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Old 10-28-2009, 01:06 PM
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Women don't get it, and every guy does


I was just talking to a woman in my office, and we were talking about Christmas cards and decorations and whatever. She is getting sick of getting cards with people's happy family pictures on them. This year she wants to send out something a little different. She thought she could make a card out of some of her son's artwork.

Pretty soon we were discussing why even a solemn and cheerful Christmas drawing must, by its very nature, include a dinosaur, a ninja, and a bunch of swords. The women in the office didn't get it.

Is there any guy on the planet that DOESN'T understand why those objects are 100% necessary?
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:11 PM
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I get it.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:15 PM
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I don't get it. Male
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:17 PM
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I've never seen any of those things on a Christmas card, and I don't get it either.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:18 PM
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I understand that in certain sects, ninjas -may- be replaced with Pirates, and dinosaurs with FSM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:19 PM
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If it's a specific reference to something, I don't recognize it, but any Christmas card would be 1000% better with those things included.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:22 PM
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Pretty soon we were discussing why even a solemn and cheerful Christmas drawing must, by its very nature, include a dinosaur, a ninja, and a bunch of swords.
I don't understand why the word 'Christmas' is in this sentence, but otherwise I get it.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:22 PM
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I'm a chick and I get it. Instead of donkeys and sheep and such around the manger there can be a T-rex and a stegosaurus! Instead of the three wise men they can be the three wise ninjas! Instead of bearing gold, frankenscense and myrrh they can bear ninja stars, swords, and katanas! Then he can draw a big rocket in the background. You know, for accuracy.

That would be the most bitchin' holiday card ever and I would buy a dozen boxes and mail them to random people just to share the awesome.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:25 PM
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Intriguing question. An informal poll of my side of the office was taken, asking respondents to choose which, among the following items, were required for a properly cheerful Christmas scene:

[ ] Santa Claus
[ ] Candy canes
[ ] Dinosaurs
[ ] Christmas trees
[ ] Angels
[ ] Ninjas
[ ] Gingerbread men
[ ] Swords
[ ] Presents/Gifts
[ ] Jesus

The results were enlightening. Of three male respondents, 100% felt that dinosaurs and ninjas were required; 66% also required swords. (Upon further questioning, it was revealed that the male respondent dissenting on the sword issue felt that, ninjas possessing swords by definition, the option was redundant.)

Of four female respondents, 0% concurred. Results most popular among this group were Santa and Christmas trees. 25% felt that Jesus should also be in there somewhere.

The data, though not rigorous, do corroborate your hypothesis. This may merit further study.

Last edited by Roland Orzabal; 10-28-2009 at 01:25 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:25 PM
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And little talk bubbles coming from the stick-figure victims of the dinosaur/ninjas saying, "Help! Help!" "Eeek!" and/or "Merry Christmas."
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:26 PM
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In the spirit of this thread, I would like to give everyone a heads-up on an upcoming event (in November):

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0&postcount=75
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  #12  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:27 PM
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Male.

If it's a reference to something, I don't get it.
If it's just because dinosaurs, ninjas and swords are supposed to be cool and improve any and every situation, I still don't get it.

If it's too early to be discussing anything related to Christmas, I get that.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by ArrMatey! View Post
I understand that in certain sects, ninjas -may- be replaced with Pirates, and dinosaurs with FSM.
If pirates didn't totally suck, then yes, I agree. Fortunately, ninjas trump pirates.



Also, I get it. The dinosaur should also be capable of shooting laser beams.
  #14  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by pbbth View Post
I'm a chick and I get it.
I love you.

I mean, uh, you're OK or whatever. Ninjas!
  #15  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:35 PM
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Also, I get it. The dinosaur should also be capable of shooting laser beams.
My man card should be revoked for not having thought of that.

But I get a pass because I'm thinking of Nazi sharks with machine guns.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:42 PM
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25% felt that Jesus should also be in there somewhere.
What's with that? Why does he keep on trying to shoehorn his way into this holiday?

Dear Jesus: You're so vain, you probably think this holiday's about you...

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Old 10-28-2009, 01:45 PM
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Just so we're clear, are some of the dinosaurs also ninjas, or are the two groups separate?

It doesn't change my answer, I'm just curious.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:51 PM
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Explosions and volcanoes are also appropriate and festive
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:51 PM
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Back when I was in elementary school, our little private school sent out each year Christmas cards to every staff member and family. The cards were designed by the (sixth or fifth year) students. It was considered a bit "cool" to have your design chosen.

