already addressed that issue. Thank You.

[Guinastasia]

Ever launch a "trucker bomb"?

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Ever launch a "trucker bomb"?

No.

Never even made one. Find the whole concept disgusting.

And those that do should not only lose their license, but their freedom, too. IMNSHO

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

No.

Never even made one. Find the whole concept disgusting.

And those that do should not only lose their license, but their freedom, too. IMNSHO

Ah, good to hear!

Have you ever had to haul double? Those double tractor trailers scare the shit out of me-how can they be controlled?

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Ah, good to hear!

Have you ever had to haul double? Those double tractor trailers scare the shit out of me-how can they be controlled?

Yeah. When I get doubled up it's called a supertanker. 9150 gallons liquid load sloshin' down the highway is really fun.

Actually, the doubles aren't what should scare the shit out you. Watch out for the triples. One half inch movement in the steering wheel = 2 feet of swing in the #3 trailer. One and a quarter inches of movement can flip that #3 trailer. If you're coming up on a set of triples, watch that third trailer. It will tell you a lot about the skill of the Driver. If it's a wobblin' , stay clear, or complete your pass quickly. (Those things scare the shit out of me!)

Doubles are actually pretty easy to control. Frequently to hardest part for me is to remember that the rig is 38 feet longer, especially once I've off-loaded and I'm on the empty leg going home. Can't hardly even feel the thing back there.

[ivylass]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Ever launch a "trucker bomb"?

What's that?

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by ivylass

What's that?

Basically, truckers are sometimes so overworked they can't even stop at a rest stop to pee. So some pee in bottles. Okay, fine.

But some are lazy asshats, so rather than waiting until they reach a dumpster, or something, they just toss the bottles out of the truck. Hence the term, "trucker bombs."

[LucyInDisguise]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

Basically, truckers are sometimes so overworked they can't even stop at a rest stop to pee. So some pee in bottles. Okay, fine.

But some are lazy asshats, so rather than waiting until they reach a dumpster, or something, they just toss the bottles out of the truck. Hence the term, "trucker bombs."

Actually, you're really close on this one ...

Truth be known, none of us are that overworked. The laws are just way to strict to allow that. Even those that cheat still have the time to take a pee break.

The word you're really looking for here is 'lazy'.

These truckers are just simply too lazy to stop. So, they pee in a bottle. And toss it out the window or leave it where ever they finally do make a stop. Which proves the 'lazy' point. I think it really reflects poorly on our profession. I'm trying to clean up my language so I won't tell you what I think about the individuals in question. Besides, there are ladies present.

Frankly, I just can't see where trying to pee in a bottle while driving an 80.000 lb. truck down the highway is a real safe plan. Hence my earlier comment.

[Cat Whisperer]

Great thread, Lucy. (Ever hear "Weird Al" Yankovic's Truck Drivin' Song?)

My trucker story (for all those who like to tailgate trucks) - I went to school with a former trucker, and he told me about the VW that rearended his truck at a light and got stuck there. He took off from the light dragging her and her car behind him - took him a couple of blocks to figure out what that faint honking was. Nobody was hurt, but the driver of the VW was apparently a little shaken.

I think triple trailers are illegal in Canada - I have a vague recollection of hearing that.

So, how do I go about getting an airhorn for my Corolla? People cut me off about as often as they do you, I suspect, Lucy, but the big difference is that I would lose pretty much every round. I want a horn that really gets peoples' attention when they cut me off, not the little wussy beep that I have now.

[duffer]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Frankly, I just can't see where trying to pee in a bottle while driving an 80.000 lb. truck down the highway is a real safe plan. Hence my earlier comment.

One other thing. It isn't always truckers doing this. I know a few, including my uncle, that will do this to keep from stopping for something as trivial as pissing. This is actually an improvement on his part. In the 70's he told me he would load up a 12 pack for the drive to Minneapolis (this was almost acceptable and normal in the 70's).

When he had to releive himself it was into a baggie. Said baggie was then thrown from the window to occasionaly splat on an unsuspecting motorist. All he could think of was the great time he was making. I assume this thinking (not his anymore) is still held by some. In fact I know it is. I've seen it.

Not every piss bottle is thrown from a rig. Get over it. Bad drivers are bad drivers no matter the vehicle.

The big difference? Truckers are under much more scrutiny than four-wheelers. Truckers that shouldn't be driving are quickly found for the most part. The rest of the bad drivers simply swerve past the rig giggling on their way to the next accident.

