If you don't know that ____, then we can't be together.

[Uber_the_Goober]

If you don't know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to load the dishwasher, then we can't be together.

Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean.
This is not an opinion, this is not me being "domineering", or "a control freak". Them's just the facts.

If you don't know that burping and farting in my presence is not sexually appealing, then we can't be together.

If you don't know/can't tolerate that I enjoy spending time in leisure activities that include BOTH hiking/camping, and playing computer games, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that the money I earn must go first to pay bills, then afterwards can buy frivolous things, then we can't be together.

I like this style of pointing out a partner's faults...it makes me feel so ... justified.

[Alice The Goon]

If you don't know that you need to have proper and correct grammar and spelling, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that I need my alone time, and it has nothing to do with you, personally, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that I will not tolerate being insulted and called names by someone that claims to love me, then we can't be together.

[Lamar Mundane]

Originally Posted by echo6160

Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean.
This is not an opinion, this is not me being "domineering", or "a control freak". Them's just the facts.

We can't be together.

[Sarabellum1976]

If you don't understand that laundry does not pick itself up and fling itself into the washing machine, without human intervention, then we can't be together.

[Rigamarole]

You sound like a barrel of fun.

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by echo6160

If you don't know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to load the dishwasher, then we can't be together.

Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean.

If you ever expect me to load a dishwater, we can't be together. If you ever nag me about any housework whatsoever, we can't be together.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

If you ever expect me to load a dishwater, we can't be together. If you ever nag me about any housework whatsoever, we can't be together.

*high five*

[Uber_the_Goober]

If you don't know that I am not actually interested in your stories about cosmetology and the intricacies therein, and that I am only listening to be polite and supportive, then we can't be together.

If you don't know why I lost attraction to you when you gained 45 pounds and your crotch began to stink, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that I'm unable to hear you with my headphones on, and you keep talking anyway, and blame me for not listening, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that it's not OK with me for you to spend more time with your male friends than you do with me, then we can't be together.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

You sound like a barrel of fun.

Har har! I like to think that I am an incredibly fun person. I'm immature on a moments notice, but I don't let that get me into trouble, or hold me back from dealing with "grown ups".

If you don't know that things which are unfortunate for someone else are the basis of all humour, then we can't be together.

Similarly, if you don't know that Monty Python is (mostly) funny, and that this is an objective statement as opposed to an opinion, then we can't be together.

Funny how what you "know" and what you "don't know" shape your reality by giving you a different perspective...regardless of what facts may exist.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by Sarabellum1976

If you don't understand that laundry does not pick itself up and fling itself into the washing machine, without human intervention, then we can't be together.

Hah!

If you don't know that the word "slob" has a definition, and that I could replace the word "slob" with your name in the dictionary and have it still be true, then we can't be together.

[Rhythmdvl]

If you don't know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to dispose of body, then we can't be together.

Right way - after a cycle, the corpse is gone.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the corpse is still in the trunk.

This is not an opinion, this is not me being "domineering", or "a control freak". Them's just the facts.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Rhythmdvl

If you don't know that there is a right way, and a wrong way to dispose of body, then we can't be together.

Right way - after a cycle, the corpse is gone.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the corpse is still in the trunk.

Add to that: no fingerprints or DNA left at the crime scene.

[Runs With Scissors]

Originally Posted by echo6160

Right way - after a cycle, the dishes are clean.
Wrong way - after a cycle, the dishes are not clean.
This is not an opinion, this is not me being "domineering", or "a control freak". Them's just the facts.

I've read this several times and I still can't understand it.

Why are the dishes sometimes clean after a "cycle" and sometimes not clean after a "cycle." And is a cycle the entire process?

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by echo6160

Har har! I like to think that I am an incredibly fun person.

I like to think I have a foot-long dick and can levitate objects with my mind. It sure is fun to think stuff!

[faithfool]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

*high five*

I think you two would make a perfect couple....

[Inner Stickler]

Originally Posted by Runs With Scissors

I've read this several times and I still can't understand it.

Why are the dishes sometimes clean after a "cycle" and sometimes not clean after a "cycle." And is a cycle the entire process?

If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160's Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp.


Clearer?

[Missy2U]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

I like to think I have a foot-long dick and can levitate objects with my mind. It sure is fun to think stuff!

I always thought that about you too! What a coincidence!

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by Inner Stickler

If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160's Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp.


