Secrets you might as well share now

[corkboard]

I was 16, out with the new car. I was going around a corner, it was snowing, and I slid into the curb. The rim dented. To cover my mistake, I changed tires- fortunately the new car came with a full size spare. A year later when we had a flat and you tried to put the "spare" on and noticed it was dented and used, you threw a fit at the dealership, threatening to sue them for breach of contract and endangering your family's welfare by providing us with a damaged spare. I was petrified and humbled that you went through all of that due to my cowardice.

That cut I got on my hand while my whole family was on vacation and I stayed home to work? My friends and I were drunk and stoned and I broke up a fight, nearly losing my hand in the process. The story I told about getting the cut at work was actually true, since the fight happened at the jobsite, but it didn't occur as part of my work duties. I still have the scar, 23 years later.

In elementary school, two older kids pulled me into a bathroom during recess and forced me to bend over in the stall while they poked and looked at my asshole. I was terrified (they were older! I was powerless!) and confused and embarassed and as soon as I said I was going to tell on them, they ran out and I sat on the toilet and sobbed. I've never told anyone.

Honey, that old friend of mine we had plans to see on our vacation in California, the one who you asked of me "did you two ever date?" and I said no, well, technically we didn't date but we were fuckbuddies for about 6 months. It was five years before you and I got married. I'm not sure why I defensively said no, but I guess it's good that she canceled our plans due to her job because she would have flirted with me (as she always does) in front of you, and it would have been a big mess.

[HazelNutCoffee]

You thought I was experienced, but that time was my first. I was terrified but thought I'd scare you off if I told you the truth.

[chowder]

Yes Mr B I slept with your daughter and she was only 15. I was only 16 and we got married 7 years later.

Mr B died 1n 1987 so it really doesn't matter that I lied

[ArrMatey!]

The freudian slip was just what one might think it was. All I could think about at the time was having sex with you, and that rarely changed until recently. Doesn't matter that you were engaged at the time, or that you've now been married for over 6 years.

And secretly, I suspect you've thought about it, too.

[bafaa]

I accidentally ran over that poor stray kitten. He was apparently napping behind one of the car tires and well...I ended up killing him.

She has herpes.

He has cancer.

Mom, you know how I used to leave before you to go to class in college? Well, sometimes I didn't feel like going to class so I would just drive to McDonald's for breakfast and then come back home to bed when you had left for work.

He/she is cheating on you...a lot! (Same secret unfortunately goes for multiple people)

His mom miscarried twins.

Yes, I caused that dent in the car.

Yes, I really did drive that fast. It wasn't a joke.

[Sonia Montdore]

My brother married his fiancee secretly six months in advance of the big wedding that her parents and ours were planning. The fiancee needed surgery and didn't have good health insurance, so they got hitched so she'd have coverage. They didn't tell anyone but me, and then they went through with the fancy ceremony six months later as if they were both single because they didn't want to disappoint the parents.

[Rigamarole]

Oh my - I'd practically blocked this out of my memory until I read a post above about a car incident.

When I was 16, and had just gotten my full driver's license (up from a permit), I gave my friend a ride home from school. It was her birthday and she happened to have a bunch of balloons with her, which she brought into my car effectively obscuring my rear window view. (you can probably see where this is going)

On the way home we stopped by the bank so she could withdraw some money from the ATM. When she came back, my young foolish self saw it fit to back up out of my parking spot even though I couldn't see anything behind me. We hear a sudden *CRUNCH*, and I speed the hell out of there.

After I dropped her off I returned to the scene of the crime to take a look at what I had done, and although it wasn't anything catastrophic, I had put a nice, visible dent in the side of the guy's car. Mine had only paint scratching on the bumper. I was much too afraid of the consequences and the wrath of my parents (would I lose my car? My brand-new license?) to leave a note or anything, so I left and never heard about it again. Sorry, guy.

[Hypno-Toad]

Yeah, this thread dredges up memories.

I put the big scratch in the side of the car. It didn't happen while it was parked.

J, we ALL could hear you say those very personal remarks while you and A were screwing. (Very hard to run a D&D game while hearing someone get spanked.)

Mom & Dad, the very first time you visited me at college and I wasn't in my room? I was in P's room losing my virginity at that very moment.

Various: No I don't "just stare at your tits." I stare your ass too. Sorry.

