This damn civilization thing is too complicated!

[Boyo Jim]

I say let's go back to gathering, and possibly hunting for the most energetic amongst you. The good news is that the cattle will practically be sitting ducks, hunting-wise. And in other , er... well, kinda good(ish) news, there ought to be several billion corpses around in relatively short order that could be salted down to get us through the winter.

I say we take a couple of summers to plant fruit trees and vegetables in every open space, and then we shut pretty much everything down.

We just need to keep up enough of modern society to produce and distribute decent pornography.

[billfish678]

you do know we will need a commitee at the very least right ?

[Jack Batty]

Originally Posted by billfish678

you do know we will need a commitee at the very least right ?

I suggest we form an anarco-sydicalist commune. We'll take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but by a two thirds majority in the case of...

... or fuck it. Let's just get oursevles a king.

[Freddy the Pig]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I say we take a couple of summers to plant fruit trees and vegetables in every open space, and then we shut pretty much everything down.

That ain't gathering--that's agriculture! You start planting trees, and pretty soon you need an army to defend them and a priest and a king and all that crap. The hell with that--we'll eat wild food.

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

We just need to keep up enough of modern society to produce and distribute decent pornography.

You won't need it--we'll all be naked! And we'll all be in much better shape once we shit-can agriculture. Porn will be life and life will be porn!

[Boyo Jim]

I'm talking about planting stuff now, for the gathering later.

And committees... don't get me started on them! Look at the very word. All those extra Ms and Ts and Es. You know how the spelling was decided, don't you? That's right, by committee!

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I'm talking about planting stuff now, for the gathering later.

three words

capital gains taxes

You sure you dont wanna go the pirate route matey?

[Shot From Guns]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

And committees... don't get me started on them! Look at the very word. All those extra Ms and Ts and Es. You know how the spelling was decided, don't you? That's right, by committee!

You really don't want to confuse committee with comity. Not that there's any real chance of that, I'm sure.

[Smeghead]

And let's use leaves as money! Luckily, I have a forest in my back yard, so I can afford to just stay in the bath...

[Alessan]

I'll ask my son to help me pack our shopping cart.

[The Tao's Revenge]

Bastard, trying to dilute our new hunting and gathering age of enlightenment with agriculture. You know who had farms? Nazi Germany, that's who.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by The Tao's Revenge

Bastard, trying to dilute our new hunting and gathering age of enlightenment with agriculture. You know who had farms? Nazi Germany, that's who.

No comrade, we are in the pre-"hunting and gathering" state as of now. In order to achieve a perfect hunting and gathering society, we must lay the groundwork by some preparatory agriculture by THE PEOPLE!

Oh yeah, and destroy our enemies too. They are many and they are everywhere.

[The Tao's Revenge]

Okay, I believe you, but only because this thread follows one of the themes of Fight Club and is therefore awesome by association.

[Shot From Guns]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I say let's go back to gathering [snip] I say we take a couple of summers to plant fruit trees and vegetables in every open space

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I'm talking about planting stuff now, for the gathering later.

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

No comrade, we are in the pre-"hunting and gathering" state as of now. In order to achieve a perfect hunting and gathering society, we must lay the groundwork by some preparatory agriculture by THE PEOPLE!

This word you keep using... I do not think it means what you think it means.

[The Tao's Revenge]

Originally Posted by Shot From Guns

This word you keep using... I do not think it means what you think it means.

You type that using using advanced technology, traitor to the cause!

Hey traitors to the cause,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day working in an service and information age society at the end of it's industrial revolution. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making products because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the industrial revolution.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the a bank, and ceo on my own enron. What products do you play, other than "mass produce naked Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just exchanged capital with me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

[mswas]

I am hereby declaring it my life's mission to assfuck every single person who posts in this thread should this benighted Utopia ever be brought to life.

[Max the Immortal]

Well, you'd have to sabotage all of the Earth's ecosystem so that agriculture is no longer viable. Otherwise some group of jackasses will start farming again, build cities, and then proceed to, in the parlance of our times, "roflstomp" everyone.

How to sabotage the ecosystem adequately without ruining it for foraging, I couldn't tell you.

[Oredigger77]

Originally Posted by mswas

I am hereby declaring it my life's mission to assfuck every single person who posts in this thread should this benighted Utopia ever be brought to life.

