Why the lame columns lately?

[Ludovic]

For about a year now, I have noticed that as I peruse old articles, they have been edited. Invariably it seems, the once-sharp wit has either been removed, or replaced with a lame parody of Leno-esque overexplication.

Now, in the past month or two, I have been reading the original column (well, original to the web, that is) and i run across the start of a good barb/witticism, only to find that it turns into yet another exercise in hitting one over the head with a punchline. BEFORE i even get to read the original joke

So, basically I am asking, has his writing changed, and if not, can we get the good stuff first, please?

And thanks.

[Montfort]

I've been more disappointed lately in the quality of the questions the Master chooses to answer, not the answers themselves. But, you raise a good point.

I've been reading the original Straight Dope book (I'll let a mod link to it, I'm lazy) and Cecil was a lot crabbier back in the day: cursing a lot, and generally bashing people from Baltimore.

It gives certain theories credence, doesn't it, how the writing style has changed over the years. Hmm...

[CnoteChris]

We discussed this a while back here.

But I agree, they seem even more 'off' now than they once did. Maybe the geezer in him is catching up and now he's trying to get into heaven by being nice.

Getting old made my grandparents decide to start attending church.

[beirne]

The strangest things about the columns in the last year or so is that the mailbag questions answered by the Science Advisory Board are usually more interesting than Cecil's. He's been taking a lot of lame questions. The mailbag has been more interesting than Cecil, because the questions are better and there are more columns.

[VanL]

I agree. Since this column went on-line the quality of the writing has decreased dramatically. When the column's on-line site was on AOL I asked about this and the moderator said it was an attempt to reach a broader audience. I fail to see how one can attract a wider audience by lessening quality.

[andros]

Oh, I dunno. I've been reading since '83 or so, and I haven't noticed a decline in writing quality. In vitriol, yes, but not in literary ability.

AFAICR, Cecil has always answered some pretty boring questions, interspersed with a few exciting ones. The difference now is that we can surf straight to the ones that catch our fancy, so we always expect the more interesting questions to be answered every week. And that ain't gonna happen.

[Frumpy Jones]

Well, there's definately a softness going on here. As I noted in another thread (found here), Cecil's editor (Ahem) Ed took an original reply Cecil gave me in 95 and CHANGED IT to some soft-ass response instead of the ZING it originally contained. (The links to both the original and the newly editied reply are in the other thread).

So I dunno. Maybe Cecil has lost the "edge".

I'm surprised he hasn't jumped into the loop on this one.

[Cecil Adams]

Lost my edge, eh? You pathetic losers can kiss my ass.

[Crunchy Frog]

sorry to hijack, but Cecil . . . I've been looking for you.

[Arnold Winkelried]

Now that's the Cecil Adams we know and love.

[Whammo]

I've been kissing your ass for a year and what has it gotten me? One measly greeting. Feh!

[Ukulele Ike]

"Kiss my ass" is the Cecil Adams we all know and love?

Pft.

"Don't snivel, we just had the floors waxed."

"I'd love to [open fire upon querant's antagonist], but right now you're the only target within range."

"Your feelings are understandable, Ruth; there's no question that the phenomenon of creatures with their brains up their butts has acquired a certain desperate relevance today."

"I notice, Frank, that you hail from Baltimore, a city whose residents fall into one of two categories, in my observation: (1)persons of exceeding wit and ingenuity, and (2) complete idiots. Your letter, quite honestly, lends itself equally well to either proposition."

THAT is the Cecil Adams I know and love.

[pepperlandgirl]

Cecil, I still love you. I don't think you've lost your edge. How could the Master lose his edge? That's like saying that Picasso couldn't paint his way out of a box. That Beethoven was a hack.

[The Mermaid]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
Lost my edge, eh? You pathetic losers can kiss my ass.

OH yes, THAT'S what I'm talking about.

Please Cecil give use some more.

*Mojo dangles bait*

In fact, I would love to kiss your ass, wiggle your ears and make a target.
Given the enormity of the job, is there a time limit involved?