Clearer?

The problem is not that the dishes are dirty afterwards, it's the stubborn attitude that accompanies the "I'm always right, and what I do is good enough, and if it's not good enough then I'll ignore it" train of thought.

The dishwasher is just one common household chore that illustrates the point.

Clearer?

[Renee]

Originally Posted by Inner Stickler

If you run the dishwasher and the dishes are all clean, congratulations, you win the Not A Fuckup Award. If you run the dishwasher and all or some of the dishes are still dirty, report to echo6160's Dishwasher and Relationship Reeducation Camp.


Clearer?

Yes, thank you. I was also completely lost. So, OP, if I unload the dishwasher and there is a bowl that needs another washing: FAIL! (and dumped) Correct?

[Derleth]

If you ever use the phrase "Let's agree to disagree", you and I best have nothing to do with each other.

[brainstall]

Anyone else coming to the conclusion that echo6160 is in a relationship with someone he shouldn't be and just doesn't know it?

(or am I just stating the blatantly obvious)

[Thudlow Boink]

Originally Posted by Renee

So, OP, if I unload the dishwasher and there is a bowl that needs another washing: FAIL! (and dumped) Correct?

I think it's: If I unload the dishwasher and there is a bowl that needs another washing and I continue to insist that the way I loaded the dishwasher is The True Correct Way: FAIL! (and dumped)

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by brainstall

Anyone else coming to the conclusion that echo6160 is in a relationship with someone he shouldn't be and just doesn't know it?

(or am I just stating the blatantly obvious)

I think so too. I am always amazed when couples bring up issues like which way the toilet paper should hang or how the dishwasher should be loaded. There is only two ways this can go:

1) The complaint is a proxy for much larger issues

OR

2) One of the people in the relationship has never been exposed to real problems like a life threatening health problems, the death of a child, loss of home through natural disaster, or job loss.

I have been through all of #2 and I am divorced partially because of those. I have no respect whatsoever for people that harp on the trivial bullshit.Those aren't that important in the overall scheme of things. It may be a proxy for bigger problems but do everyone a favor including yourself and address those rather than nagging about something that isn't that big a deal. Your patner may have to change your diapers ten times a day someday when you get Alzheimers. That is what each of you signed up for. I am sure your partner takes care of things that you barely even know exist. That is the way all decent relationships work. If you don't have one of those, don't blame it on a household appliance.

[Inner Stickler]

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

I am sure your spouse takes care of things that you barely even know exist.

Did anyone else immediately imagine a vampire-staking, demon-hunter SAHM? Someone get me AMC on the line!

[Rachellelogram]

If you don't agree with why I won't wear diamonds, then we can't be together.

[Loach]

If you are completely anal about how I load the dishwasher we can still be together as long as you are hot but lighten the fuck up.

[elbows]

If you live in a black and white world of ultimatums, we can't be together.

If you're so proud, as to boast, of your immaturity, we can't be together.

If you can't understand that, I am not you, and am not interested in doing everything, the way you deem best, we can't be together.

If you enjoy pointing out the flaws of the person you love, we can't be together.

[Shagnasty]

Originally Posted by Loach

If you are completely anal about how I load the dishwasher we can still be together as long as you are hot but lighten the fuck up.

That sounds bad because itis but it does make a great point. People value different things differently. Females tend to focus on household chores that we see little value in. Many of them are just pointless from my perspective. OTOH, plenty of men want their wife to stay hot and they don't do it. It is considered heartless to criticize them for that.

I say we all make deal. Husbands do household chores in a 1:1 ratio for every minute that their wives hit the treadmill (high intensity only). Everybody wins in that arrangement.

[chacoguy]

If you can't pick your battles and simply rewash a dish, by hand, in the sink....

[Beware of Doug]

If you don't know that's not butter, then we can't be together.

[elbows]

I say we all make deal. Husbands do household chores in a 1:1 ratio for every minute that their wives hit the treadmill (high intensity only). Everybody wins in that arrangement.

I seriously cannot wrap my head around adults being obsessed with bodies. Are people truly this shallow? If you/she were horribly disfigured in an accident, your body altered, no longer 'hot', you'd be out the door with a clear conscience?

Because you're either all about the 'hotness' or you're not. No 'but it's not an accident she got heavy!' That's a hairsplitting difference that reflects badly on you. Always.

