What's the deal with angels?

[AuraWAlker]

Fascinating! Thanks for doing the research for me.

[kayaker]

Active roster

Pitchers

Starting rotation

24 Dan Haren
54 Ervin Santana
36 Jered Weaver
57 Jerome Williams
33 C. J. Wilson

Bullpen

52 David Carpenter
37 Scott Downs
32 LaTroy Hawkins
55 Jason Isringhausen
40 Kevin Jepsen
21 Hisanori Takahashi

Closer

51 Jordan Walden



Catchers

17 Chris Iannetta
46 Bobby Wilson

Infielders

2 Erick Aybar
6 Alberto Callaspo
13 Maicer Izturis
47 Howard Kendrick
8 Kendrys Morales
5 Albert Pujols
44 Mark Trumbo

Outfielders

53 Bobby Abreu
25 Peter Bourjos
48 Torii Hunter
10 Vernon Wells

Designated hitters

None specified

[Czarcasm]

Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Board! To help others who may not have seen the same column, it is customary to provide a link to said column, like this. Again, welcome! I hope you stick around.

[Czarcasm]

Originally Posted by kayaker

Active roster

Pitchers

Starting rotation

24 Dan Haren
54 Ervin Santana
36 Jered Weaver
57 Jerome Williams
33 C. J. Wilson

Bullpen

52 David Carpenter
37 Scott Downs
32 LaTroy Hawkins
55 Jason Isringhausen
40 Kevin Jepsen
21 Hisanori Takahashi

Closer

51 Jordan Walden



Catchers

17 Chris Iannetta
46 Bobby Wilson

Infielders

2 Erick Aybar
6 Alberto Callaspo
13 Maicer Izturis
47 Howard Kendrick
8 Kendrys Morales
5 Albert Pujols
44 Mark Trumbo

Outfielders

53 Bobby Abreu
25 Peter Bourjos
48 Torii Hunter
10 Vernon Wells

Designated hitters

None specified

But you didn't answer the question that is in the back of all our minds: How many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Czarcasm

But you didn't answer the question that is in the back of all our minds: How many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

All of them, given a large enough pin.

[Little Nemo]

Originally Posted by Czarcasm

But you didn't answer the question that is in the back of all our minds: How many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

They can all fit together on a diamond. That's got to count for something.

[C K Dexter Haven]

Originally Posted by AuraWAlker

Fascinating! Thanks for doing the research for me.

You're very welcome! It was fun to do, frankly.

[Civil Guy]

And the Los Angeles Angels should get some kind of heavenly reward for the greatest amount of (bilingual) redundancy in the fewest number of words.

[Chronos]

I just noticed, in the section of the article "Four of the most famous angels":

Michael saved Daniel's friends from the fiery furnace,...

but later,

In Jewish legend, Gabriel is the angel of judgment, who rained death and destruction on Sodom and Gomorrah, wrestled with Jacob, and later saved Daniel's friends from the fiery furnace.

So, which is it?

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Chronos

So, which is it?

Reboots abound in contemporary fiction. Maybe you've discovered the source?

[Mangetout]

Originally Posted by Little Nemo

They can all fit together on a diamond. That's got to count for something.

Graphene is probably the solution. Graphene can do bloody everything, apparently.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by Czarcasm

But you didn't answer the question that is in the back of all our minds: How many of them can dance on the head of a pin?

Originally Posted by kayaker

All of them, given a large enough pin.

Or if you compress them enough. Letting them expand again is messy, though.

[C K Dexter Haven]

Originally Posted by Chronos

I just noticed, in the section of the article "Four of the most famous angels":

but later,

So, which is it?

Hmmm. That was a decade ago, and it's not a topic that I continue to read about, so I don't remember. I'll try to look it up and get it corrected, but my initial reaction is that it's probably a diff between Christian and Jewish myths.

[John W. Kennedy]

Originally Posted by C K Dexter Haven

...my initial reaction is that it's probably a diff between Christian and Jewish myths.

There’s a lot of not-exactly-orthodox Christian speculation that clearly leans in the direction of Michael version, though I couldn’t find, by desultory Googling, a clear statement. I’m pretty sure you’re right. (Christian mythology has picked up a sort of halo of bits and pieces of old heresies that, once removed from the central errors they were associated with, weren’t bad enough to condemn in themselves.)

[Irishman]

Hey Dex, you also said

Angels continued to appear in popular songs ("Teen Angel," say), on wedding invitations, and atop Christmas trees (ask me why sometime).

It's sometime, so why?

[Civil Guy]

He could be alluding to a pretty old joke (mildly funny) which I think is his to tell.

[C K Dexter Haven]

Yes, it's an old joke. It's told best with dramatic voice and gestures and elaboration, but basically has to do with Santa Claus getting ready for Christmas Eve flight.

SPOILER:

First the elves tell him they're on strike for higher wages and lower hours and warmer working conditions; they argue with him for a while and he puts them off for union negotiations after Christmas. Then the reindeer complain how difficult it is to make the trip, getting shot at by Home Defense, landing on all those small rooftops, etc. He stalls them until after Christmas. Then Mrs Claus lands into him, he's never home on Christmas Eve, he slides down all those chimneys at houses with young females, what a louse. He says it's the only day of the year that he's away from home, and promises her a vacation in the Bahamas right after New Years. Frustrated, and dripping with sweat, he turns around and there's a little angel carrying a tree who says, "Santa, where should I put this tree?"

... and that's why there are angels on top of Christmas trees.

[Irishman]

Har har.

[Irishman]

Buy two angels, get one free, but only for a limited time, while supplies last. Not valid in states where owning angels is illegal.