[Ludovic]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Swift. The most inappropriately named trucking company in the universe.

Even moreso than Yellow, whose logo and trucks are deep orange?

[Mama Tiger]

My favorite trucking line is the one with the big "G.O.D." on their trucks. I realize it's an abbreviation for General Something Delivery, but it just seems deeply tacky to me.

[Mr. Goob]

Originally Posted by Mama Tiger

My favorite trucking line is the one with the big "G.O.D." on their trucks. I realize it's an abbreviation for General Something Delivery, but it just seems deeply tacky to me.

Guarenteed Overnight Delivery

[LucyInDisguise]

"Rickkkkeeeeyyyy, I'm Home ..."

Wow - what a laundry list! Hey - this is going to be long, so bear with me ...

Feydeau Yes, no need to worry. Bobtail tractors are probably more stable than your car. Most, like my tractor, weigh in somewhere between 17,000 and 21,000 lb. If I were to take the cab, hood and front fender off of the frame, I'd only be removing about 1,000 pounds. If I had a sleeper on the truck, that would be another 1500 - 2000 lbs. All of the weight is in the frame, engine/drivetrain, and wheels.

Rick OG, don't I wish ...

Roland Orzabal

zuma Oh, there are bad truck drivers out there, believe me! (I spent 30 minutes dressing one down on the CB just this afternoon ...) Thanks for your courtesy when around the big trucks, it is sincerely appreciated. (Helps keep you safe, too!)

Mama Tiger Ooooh boooooy, a conga line.

I sure wish those guys (& gals) wouldn't do that. Gives all of us a black eye. Never seen it anywhere but the flatland in TX, NM and AZ, though.

Best strategy: get off the road for about 20 minutes. They tend to run in a pack - but usually not more than 8 - 10 trucks. I guess they figure that there's safety in numbers, Highway Patrol can only grab one or two of them. Beats the shit out of me, I just get the hell out of their way then phone it in.

Thank you for your consideration.

Dead Cat Clarification: 'Squared off' refers to all of the flat spots that the anti-lock brake system puts on the tires in a hard stop. 'Lock it up' no longer means what it used to; it's a reference to the maneuver of a hard stop, not actually locking the wheels up to where they won't turn.

As to your second question, it's a matter of trust. When I allow another rig in close to me, I effectively hand over the job of watching the road and the traffic until they open up enough space for me to take it back. Until then, I'm a brake light attendant, and the safety of myself, my rig and my load are all in that Drivers hands. Note that, except on steep grades, I never signal another Driver to move over until the space between the back of his rig and the front of mine is equal to double my reaction time (adjusted for my level of fatigue), or roughly about 2 seconds of following distance. On steep grades, all bets are off. I'll let 'em in as soon as they clear my front bumper, especially if traffic is backing up behind them. If they've got the power to pass me, they'll generally open up a safe following distance in a matter of a few seconds. I'm sure as hell not going to be gaining on them.

Ponder Stibbons Actually, a couple of companies are testing this idea right now. They're both intracity carriers. From what I understand, so far the equipment available just won't put up with the rough ride. Expense is another drawback, as is the fact that most Drivers would throw a bloody fit. The onboard satellite systems are still very much resented by a substantial percentage of Drivers that have them on board. 'Till they break down out in the middle of No Damn Place, NV - Then they're happy they've got it.

Originally Posted by DogMom

(snip) ... But what is up with the "pull into the passing lane then pace the truck in the slow lane"? ...

Just thought (and almost certainly not the reason in the case you cited). There have been times that I have pulled out to pass a slower moving truck and got completely surprised by a strong head wind that dropped my speed dramatically. One time out on the Salt Flats in the western desert of Utah, it took me 17 miles to pass another truck. Luckily it was at 3:30 in the morning and traffic was almost nonexistent or I would have had to abandon the pass.

There are those on both side of this issue that think they should help the police enforce the law. I know I've had uncounted dozens of motorists & trucks try to slow me down, even though I was not speeding. They just thought I was, I guess. I don't know the answer. I know I've seen a couple of other threads on this board complaining about the same thing.

Siege Rush Hour. Talk about misnomers.

5 to 15 mph, don't leave anymore room than you would any other vehicle. Hint: if the sun is up and shining from one side or the other, the Driver can usually see the shadow cast by your car. If the sun is dead ahead, or straight behind, drift a little off center in your lane from time to time so the Driver can keep track of you. I said, just a little! Ya know, like 8 - 10 inches.

