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#4751
04-05-2012, 04:57 PM
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"Whoops, I'm not perfect,"
I said, "but I am rich. Let's go out." She said yes. 
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#4752
04-05-2012, 07:11 PM
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Go out! she said - Yes,
I would if I could think straight Smoke inhalation
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#4753
04-06-2012, 02:01 PM
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Smoke inhalation
The brave knight should hold his breath When fighting dragons
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#4754
04-06-2012, 10:01 PM
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When fighting dragons,
You may become a hero Just ask old St. George
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#4756
04-07-2012, 04:06 PM
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Really helped that much?
That hamburger needed more Than salt and noodles
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#4757
04-09-2012, 09:13 AM
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Than salt and noodles
All we need to ride out this Horrific blizzard.
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#4758
04-09-2012, 10:24 AM
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Horrific blizzard
Sun, rain, drizzle, fog and snow Spring in Newfoundland
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#4759
04-09-2012, 11:10 AM
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Spring in Newfoundland:
Get the camera, Honey! Codfish are spawning!
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#4760
04-09-2012, 02:23 PM
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Codfish are spawning!
Whales are humping! Minnows are mating! Spring is here!
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#4761
04-09-2012, 04:03 PM
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Mating! Spring is here!
Time for a lecture about The birds and the bees.
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#4762
04-09-2012, 06:15 PM
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The birds and the bees
Are strange to me, unlike the Fruits and the farries
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#4763
04-09-2012, 06:40 PM
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#4764
04-19-2012, 02:44 PM
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At the Freakers' Ball
I shall flirt and party and do the Mustard Beat
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#4765
04-19-2012, 03:22 PM
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Do the Mustard Beat!
Fap-fappity-fap-fap It's so addictive!
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#4767
04-19-2012, 03:48 PM
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The SDMB.
Has nothing to do with sex, drugs, music or bands.
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#4768
04-23-2012, 08:18 PM
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Drugs, music, or bands
or sex -- can't make up my mind, I'll do everything.
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#4769
04-23-2012, 08:35 PM
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I'll do everything
Wash my hands and comb my hair I'm a well groomed groom
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#4770
04-23-2012, 08:52 PM
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I'm a well groomed groom,
Looking for my pie-eyed bride; Seen her anywhere?
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#4771
04-25-2012, 09:45 AM
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Seen her anywhere?
The girl who broke my heat. Tell me, have you seen her?
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#4772
04-26-2012, 10:52 AM
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Me: Have you seen her?
Some dude: Seen her? I did her! Story of my life.
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#4774
04-26-2012, 05:13 PM
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#4775
04-27-2012, 07:23 AM
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#4776
04-30-2012, 12:28 PM
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Sexual counsel.
God knows how bad I need that. Can you give me some?
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#4777
05-12-2012, 01:52 PM
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Can you give me some?
I am all out, can't you see And you have so much
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#4778
05-12-2012, 10:41 PM
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And you have so much
Gallons of yummy mustard Some for my wiener?
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#4779
05-14-2012, 08:16 AM
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Some for my weiner
And a little for my beans Both like attention
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#4780
05-14-2012, 08:29 AM
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Both like attention
And I like my weiner to Stand at attention
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#4781
05-14-2012, 06:26 PM
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"Stand at attention,
you maggots," said the sergeant. "Can I sit?" I asked.
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#4782
05-16-2012, 09:16 AM
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"Can I sit?" I asked
Doc said yes then he dropped his lunch in the body
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#4783
05-16-2012, 02:40 PM
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lunch in the body
hard metal merges with flesh turn this world to rust
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#4784
05-18-2012, 03:14 PM
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turn this world to rust
and we'll all have much more time 'cause rust never sleeps
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#4785
05-18-2012, 03:18 PM
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'cause rust never sleeps
When you don't know who to trust. It's dust in the wind.
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#4786
05-18-2012, 04:55 PM
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Last edited by Mean Mr. Mustard; 05-18-2012 at 04:58 PM.
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#4787
05-18-2012, 05:08 PM
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"It's what's on my mind"
Said the piano mover When the rope gave way.
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#4788
05-18-2012, 06:24 PM
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When the rope gave way
And my handgun misfired I became pro-life
|
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#4789
05-21-2012, 07:52 AM
|
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I became pro-life
Then I got a gun and killed Planned Parenthood staffs.
|
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#4790
05-22-2012, 12:41 PM
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Planned Parenthood staffs
weren't ready for me. "We ne'er expected this!"
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#4791
05-22-2012, 06:09 PM
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Ne'er expected this
Thread to last such a long time Will we hit "5 grand"?
|
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#4792
05-23-2012, 06:03 PM
|
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|
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Will we hit 5 grand?
Never fear, dear, I already owe much more than that.
|
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#4793
05-25-2012, 03:47 PM
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Owe much more than that
And I may as well sell my Bieber autograph
|
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#4794
05-25-2012, 04:38 PM
|
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Bieber autograph
Solicited by teen gal Waiting fruitlessly
|
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#4795
05-25-2012, 05:24 PM
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Waited fruitlessly
'cause that damn banana truck Stood me up again
|
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#4796
05-25-2012, 07:01 PM
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Stood me up again,
by golly, and I even paid for Viagra
|
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#4797
05-25-2012, 07:23 PM
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Paid for Viagra
But they sent me V1agr@ Can't trust spam these days!
|
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#4798
05-25-2012, 10:10 PM
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Can't trust spam these days!
I'd go ahead and put my Money on Alpo.
|
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#4799
05-25-2012, 10:30 PM
|
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Money on Alpo
Money on dog whisperers I'm so doggone broke
|
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#4800
05-26-2012, 01:30 PM
|
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|
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I'm so doggone broke,
split in a million pieces. Get the Crazy Glue!
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