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  #1  
Old 04-25-2012, 10:52 PM
RandMcnally RandMcnally is offline
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Instead of studying, I made really lame "yo momma" jokes

Yo momma so fat that she’d have to starve herself for two years in order to come down with kwashiorkor

Yo momma so dumb that when she was told she had Treponea pallidum she thought she got accepted into Hogwarts

Yo momma so lazy that when the Tsetse fly gave her trypanosomiasis no one could tell the difference

Yo momma so dumb that when she was bit by the dermacenter tick she thought, “Good, now I can go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.”

Yo momma so fat that she’s immune from schistosomiasis: cercaria cannot get to her blood stream due to the fat in her legs

Yo momma so fat that cheeseburgers knock down the hookworms that try to latch on

Yo momma so dumb that when she got bit by aedes aegypti she thought she was getting free Adidas from Egypt
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  #2  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:04 PM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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What's the difference between yo momma and a laundry machine?
SPOILER:
A laundry machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.
  #3  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:39 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon View Post
What's the difference between yo momma and a laundry machine?
SPOILER:
A laundry machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.
You totally stole that from "30 Rock"!

Now, if I could just remember the one Jack said...
  #4  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:40 PM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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Yo mama so fat, when she has to haul ass, she has to make two trips.

I stole that from someone on the Dope - I loved it!
  #5  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:46 PM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer View Post
You totally stole that from "30 Rock"!
  #6  
Old 04-25-2012, 11:54 PM
Zsofia Zsofia is offline
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Yo mama so fat, she got other fat ladies in orbit around her!

(I've always liked that one for the imagery. I picture all the ladies in question ecstatically dancing to the music of the spheres. Which is to say the music of yo mama.)
  #7  
Old 04-26-2012, 06:14 AM
Jackknifed Juggernaut Jackknifed Juggernaut is offline
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I don't think that the OP is asking for regular ol' Yo Momma jokes.
  #8  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:04 AM
Cat Whisperer Cat Whisperer is offline
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I don't think so either, but you can't always get what you want.
  #9  
Old 04-26-2012, 12:06 PM
Left Hand of Dorkness Left Hand of Dorkness is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer View Post
I don't think so either, but you can't always get what you want.
Indeed. I, for instance, got yo momma.
  #10  
Old 04-26-2012, 12:11 PM
Anne Neville Anne Neville is offline
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Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is a meter!
  #11  
Old 04-26-2012, 01:29 PM
xanthous xanthous is offline
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Yo momma's armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
  #12  
Old 04-26-2012, 01:33 PM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
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Yo mamma so dumb that she thought manual labor was a Mexican actor.
  #13  
Old 04-26-2012, 01:53 PM
mozchron mozchron is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RandMcnally View Post
Yo momma so fat that she’d have to starve herself for two years in order to come down with kwashiorkor

Yo momma so dumb that when she was told she had Treponea pallidum she thought she got accepted into Hogwarts

Yo momma so lazy that when the Tsetse fly gave her trypanosomiasis no one could tell the difference

Yo momma so dumb that when she was bit by the dermacenter tick she thought, “Good, now I can go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.”

Yo momma so fat that she’s immune from schistosomiasis: cercaria cannot get to her blood stream due to the fat in her legs

Yo momma so fat that cheeseburgers knock down the hookworms that try to latch on

Yo momma so dumb that when she got bit by aedes aegypti she thought she was getting free Adidas from Egypt
You're not one of my parasitology students, are you? I'd probably give you an extra credit point if you wrote that on an exam.

Of course, you'd lose points for not capitalizing "Aedes" and "Dermacentor"

Last edited by mozchron; 04-26-2012 at 01:54 PM.
  #14  
Old 04-26-2012, 02:15 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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Do you know who ELSE loved dogs? Yo momma.
  #15  
Old 04-26-2012, 03:27 PM
Punoqllads Punoqllads is offline
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Yo mama so dumb when I said I was having trouble with a regular expression she told me to eat more fiber.
  #16  
Old 04-26-2012, 03:44 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Your momma is so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
  #17  
Old 04-26-2012, 05:42 PM
Malacandra Malacandra is offline
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Yo momma so fat that the Dope is universally agreed that she should eat less and take some exercise.
  #18  
Old 04-26-2012, 06:17 PM
Digital is the new Analog Digital is the new Analog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malacandra View Post
Yo momma so fat that the Dope is universally agreed that she should eat less and take some exercise.
I call BS on this. The Dope doesn't universally agree on anything! It's part of our charm.



Yo mamma.


-D/a
  #19  
Old 04-26-2012, 07:58 PM
minlokwat minlokwat is offline
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Yo momma’s so fat her blood type is gravy.

Yo momma’s so fat when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet she pulls up a chair.

Yo momma’s so fat she went to a restaurant and the waiter handed her the menu. She looked at it for a minute and said, “O.K.”
  #20  
Old 04-27-2012, 05:04 AM
Jaguars! Jaguars! is offline
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Trying to capture the OP's intent...

Last night I worked yo mamma from the whole to the part - she fitted class B tolerances quite nicely. However, she so nasty she gave me a site induction before I plowed her.

Yo Mamma so fat they measure her in geodesics.

Yo Mamma so fat she upsets the bubbles in spirit levels.

Yo Mamma so fat, when she lies down, yo can do a resection using her nose, tits and toes- and stay out of the danger circle. Kinda proud of this one

Yo Mamma so fat she causes distortions in the geodetic datum.

Yo Mamma so poor she still uses a Troughton & Simms Theodolite and a Gunther's chain. whyyy???

Yo Mamma so old all her hanging lines have been chained and observed twice

Yo Mamma so easy they declared between her legs a legal road (20.12m wide, formed, unsealed).

What a silly thread. Jaguars! disapproves.

Last edited by Jaguars!; 04-27-2012 at 05:05 AM.
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