The card did have to have one thing, as everything promotional related to the school. See, our mascot was a tiger. So, somewhere in the design, a tiger had to be included.

My design was of three tiger magi faces. It won. I still think that was cool.
  #20  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:51 PM
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Younger women would probably get it, I think. But this stuff stopped being amusing a couple of years ago, to the point where I'm surprised anybody thinks ninjas and dinosaurs are great and left out Chuck Norris, Batman and zombies.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:52 PM
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Dinosaurs, Ninjas and Swords make anything cooler. If I could have had them in my wedding I would have.

Also you can add a plane dropping bombs and shooting tracer rounds.
  #22  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:52 PM
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Younger women would probably get it, I think. But this stuff stopped being amusing a couple of years ago, to the point where I'm surprised anybody thinks ninjas and dinosaurs are great and left out Chuck Norris, Batman and zombies.

Nope. Just ninjas and dinosaurs. Everything else was a fad, and is now, passe.
  #23  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:53 PM
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Fighter planes, attack helicopters, and space ships would also be acceptable.
  #24  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by pbbth View Post
I'm a chick and I get it. Instead of donkeys and sheep and such around the manger there can be a T-rex and a stegosaurus! Instead of the three wise men they can be the three wise ninjas! Instead of bearing gold, frankenscense and myrrh they can bear ninja stars, swords, and katanas! Then he can draw a big rocket in the background. You know, for accuracy.

That would be the most bitchin' holiday card ever and I would buy a dozen boxes and mail them to random people just to share the awesome.
I don't send out holiday cards and am not even Christian, and I'd want to send out a Christmas card like that.
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Old 10-28-2009, 01:54 PM
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I not only don't get ninjas on a Christmas card, I don't get this entire thread. The clue phone in my cubicle doesn't ring very often.
  #26  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:54 PM
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I get it, but I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of dinosaurs, ninjas, and swords. However, I see nothing wrong with a card that has a '57 Chevy, Indiana Jones, and John Maclean from Die Hard.
  #27  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:55 PM
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Dinosaurs, Ninjas and Swords make anything cooler. If I could have had them in my wedding I would have.

Also you can add a plane dropping bombs and shooting tracer rounds.
I'm getting married soon and I tried to sell my fiance on getting married on a pirate ship but he won't go for it. He wants to have a classy, elegant wedding.

Last edited by pbbth; 10-28-2009 at 01:58 PM. Reason: Also I mentioned getting married in the underwater shark tank (they have a special wedding package) and he refused that too!
  #28  
Old 10-28-2009, 01:56 PM
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I don't get it. Male
Let's see if I can explain it.

Dinosaurs! Ninjas! Swords!

Better?
  #29  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:01 PM
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To those who don't get it, I think the key word here is "son". Little boys like dinosaurs and ninjas and swords. Even on Christmas cards. No boy worthy of the name would even think about drawing a tasteful and serene family-around-the-tree type picture. Not unless the family had a severe case of flatulence.

-MIS!, female
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:03 PM
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Not unless the family had a severe case of flatulence.
Nice touch!
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:03 PM
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What's with that? Why does he keep on trying to shoehorn his way into this holiday?

Dear Jesus: You're so vain, you probably think this holiday's about you...

The answer is obvious. Jesus is a Ninja. I was told from childhood that "Jesus is always with you." So, why's He so hard to spot? Well, duh! He's a Ninja, of course!
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:05 PM
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a tasteful and serene family-around-the-tree type picture. Not unless the family had a severe case of flatulence.
Now if I get any of those tasteful and serene family picture cards, I'm going to imagine them all farting. Wow, those cards might be almost tolerable this year. Thanks, MIS!
  #33  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! View Post
To those who don't get it, I think the key word here is "son". Little boys like dinosaurs and ninjas and swords. Even on Christmas cards. No boy worthy of the name would even think about drawing a tasteful and serene family-around-the-tree type picture. Not unless the family had a severe case of flatulence.

-MIS!, female
In certain circumstances, it is also acceptable to depict the family engaging in Three Stooges-style physical comedy or feeding the yucky older sister through a woodchipper. These options, however, are only recommended for advanced artists.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:07 PM
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I was thinking more along the lines of Cthulu, zombies and Thomas the tank engine, but I suppose your 3 would do.

