Strangest assumptions people have made about you

[flodnak]

Originally Posted by Little Nemo

I had several people I worked with assume I was Jewish, which I'm not. I think it's partly because my name (which is actually French) is a common Jewish name.

My weird neighbor assumed I was Jewish. I don't mean just ethnically Jewish, but religiously so, and he figured this was important enough that he told half the neighborhood about it. I have no idea where any of this came from, except that there's a reason I called him my weird neighbor.

I've also been mistaken for a lesbian several times. Usually when a woman was trying to flirt with me, and what can I say, I flatter easily

[Clothahump]

As soon as people find out that I teach Taekwondo, they immediately say, "Oh, please don't hit me" or something equally stupid. As if I woke up that morning, decided to beat the snot out of a random person, and they're it.

[Balance]

Originally Posted by Clothahump

As soon as people find out that I teach Taekwondo, they immediately say, "Oh, please don't hit me" or something equally stupid.

That's pretty stupid--if you teach Taekwondo, they should be asking you not to kick them.

[Green Rosetta]

I took a class on the sociology of death & dying in college, and the professor had a woman come in who was responsible for preparing the dead in the Jewish faith (I can't remember what it's called, but her job had a name.) Somewhere in the discussion it came up that I was Catholic, but it wasn't discussed in any kind of detail at all- just that I grew up Catholic. For the last class of the semester, she came back to talk with us again. At one point she said something like "hell" or "damn" or some variation thereof and then looked at me and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I know you're very religious."

I thought it was hilarious. Though I do go to church fairly regularly, I would never, EVER call myself "very religious", let alone be offended by a word as innocuous as "damn."

[thirdwarning]

For a while there was somebody online who 'knew' I was a doctor. I never claimed to be, and I never really figured out why she thought so. Well, unless it was because she was totally crazy.

[Kenm]

I've been mistaken for a clerk at Canadian Tire a couple of times. Probably because I ignore the other customer and walk away.

[Snickers]

Once in a Target, a bunch of people mistook me for an employee and asked me where they might find such-and-such. To be fair, I was wearing a red sweater and khakis.

At a former job, one of my coworkers was telling someone else about the great time we'd had at happy hour the night before. The other guy was all, "Snickers drinks?" Yes, yes she does. Apparently I unintentionally give off the teetotaller vibe.

[Euphonious Polemic]

Originally Posted by MsWhatsit

I've run into a few people who assumed that the "got wood for sheep?" one was a Biblical reference and that I'm therefore a big Bible thumper. Actually I'm an atheist with a sense of irony, and "got wood for sheep?" is a Settlers of Catan reference.

I would have assumed it was a Hal Briston reference.

But maybe that's just me.

[Trom]

I work as a proprietary trader at a trading firm. After saying what I do for a living, numerous people have said, "Really? You don't seem like a trader." I'm not sure exactly what they assume traders are like. I'm guessing quite a few are thinking of Hollywood's presentation of traders as testosterone fueled, hyper-aggressive hot shots. In reality, most traders are socially awkward math/computer science nerds. This leaves me confused as to which one I'd prefer to seem more unlike.

[Asimovian]

Originally Posted by MsWhatsit

The other one says "Got wood for sheep?"...and "got wood for sheep?" is a Settlers of Catan reference.

I laughed, and now I want that bumper sticker.

Originally Posted by Antinor01

People often assume I have a college degree. No, I just read a lot, have a pretty well rounded knowledge base and a decent vocabulary.

This for me, as well. I work in a field where I think the vast, vast majority of folks DO have college degrees, so maybe the assumption isn't that strange.

[Rhiannon8404]

That because I have one child, I must not be able to have more. I sometimes get that sad, pitying, "oh..." when I mention that I have one kid. One lady even went so far as to ask me what happened. I really shocked her when I told her what had happened was that we decided we only wanted one child.

[JSexton]

Originally Posted by Balance

That's pretty stupid--if you teach Taekwondo, they should be asking you not to kick them.

Technically, they should be asking him not to almost-kick them, right?

