My 5 year old stepson, the beatnik poet... (iPhone humor)

[Woeg]

After years of hanging on to her iPhone 3, and though she was holding out for an iPhone 5, my wife's old phone finally gave up the ghost and we ended up getting her a a 4S. With Siri. Which my wife LOVES.

But you know who also loves Siri? Our 5 year old little boy...as we found out when a number of friends asked us about the strange text messages they were getting. Apparently, our boy was playing with the phone, accidently activated Siri, and the following are his triumphant voice-to-text compositions, as received by our stunned (and laughing) friends...mind you, he's autistic, so Siri was doing her best to interpret his sometimes difficult to understand speech...

How that's just the energy
monster and and and
mother are very yeah add
add a love doll where is
the day ha ha ha ha ha
Are Cheewall about that

Jason or mayonnaise stain
remind me know I don't
know what to say but I
need to lose the Listow
was doing a what are you
going to be ready by his
attitude and well wet babe
poop in the air by
happening

Pinot Noir F5 F5 I'm
hungry and five Colleen I
message you receive and
make how you dad yet is
watching you mad linstock
ready for why I are at five
and again right now I'm
mad and I'll raining wow or
are you or are you doing
Onekea?

Where are we right back
by itself Siri Daniel and
have your name is built
through not images of a
nap or any and get it (the
best Bonnie that means
soon as he needed a nap
Blairmont me a behind)

I show you how you're
going to Tintop is and
keeping about her note or
or or or or and love that...
are you stinky or
somebody
Gay yeah

Are you home or are you
did not pay you eight or
are ;-) You are Aulenbach
you always wanted
Lemonds up on a black on
and onit when I say and
wow ha ha

[jjimm]

Absolutely magnificent. I'm wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.

Can you imagine being the recipient of one of those masterpieces?

Priceless.

[FairyChatMom]

I didn't hear it so much as beat poetry as hip hop, which tends to make as much sense to me. Copyright it and shop it around to various artists!

[JSexton]

Beck pretty much made a career out of setting that to music, so there's that!

[Rachellelogram]

"Pinot Noir F5 F5" could be a treatise about alcohol abuse in the internet age. It's fabu!

[koeeoaddi]

"You are Aulenbach
you always wanted"

A language poet! And a fabulous one. Please let me know when the book comes out.

[Woeg]

He was home with a tummy ache today, and again managed some new compositions. I'll start with the least controversial...

Are I need hi hi
mom I love love you a lot
yeah yeah

Are you up by the way
you me at the bottom
line by...shut her leg up

her Baghdad or add her I am
mad I am an alien or or are
we mad

Ice cream or or or or and
or and I'll know not let you
know when you like and I
don't make any narrow
mind their wound back.


And then there is this one...which went to my very religious (and thankfully, very well humored) sister-in-law...

Honey have name is
Angela, I cannot I named
you five or Karok funny or
Galistat doors are yeah

You, yeah now what we get
a copy of all machine and
please lodge Dallas I love
you

Hello are you gone me by
by f#ck f#ck f#ck f#ck f#ck
f#ck f#ck f#ck f#ck f#ck

And no, Siri did not add in the # sign - I simply replaced the U's since this isn't the pit Near as we can tell, that's Siri's translation of the sounds an autistic 5 year old makes when pretending to be a transformer changing shape.

My sister-in-law's response?

"Xan has your phone again. I hope."

[Ferret Herder]

Best yet, to the best of my understanding, you can't even passcode-lock the phone in such a way to block access to Siri. So even with a password on the phone, anyone can have Siri read your text messages or E-mail, or... let your wannabe poet send out his missives to anyone in your address book.

[pravnik]

Crazy, baby!

[Sunspace]

This is prime T-shirt material.

Although I see it more as scrolling by in a window in the heads-up display of Baby Terminator.

[Anaamika]

: snaps fingers in rhythm :

[SticksAndString]

OMG so funny..sitting here with big fat tears rolling down my cheeks.

This line:
wet babe
poop in the air
had me just rolling over laughing, though I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's the twelve year old in me that's giggling over the word 'poop'.

[Sleel]

Originally Posted by Ferret Herder

Best yet, to the best of my understanding, you can't even passcode-lock the phone in such a way to block access to Siri. So even with a password on the phone, anyone can have Siri read your text messages or E-mail, or... let your wannabe poet send out his missives to anyone in your address book.

Settings > General > Passcode Lock (enter passcode) > in the next screen is an entry for Siri, switch that to "off" and you won't be able to use Siri from the lock screen anymore.

Re: the OP, the "poems" are damn cool. I'm jealous.

[Ferret Herder]

Originally Posted by Sleel

Settings > General > Passcode Lock (enter passcode) > in the next screen is an entry for Siri, switch that to "off" and you won't be able to use Siri from the lock screen anymore.

Re: the OP, the "poems" are damn cool. I'm jealous.

Ah, excellent, thank you. I'd only read about the existence of the security hole and not the solution/fix.

And to echo the others - *snaps fingers, adjusts her beret*

[Snowboarder Bo]

/fingersnap

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

Originally Posted by Ferret Herder

So even with a password on the phone, anyone can have Siri read your text messages or E-mail, or... let your wannabe poet send out his missives to anyone in your address book.

Actually, though Siri can send email and text messages when the phone is locked (unless you disable it as described by Sleel, it can't read your email.

I leave Siri on, because when I want to use voice commands, I don't want to have to unlock. If I ask Siri to read my email, it tells me it can't do that while locked, and it pulls up a lock screen.