I got to admit assfucking that many people might be some people's version of utopia but you can leave me out. Bring on the loin cloths and spears (I was a javelin thrower in college that finally might be useful)

[mswas]

Originally Posted by Oredigger77

I got to admit assfucking that many people might be some people's version of utopia but you can leave me out. Bring on the loin cloths and spears (I was a javelin thrower in college that finally might be useful)

Oh no, no one gets left out. That's the point. I want to teach people the true meaning of such a savage Utopia. And what better way to do it than non-consentual anal sex? They could come after me, but if they did it in groups they'd already be well on their way to re-establishing civilization.

[The Tao's Revenge]

Originally Posted by mswas

Oh no, no one gets left out. That's the point. I want to teach people the true meaning of such a savage Utopia. And what better way to do it than non-consentual anal sex? They could come after me, but if they did it in groups they'd already be well on their way to re-establishing civilization.

You do know your testicles are outside your body, vulnerable to gene pool cleansing crushing grips, right?

It only takes one guy with a firm handshake to end your rein of ass-terror.If that isn't enough it just takes one guy hunting and gathering a knife to finish the job. You have to sleep sometime!

[mswas]

Originally Posted by The Tao's Revenge

You do know your testicles are outside your body, vulnerable to gene pool cleansing crushing grips, right?

It only takes one guy with a firm handshake to end your rein of ass-terror.If that isn't enough it just takes one guy hunting and gathering a knife to finish the job. You have to sleep sometime!

Hey, the packs things works both ways. Who says I won't have a pack of asshunters? You might know the joys of being assfucked nonconsentually by like 15 of my sweaty mouth-breathers.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by mswas

Oh no, no one gets left out. That's the point. I want to teach people the true meaning of such a savage Utopia. And what better way to do it than non-consentual anal sex? They could come after me, but if they did it in groups they'd already be well on their way to re-establishing civilization.

Even as hunter-gatherers we hunted in groups. Or maybe packs is a better term.

Remember, there won't be any prisons or civil rights. If we catch you, you'll be dead. Death by Roo Roo!

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Guys, guys. One problem with the whole end-of-civilzation-as-we-know-it thing.

No toilet paper.

[Jackmannii]

Originally Posted by Oredigger77

Bring on the loin cloths and spears

Don't want no bright lights, false teeth, doorbells, landlords
I make it clear
That no matter how they coax me, I'll stay right here*

Louis Prima had the right notion.

*from Civilization, not a notably politically correct song.

[Scuba_Ben]

Originally Posted by Jackmannii

Don't want no bright lights, false teeth, doorbells, landlords
I make it clear
That no matter how they coax me, I'll stay right here*

Louis Prima had the right notion.

*from Civilization, not a notably politically correct song.

No phones, no lights, no motorcars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
As primitive as can be
We're spending most our entire lives
In this Amish Paradise
By Weird Al

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by mswas

I am hereby declaring it my life's mission to assfuck every single person who posts in this thread should this benighted Utopia ever be brought to life.

So. I take it you're in favor of same sex... mmmm, everything?

Certainly no more marriage to worry about. I suppose people could scratch their names little hearts on big rocks. They would then be the marrying rocks.

[mswas]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

So. I take it you're in favor of same sex... mmmm, everything?

Certainly no more marriage to worry about. I suppose people could scratch their names little hearts on big rocks. They would then be the marrying rocks.

No, it would just be my attempt at alpha dominance over the herd. You know, man living in his natural state.

[Cheesesteak]

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

there ought to be several billion corpses around in relatively short order

Got that right.


Wait, you weren't talking about human corpses, were you?

[Rhythmdvl]

I'm gonna hoard conch shells.

[Lightnin']

Three words which I'm sure will convince you that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle just won't work:

No. More. Beer.

[Daithi Lacha]

Originally Posted by Lightnin'

Three words which I'm sure will convince you that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle just won't work:

No. More. Beer.

Oh, what? Like, no-one will be able to obtain the title "Beerhunter?"

[Dallas Jones]

Originally Posted by Lightnin'

Three words which I'm sure will convince you that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle just won't work:

No. More. Beer.

That would be the first problem I would solve. Find a nice field of grain. Build some fermentation vessels and a building I'll call 'bar', caveman for beer.

Then I will just wait for others to trade goods for beer. Eventually they will settle down close to my bar and we have ourselves a town. And we are back to civilization.