[Ethilrist]

In 7th grade, all the bullies decided that, since I wasn't a jock, I must be gay. THAT was a fun year.

On a less personal level, I present the IT Professional Trifecta. Since I've been working in the IT industry since 1986, I obviously must:

(a) Know how to program
(b) Have some certifications
(c) Be a manager.

Um, no.

[Corcaigh]

That I am a dress size 8 and weigh about 9 stones.

(I am actually a dress size 18 and weigh about 15 stones.)


That I don't need to be sent an invitation to any wedding, or party that's being held. "Ooh why didn't you come? We missed you!" Cos I didn't know where to go, or what time I was supposed to be there at.

[TruCelt]

Originally Posted by MsWhatsit

. . .The other one says "Got wood for sheep?"

. . .

Sheldon does.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

Originally Posted by Surly Chick

That I'm bored. Apparently my normal facial expression is one of extreme boredom. I'm not always bored, honest.

Sometimes you're surly?

[etv78]

Originally Posted by Absolute

I posted on here about this once before. I walked into a large Barnes and Noble I had never been to before, looking for a technical book or something, and found an employee to ask for directions.

I started to ask "Where are the...", but before I can finish, she cuts me off and says "Self-help books? They're on the 2nd floor, left of the cookbooks".

IMO it's just that self-help is a popular genre, no reflection on you.

[etv78]

Originally Posted by tdn

I've gotten this in Manhattan a bunch of times. The thing is, Manhattan is not all that hard to figure out. Let's see, you're trying to fing the corner of 5th and 34th? And we're on 6th and 40th? How about one block that way, then turn right and go six blocks that way? If you see a really really tall building, you've found it.

Empire State Building I assume.

[Filbert]

A year or so ago, a random guy ran up to me on a busy street and said 'You're a Bob Dylan fan aren't you?' I really don't like his voice, and I told the guy that. He seemed utterly bewildered by my reply, and when I walked off he was still standing there in the middle of the street looking really confused.


I may have mentioned this before, but I once got mistaken for a member of staff at a zoo; as it happens, my parents ran it, so I could answer the question, but I was about 11.

[Nawth Chucka]

As the movers (Spanish-speaking father-son duo who spoke unaccented English w/ me) were unpacking our furniture, I was arranging it all myself. I moved a large couch across the room while they watched, after which one mover asked if my husband (who was still deployed) was Hispanic. I'm a plain looking Euro-mutt, our last name's the 'Johnson' of Poland and there were no decorations up that weren't Air Force-themed or Russian nesting dolls, so...? When I asked what he meant he just laughed and kept working.

[Icarus]

Oh where to begin......some are maybe not strange, meaning I can deduce why they see me that way.....

Always getting asked for direction in cities I have only just arrived in - true all over the world.

Assume I have a college degree - I don't - but I come off as educated and intellectual.

Assume I'm gay - I'm not - I'm a slender sensitive bookish type, oh and I used to be in theatre, so there is that.

Conversely, assume that I'm a ladies man - um, not so much - shy guy friend zone all the way.

Assume I'm in charge and want to be a leader - nothing could be further from the truth - but I project an air of authority in business settings, being calm and having gray hair helps.

That I'm very serious - well......maybe now I am - I used to be Jackie the Joker but life beat me down.

[Fear Itself]

That I was from the South.

[lisacurl]

I've had more than one acquaintance tell me they thought I was prim and proper and wouldn't say shit if I had a mouthful. I replied to one, Do you want me to take my top off, motherfucker?

[carnut]

That I can solve their problems. My friends will do this to me: call me up and pose a problem they are having with their child, finances, garden, whatever. I am sooo not a parent or a financial expert. And I'm only middling at gardening and home repair.

It is similar at work. I am consulting instructional designer/training team lead and have seen a lot of projects. Because I am well-spoken, the project managers and executives at whichever company I am working with, assume I am a communications hack, public speaker, and functional analyst. Maybe I played these roles on TV in a past life but no, no, and no. If I wanted to be in these roles, that is where I would be.

