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  #1  
Old 12-16-2008, 05:36 PM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
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Armed thugs invade home, demand man's eggbeater

Yahoo! News:

Quote:
According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, two men entered a man's home early Sunday and demanded his eggbeater. One suspect was holding a pistol while the other brandished a knife to the resident's neck.

Police caught the men outside the home and they are being held in Orient Road Jail. One suspect also faces a charge of aggravated assault.

Police found the eggbeater in the man's left pocket.

...You figure it out. If a man's eggbeater isn't safe in his own home, what are we coming to?

Last edited by matt_mcl; 12-16-2008 at 05:38 PM..
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  #2  
Old 12-16-2008, 05:38 PM
Lobsang Lobsang is offline
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An expensive Bet?
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  #3  
Old 12-16-2008, 05:42 PM
levdrakon levdrakon is offline
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Well, if you manage to dial 911 it'll take the cops 1/2 hour to show up, and if you call the cops' regular number it'll take them three hours to show up so I'm wondering how the cops caught these guys outside the home? They must have been hanging around.
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  #4  
Old 12-16-2008, 05:47 PM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by levdrakon View Post
Well, if you manage to dial 911 it'll take the cops 1/2 hour to show up, and if you call the cops' regular number it'll take them three hours to show up...
Especially if you tell them, "Help help, armed thugs just stole my eggbeater!"
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  #5  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:10 PM
phouka phouka is offline
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Which just goes to show you that the pro-eggbeater people are wrong. What happens if you own an eggbeater for personal safety? Why, a couple of thugs break into your home, steal it, and use it against you.

I say we pass more eggbeater control laws!
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  #6  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:12 PM
Kythereia Kythereia is offline
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This is anti-eggbeater discrimination, and I won't stand for it!
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  #7  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:38 PM
iamthewalrus(:3= iamthewalrus(:3= is offline
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This is what happens when you preheat the oven before you read the rest of the steps in the recipe to make sure you have everything you need.
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  #8  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:48 PM
NinjaChick NinjaChick is offline
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Well, huh. I was expecting a thread full of some sort of puns about...well, I don't know, but I'm sure it would be something horrifying and relating to genitalia.

But, no, some armed thugs broke into a man's home and demanded his eggbeater. That's...well, it happened in Florida, which somehow doesn't surprise me in the least.
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  #9  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:54 PM
mhendo mhendo is offline
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Originally Posted by NinjaChick View Post
That's...well, it happened in Florida, which somehow doesn't surprise me in the least.
Pretty much what i was going to say.
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  #10  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:57 PM
The Second Stone The Second Stone is offline
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I'm getting whipped into a froth just thinking about this crime.
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  #11  
Old 12-16-2008, 06:58 PM
LeeshaJoy LeeshaJoy is offline
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Dude, it's not that important to finish the scavenger hunt list.
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  #12  
Old 12-16-2008, 07:10 PM
A Priori Tea A Priori Tea is offline
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You know, I'm going to be up by ORJ later this week. I wonder if they'd let me visit the accused just to go "WTF, guys?!? I *gotta* know."
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  #13  
Old 12-16-2008, 07:55 PM
Karyn Karyn is offline
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Maybe his wife had PMS and needed one and he was scared to go home without it.
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  #14  
Old 12-16-2008, 08:16 PM
Kobal2 Kobal2 is offline
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This, ladies and gentlemen, is what legalized pastry is doing to America. And it's just the beginning.
Today, one user was assaulted over his egg paraphanelia. Tomorrow, your sons and daughters will be turning tricks behind the 7/11 to score meringue, they'll mug innocent old ladies to afford their next Chantilly fix. Open your eyes. It's happening right now, in your city.

Vote for the War on Pastry, 2012.
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  #15  
Old 12-16-2008, 09:08 PM
ToeJam ToeJam is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what legalized pastry is doing to America.
An eggbeater, eh?
That fucker eats cake!
I wonder if he had long hair....
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  #16  
Old 12-16-2008, 09:10 PM
Rigamarole Rigamarole is offline
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He should have said "She's right over there" (pointing to his wife).
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  #17  
Old 12-16-2008, 11:17 PM
Mindfield Mindfield is offline
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Ogdamn amateurs. Potato peelers have a much higher street value.

Spud. It's a helluva drug.
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  #18  
Old 12-16-2008, 11:32 PM
Manduck Manduck is offline
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Where's the eggbeater, Lebowski?
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  #19  
Old 12-17-2008, 12:03 AM
Northern Piper Northern Piper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phouka View Post
Which just goes to show you that the pro-eggbeater people are wrong. What happens if you own an eggbeater for personal safety? Why, a couple of thugs break into your home, steal it, and use it against you.

