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  #1  
Old 11-16-2009, 10:07 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Ask the Intergalactic Gladiator

Happy Monday, everyone.

Since this is Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share, I figure that the most mundane, pointless thing that I could share would be an "Ask the Intergalactic Gladiator" thread. The only way it could ever be more appropriate for this forum if it was called Mundane Pointless Stupid Stuff I Must Share.

Anyway, this will be great fun (in theory). Go ahead, ask me any question about space, intergalactic gladiatoring, how many blows to the head I've received. Anything.
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  #2  
Old 11-16-2009, 10:31 AM
Oakminster Oakminster is offline
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Which alien races make the toughest opponents?

Are the fights in zero-G, or is there some other way to compensate for stronger/weaker gravity wherever the fights are held?
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  #3  
Old 11-16-2009, 11:04 AM
Munch Munch is offline
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Could you describe a typical match? Is it a match in one location against foes from across the galaxies, or is a match that takes place across the galaxies?
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  #4  
Old 11-16-2009, 11:45 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakminster View Post
Which alien races make the toughest opponents?

Are the fights in zero-G, or is there some other way to compensate for stronger/weaker gravity wherever the fights are held?
There are a lot of tough opponents out there. The Psychlos are pretty bad, but fortunately they're from an awful story and are poorly characterized. Space vampires are always tough as are Orwelian pantherbots. I did lose a match to Octupus Prime once do to interference by my annoyingly unfunny comedy relief sidekick Jo Jo the Monkeyboy (who's dead now, fortunately), but I'm not sure what race prime is.

Most contests santioned by the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment (formerly the Intergalactic Gladiator Federation until they lost that lawsuit) are held on Planet Hacknor in the Horizon Ampitheater. I guess fights could be in Zero-G, but I've never been in one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Munch View Post
Could you describe a typical match? Is it a match in one location against foes from across the galaxies, or is a match that takes place across the galaxies?
It's one location against foes from across galaxies. Two opponents generally square off in front of a crowd and the last man standing wins. Typically it's mano a mano (or equivalent) but weapons like laser tridents or sonic stunners are also used. Gladitorial matches often settle disputes between warring groups and actually replace wars for beings who feel they're evolved past that sort of thing.

And yes, these matches are real.
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  #5  
Old 11-16-2009, 11:54 AM
muldoonthief muldoonthief is online now
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How did you become an Intergalactic Gladiator? Do you have to start as a Tri-County Gladiator, and work your way up through Intercontinental, Interplanetary, etc?
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  #6  
Old 11-16-2009, 12:30 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by muldoonthief View Post
How did you become an Intergalactic Gladiator? Do you have to start as a Tri-County Gladiator, and work your way up through Intercontinental, Interplanetary, etc?
I became an intergalactic gladiator in order to save Earth from destruction, something the people on this planet may never know and appreciate.

Sounds all mysterious and cool, doesn't it?
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  #7  
Old 11-16-2009, 12:39 PM
brujaja brujaja is offline
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I have always wondered, what is the etymological connection between "gladiator" and "gladiolus?"
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  #8  
Old 11-16-2009, 12:48 PM
Munch Munch is offline
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How did you feel about the ban on radio-chemical stimulants?
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  #9  
Old 11-16-2009, 01:12 PM
kopek kopek is offline
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Who is tougher, Techno-destructo or Bozo-destructo and just where the heck is the Cosmic Control Tape these days?
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  #10  
Old 11-16-2009, 01:18 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brujaja View Post
I have always wondered, what is the etymological connection between "gladiator" and "gladiolus?"
There is a connection, but only if you're willing to fight flower with flower.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Munch View Post
How did you feel about the ban on radio-chemical stimulants?
I've never used radio-chemical stimulants. As one of the good guys, I feel it would be unfair to give myself an unatural advantage. That and it makes my pee glow.
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  #11  
Old 11-16-2009, 01:21 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by kopek View Post
Who is tougher, Techno-destructo or Bozo-destructo and just where the heck is the Cosmic Control Tape these days?
Techno-Destructo is tougher, but at least has some kicking dance rhythms playing when he fights. Bozo-Destructo just wants to hit you with a cream pie.

I don't know where the Cosmic Control Tape is. I wasn't supposed to watch it, was I?
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  #12  
Old 11-16-2009, 01:58 PM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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What sort of endorsement opportunities do you get?
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  #13  
Old 11-16-2009, 02:48 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
What sort of endorsement opportunities do you get?
There are some. I get a cut of the merchandising that is produced and gladiators work with IGE's Senior Vice President of Marketing and Talent Coordination J'onn Sinew Nu for that.