[Sister Vigilante]

In college I read the Faust play (with Mephistopheles, don't feel like looking it up) and I said it seemed anti-semitic. Therefore I was assumed Jewish by the professor. I did correct him at the end of the class. (Funny, I don't look Druish.)

We had a "name 5 things about random co-worker" at work recently. I was regarded as "silent" and "mysterious" by everyone except my boss who said "funny". It was supposed to be anonymous but I recognized her handwriting. Thing is, at home I annoy the crap out of Mister Vigilante by talking to the TV too much and also interrupting the TV by bringing up random stuff. I am VERY talkative to people I am close to.

Then I was employee of the month (it's a random drawing), was interviewed by the owner and another co-worker, and the co-worker asked where I'm from. Everyone I know does this to me. I always say "here" or Atlanta, or somesuch, and they are surprised, every single time. Apparently no one who lives here is from here except me. And my accent doesn't give me away.

Also they were very surprised that this quiet, mysterious person goes to scifi conventions and sometimes even dresses up.

[Earl Snake-Hips Tucker]

That I was "retarded." Well, it wasn't so strange. They had their reasons, but I suspect they were wrong. (And,yeah, that was the word that was used.)

[Nava]

Originally Posted by Nawth Chucka

As the movers (Spanish-speaking father-son duo who spoke unaccented English w/ me) were unpacking our furniture, I was arranging it all myself. I moved a large couch across the room while they watched, after which one mover asked if my husband (who was still deployed) was Hispanic. I'm a plain looking Euro-mutt, our last name's the 'Johnson' of Poland and there were no decorations up that weren't Air Force-themed or Russian nesting dolls, so...? When I asked what he meant he just laughed and kept working.

You didn't need a man to move your sofa; neither did the women in their family, but most of their customers behave both like they're afraid the movers will break the house if not watched, and like they're too weak to do any box-shhuffling (much less sofa-shuffling) by themselves. Bonus points for muttering "ok, now this sofa goes... here..." while you moved it. Neither looks nor lastname imply whether you are or are not Hispanic. Take it as a compliment.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by etv78

Empire State Building I assume.

You assume correctly. To give them some credit, they didn't ask for the intersection, they asked for the building. But they knew the address. It doesn't take a lot of smarts to figure out how to get around.

In a totally unrelated story:

The coffee shop where I work offers coffee in four sizes: Tiny, small, medium, and large. I asked the cashier, Giorgio, for a tiny. He handed me a medium cup. I corrected him and said "no, a tiny." He got really confused. A tiny, really? But I always ask for the medium. Always. Without exception. I have never in my life asked for anything but a medium.

Giorgio was certain of this.

In reality, I have never ordered anything but a tiny. In almost ten years here, always a tiny. At least this time he remembered to give me a lid.

[trapezoidal jellyfish]

From my newest roommate: that I would judge her for coming home a little drunk, on her birthday. We've had several conversations about our tastes in beer and whiskey. I would have gone with her to get drinks! It was her birthday! I'm still perplexed.

Once someone was surprised that I have trouble getting up in the morning and getting places on time in the morning. She said, "But you seem so in control of yourself!" I was so surprised I actually laughed in her face. I've had the natural circadian rhythm of a teenager my whole life. If it were up to my body to decide, I would probably be nocturnal.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by tdn

You assume correctly. To give them some credit, they didn't ask for the intersection, they asked for the building. But they knew the address. It doesn't take a lot of smarts to figure out how to get around.

If they're not American, yes it does. The American numbering system is completely different from those used in other places. There's places where the numbers are always consecutive and streets have names (such as most of Europe), places where addresses are given in reference to landmarks (much of Latin America for example)...

It took me almost a year until I was able to get a straight answer on how the American numbering system works. When I asked, most people would think it was a joke and laugh, until one day I got angry and said "no damnit, stop laughing, how the fuck do house numbers here work? It's not like it was back home or in Ireland!" Dude still asked a couple times to verify that yes, I was serious, I did not know how the bloody fucking blue blazes US addresses worked and I really, really wanted to learn it. Before the end of the century, preferably!