Parked, on private property, without permission? Hell, yeah - I'd bang on the door and see if anybody's home, polite or not. :wally

Passing on a down grade? Hell, I'm happy to go 'round ya. Gives me something to do.

Seriously, though, more often than not, you're really going to fake me out. I've already done the calculations and planned my moves with regard to you; my attention is focused more like 3/4 to one mile in front of you. If you change lanes without any obvious reason, I've got to pull my attention back to you, watch you, and try to figure out what you're doing. It may only take me a moment, but it interrupts my concentration, none the less. (And at night, it's really going to freak me out. I'm going to be looking for a stalled car that doesn't have lights (or worse, a slow moving vehicle that doesn't have tail lights), or a deer, or debris in the road, etc.) In 999 cases out of 100, I'd say try to stay away from doing anything unexpected. (Don't get me wrong, though, the sentiment is definitely appreciated!)

Ludovic Damn straight. Hey, with the right shade of sunglasses those signs are yellow.

Shayna What can I say? "Sorry for your loss" always seems so totally inadequate.

Ghanima, I'm gonna take your questions in reverse order.

Originally Posted by Ghanima

Also, can you explain why a trucker would give the double bird in traffic so slow you could barely move? One time I was stuck in traffic on the Bay Bridge, changed lanes (slowly) and looked up into my rear view to see this trucker give me the double bird. What could I have possibly done to piss him off that much? It's not like I could have caused an accident at 2 mph. Thoughts?

Only possible explanation: You got in front of him, which would mean that there is just one more car in his way - just that much longer to wait to get out of that mess. It's not rational, but then, who among us can honestly say they always stay completely rational in that kind of traffic?

Originally Posted by Ghanima

Is it true that you all want to see my tits? Even the female drivers? Is it OK if I keep my bra on? What about mooning?

What? Me? Hey, I can't speak for the other guys, but I'm a happily married man! (I know I'm happy - my wife told me so!)

Seriously, though, a couple of years back a car load of college girls were traveling north bound on I-15 between Cedar City and Beaver, UT. Topless, and mooning truck drivers. The three passengers got $200 fines (each) and had to do 60 hours of community service picking up garbage along that same stretch of road. The driver had her license suspended for 60 days, did 30 days in the county jail, and had a whopping $1500.00 fine to pay before her license was reinstated. Something to think about in there somewhere.


Doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good seat cover now and then. Saw a sign a rig a few years back:


"Be a flirt, Hike that skirt!"





Pity.

Nobody ever wears skirts anymore.





Except ...





there was this one guy ...

Lucy

[Muffin]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

The three passengers got $200 fines (each) and had to do 60 hours of community service picking up garbage along that same stretch of road.

Bending over in public beside the highway as community service.

[Rick]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Seriously, though, a couple of years back a car load of college girls were traveling north bound on I-15 between Cedar City and Beaver, UT. Topless, and mooning truck drivers. The three passengers got $200 fines (each) and had to do 60 hours of community service picking up garbage along that same stretch of road. The driver had her license suspended for 60 days, did 30 days in the county jail, and had a whopping $1500.00 fine to pay before her license was reinstated. Something to think about in there somewhere.Lucy

I take it they were cited for carrying an unsecured load?
D&R

[Shayna]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

Ohhh, now that's a cute little manuver. You see an 80,000 truck coming at you at 50 mph and you decide it will be okay to pull out in front of it. Seventy feet in front of it. Did you sleep through your high school physics class? I will use up 70 feet of roadway just getting this thing down to 40 mph. I hope that Honda is really a top fuel dragster in disguise, cause if it isn't, one of us is going to get hurt (let's see, 1500 pound Honda Civic vs. 80,000 pound Kenworth ... nope, don't think it's going to be me). Naw, guess I'll have to lock it up. 102 feet of skid marks from eighteen tires curving into the right hand emergency lane. Missed ya by, well, I couldn't see how close I came to hitting your car. I was kinda busy at the time. But it couldn't have been by much. And you just drive off, secure in the knowledge that you are so dense that light bends around you, and blissfully unaware that you just made me square off eighteen tires. That's eighteen tires that will have to be replaced. At $300.00 each (does not include mounting). That's more than $5400.00 damage to this rig and I didn't even get your insurance information.