And the conversion between space bucks and American dollars isn't easy, either.
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  #14  
Old 11-16-2009, 02:52 PM
ProfX ProfX is offline
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Did you know I had to register with this site just so I could post this question?
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  #15  
Old 11-16-2009, 02:56 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by ProfX View Post
Did you know I had to register with this site just so I could post this question?
Weren't you already registered? How many Professor X's are out there? Wait, are you the evil twin from the evil dimension or anything?
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  #16  
Old 11-16-2009, 02:56 PM
blondebear blondebear is offline
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What is the density of hydrogen molecules in intergalactic space?
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  #17  
Old 11-16-2009, 03:23 PM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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Is it true what they say about Xaqbar the Annihilator from Galaxy M235? I mean, yes, it'd explain why they never were able to find Jub-Jub 75's internal organs, but wouldn't it be obvious in the pre-fight full-body scans that they make you guys take?
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  #18  
Old 11-16-2009, 03:43 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by blondebear View Post
What is the density of hydrogen molecules in intergalactic space?
I must admit that I'm and Intergalactic Gladiator and not an intergalactic physicist, but I do believe that hydrogen has the same mass of 1.00794 u anywhere you go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
Is it true what they say about Xaqbar the Annihilator from Galaxy M235? I mean, yes, it'd explain why they never were able to find Jub-Jub 75's internal organs, but wouldn't it be obvious in the pre-fight full-body scans that they make you guys take?
You know what they say about Jub-Jub's internal organs: No one can eat just one.
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  #19  
Old 11-16-2009, 04:52 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is online now
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Do you get good medical coverage?
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  #20  
Old 11-16-2009, 07:24 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! View Post
Do you get good medical coverage?
It's decent, but doesn't cover acts of gods. My wife has insurance through Chicago Public Schools and it's actually better.
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  #21  
Old 11-17-2009, 01:10 AM
Darth Sensitive Darth Sensitive is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator View Post
It's decent, but doesn't cover acts of gods. My wife has insurance through Chicago Public Schools and it's actually better.
Have you ever had to compete against a god? Could be problematic.
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  #22  
Old 11-17-2009, 06:06 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by Darth Sensitive View Post
Have you ever had to compete against a god? Could be problematic.
No, but I did go up against the devil once. I fought through the 9 levels of Hell to rescue Pvt. Hudson. Not a fun time, but one of my proudest moments.
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  #23  
Old 11-17-2009, 08:52 AM
El_Kabong El_Kabong is online now
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Where do you see yourself in five years? Are you bothering to contribute to your 401(k), and do you get a company match?

Last edited by El_Kabong; 11-17-2009 at 08:56 AM..
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  #24  
Old 11-17-2009, 11:39 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by El_Kabong View Post
Where do you see yourself in five years? Are you bothering to contribute to your 401(k), and do you get a company match?
I am working on my masters degree. I ihave no idea how that pertains to Intergalactic Gladiatoring. I haven't actually seend if the Federation has a 401(k). Maybe I should look into that.
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  #25  
Old 11-17-2009, 02:26 PM
Professor X Professor X is offline
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Is there any moral problem with registering for the same site with two different names?
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  #26  
Old 11-17-2009, 02:27 PM
ProfX ProfX is offline
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Yeah, I'm curious about that too.
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  #27  
Old 11-17-2009, 02:46 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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You might have to take that up with the mods...
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  #28  
Old 11-17-2009, 03:58 PM
Professor X Professor X is offline
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You don't actually buy into the conspiracy theory that mods exist, do you?
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  #29  
Old 11-17-2009, 04:10 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
You don't actually buy into the conspiracy theory that mods exist, do you?
I've seen how lame they are on other boards, but they seem pretty active around here.*

*That's kind of an inside joke. See, Professor X and I are both mods on another board that has only about 3 1/2 people who frequent it and of those 3 1/2, 3 are moderators.
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  #30  
Old 11-18-2009, 08:57 AM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is online now
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What is your preferred weapon? Or do you have several you like?
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  #31  
Old 11-18-2009, 09:38 AM
muldoonthief muldoonthief is online now
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How often do you fight? Are the matches scheduled well ahead of time, or are you on call 24/7? Any chance you can comp me some tickets? Is betting on the matches encouraged, discouraged, or flat out illegal?
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  #32  
Old 11-18-2009, 10:37 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes! View Post
What is your preferred weapon? Or do you have several you like?
I have a Wristcomm that features a sonic stunner and monofilament cable launcher. I don't use the launcher so much in matches and only the stunner when it's legal. I've also used a Laser trident.

Quote:
Originally Posted by muldoonthief View Post
How often do you fight? Are the matches scheduled well ahead of time, or are you on call 24/7? Any chance you can comp me some tickets? Is betting on the matches encouraged, discouraged, or flat out illegal?
You'd think as an Intergalactic Gladiator, I'd be competing in matches all the time. I seem to spend a lot of my time doing side stuff like fighting the Zerg on Throneworld, running for president, and hosting the award winning Separated at Birth series.

Betting is legal and as soon as I get my next batch of free tickets, I'll send you a couple. Do you have transportation to planet Hacknor?