[descamisado]

Originally Posted by ghardester

That would be the first problem I would solve. Find a nice field of grain. Build some fermentation vessels and a building I'll call 'bar', caveman for beer.

Then I will just wait for others to trade goods for beer. Eventually they will settle down close to my bar and we have ourselves a town. And we are back to civilization.

I was sure that would happen when I've killed myself a wooly mammoth, made me a fedora and three-piece outfit from its fur and preserved the lower 5 inches of his feet to attach and add funky-fresh height to my shoes.

After this I'm sure to commandeer all the discerning cave-ladies and, going forward, will offer their feminine wiles to all the lonely, drunk cavemen in exchange for goods.

Therefore, I'm sure a town will grow up around my burgeoning enterprise sooner than yours.

[XT]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

... or fuck it. Let's just get oursevles a king.

I would strongly advise against it...you'll be repressed, take my word for it. Wouldn't be prudent...

-XT

[The Second Stone]

I've got a stockpile of porn that can be enjoyed from behind glass, kinda like the constitution and declaration of independence.

Lotion. Got to stockpile skin lotion.

Canned chili. Flint and steel. Water cleaning stuff. Generator that will run on alcohol (as gasoline will run out).

[Kobal2]

Fuck gathering, I call shaman. Y'all go gather, I'll be in my tent stoned out of my wits. For the good of society.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

Fuck gathering, I call shaman. Y'all go gather, I'll be in my tent stoned out of my wits. For the good of society.

Pfff, you can have that sissy shaman gig. I am the High Priest of Warrior Cult, and I'll send to you to whatever gods you wish.

[Kobal2]

Originally Posted by Regallag_The_Axe

Pfff, you can have that sissy shaman gig. I am the High Priest of Warrior Cult, and I'll send to you to whatever gods you wish.

Dude, don't harsh my... I mean, the spirits are all, like, restless and shit. The war will be lost and you warriors won't... won't... what was I saying ? Oooh, mammoth jerky, gimme !

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Well, I guess that big knife, machete, and blood hook will come in useful now. And to think they laughed at me when I sharpened them and made a custom belt that allows me to carry them around at all times.

[StarvingButStrong]

Okay, so you've got the beer and sex covered.

What will you do to replace football on TV???

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by StarvingButStrong

Okay, so you've got the beer and sex covered.

What will you do to replace football on TV???

I will watch neighboring tribes spear each other to death during raids for women and horses.

[XT]

Can I get one of those really cool post-apocalypse gurkha knife thingies you always see in the movies?? And a cool leather jacket and a mohawk??

-XT

[mswas]

Originally Posted by xtisme

Can I get one of those really cool post-apocalypse gurkha knife thingies you always see in the movies?? And a cool leather jacket and a mohawk??

-XT

Hey, there's no civilization, you don't need permission!

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by xtisme

Can I get one of those really cool post-apocalypse gurkha knife thingies you always see in the movies?? And a cool leather jacket and a mohawk??

-XT

I'll definitely sport a mohawk. But rather than running front to back, mine will run from ear to ear.

My theory is I will be like those lizards with the skin flaps. It will make me much more scary and intimidating...

[Shot From Guns]

Originally Posted by billfish678

I'll definitely sport a mohawk. But rather than running front to back, mine will run from ear to ear.

My theory is I will be like those lizards with the skin flaps. It will make me much more scary and intimidating...

All the known world shall tremble at Male Pattern Baldness Man!

[FalconFinder]

I think he means that it will run from ear to ear over the top of his head, not around the back like Bozo. Although, many people are afraid of clowns, maybe that's the scary and intimidation he's referring to?

[Shot From Guns]

Yup, I got what he meant. I just think there's a reason you never see anyone with that haircut.

[Boyo Jim]

Oops, like foreplay.

Otherwise... more orifices, more sand!

[Shot From Guns]

Well, there won't be any running water, so you were probably more accurate than you know.

[Boyo Jim]

Rivers, there will be rivers. Best to live upstream so you can shit and piss on those downstream lowlifes.

[Auntbeast]

You can pry my diva cup from my cold dead hands. As a fan of post-apocalyptic fiction, I have to say, things are never nice for women.

If ya'll plan to do this, allow me time to GTFA from wherever you beasts will be.