W, I could always hear you masturbating.

[BunnyTVS]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

(Very hard to run a D&D game while hearing someone get spanked.)

Ooh sig line please ?

[ASAKMOTSD]

I was once deported from Canada. My friend & I decided to take our girlfriends across the border for the fun of it. While we were at the customs checkpoint, the girls told us they did not have their ID. Yes, it was kind of like that episode of That 70's show.

[Hypno-Toad]

Originally Posted by BunnyTVS

Ooh sig line please ?

Absolutely! I feel validated.

[BunnyTVS]

Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad

Absolutely! I feel validated.

Many thanks

[Carm6773]

C, I was sleeping with your boyfriend A after you moved. It started out as a fuckbuddy type of thing, but then it turned into something more (yelling out I LOVE YOU! during climax is usually a clue). I'm sorry I betrayed you, but I don't regret it.

Yes, Mom, I slept with him. Yes, it is true what they say about black men.

[VampyChick]

She's bi. No, wait, she's a lesbian. She's always been a lesbian, didn't I know? No, wait, she's secretly engaged to a guy. Her mother's a lesbian. That's why her parents are getting a divorce. Her parents have gotten back together...why I cut this girl out of my life becomes rapidly apparent.

M, S was cheating on you that whole first semester of freshman year. A lot.

[WarmNPrickly]

John got drunk at the seminar and pee'd on the postdoc that night.

[Beltane]

As a teenager, I spent the night with a (straight) friend at the same time time that another (closeted) friend was doing so. We all spent the night in Straight friends room... me in one single bed, straight in another, and closeted on the floor. When spending the night, we always talked for a long time after we turned out the lights. One this occaion, foreplay began during the conversations, and culminated in his bathroom once straight friend (and everyone else in the house) was asleep. Straight friend never knew- he was absoluetly floored when closeted friend finally came out. WOW that was hot at the time.

[cher3]

Originally Posted by Christopher

John got drunk at the seminar and pee'd on the postdoc that night.

That's okay, they're used to it.

[amelioration]

That wasn't "expired Gatorade" that made you feel sick. That was the clam juice we poured in the bottle when you weren't looking.

She had sex with her cousin. She was 13.

I was pulled over, two weeks after I got my license and the first time I drove farther than the local neighborhood by myself. The officer didn't ticket me, so I never needed to tell you.

She has HPV.

Remember that contest I won in elementary school, the one where I read for more hours than everyone else? I lied about the hours. I exaggerated them, because I wanted to be the "best" so bad.

You know all those times you walked in our room, and he and I were asleep on the bed? We weren't asleep... we just stopped moving.

I think he's cheating on you, but I can't be sure, so what am I supposed to do?

[Emily Litella]

I was pissed off at you when I found out you had plans to meet another woman on the weekend you said you were going to visit your buddies. I was really really pissed off at you when you went away for the weekend even after I confronted you about it. So that weekend I looked up an old boyfriend and we did the same thing you did.

You told me you didn't do anything.

This was in 1999.

[Queuing]

I really think we need to set a rule for this thread. If you are going to talk about same sex encounters, please tell us the genders involved. Little favour to me, k?

[MrDantastic]

"Yes, Mr. Neighbor, we did in fact blow up all those bananas in your front yard in the middle of the night."

-About 10 years ago, when I was in middle school. Although he probably figured it out anyway, because I am terrible at lying. It was awesome. My friends and I spent all night setting up these "banana bombs." The person with the nicest yard is always the prime target. I think just about everyone that would care knows about it, except him (unless he has figured it out). We still laugh about it today.

[Beltane]

Originally Posted by Queuing

I really think we need to set a rule for this thread. If you are going to talk about same sex encounters, please tell us the genders involved. Little favour to me, k?

I thought I had done that with use of "He" but I see there is only one in my post. Me, Straight friend, and Closeted friend are all male. Also, straight friend knew I was gay, but did not know about closeted friend. It was acually very disfunctional, CF would go to great lenghts to hide his sexuality- even to the point of making homophobic jokes around me a SF- that made SF uncomfortable. I was a very codepenent teenager. Still, that night was hot


***feel free to change the genders in your imagination if it makes if more entertaining to you

[hawksgirl]

I do know where the scratch on my new (used) truck came from that first day I drove to HS. I was supposed to go to check in at my jobsite for the ROP class, and my classmates asked me to get donuts on the way back to campus. I bumped the little cement thing that separated the drive-thru from the parking lot, with my passenger door.
- 4 years ago

[Drunky Smurf]

I stole $20 from my mom to buy beer when I was 15. I'm sorry mom. I still feel bad about it 13 years later. Someday I might tell you but most likely not.

