How Old is Cecil?

Jake · #1 09-12-2012, 02:00 PM

Or is he immortal?

Tim R. Mortiss · #2 09-12-2012, 02:03 PM

Assuming he's one person, and has been doing this job since 1973 (according to the masthead), he's at least in his upper 50s.

DrDeth · #3 09-12-2012, 02:11 PM

Yes, Jake, there is a Cecil. He exists as certainly as snark and cynicism and a devotion to the truth exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Cecil. It would be as dreary as if there were no Jakes. There would be no mature cynicism then, no satire, no trivia to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which adulthood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Cecil! You might as well not believe in Gravity! You might get private investigators to watch all the desks in Chicago to catch Cecil, but even if they did not see Cecil writing his column, what would that prove? Nobody sees Cecil, but that is no sign that there is no Straight Dope. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see a word with five consecutive vowels? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

PacifistPorcupine · #4 09-12-2012, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrDeth

Did you ever see a word with five consecutive vowels? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not there.

queueing

Try2B Comprehensive · #5 09-14-2012, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrDeth

Yes, Jake, there is a Cecil. He exists as certainly as snark and cynicism and a devotion to the truth exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Cecil. It would be as dreary as if there were no Jakes. There would be no mature cynicism then, no satire, no trivia to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which adulthood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Cecil! You might as well not believe in Gravity! You might get private investigators to watch all the desks in Chicago to catch Cecil, but even if they did not see Cecil writing his column, what would that prove? Nobody sees Cecil, but that is no sign that there is no Straight Dope. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see a word with five consecutive vowels? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

aldiboronti · #6 09-14-2012, 05:43 AM

I believe it's a matter of common knowledge that we're on our third Cecil now, Mike Lenehan being the first incarnation, Dave Kehr the second and Ed Zotti the third. Whether there is a fourth waiting in the wings to step into the breach when Ed Zotti shuffles off this mortal coil or moves on to fresh woods and pastures new is unknown.

Colophon · #7 09-12-2012, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim R. Mortiss

Assuming he's one person, and has been doing this job since 1973 (according to the masthead), he's at least in his upper 50s.

Surely someone of Cecil's greatness would have been fighting ignorance since he could talk, or quite possibly since he was a spermatozoon, so he might not even be 40 yet.

Shagnasty · #8 09-12-2012, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake

Or is he immortal?

Nobody knows if he is immortal. All we know is that he hasn't died yet. He was fairly old even in 1973 so I would say he is at least 75 or 80 now.

Martian Bigfoot · #9 09-12-2012, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

Nobody knows if he is immortal. All we know is that he hasn't died yet.

Looking good so far!

Szlater · #10 09-12-2012, 02:33 PM

There is only one Dope, and Cecil is its prophet!

Cecil, truth be upon him, will be wherever there is ignorance to be fought.

*faces toward Chicago*

FoieGrasIsEvil · #11 09-13-2012, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Szlater

There is only one Dope, and Cecil is its prophet!

Cecil, truth be upon him, will be wherever there is ignorance to be fought.

*faces toward Chicago*

Has anyone ever depicted Cecil in a turban with a bomb on his head? Would we threaten the Dutch embassy if so?

Freddy the Pig · #12 09-14-2012, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil

Has anyone ever depicted Cecil in a turban with a bomb on his head? Would we threaten the Dutch embassy if so?

Considering some of the ways Slug has depicted Cecil, with no known adverse consequences, I think we're safe on this score.

Suburban Plankton · #13 09-14-2012, 10:40 AM

As it was explained to me during my original Charter Member initiation rite, Cecil is not so much a person as a title. You see, it's the name that's the important thing for inspiring the necessary awe.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Cecil took me to his office and he told me his secret. "I am not Cecil" he said. "My name is Ryan; I inherited The Straight Dope from the previous Cecil, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Cecil either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Cecil has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia."

sittininlab · #14 09-14-2012, 11:37 AM

Certain phrases in Lorem ipsum can be rearranged to "Cecil Adams has been fighting ignoradjknv lgnlee nrfgm." According the the Bacon cypher.

