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  #51  
Old 04-26-2012, 12:00 AM
florez florez is offline
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Maybe, she is concerned that she might seem like a boring and desperate person with nothing better to do, or one who is easily available to go out at a moments notice.
Her reasoning may be, that If you get this impression of her, from the first; that you may not respect her as much, or value her as a person.
It is a strategy that some young people, with a bit of low self esteem, or inexperience, may use.
Do not assume she is blowing you off.
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  #52  
Old 04-26-2012, 05:46 AM
Rachellelogram Rachellelogram is offline
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Having been a female student myself, I'd wager to say that most girls in that age range wouldn't be available for a same-day date with a brand-new person. Prepping for a date can be a big deal, depending on how much she likes you and whether she's high- or low-maintenance. She may need to get her nails done, hair done, and have a full lower-body wax before she's comfortable going out on a new first date. Even I, who was fairly low-maintenance in those days, still liked to do my hair/makeup and shave everything for a new first date in my college days. If I already had a club meeting or plans to study or go out with friends that night, there's no way I'd have time for a date.
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  #53  
Old 04-26-2012, 07:10 AM
Fenris Fenris is offline
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The only real way to tell is to take a can of anchovies, open it up, and dump it down the front of her blouse. That is the way a man in my country courts a woman.

If she is uninterested, she will remove the anchovies and discard them (meaning "You're a nice guy, and I'd love to be friends, but let's not complicate this? You'll always be...important...to me in many special ways") or feed them to her cat (meaning "You filthy son of a whoremonger! How dare you approach me? I spit on the shadow of your face!")

If, however, she's interested, she will leave them on her and not shower until the next full moon, whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called pescado and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon.
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  #54  
Old 04-26-2012, 08:52 AM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Originally Posted by Fenris View Post
The only real way to tell is to take a can of anchovies, open it up, and dump it down the front of her blouse. That is the way a man in my country courts a woman.

If she is uninterested, she will remove the anchovies and discard them (meaning "You're a nice guy, and I'd love to be friends, but let's not complicate this? You'll always be...important...to me in many special ways") or feed them to her cat (meaning "You filthy son of a whoremonger! How dare you approach me? I spit on the shadow of your face!")

If, however, she's interested, she will leave them on her and not shower until the next full moon, whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called pescado and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon.
But whatever you do, DO NOT try to shake her hand. You could end up in jail.
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  #55  
Old 04-26-2012, 01:53 PM
florez florez is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenris View Post
T
whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called pescado and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon.
Yes, as I recall... it was after I danced an especially fiery version of the "pescado", that my true love and I decided- that we were meant to be.
Of course, in my case, it was freshly caught salmon- flung straight at me, directly from the net.
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  #56  
Old 04-26-2012, 02:12 PM
Capt Kirk Capt Kirk is offline
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Relax Brother she said yes, in most cases getting into a hurry won't do you any good. Go out with her next week, get to know her, a little patience goes a long way. Deep breaths and try not to think about her, while you are having a tug. Ha ha
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  #57  
Old 04-26-2012, 02:35 PM
Chessic Sense Chessic Sense is offline
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Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
I don't think she's given you enough info yet to ask her out. I'd wait until she hired a pilot to fly a plane overhead as class is ending with a banner that reads: Will you fucking ask me out already!!!
See, that would just put me off entirely. I have no use for a woman that doesn't know a ! from a ?.
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  #58  
Old 04-27-2012, 07:37 AM
2ManyTacos 2ManyTacos is offline
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Well, now I'm pretty damned sure that I've been undeniably blown off.

I get to class yesterday and she essentially ignores me the entire time it's in session, which, yeah, I can accept because it is class after all. That class let out early, so as we're sitting in the next class I asked her what her schedule looked like for next week, to which she responded by beginning "well, here's the thing..." and proceeding to describe some really dramatic situation involving her friend and some medical issues, that apparently had just happened the day before, that will tie up her time indefinitely but that she will "keep me posted."

Eh, I was probably visibly upset at that point but everything was still cordial, and she continued to talk to me in order to (presumably) ease the tension. I'd love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that her excuse is legitimate, but it just seemed so conveniently placed and bizarre that I have a lot of trouble thinking it was anything more than her subtly indicating "piss off." I did send her a text last night telling her to keep me updated, but that's honestly as far as I'm going to go here; I can only believe that, at this point, if she is genuinely keen on going out then she'll take the next step. I mean, seriously, I can only stick my neck out there so many times before it just starts to feel wierd.

So to recap: We've gone from her being apparently eager to get something going to her having her time tied up indefinitely but that I'll be "kept posted," whatever that's supposed to mean.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering.

But hey, give me an A for effort. At least I tried and put myself out there.
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  #59  
Old 04-27-2012, 07:48 AM
sandra_nz sandra_nz is offline
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Awww, sorry to hear it's turned out this way, it seemed like a sure thing from your first post.