Justin, you fucktard, it was me who stole your expensive watch, and then smashed it , that day when I went to your new apartment to get $20 out of the $150 you owed me from last months rent from when we were roomates because I knew you would never fully pay me back and you never gave me more than that initial $20.

[Queuing]

Originally Posted by Beltane

I thought I had done that with use of "He" but I see there is only one in my post. Me, Straight friend, and Closeted friend are all male. Also, straight friend knew I was gay, but did not know about closeted friend. It was acually very disfunctional, CF would go to great lenghts to hide his sexuality- even to the point of making homophobic jokes around me a SF- that made SF uncomfortable. I was a very codepenent teenager. Still, that night was hot


***feel free to change the genders in your imagination if it makes if more entertaining to you

Thanks .

You see what I was doing was it was me being the SF, and there were these 2 girls who were crashing at my place and...

never mind

[Don Draper]

25 years ago, our parents had forbidden my brothers & me from watching "the Shining" on HBO. Then one night, they went out for the evening when they definitely knew that "the Shining" would be airing that night.

My mother tried to install a sense of moral guilt in us beforehand: "Your father & I will not know if you watch "the Shining" on tv tonight. But YOU will know! And YOU will KNOW that you have disobeyed us."

We watched "the Shining."

[ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]

E (girl from the dorms I had the hots for) and M (her best friend): Remember that time we went to the supermarket to buy alcohol, got stuck in the aisle behind a blue-haired old lady who ambushed us with a horrendously foul silent-but-deadly fart? Actually, I did that, and I let granny take the blame.

[Don Draper]

Oh yeah, one I forgot...

Mom, y'know when I had an accident about 18-20 years ago, losing control of the car, sliding on the ice and wrapping the front fender of your van around a tree? Yes, I had been drinking.

But not nearly as much as numerous nights when I borrowed your car and manage to drive it home w/o a scratch!

[cowgirl]

Tim knew that Andrew liked Michelle, but Tim liked her too. So T told A that M liked him (which wasn't true), thereby deliberately setting up a train wreck relationship, which then ensured that T was free to pursue M without interference from A. If T had not done that, A's heart would not have got broken. That's why I still think T is a jerk even if nobody else does.

My high school friends all went partying up north and got arrested for doing something mindbendingly stupid and then leaving tracks in the snow that led back to where they were staying. They were all grownups with real jobs when it happened.

Oh, and also - my dad's gay. Nobody knows IRL outside of my immediate family and probably some of his friends. I'm cool with it and I expect my friends would be too, but I feel it's not my secret to share.

[Ogre]

I had an appointment with a professor 10 years ago. The office was dark, but the door was cracked. I stuck my head in to see if he was around and was stunned to see him half undressed on his office couch, making out with one of my fellow grad students. Neither of them saw me. I quietly bowed out, with no one the wiser to this day.

Scumbag was married, with a couple of small kids, and the grad student was engaged at the time.

[ladyfoxfyre]

This thread reminds me of PostSecret in a way.

[Full Metal Lotus]

I tried to talk my goddaughter's mother into having an abortion... (I didn't know that I was going to be named godparent at the time)...

Best argument I ever lost...
FML

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by The New and Improved Superman

25 years ago, our parents had forbidden my brothers & me from watching "the Shining" on HBO. Then one night, they went out for the evening when they definitely knew that "the Shining" would be airing that night.

My mother tried to install a sense of moral guilt in us beforehand: "Your father & I will not know if you watch "the Shining" on tv tonight. But YOU will know! And YOU will KNOW that you have disobeyed us."

We watched "the Shining."

Sounds like some kind of twisted set-up, really. Hell, even if I had no idea what "The Shining" was, that would totally entice me.

[moonstarssun]

I wrote my secret on the inside of the sweatshirt you loaned me. You'll never see it, and you'll never know how I feel. But I think you feel the same way.