Were you raised by wolves? Does anyone, making this complaint, have a moments reflection on the life lesson they are begging to have rain down upon them?

Do you simply not care a whit that you sound like the ultimate in shallow douchebags when you go on about this? I never hear these sorts of remarks that it doesn't absolutely astound me.

Colour me amazed, yet again. Oh, and sorry for the hijack.

[Steophan]

Being obsessed with how someone looks is marginally less dumb that being obsessed with how someone loads the dishwasher.

[Clockwork Jackal]

If you make lists of why we can't be together, and it contains mostly petty shit that you can't let go of, then we can't be together.

[Pixiesnix]

If you live more than 500 miles away, then we can't be together.

If you are currently in prison, then we can't be together.

If you are dead, then we can't be together.

[simple homer]

Several years ago a woman ended a relationship with me because she was not happy with the direction in which I hung toilet paper and with how the pots and pans were stacked inside my kitchen cabinets.

I never pay attention to how toilet paper is hung, or how pots and pans are stacked, so if she had just asked to to do it a different way I would not have cared.

Anyway, she insisted that it was all just too disturbing for her, and it really was the reason as to why she wanted to end the relationship.

Her own house was spotless, so I do believe it is something that is very important to her.

My mistake for putting my ___ in the crazy....






.

[Makeitstop]

If you don't know that my ultimatums are almost always negotiable, we can't be together.

[tumbleddown]

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

That sounds bad because itis but it does make a great point. People value different things differently. Females tend to focus on household chores that we see little value in. Many of them are just pointless from my perspective.

If the dishes come out of the dishwasher still unclean, someone has to wash them by hand. If you load the dishwasher incorrectly and the dishes come out dirty over and over, and you have to wash them by hand over and over, it only makes sense to find another way to load the dishwasher.

Of course, it's very rarely the man who loads the dishwasher wrongly and won't learn the right way who has to worry about rewashing the dishes, because he "values it differently" which is to say, he doesn't care. But the dishes still have to be clean before they're put away, so guess who has to do it?

Now here's mine:

If you refer to women as "females" we can't be together. We're possibly not the same species.

[picunurse]

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

If you ever expect me to load a dishwater, we can't be together. If you ever nag me about any housework whatsoever, we can't be together.

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

*high five*

And why is that? Is housework beneath you? Is it "woman's" work? You know, 1955 has come and gone. Welcome to the new era, when everybody gets to to everything.

Just think, if she nags and you leave, you'll have to do your own damn dishes/housework.

[Cardinal]

I was nearing the end of my 1.5 year relationship, and my dad told me that he'd broken up with the girlfriend before my mom because they passed a sign that said, "Spirit of '76", and she didn't know what it referenced. This was probably 1963.

He thought, "I can't do this all my life."

At that point it hit me that just because I'd been dating someone, it didn't mean we were meant to be together. If I can't respect my partner's thoughts and knowledge base, I can't truly respect them. There's ignorant, and there's "I don't care about things outside my interests".

I can't do that.

[Foggy]

I'll simplify all of this: We can't be together. It really is much better this way.



..oh and get a cat.

[don't ask]

If you don't know that I can't be with someone who says "If you don't know that ____, then we can't be together," then we can't be together.

[HMS Irruncible]

I told my wife that if, when I unload the dishwasher, all the plastic bowls and cups are flipped upward and are filled with boiling dirty water, and the flatware is caked with hardened food, then that is exactly how I'm loading them into the cupboard.

Guess who gets fussed out about the cupboard being loaded the wrong way....

[LouisB]

If you don't know that very few things actually matter, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that of the very few things that matter really don't matter very much, then we can't be together.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Hah! I'm loving the responses to this, even the ones which vilify me as some type of relationship-challenged meta-asshole.

I am fully aware that small things which annoy are proxies for larger issues. I even know what those issues are!

If you don't know that our constant squabbling is a proxy for a larger issue, and won't acknowledge it when I try to talk about it, then we can't be together.

If you don't know that other people's interests are not *actually* dumb, but just outside your realm of interests, then we can't be together.

See, the dishwasher thing goes like this. She'll literally cram everything in there in a haphazard and non-caring way. Dishes stacked on top of one another, cups upside down, forks still stuck to the caked-on tomato sauce in the bowls. Blah blah blah. Doesn't matter right? It's just another way of doing things? Like how leaving messes around for weeks on end is just another way of doing things? I prefer to think of it as someone being a slob, who doesn't care about themselves, or the people around them, or the things which took money to buy. So after the dishes come out dirty, and get put away dirty, with sighing and groaning and huffing, I see a problem.