[Soylent Juicy]

My brother-in-law thinks I'm "whipped."

In reality, my husband and I have a very healthy relationship. He enjoys beer so it doesn't bother me when he has a few on weekends, he's certainly not an alcoholic. He has his interests, I have my interests, we have interests together.

Apparently one day his brother said "Wow, you have Juicy pretty whipped. She lets you drink beer and play video games and do whatever you want." My husband was all "What? You gotta be kid....yeahhhh, she is pretty whipped, isn't she. *snicker.*" So we play it up whenever his brother is around - my husband will ask me to bring him something and wink and I'll act all subservient. It's hilarious.

[shiftless]

Originally Posted by Silver Tyger

That I know everything about computers. The fact that 9 times out of 10, I can fix whatever problem they have doesn't help.

I get this one. I try to show them that they could have rebooted the PC themselves but they insist they could never match my years of computer experience.

Me: "Have you tried rebooting?"
Them: "That's what the computer guy at work always asks."
Me: "Have you tired it?"
Them: "I don't know if it will fix the problem."
Me: "Here, let's push the little button and see."
<PC reboots and works fine>
Them: "You're a genius!"

People have assumed for years that I am a pothead. I don't know why. All through college and for years afterward people would give me a little wink if I said I never used it, which I didn't. I once made a joke about a bag of grass clippings being pot and all my friends cracked up. Not because the joke was particularly funny, they all assumed I was a heavy user and somebody had whispered "you would know." These are people who have known me for years!

[Dr. Woo]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

When I was visiting France, quite a few people thought I was French (including a group of Germans and an American). I think it was because I was wearing a French-style hat and my clothes did not scream "American tourist." It happened at least four times after I got the hat.

I was delighted.

This happens to me too. In France, I'm assumed to be French, in Holland, Dutch, Ireland, Irish. That's not too surprising - I'm of northern European ancestry and apparently I don't dress like an American. But in Jamaica and St. Vincent and Antigua? I have no idea; I assume I look like a typical North American tourist, but people address me in the local patois and ask directions all the time.

And I'm always delighted too!

[Terra1041]

At my job (community college tutoring lab), there's a copy machine in the room for students to use. Very often students ask me how to work the copier. I'm a tutor, I'm not a copier technician. I don't know where the paper for the copier is kept. I don't know how to print something sideways enlarged by 45% in black and white. I don't know why the copier won't work. Etc.

[El_Kabong]

Another one who gets asked for directions all the time (or rather did until I moved to the Houston area, where everyone goes around sealed up in a car). The funniest were when I lived in Paris; despite my being pretty sure I looked thoroughly American, every couple of days someone (usually French) on the street would ask me how to get to some obscure location. Maybe 1/3rd of the time I could help them. OTOH, once a guy asked how to get to Gare du Nord while we were both standing in the entranceway of the place, so I didn't have too much trouble with that one.

Then there was the time I was shooting pool at some dive in Bakersfield, CA and the woman I was playing against asked me if I was British. I'm pretty sure for anyone else who hears the way I speak, that would be about the least likely assumption.

[sahirrnee]

Originally Posted by shiftless

People have assumed for years that I am a pothead. I don't know why. All through college and for years afterward people would give me a little wink if I said I never used it, which I didn't. I once made a joke about a bag of grass clippings being pot and all my friends cracked up. Not because the joke was particularly funny, they all assumed I was a heavy user and somebody had whispered "you would know." These are people who have known me for years!

I get this too and have for years.
Way back when, when I worked in the corporate world I had accepted a new job where I had to pass a piss test. The recruiter asked me if there would be a problem and I told him 'no'. Everyday he called to remind me about the upcoming piss test and if there would be a problem and everyday I would tell him 'no'.
I thought it was weird but I figured he had issues and it's not my place to deal with them.
So after I started the job I was telling my new co-workers about the experience and they all said 'well you are a pot head aren't you?'.
Uh.... no
Well you look like one.
What does a pot head look like?