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 11-18-2009 at 10:38 AM.. Reason: It's send, not sned!
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  #33  
Old 11-19-2009, 11:07 AM
Professor X Professor X is offline
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Have you started playing Evony yet? I recommend server 90 or 25.
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  #34  
Old 11-19-2009, 01:06 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
Have you started playing Evony yet? I recommend server 90 or 25.
I have not played Evony. Mostly I just stare at their online ads.
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  #35  
Old 11-19-2009, 01:10 PM
Professor X Professor X is offline
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What's your position on the gratuitous display of boobies?
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  #36  
Old 11-19-2009, 02:58 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
What's your position on the gratuitous display of boobies?
I am not currently against boobies.

But I'd like to be.
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  #37  
Old 11-19-2009, 03:16 PM
Grrr! Grrr! is offline
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Which aliens are the best in bed?
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  #38  
Old 11-19-2009, 03:36 PM
Gary Robson Gary Robson is offline
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Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
Is there any moral problem with registering for the same site with two different names?
[moderating]
Moral? No. But it is against the rules at SDMB. If you happen to know anyone who has done this, you might recommend having them contact the admins right away to straighten it out before they get banned.
[/moderating]
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  #39  
Old 11-19-2009, 04:08 PM
Ogre Ogre is offline
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Did you have to battle the Shadow in his Black Light form?
He dazzled you added 3 points to his score
Engulfed your microphone with darkness, added 3 more.

I understand, at this point, that the panel started to roar, and that you decided you must find the core of his power...

To win the battle, didn't you project a uni-beam through his spleen?
Pulled out your x-ray cannons to disintegrate the phantom?

Last edited by Ogre; 11-19-2009 at 04:09 PM..
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  #40  
Old 11-19-2009, 04:40 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakes View Post
Which aliens are the best in bed?
There are plenty, but I have to admit that I am not experienced in this area.

I'm married and my wife kind of looks like a cross between Maggie Gyllenhaal and Xena the Warrior Princess. I'm not taking any chances of getting her mad.
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  #41  
Old 11-19-2009, 05:05 PM
twickster twickster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfX View Post
Did you know I had to register with this site just so I could post this question?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
Is there any moral problem with registering for the same site with two different names?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfX View Post
Yeah, I'm curious about that too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator View Post
You might have to take that up with the mods...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor X View Post
You don't actually buy into the conspiracy theory that mods exist, do you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator View Post
I've seen how lame they are on other boards, but they seem pretty active around here.*

*That's kind of an inside joke. See, Professor X and I are both mods on another board that has only about 3 1/2 people who frequent it and of those 3 1/2, 3 are moderators.
Quote:
Originally Posted by InvisibleWombat View Post
[moderating]
Moral? No. But it is against the rules at SDMB. If you happen to know anyone who has done this, you might recommend having them contact the admins right away to straighten it out before they get banned.
[/moderating]
Too late. Both of those users have been banned. If that person (note the singular) wishes to ask to be reinstated under one or both of those names, he or she should contact TubaDiva at aol dot com.

What can I say? I'm not as nice as InvisibleWombat.
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  #42  
Old 11-19-2009, 05:15 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ogre View Post
Did you have to battle the Shadow in his Black Light form?
He dazzled you added 3 points to his score
Engulfed your microphone with darkness, added 3 more.

I understand, at this point, that the panel started to roar, and that you decided you must find the core of his power...

To win the battle, didn't you project a uni-beam through his spleen?
Pulled out your x-ray cannons to disintegrate the phantom?
Once a Gladiator Intergalactically
Fought the Black Light Shadow climactically
Shooting the Shadow in the face
And launching him into space
Was the Gladiator's best option, tactically
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  #43  
Old 11-20-2009, 06:42 AM
Dioptre Dioptre is offline
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When you say the fights are "real", you don't mean really real, right? Or is it in your contract that you have to keep up the pretense? I mean, I saw that move you used on Captain Xrytran, and there's no way it would have worked without his co-operation.

And that butt-kicking you gave The Incredible Trlylax? Given the number of small bones Zenophods have in that part of their body, he should have been in hospital for months if it was real, but he was fighting the next week!

It's entertaining, but it's all an act.
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  #44  
Old 11-20-2009, 11:51 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dioptre View Post
When you say the fights are "real", you don't mean really real, right? Or is it in your contract that you have to keep up the pretense? I mean, I saw that move you used on Captain Xrytran, and there's no way it would have worked without his co-operation.

And that butt-kicking you gave The Incredible Trlylax? Given the number of small bones Zenophods have in that part of their body, he should have been in hospital for months if it was real, but he was fighting the next week!

It's entertaining, but it's all an act.
What? Why good sir, I have not heard such an insulting thing before in all my life! Of course it's all real. It's all really real. Really really real.

Come down to the ring and fight Abi the Butcher and tell me it's not real.
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