Female, and I get it.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:20 PM
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In certain circumstances, it is also acceptable to depict the family engaging in Three Stooges-style physical comedy or feeding the yucky older sister through a woodchipper. These options, however, are only recommended for advanced artists.
I had a deprived childhood - as a child of suburbia, I never had access to a woodchipper to feed my yucky older sister through.

Life is just so unfair.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:22 PM
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Mine last year were an Edward Gorey assortment. No ninjas, but dragons, death to fruitcake, and a Great Veiled Bear.

Ever since I was a little kid (a girl kid, for the record), I've looked forward to my cousin's holiday card. He always picks one with a joke about reindeer farts or a dead Santa, and embellishes it with "Kilroy was here!" and "Sid lives!" He did the same on his wedding invitations.

Last edited by Heart of Dorkness; 10-28-2009 at 02:22 PM. Reason: I heart spelling. And ninjas!
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:27 PM
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I have a 6 year old nephew and all he draws are flowers, animals, and people. I don't think incorperating ninjas into everything is an across the board 'boy thing'. It's surely more common in boys..
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:28 PM
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Women don't get it, and every guy does
I thought it was a riddle.
I was gonna guess jock itch.

On the other thing - I get the dinosaurs and the ninjas. The swords not so much.

Oh and also Christmas is really about zombies and shopping malls.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:32 PM
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I was thinking more along the lines of Cthulu, zombies and Thomas the tank engine, but I suppose your 3 would do.

Female, and I get it.
What, you can't put Thomas the Tank Engine through a woodchipper? With ninjas and pirates looking on from atop their laser-eyed dinosaurs?
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:34 PM
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Oh and also Christmas is really about zombies and shopping malls.
No, no, Halloween is about zombies and shopping malls.
  #41  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:38 PM
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I get it, but I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of dinosaurs, ninjas, and swords. However, I see nothing wrong with a card that has a '57 Chevy, Indiana Jones, and John Maclean from Die Hard.
I think Jimbo's card would have a Ferrari, a Star Trek logo, and Captain Kirk. Possibly Captain Kirk IN a Ferrari.

ETA: With a severe case of flatulence.

Last edited by Cat Whisperer; 10-28-2009 at 02:39 PM.
  #42  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:44 PM
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I have a 6 year old nephew and all he draws are flowers, animals, and people. I don't think incorperating ninjas into everything is an across the board 'boy thing'. It's surely more common in boys..
Ninjas are people. Are you sure they're not ninjas? Also, Frankenstein is people, so one of them might be Frankenstein.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:47 PM
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I'm a woman and I get it -- the woman in question has a bunch of artwork she needs to use on a Christmas card and since it's by her son, it only features stereotypically "boy" things. She is a responsible recycler unlike men and is resourcefully finding a way to use what she has on her cards.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! View Post
To those who don't get it, I think the key word here is "son". Little boys like dinosaurs and ninjas and swords. Even on Christmas cards. No boy worthy of the name would even think about drawing a tasteful and serene family-around-the-tree type picture. Not unless the family had a severe case of flatulence.

-MIS!, female
Thank you. I think the question isn't so much what would be cool on a Christmas card, but rather what would a little boy think would go well on a Christmas card.

If I were tasked with designing a Christmas card when I was little, it would have included dinosaurs, sharks, and Micronauts. We didn't have ninjas in the 1970s.
  #45  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:52 PM
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I'm a girl, and I get it somewhat - the ninjas part anyway. I also have this bumper sticker* on my car, though.


*full disclosure, I designed the sticker and it's my store
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:52 PM
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What, you can't put Thomas the Tank Engine through a woodchipper? With ninjas and pirates looking on from atop their laser-eyed dinosaurs?
Of course you can't put Thomas through a woodchipper. He's made of iron.

Toby, on the other hand.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:54 PM
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I'm more of a "World War II airplane making strafing runs" kind of guy, myself.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:55 PM
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I think Jimbo's card would have a Ferrari, a Star Trek logo, and Captain Kirk. Possibly Captain Kirk IN a Ferrari.

ETA: With a severe case of flatulence.
I think Captain Kirk driving a Ferrari past a group of ninjas fighting a laser-eyed dinosaur would be extremely awesome.

I can handle the flatulence all by myself, thanks. I don't need it on my Christmas cards -- that'd just be tacky.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:59 PM
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You know, unless it's a Tyrannosaurus Rex flying an F-15, it just doesn't meet the Calvin and Hobbes Coolness QuotientTM, and that is the ruler by which I measure all coolness.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:01 PM
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What kind of isolated, ignorant f*** has never heard of The Christmas Ninja?
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