Granted I smoked my fair share in high school, but you grow up, go to college, get a job, etc. Who has time to get high?

[Corcaigh]

Originally Posted by Earl Snake-Hips Tucker

That I was "retarded." Well, it wasn't so strange. They had their reasons, but I suspect they were wrong. (And,yeah, that was the word that was used.)

I used to get that one as well when I was a kid, it stemmed from my bat-shit crazy mother telling me I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone. So I go to school and I refuse to speak to anyone. Teachers thought I was deaf, turns out I'm not. I didn't appear to be overly shy, I just wouldn't speak to anyone. So therefore I had to be retarded. This was back in the day when that was a medical diagnosis.

[etv78]

Originally Posted by Terra1041

At my job (community college tutoring lab), there's a copy machine in the room for students to use. Very often students ask me how to work the copier. I'm a tutor, I'm not a copier technician. I don't know where the paper for the copier is kept. I don't know how to print something sideways enlarged by 45% in black and white. I don't know why the copier won't work. Etc.

They probably assume that since you work where the copier is, you know how to finesse it. (BTW, I would to, sorry.)

[DrFidelius]

People seem to think I am a nice person. I am not, but I can't always find enough energy or interest to tell you what I really think about you.

So, my default impression is of being mild-mannered, polite, intelligent and soft spoken. It does have the upside that when I do swear, people sit up and notice.

[astorian]

I wouldn't call this a "strange" assumption, but because of my last name*, my home town (New York City) and my education (Columbia University), I'm often assumed to be Jewish.



*As far as I know, I'm 100% Irish, but my family name SOUNDS Jewish.

[Fear Itself]

Originally Posted by astorian

*As far as I know, I'm 100% Irish, but my family name SOUNDS Jewish.

Cohan?

[Maiira]

That I weigh less than 100 pounds.

I weigh 140.

[PandaBear77]

I've had people think I'm Jewish, probably because I'm into Jewish history and stuff.

I had one guy think I was a lawyer. I was dressed up and I suppose looking particularly dishonest that day

I've also had people think I'm a nurse, probably because of my work ID badge, which I sometimes forget to take off after I leave the office.

[Salem]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

Also, people would think I was Italian, even when they knew my last name, which is clearly not (I'm Jewish, actually).

Someone once assumed I was Jewish, but I'm Italian Irish Catholic so maybe they just got us mixed up?

[salinqmind]

I've mentioned this before, but I am very quiet, sometimes have difficulty expressing myself, and when I do, it comes out in a nasal little-girl voice. Many people don't listen to me, or talk right over me, and they seem to think I'm not all that bright, they think I'm a sort of a poor simple-minded soul who doesn't know much. When I DO express an idea, an opinion on a complex subject, a deep emotion - when an article I've written is published, when I tell them how I make some exotic difficult recipe, or talk about some dangerous crazy thing I did in the past - they're always surprised. I must sound (and possibly look) dumb, people have actually said they 'didn't know I had it in me'.

[living_in_hell]

That I am XY

[GameHat]

I regularly get asked "Tech Sales" questions in Best Buy and other electronics stores by random strangers. They assume I'm working there.

Can't blame them - I'm a geeky looking white guy with chunky glasses, often wearing a polo shirt.

...and I usually help them out just the same, since I am a "tech guy"

...and I also used to work at Best Buy, though compared to a typical BB sales associate I know worlds more about computers and electronics than their current teen-aged workforce.

[cwthree]

That I'm deaf. I'm shy and I don't talk much, but I have normal hearing.

[florez]

When I first moved from California to Alaska, I was told by locals that some Alaskans assume "people from down south, that move up north toward Canada, are running from the law."
I hope that no one made that strange assumption about me, but sometimes I wondered.

[limegreen]

That I came to the grocery store to help out all the little old loony birds, and listen to them tell me their tales of woe. I inherited this strange affliction from my mother, and one of my daughters has it. We will attract every senile biddy for miles....