If you feel you must mention my name, I guess that would be OK,

(it's Cindi with 2 i's)

*ducks and runs*

[don Jaime]

::breaking out whetstone::

[KimKatt]

I agree with Uke.

In times past (insert appropriate melodramatic violin music here), the master's insults not only put down the offendee, but did so with a rhythm and eloquence, with a beautiful blend of wit and satire that is lacking in the phrase, "You pathetic losers can kiss my ass."

[aenea]

You are the master, but..........

You pathetic losers can kiss my ass."

That's not even pitworthy!

Come on! Show us some of that razor sharp wit that you've become so famous for.

[Scotticher]

Well, I don't think Cecil has lost his edge. He is still writing columns that put the rest of the columnests to shame, and I salute him. He is more witty, more readable and more interesting than the rest-no one else even comes close. Dave Barry is funny, but Cecil combines funny with informative.

So what I really wonder about here, is this-

Does this mean that the Great Cecil actually reads this message board? Because I have always assumed that he didn't have the time or interest to "lurk" here.

Scotti

[KneadToKnow]

I can see new sigs for andros, Frumpy Jones, et al., already:

One of seven Dopers officially called a pathetic loser by Cecil!

[Mr. Cynical]

I dunno, I still think that the only Pathetic Loser in Cecil's eyes shall be Coldfire. What a nice reply!

[Silo]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
Lost my edge, eh? You pathetic losers can kiss my ass.

I think the Dope is getting to him...

Why don't ya pop up more often Cecil? You might regain some of that savory "edge" you seem to be currently lacking.

[Montfort]

I was one of the posters that Cecil called a "pathetic loser."

So, I hereby will take upon the challenge to kiss Cecil's ass. Name the time and place, and I'll be there. I just ask that there be a witness with a camera, to prove that Cecil does exist, and also that I kissed his ass!

How does that sound?

[wolfman]

Well, since Cecil has finally decided to pop his head out of the ground, it would be cool if the 'smartest man alive' would care to join the SD Fantasy Hockey League Montfort started.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...threadid=38503

Of course, if he is afraid to run with the Big dogs we all understand. But since he called Montfort a loser I was wondering if he(or whatever proxy he chooses) wanted to try and back it up in the league?

[Smeghead]

I just felt a need to post to the same thread as Cecil. Waa-hoo!

[Eo Echo]

Trying to smoke Cecil out, huh? A worthy motive, to be sure.

[Cecil Adams]

"Kiss my ass" is the Cecil Adams we all know and love?

Pft.

Ike, Ike, Ike. We artists must appeal to all levels of society. Take my classic bit about "shaking hands with Jesus." (Surely you remember.) Half the readership was appalled. The other half busted a gut. Who could ask for more?

[Geek Mecha]

I'm posting after Cecil! I'm posting after Cecil!

(Puts me in the best position to kiss his ass, I know... Maybe he'll insult me personally!)

[CnoteChris]

Like I said. He's turned into a geezer. Look when he posted- 5:42 A.M..

I bet he goes to sleep around 9:00 P.M. too, much like my grandfather did just before he died of old age.

I guess I'm curious as to which church he's now decided to bless with his presence. The possibilities......

[hawthorne]

Cecil Adams
We artists must appeal to all levels of society.

The mantra of basket-weavers across the ages. So much for crafts.

Jules D'Aurevilly
The artist's morality lies in the force and truth of his descriptions.

Non-administrators should note that applying appropriate force may require a forum jump.

picmr

[Arnold Winkelried]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
Take my classic bit about "shaking hands with Jesus." (Surely you remember.)

Welcome to the SDMB, and thank you for posting your comment.
Please include a link to Cecil's column if it's on the straight dope web site.
To include a link, it can be as simple as including the web page location in your post (make sure there is a space before and after the text of the URL).

Cecil's column can be found on-line at this link:
I can't plug in these new plugs! What's the deal?

The can also be found on pages 179-180 of Cecil Adams’ book "The Straight Dope".

__________________
moderator, «Comments on Cecil's Columns»

[The Mermaid]

Originally posted by Montfort
I was one of the posters that Cecil called a "pathetic loser."