Women, like cats, is weird.
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  #60  
Old 04-27-2012, 08:52 AM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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I'll give you an A for effort, but do try to remember that even though the timing is suspicious, she truly might just have had a time-consuming emergency - things do happen, and they do tend to happen at the most inconvenient times. Waiting for her to make the next move is the right thing to do. Well, not exactly waiting for her - moving on, and if she calls, yay! If not, you've moved on.
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  #61  
Old 04-27-2012, 08:59 AM
kmshrader kmshrader is offline
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Originally Posted by sandra_nz View Post
Awww, sorry to hear it's turned out this way, it seemed like a sure thing from your first post.

Women, like cats, is weird.
I'd like to argue that folks in general is weird, and, coming at the end of a similar weird situation, I say put her out of your head as well as you can. Not 'cos I'm the best at giving advice, but that's what people are telling me, and if I'd listened at the beginning I wouldn't be as attached as I am.

If she does get back to you it'll be a pleasant surprise. If not, you're better off.

One of my best female friends flirts with every man around her, and will semi-regularly agree to go on dates with men she's not interested in. She thinks she's being nice, and she likes to spend time with them platonically. I don't understand it at all, but some people are just like that.
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  #62  
Old 04-27-2012, 09:23 AM
Steken Steken is offline
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Awwww damnit, I was rooting for you all along! Too bad. Nothing new, though. People are strange.

Anyways, the best thing to do now is to delete her number, as a preventive strike against any future drunken/desperate texting on your part. If, after all that, she actually wants to date you after all, she will make a move.

Next step after deleting her number: On to the next one, soldier! A young man with Quintilian-level talkin' skills, a bunch of badass tats and the backing of the SDMB love-doctors shan't go long without a date.

Last edited by Steken; 04-27-2012 at 09:24 AM..
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  #63  
Old 04-27-2012, 01:23 PM
2ManyTacos 2ManyTacos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmshrader View Post
I'd like to argue that folks in general is weird, and, coming at the end of a similar weird situation, I say put her out of your head as well as you can. Not 'cos I'm the best at giving advice, but that's what people are telling me, and if I'd listened at the beginning I wouldn't be as attached as I am.

If she does get back to you it'll be a pleasant surprise. If not, you're better off.

One of my best female friends flirts with every man around her, and will semi-regularly agree to go on dates with men she's not interested in. She thinks she's being nice, and she likes to spend time with them platonically. I don't understand it at all, but some people are just like that.
Eh, that's kinda where my frustration is coming from here. I mean, if she had just said "no" when I first asked her out, I would've just shrugged it off and moved on; the fact that she said "yes" and gave me her number and seemed keen initially on doing something just bugs me now that this most recent thing has happened. It makes no fucking sense to me, really, why she would've said "yes" in the first place if she had no intention of going out.

Ugh. Hopefully she gets back to me, but otherwise all I can do is act like nothing happened, period. In the meantime, I'll start holding my breath when she does.
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  #64  
Old 04-27-2012, 08:26 PM
Sleeps With Butterflies Sleeps With Butterflies is offline
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Originally Posted by 2ManyTacos View Post
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering.
If you really and truly believe what I've bolded then there must be far, far more to this interaction than we will ever know. Really, that's absurd.
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  #65  
Old 04-27-2012, 08:34 PM
Miss_Gnomer Miss_Gnomer is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ManyTacos View Post
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ManyTacos View Post
It makes no fucking sense to me, really, why she would've said "yes" in the first place if she had no intention of going out.
Wow you've looked for the worst in this situation! Deception? really?! People change their minds. Situations change - maybe she saw you picking your nose in class?! Maybe her childhood sweetheart suddenly came back?

Of course you can't make sense of someone else's decisions when you have no idea of what is going on in their life, but purposeful deception is not generally the way most people go about their lives. I doubt she planned to do this to hurt you or make you feel bad or even mislead you.
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  #66  
Old 04-28-2012, 01:53 PM
florez florez is offline
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Well, at least you tried.
Consider it practice at working up your nerve- for better opportunities to come.
This attempt will make it easier for you next time; if you don't let it bring you down.
And don't assume that all women are going to be like this particular one.
For what its worth, this whole situation will just become a small part of your learning experience.
You will learn from it - what to look for, what red flags are flying,
and how many fish are still in the sea.
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  #67  
Old 04-28-2012, 06:08 PM
Otara Otara is offline
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Look I cant answer for anyone else, but this was some of my younger years.

Id get girls being friendly and Id think they were just being friendly, in retrospect they were interested in me because I was an arty dancer and somewhat interesting and all that, and all was fine as long as I just thought they were being friendly.

But when it came to the crunch Id ask them out and would sound well, desperate - the anxiety was palpable and I'd instantly make it into an awkward situation. I went from being cool and interesting to the interest vanishing in a matter of seconds. I think this is mostly because the other person knows when that level of anxiety occurs, no easy exit will be possible, going out once will be seen as a 'commitment' and 'WHYYY wont you go out with me' as almost a guarantee down the track.

Given you eventually asked her out by answering message, I guess Im wondering if something similar happened here, given the cool tattoo vs nervousness thing happening. If not, well lucky Im married now I guess, because I dont think dating was exactly my strong suit, and Im just glad Im not that age any more as well.

Otara
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