Jake · #15 09-12-2012, 02:53 PM

Oh, I believe in Unca Cece alright, otherwise I wouldn't have stuck around here for the last 12 or so years! I wish I could have had him as a college professor just to show me how to find difficult info.
He (or they) is smart enough to keep very intelligent people around him, something that took me a long while to learn. I think that this is the wisdom of the master.
I remember reading one of his columns (can't remember which one) in which he said he was an "Old Fart", and this got me to thinking about his age.
So... what do you guys and gals think his age is? (If he really is one person)

Colophon · #16 09-12-2012, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake

I remember reading one of his columns (can't remember which one) in which he said he was an "Old Fart", and this got me to thinking about his age.
So... what do you guys and gals think his age is? (If he really is one person)

Well, his editor might have slipped that one in, and he's over 60 now. But don't tell him we told you.

carnivorousplant · #17 09-12-2012, 03:27 PM

Do you know why Cecil Adams has never been photographed?

His image casts no reflection.

I have probably already said too mu

Thudlow Boink · #18 09-14-2012, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

Do you know why Cecil Adams has never been photographed?

"one of the very rare known sightings of Mr. Adams"

carnivorousplant · #19 09-14-2012, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thudlow Boink

"one of the very rare known sightings of Mr. Adams"

Obviously Photoshopped.

Colophon · #20 09-12-2012, 03:38 PM

Sure he's been photographed. Not only that, he recruited a body double as an editor to throw the wolves off the pack -- and, if that picture is to be believed, he's developing some sort of Mini-Me, too.

carnivorousplant · #21 09-12-2012, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colophon

Sure he's been photographed. Not only that, he recruited a body double as an editor to throw the wolves off the pack -- and, if that picture is to be believed, he's developing some sort of Mini-Me, too.

A clever ruse.

RedFury · #22 09-12-2012, 03:41 PM

Ask Ed Zotti, for he is the one filling fictional Cecil's role at the moment.

ETA: Does this "question" really belong in GD? Come on guys, we've done this over and over and not much good ever comes out of it. I mean, "immortal"? In GD?

Colophon · #23 09-12-2012, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedFury

Ask Ed Zotti, for he is the one filling fictional Cecil's role at the moment.

ETA: Does this "question" really belong in GD? Come on guys, we've done this over and over and not much good ever comes out of it. I mean, "immortal"? In GD?

I think you mean GQ.

OK, we could just say "Cecil Adams is a fictional construct first used by the Chicago Reader in February 1973 for the Straight Dope column. The column has in recent years, as far as we know, been written by a balding guy with specs named Ed Zotti, born 1951, who also tinkers with an old house in Chicago."

But that would be boring.

Derleth · #24 09-12-2012, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colophon

"Cecil Adams is a fictional construct first used by the Chicago Reader in February 1973 for the Straight Dope column. The column has in recent years, as far as we know, been written by a balding guy with specs named Ed Zotti, born 1951, who also tinkers with an old house in Chicago."

I suppose, technically, this is just the only conclusion the evidence we have allows us to draw, but that describes all of the conclusions we form about reality.

My point is, you'll find push-back from moderators and administrators and SDSAB members but you won't get any evidence that actually refutes this conclusion. Therefore, it would be irrational to abandon this conclusion.

Senegoid · #25 09-12-2012, 06:52 PM

Cecil himself says Cecil exists! If I may paraphrase:

I mean the impulse to be truthful. Three hundred sixty-four days out of the year humankind commits all manner of heinous falsehoods. On the 365th day we give facts to the kids. I'm not saying that the latter compensates for the former. I'm not saying Adolph Hitler wouldn't have given the truth to his children, if he'd had children. But come on, it's got to count for something. The giving of knowledge in such a way that no credit will devolve upon ourselves is sufficiently at odds with our routine behavior as to be accounted a mystery, and we may as well give that mystery a name. Cecil Adams it is.

From here.