So, I hereby will take upon the challenge to kiss Cecil's ass. Name the time and place, and I'll be there. I just ask that there be a witness with a camera, to prove that Cecil does exist, and also that I kissed his ass!

How does that sound?

If you would note my previous post, I believe I am first in line to kiss Cecil's ass. The line forms BEHIND me.(pun intended),

That is unless Uncle Cecil has no ass, or is adverse to the kissing of same.

So Cecil, How about it? I'm applying the lip balm as I type for your comfort.

Anyone else interested in queing up, Please sign in.

[Whammo]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
Take my classic bit about "shaking hands with Jesus." (Surely you remember.) Half the readership was appalled. The other half busted a gut. Who could ask for more?

NO! That was great. Very funny stuff, nice edge too. Classic Adams if you will.

What year was that again?

[iampunha]

I am posting with the sole intent of being able to say I posted in the same column as Cecil. Though he didn't call me a loser

I am now officially pathetic.

[Anniz]

Hej Cecil!

I have to admite that I haven't read any column by you,
yet, sorry.
So, I thought why don't you tell me why I should?
I only found the message boards here because a friend
told me about them.
And I never heard of you before I got here,
you're not famoues here in Sweden, yet.
I probably have missed something by not reading them,
but, hey, it's not to late for me to do that.


Hej Montfort!
You're in big trubbel if you kiss anybody
else ass but mine.

[Silo]

It was smart of him to take my advice and post more often.

Only a few hundred more posts and you, Cecil, will have fully regained your edge--trust me on this . You got some work to do buddy. Forget about that weekly column thing and make this your new home. And guess what Cecil? I'm your biggest fan. (BTW Cecil, could you tell me to fu*k off or something it'd really brighten my day.)

[Amulet]

Just don't know when to let sleeping dogs lie, do ya? You throw down the gauntlet, he lets you off the hook with a mild flame (though it was outside the Pit, I notice), and y'all beg for more. Yikes! Masochism, anyone?

(I must admit, though, that the Master was positively mellow in his responses here... what is up with that?)

[Ashtar]

I am posting here as some of the previous posters have--simply to say that I participated in a thread that the Master did.

-----------------------------
A Doper's Lament:

O' great Master!
To have been blessed with your presence!
Let thy presence shine forth!
Cleanse me of my ignorance--for I am nothing!

Before you--I am infintissemal, I am meager.
I am toenail dirt.
I am a Monument of Stupidity crafted by the Artisan of Ignorance and placed in the Altar of Inferiority inside the Church of Witlessness at the corner of 5th and Dumb.

In who's presence we are not even fit to utter Your name.
In who's presence we are but Dim-witted clapper-clawed gorebellied miscreants!

Please give us Deliverance from this hellish nightmare---this never-ending torture.

This....Ignorance.
Amen.
-----------------------------

-Ashley

(If that doesn't creep Unca Cece out--nothing will. )

[MEBuckner]

Welcome to the SDMB, and thank you for posting your comment.
Please include a link to Cecil's column if it's on the straight dope web site.
To include a link, it can be as simple as including the web page location in your post (make sure there is a
space before and after the text of the URL).

Cecil's column can be found on-line at this link:
I can't plug in these new plugs! What's the deal?

The can also be found on pages 179-180 of Cecil Adams’ book "The Straight Dope".

Shall a Moderator correct Cecil Adams? I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

[Frumpy Jones]

Unca Cecil recently said:

Lost my edge, eh? You pathetic losers can kiss my ass.

Can I consider this my OFFICAL Greeting from Cecil, since it was after MY post? I guess I COULD add "personally called a pathetic loser by Cecil Adams" to my SIG, but it just doesn't ring quite right (true, maybe). I HAVE had a question answered by the man. . . does that count as a greeting?

Oh, and something else I noticed in the thread was the following by our MOD:

Welcome to the SDMB, and thank you for posting your comment.
Please include a link to Cecil's column if it's on the straight dope web site.
To include a link, it can be as simple as including the web page location in your post (make sure there is a space before and after the text of the URL).