And it's often not the jackass who pulls this stunt who's the one who gets hurt, either. I lost a collegue to someone who did this. Asshole in a little car cuts off a big rig on a rainy day in 50mph traffic, then speeds off into the blissfully ignorant distance, leaving a wake of death and destruction behind him. The truck lost control and jackknifed into oncoming traffic, completely shearing away the driver's side of my associate's car. Rumor had it that she was decapitated in the accident, but it was too gruesome to try to confirm (didn't want to seem morbidly curious). The guy was so distraught he had to quit driving (which I learned through another colleague who coincidentally happened to know the trucker). I second the suggestion that you guys get cameras rigged on your dashes.

P.S. I missed it happening to me by approximately 1 minute, as I left right after she did, and take the same route home. Got stuck in traffic behind the accident only moments after it happened. Shook me up pretty bad for a while, too.

[Ghanima]

Hey Mr. Truck Driver:

Is it true that you all want to see my tits? Even the female drivers? Is it OK if I keep my bra on? What about mooning?

Also, can you explain why a trucker would give the double bird in traffic so slow you could barely move? One time I was stuck in traffic on the Bay Bridge, changed lanes (slowly) and looked up into my rear view to see this trucker give me the double bird. What could I have possibly done to piss him off that much? It's not like I could have caused an accident at 2 mph. Thoughts?

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

It's interesting to hear from a long distance trucker. It's a job a lot of people wonder about but one meets so few truckers IRL. I know a little of the high desert area in NV; you must drive through some beautiful country on a regular basis.

Regarding the drivers who dart into your braking cushion...maybe you should put a big sign on your grille, in mirror image letters that says the following:

'DO YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH DAMAGE
MY TRUCK WOULD
EXPERIENCE
IF I LET IT ROLL
RIGHT OVER YOU?

NONE AT ALL.

(With apologies to Doug Adams).

[eleanorigby]

Great thread, I've learned alot.

My respect for truckers (or more accurately, my awareness of just what they have to deal with) came about when we took a family trip out West. We were on the Western Slope, taking I-80(?) into Denver. It was like a roller coaster ride, down and down and down. We came upone a HUGE sign that said, "Truckers, you're half way down". Egads. The thought of trying to control that amount of mass for that long AND combat RVs(which I hate), SUVs, and Mini-Coopers (and motorcycles etc)--makes my blood run cold.


I give you alot of credit.



BUT.


When I was a teenager, I drove my mother's stick shift Rabbit. Tiny little car-loved it. There are truckers out there who are just assholes--and IMO, they like to play games with blonde teen girl drivers. I had truckers so close to me that all I could see was grill--in a construction zone, no less! Thank God for the maneuvarability of the Rabbit, is all I can say.


Also, I drive I-80, 394 and the Dan Ryan alot. IMO, there is a difference between long distance haulers and these guys. The ones doing these routes seem to be in some kind of death game(hell, all the drivers out there are). I see much rudeness in that spaghetti bowl. Then again, if and when the damned construction ever ends, perhaps tempers will cool down.

and I love the trucker merge police--stop trying to get ahead in a dead end. Merge when you are told to merge, and make it smoother for all of us.

[St. Urho]

It's I-70, actually. There's a whole series of similar signs. And as a question for Lucy do feel insulted seeing signs like that or are they helpful?

[PoorYorick]

I've had a couple of run ins on the road with truckers, but as other posters have noted, four wheel drivers are definitely the largest slice on the Asshole pie chart. Case in point: There's a bridge between Lafayette, LA and Baton Rouge, LA that's 18 miles long, mostly over swamp, with only one exit. We had a spate of several serious crashes so they lowered the speed limit to (if I remember correctly) 60 mph for cars and 55 mph for truckers.

You can predict what you see on the bridge. A long line of trucks in the right hand lane trudging along at 55 mph, and a gazillion cars driving as fast as they possibly can, buzzing in and out of the lanes like gnats. Needless to say, the lowered speed limit didn't do a thing but slow the trucks down. What they need is speed limit enforcement, although I'm not sure how they do that on an 18 mile long bridge short of air patrols.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by PoorYorick

What they need is speed limit enforcement, although I'm not sure how they do that on an 18 mile long bridge short of air patrols.

European-style traffic cameras, the type that get a reasonably clear picture from three different angles.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally Posted by LucyInDisguise

?
Oh, yeah. "The Truck Drivers".

Swift. The most inappropriately named trucking company in the universe. (And don't blame the drivers. 10 under the speed limit is company policy.) 'Nuff said.

I gotta ask, as you're a professional truck driver, what's your opinion of those articulated Swift trucks? To me they look like they'd flip over or jackknife in a heartbeat.