Capt Kirk · #26 09-12-2012, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senegoid

Cecil himself says Cecil exists! If I may paraphrase:

I mean the impulse to be truthful. Three hundred sixty-four days out of the year humankind commits all manner of heinous falsehoods. On the 365th day we give facts to the kids. I'm not saying that the latter compensates for the former. I'm not saying Adolph Hitler wouldn't have given the truth to his children, if he'd had children. But come on, it's got to count for something. The giving of knowledge in such a way that no credit will devolve upon ourselves is sufficiently at odds with our routine behavior as to be accounted a mystery, and we may as well give that mystery a name. Cecil Adams it is.

From here.

Thanks for sending me back to that one, awesome column

Capt

RedFury · #27 09-13-2012, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colophon

I think you mean GQ.

Right.

Quote:

OK, we could just say "Cecil Adams is a fictional construct first used by the Chicago Reader in February 1973 for the Straight Dope column. The column has in recent years, as far as we know, been written by a balding guy with specs named Ed Zotti, born 1951, who also tinkers with an old house in Chicago."

Correct. I suggest we make that a sticky.

Quote:

But that would be boring.

Different strokes...

panache45 · #28 09-12-2012, 03:54 PM

We are all Cecil, and are ageless.

Lukeinva · #29 09-12-2012, 07:01 PM

Never ask a Navy man how many drinks he's had.

colonial · #30 09-12-2012, 07:26 PM

Our Beloved Master Cecil was born, under another name, on December 25, 0001AD/CE

Dr. Drake · #31 09-12-2012, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colonial

Our Beloved Master Cecil was born, under another name, on December 25, 0001AD/CE

Cool! Just a few years after Jesus. I wonder if they knew one another?

Freddy the Pig · #32 09-13-2012, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drake

Cool! Just a few years after Jesus. I wonder if they knew one another?

Cecil didn't know Jesus, but he knew of him. Every time he'd preach, his disciples would come to Cecil afterward, and they'd be all like, "What's a Samaritan? When is the eleventh hour, and why is it such a popular time to hire workers? Is it true that you can't put old wine in new wineskins?"

carnivorousplant · #33 09-13-2012, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig

Cecil didn't know Jesus, but he knew of him. Every time he'd preach, his disciples would come to Cecil afterward, and they'd be all like, "What's a Samaritan? When is the eleventh hour, and why is it such a popular time to hire workers? Is it true that you can't put old wine in new wineskins?"

And they asked of Cecil, "Speak to us of strong drink".

And Cecil replied, "Teeming Millions, have you ever seen an animal stumbling in a ditch, unsure of it's direction, unable to walk?"

And they replied, "No, Cecil, we have not."

And Cecil said to them, "Then you haven't seen my horse."

IceQube · #34 09-12-2012, 10:30 PM

Slight tangent, seeing the post about Cecil's snark.

There was a thread somewhere on the SDMB not too long ago about the role and appropriateness of condescension in education/edification. Where is that thread now? Anyone have it bookmarked?

BigT · #35 09-12-2012, 11:44 PM

Knowing how old the actor is doesn't tell us how old the character is.

kayaker · #36 09-13-2012, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigT

Knowing how old the actor is doesn't tell us how old the character is.

True for every case except Katharine Hepburn.

FuzzyOgre · #37 09-13-2012, 12:13 AM

If you ask me, he'll never be de-Cece'd.

samclem · #38 09-13-2012, 06:00 AM

Moved from GQ to ATMB.

samclem, moderator

Darth Panda · #39 09-13-2012, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake

Or is he immortal?

I would say he's amortal.

johnpost · #40 09-13-2012, 11:04 AM

Cecil has the wisdom of the ages. this offers a couple possibilities.

Cecil is really old (in order to have read lots of written knowledge) and a speed reader (in order to have read lots of written knowledge) and a non-deteriorating mind (in order to recall lots of written knowledge).

Cecil is a huge super computer (both start with the letter c, coincidence? i think not.) with all the wikis of the world, Wolfram research and all the data from all the government computer systems in the world.

those are not the most likely in my opinion.

i think Cecil is a collaborative effort of all the faculty of the University of Chicago (both start with the letter c, coincidence? i think not.). maybe a bunch of alumni too.