Damn Arn, that takes balls. To give Cecil a STOCK Answer? You even refer to him in the third person in your response to him!

Well, being it that my first two posts since my long hiatus from the board got ED to respond QUICKLY and CECIL to come out from lurking, I think I've performed a pretty nifty trick, and wonder (again)if I may actually say I've been greeted to the board (even if it WAS to be called a pathetic loser).

[Montfort]

Originally posted by Frumpy Jones
Unca Cecil recently said:

Can I consider this my OFFICAL Greeting from Cecil, since it was after MY post? I guess I COULD add "personally called a pathetic loser by Cecil Adams" to my SIG, but it just doesn't ring quite right (true, maybe). I HAVE had a question answered by the man. . . does that count as a greeting?

Well, check my sig...

[Ukulele Ike]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
Ike, Ike, Ike. We artists must appeal to all levels of society...

Oh, my ears and whiskers!

{fainting dead away}

[Cecil Adams]

Ashtar writes:

Before you--I am infintissemal, I am meager.
I am toenail dirt.

Your spelling sucks, too. Also, while one appreciates a certain humility, let's not overdo it.

Amulet writes:

I must admit, though, that the Master was positively mellow in his responses here... what is up with that?

Don't worry, it's a passing phase.

Silo writes:

BTW Cecil, could you tell me to fu*k off or something it'd really brighten my day

Impudent pimple, what have you done for me lately that I should brighten your day? Besides, we've got enough tacky sig lines already.

picmr writes:

The mantra of basket-weavers across the ages. So much for crafts.

Oh, my. Hey, since we have an excess of volunteer asskissers here, can somebody take time out to do this guy? Sounds like he could use a little loosening up.

[Ukulele Ike]

{reviving}

Three Cecilian posts in one thread! THREE! Unheard of! Unbelievable! Pretty soon we'll be swapping chili recipes and mailing each other birthday cards.

I don't know about you other guys, but I'm off to buy a T-shirt and coffee mug to show my gratitude.

[The Mermaid]

Originally posted by Cecil Adams
[B Oh, my. Hey, since we have an excess of volunteer asskissers here, can somebody take time out to do this guy? Sounds like he could use a little loosening up.
[/b]

*applying lip balm

Hey Ike, BEND OVER HERE IT COMES

{{SMOOOOOCH}} {{SMOOOOCH}}

There ya go, glad to be of service

YOO HOO Cecil, you're next

[Montfort]

Hmm, mojo57, I don't think that's what Cecil meant by "loosening up" Ike.

But, I could be wrong. Acknowledge me, Cecil, and tell me what you meant!

_{P.S. The offer to kiss your ass still stands.}

[CnoteChris]

Damn! Part of the original group of stalwart poster's critical of recent articles who have now been overlooked by Cecil in favor of the late-coming rubber-neckers.

So close, yet so far...

And I even gave a link in my post, fer Chrissakes...

[Frumpy Jones]

Would just like to take a moment and say that the whole lot of you owes me big time.

It was MY post (Stating Cecil has lost his edge), which brought Cecil out of the woodwork for an unprecedented THREE POSTS in the same thread.

And damn if MY post (indirectly) didn't make this the most read thread in recent memory. It's as if Unca Cecil's postings have all but injected caffeine into the hearts of the TM's.

So, you're welcome. Money is also appreciated. I use PayPal to make it easier for all.

[Gomez]

Joins the line to kiss FRUMYP's ass.

[RTFirefly]

I think Cecil's columns are still as sharp as ever.

But he doesn't know how to mix it up with the posters on his board. Maybe with regular practice, especially in GD, the quality of repartee in his posts would improve. (I'm sure the mods would allow him to post under another username if he wanted to practice up on the sly.) But every post I've seen from him has been as lame as the three on this thread.

My advice would be: stick to your columns, Cecil.

[Gomez]

DAMMIT!! i Finally get the chance to participate in a thread with the 1 and only Cecil Adams and I fuck up on the spelling. Sorry F-R-U-M-P-Y.