What gives marching bands that awful sound?

[Patty O'Furniture]

That is almost a general question, but from here on it becomes highly opinionated.

I'm talking about the bands that march past my house every few months or so. There is one marching past my front doorstep as I type there words. From the sound of it, I am sure that somebody must be stomping out a bagpipes fire somewhere in the middle of the parade.

Often the band is from one of the local high schools, and I can usually reconcile the flat notes & lack of coordination to the assumption that they are students who have been studying the french horn for a few semesters at most. "Aww that's cute", I say, "There's a bunch of kids all trying to play the french horn at the same time". But this parade I am looking at is full of mature adults in their 30's, 40's & maybe even 50's. Surely they didn't just pick up a trombone a few months ago and decide to start learning how to play it.

Maybe it's because there is always an overabundance of brass & percussion, and no matter how skilled the musicians were all marching bands would still sound like that. This band sounds like 60% brass and 75% percussion. And yes I realize that is mathematically impossible but believe if you heard this band, I bet you'd agree.

I say we need to get a piano worked in some how. I know there are certain pratical problems involved with having a piano in a marching band, but nothing a flat bed pickup truck couldn't fix.

And why is the cymbal crash necessary precicely every 7 seconds by my watch? And why so many people playing snare drums? Is it really necessary to have 20 people playing the same kind of drum? No wonder they can't keep the same rhythm. And what in hell is that song they're playing anyway? Are they plaing it so badly that I can't even recognize it or is it just a song nobody has ever heard before? You'd think it would be something fairly popular for them to be marching down the street playing for the entire neighborhood.

Has anybody ever seen a marching band with a large contingent of banjo players? That would probably still sound awful, but at least it would be different.