"Hey hun, you having trouble there? Want me to help?"

"No, the stupid dishwasher doesn't work."

Me, looking at the unloaded dishes and seeing the problem. "Maybe it's because those two bowls are stacked on top of each other."

"No, I loaded it fine. Don't tell me what to do."

Me, recognizing the underlying emotional turmoil, but not knowing what it is yet. "OK. Sorry. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"No, nothing's bothering me. I'm fine. Stop being such a control freak."

Mental note to myself - "Again...really? My cue to find a way out of this marriage..."

Since this kind of crap happens all the time, in many different aspects of our relationship, to degrees much worse and much less than this, I've determined to either find a new way to cope and try to coax the good out of her, or to find a way to leave without too much negative fallout.

I stopped getting angry, yelling, and flailing myself around much earlier in life. Like after I found my father dead on the living room floor. And after my grandparents divorced at 70 years of age. And after my first wife left me so that she could get away from her family and her faith. And after I realized that having a bad attitude doesn't really help anything ever...

I assure you, I've had my share of real grown up problems. And I have my own way of coping with them. And I know what I need to do to fix them right here right now, but I'm also aware that life sometimes surprises you, and given enough time, some things will work themselves out. And things like marriages are worth a little extra time and effort. And I also realize that a little more due diligence on my part in choosing my wife before our marriage would have avoided a lot of this...but sometimes you really do have to touch the stove to know that it's hot.

So in the meantime... pointing out my partner's flaws in a style like this is kind of fun, and makes me feel justified, because it reduces them to their most basic black and white concepts, and ignores all the actual issues behind them. Kinda makes it like we're back in kindergarten, and after we come back inside from recess everything will be OK again.

And when I turn it back around on myself, I actually realize things about ME that are worth changing.

See? Little clearer now? You may all proceed to my Relationship and Dishwasher Loading Reeducation seminar.

[panache45]

If you don't understand that I often need to work on my art for several uninterrupted hours . . . then we can't be together.

This is one of the reasons why I love Sunday in the Park with George, especially "Finishing the Hat." Sondheim nailed it.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by don't ask

If you don't know that I can't be with someone who says "If you don't know that ____, then we can't be together," then we can't be together.

If you don't know that you already do this in your mind, unconsciously, every time you look at a person who may be eligible relationship material, then we can't be together.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by cosmic relief

i told my wife that if, when i unload the dishwasher, all the plastic bowls and cups are flipped upward and are filled with boiling dirty water, and the flatware is caked with hardened food, then that is exactly how i'm loading them into the cupboard.

Guess who gets fussed out about the cupboard being loaded the wrong way....

+1

:d

[JKellyMap]

Originally Posted by echo6160

If you don't know that burping and farting in my presence is not sexually appealing, then we can't be together.

This part is not so cool. Okay, "not sexually appealing", fine. But don't ask us to desist from farting altogether, and certainly don't blame us for farting. Would you blame someone with cancer (on radiation treatment) for their bald pate?

It's a bodily function, like any other. We don't fart just to bother you. In fact, we'd rather not fart at all. But we can't help it. Get over yourself.

[Uber_the_Goober]

Originally Posted by JKellyMap

This part is not so cool. Okay, "not sexually appealing", fine. But don't ask us to desist from farting altogether, and certainly don't blame us for farting. Would you blame someone with cancer (on radiation treatment) for their bald pate?

It's a bodily function, like any other. We don't fart just to bother you. In fact, we'd rather not fart at all. But we can't help it. Get over yourself.

HAHAHA! I love the immediate self-defense. Having a gas problem?

Yeah, we all fart and burp. But you gotta admit...it's not exactly a turn on. Usually it's a turn off. Especially when it resembles a tuba. And so someone being mad because the sexual feelings may have left the room when the foul smelling ass-gas entered is pretty childish.

[enipla]

Is this whole thread a whoosh?

People honestly argue about this shit? It’s got to be a symptom of a larger problem.

“Hey Honey, it works best in the dishwasher to load it this way” Problem solved.

And OP. I had NO idea what you where talking about with the dishwasher either.