I say we pass more eggbeater control laws!
No, no, no!

When it's criminal to own egg-beaters, only criminals will have egg-beaters!
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  #20  
Old 12-17-2008, 03:55 AM
EvilTOJ EvilTOJ is offline
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Maybe it was emergency supplies for a bachelor party....
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  #21  
Old 12-17-2008, 04:11 AM
Uosdwis R. Dewoh Uosdwis R. Dewoh is offline
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Maybe the eggbeater was one of the objects.
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  #22  
Old 12-17-2008, 04:17 AM
shantih shantih is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what legalized pastry is doing to America. And it's just the beginning.
Today, one user was assaulted over his egg paraphanelia. Tomorrow, your sons and daughters will be turning tricks behind the 7/11 to score meringue, they'll mug innocent old ladies to afford their next Chantilly fix. Open your eyes. It's happening right now, in your city.

Vote for the War on Pastry, 2012.
I'm down with this idea! Much more fun than the War on Drugs or the War on Poverty or the War on Terrorism, not to mention far yummier.
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  #23  
Old 12-17-2008, 04:22 AM
Dervorin Dervorin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Second Stone View Post
I'm getting whipped into a froth just thinking about this crime.
You have egg all over your face? Or was that just a yolk? All white, all white...
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  #24  
Old 12-17-2008, 04:30 AM
don't ask don't ask is online now
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Those guys were lucky that the homeowner didn't just beat them until they had stiff peaks.
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  #25  
Old 12-17-2008, 06:52 AM
ShibbOleth ShibbOleth is offline
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Yes, I live in Hillsborough County. Yes, I saw this news story days ago.


Didn't think anything of it.

Around here, we like to say, "You can have my eggbeater when you pry it from my cold, dead hands." We take our eggbeaters seriously in these parts.
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  #26  
Old 12-17-2008, 03:15 PM
It's Not Rocket Surgery! It's Not Rocket Surgery! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro0sh View Post
An eggbeater, eh?
That fucker eats cake!
I wonder if he had long hair....
Did you see how excited he got when he heard your birthday was fast approaching?
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  #27  
Old 12-17-2008, 03:40 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matt_mcl View Post
...You figure it out. If a man's eggbeater isn't safe in his own home, what are we coming to?
Beats me.
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  #28  
Old 12-17-2008, 03:46 PM
that_darn_cat that_darn_cat is offline
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I work in Tampa, and people really are that weird. Not that Pasco county (where I live) is any more normal.
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  #29  
Old 12-17-2008, 03:48 PM
wolfman wolfman is offline
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First they came for the eggbeaters, but I use yolk-in-a-box so I said nothing.
Then they came for the garlic presses, but I prefer to mince so I said nothing
.........
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  #30  
Old 12-18-2008, 08:47 AM
Lust4Life Lust4Life is offline
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I've always thought that people who insist on their right to own egg beaters are using them somehow as a penis substitute to overcome their doubts about their own manhood.
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  #31  
Old 12-18-2008, 09:18 AM
lieu lieu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phouka View Post
What happens if you own an eggbeater for personal safety? Why, a couple of thugs break into your home, steal it, and use it against you.
Then they'll be charged with Assault & Batter.
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  #32  
Old 12-18-2008, 09:50 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by that_darn_cat View Post
I work in Tampa, and people really are that weird. Not that Pasco county (where I live) is any more normal.
Yeah, everyone knows that Pinellas is the only normal county around these parts. *shifty eyes*
What?!
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  #33  
Old 12-18-2008, 10:30 AM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
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Maybe it was a solid gold eggbeater.
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  #34  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:04 AM
Projammer Projammer is offline
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Must. Make. Quiche!
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  #35  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:06 AM
bannerrefugee bannerrefugee is offline
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Why didn't they just use a fork?
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  #36  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:08 AM
chowder chowder is offline
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You can have my eggbeater when...............

Oh never mind
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  #37  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:11 AM
Mindfield Mindfield is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lieu View Post
Then they'll be charged with Assault & Batter.
Assaultin' batter is illegal? Oh man, I'm never making pancakes again.
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  #38  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:11 AM
Mtgman Mtgman is offline
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At least they weren't after meat beaters, then we'd all be in trouble, right guys?

Enjoy,
Steven
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  #39  
Old 12-18-2008, 11:21 AM
Mindfield Mindfield is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtgman View Post
At least they weren't after meat beaters, then we'd all be in trouble, right guys?

Enjoy,
Steven
Leave my wife out of this.
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