[ripopgome]

- Wandering around godparents' basement one day I found godfather's stash of gay porn. Ugh. He's dead now, still don't know if godmother knows, I assume so.

- Attempting to fix parents' computer, find all my father's gay porn. MAKE IT STOP!? Arrgh. (I don't really care what you're into, but hide that stuff more carefully!)

- I stole a bunch (~100?) (relatively valuable) baseball cards from a cousin when I was maybe 15. I ended up selling them at a collectibles shop at some point when I was really broke. Sorry cuz.

- Yeah that was far from the first time I had boosted stuff from a store when I got caught in college. But I haven't done it again since.

- I think I broke the brand new plasma TV in your cabin. I mean, it still works, but it makes a funny noise now. Sorry.

- When I was 13 and you said "we had better just be kissing"... yeah, we were fucking. Sorry, Mom.

Aw crap, sorry for the old thread resurrection

[Cicero]

Having a big dick isn't all that it is cracked up to be.

And it was me who let the dogs out.

[Count Blucher]

Yes, I threw the snowball from the frost in the kitchen freezer across the dining room.

Yes, I defaced those campaign posters. I still liked the slogan "Stamp Out Virginity In Our Lifetime" better.

Yes, I lit the polish-cannon. The one that went off down the hall of the hotel.

Yes, I brought the alcohol. And the condoms. Why so many? [Louie Anderson]"...nickle difference..." [/Louie Anderson]

Yes I crazy glued that door's lock cylinder.

Yes, I leaned that garbage can of water against that other door (next time, turn down the music when we bang on the wall).

The gold fish that was left in the file cabinet by the front desk?

The beer in the copy machine?

Golf-cart bumper cars?

Tire-patch marks on the golf green while playing "Flag-hunter"?
(...you be amazed how much dirt comes up when you knock one of those cups out of the ground...)

Yup.

(I was NOT the one who threw up in the ice-machine, however).

But as for ruining a HS trip, getting our chapter of a national organization suspended for a few years, as well as each and every one of us Personally Banned from a certain golf resort. For. Life.

Well I guess that'd be me.
It was the first time I'd ever heard Zenyatta Mondatta. And everything changed...

[MickNickMaggies]

Dear lovely Italian girl- if you had asked me after we kissed that Christmas, I'd probably have dumped him. We're married now, but damn.

[trapezoidal jellyfish]

I wrote that essay for her. It was a college application essay, to a back-up school she never would have gone to in a million years, and would have been accepted to even if she submitted the whole application in purple crayon and didn't use punctuation.

[diggerwam]

I borrowed 6k from my parents right after we got married. Paid back maybe $1000 and gave my dad my heater car to sell. That's the reason I moved back to this shithole town to take care if them during their last decade on earth. After a while I knew I couldn't pay them back financially so I tried to pay them back with work. Both them are gone now and my sisters don't have a clue. I feel like I paid them back but if the family knew why I moved back I wouldn't look like such the selfless hero.

[SmellMyWort]

Originally Posted by Sonia Montdore

My brother married his fiancee secretly six months in advance of the big wedding that her parents and ours were planning. The fiancee needed surgery and didn't have good health insurance, so they got hitched so she'd have coverage. They didn't tell anyone but me, and then they went through with the fancy ceremony six months later as if they were both single because they didn't want to disappoint the parents.

I realize that this is an old thread, and it looks like Sonia Montdore hasn't posted here for some time, but I just wanted to say that I was struck by this post. What a great story to tell the kids/grandkids some day.

[Ethilrist]

Originally Posted by diggerwam

I borrowed 6k from my parents right after we got married. Paid back maybe $1000 and gave my dad my heater car to sell. That's the reason I moved back to this shithole town to take care if them during their last decade on earth. After a while I knew I couldn't pay them back financially so I tried to pay them back with work. Both them are gone now and my sisters don't have a clue. I feel like I paid them back but if the family knew why I moved back I wouldn't look like such the selfless hero.

There are other, and better, types of hero to look like. This kind, for instance.

[Ibanez]

I don't tell my family about health related incidents. I thought I was having a heart attack two years ago, went to the hospital myself turned out it was an different type of anxiety attack I never had before. Didn't tell them. Had a colonoscopy not long ago didn't tell them, I haven't heard back from them regarding if the polyps were precancerous, I'm assuming they weren't. Didn't tell them.