Tired of holidays with my in-laws-in-law

[Antigen]

I'm tired of having to grit my teeth and sit through stuffy holiday get-togethers with my brother-in-law's wife's parents. We've been invited to a Mother's Day dinner and I'm trying to find a polite way to get out of it.

They're not bad people, and it's very kind of them to include us in their invitations, but they're just not people I enjoy spending any time with. They keep trying to host things because it saves my brother-in-law and sister-in-law (and their 10-month-old) from having to choose between sets of parents at Christmas or Thanksgiving - her parents invite his parents over for the festivities. That's great for them, but it also means that if we want Thanksgiving dinner with my husband's family, we have to go to his brother's wife's parents' place, which I hate. They're not his family, they're not my family, and I resent being pushed into a relationship with them. She generally acts like everything I say is slightly inappropriate, nodding and smiling and turning away to another conversation, while he's an animated functional alcoholic who moves towards slurred sports and political rants by the end of the night while his wife smiles tightly and serves us coffee in tiny gilded cups. I am always so uncomfortable there, and it's not like I have the option of ditching these events to be with my family, as they're all back in Canada.

Mother's Day is especially tough on me this year, because besides me missing my own mother and grandmother terribly, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a while with no success yet. The email invitation came to us saying that the guys would do the cooking and cleaning up while the Moms would get to play with the grandkid! How fun! I'm not a guy or a Mom, shall I sit over by the sink and read a book?

I want to say I'm being ridiculous and they're only trying to be nice, but I have no illusions that they actually want my company. I'm only there because it would be rude not to include us, and I feel that from the moment I set foot into their house. Maybe if I have to go this year, I'll be inappropriate and classless, since she's acting like I am anyway, and then I'll get drunk and yell at him about hockey.