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  #1  
Old 05-05-2012, 12:48 PM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
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Murdered friends, relatives and co-workers

In an old thread from 2005 about Murdered Celebrities quite a few names came up that were at least startling if not hard to believe.

Not counting celebrity types (unless they're kin to you), who among people you've been close to have been murdered?

The closest I can think of was a coworker/friend who (along with his wife) was murdered by one of his sons.

A childhood friend of my brother's was murdered at least ten years ago after a long series of crimes and such. I hesitate to refer to him as "close" to me.

Some schoolmates I barely knew were murdered in high school or soon thereafter.

A rough estimate count of murdered people I knew well enough to be counted as "close" -- at one time or other -- would be less that 20 and probably fewer than that.

I'm not asking for names or details, just generalities of people in your own life who were victims of murder. Not car wrecks or other tragedies. Murder.
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  #2  
Old 05-05-2012, 01:45 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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My father. Well the man responsible was allowed to plea bargain to manslaughter.
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Old 05-05-2012, 01:50 PM
madmonk28 madmonk28 is offline
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No one close to me, but quite a few of my colleagues have been killed. I'm a foreign aid worker and I have worked with two people who were killed in fairly well known terrorist attacks, one in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. When I worked in Iraq in 2006, my project lost about one Iraqi national staff member a month to violence. It so happened that none of them were people I knew well, but one of my jobs was to write our monthly reports, which usually had at least one obituary of a colleague that I had to write.
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Old 05-05-2012, 01:56 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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People never believe me but I know an unusual amount of murder victims (probably more than 10 at this point. I am trying to count them in my head but I am sure I am missing a few). It is an artifact of growing up in a very small area with a very high violent crime rate. I also know a lot of murderers.

The one that affected me the most was one of the sweetest old ladies that I had ever met. She worked for my father's family when my father and aunt were little doing housekeeping and nanny type things. I knew her when she was much older. She used to walk two miles to the supermarket where I worked several times a week and then back home because she never drove. She was in her late 70's at that point. A young man broke into her home to rob her for drug money one night. She didn't have much but but he took it and then stabbed her to death. I was quite upset over that and hope he enjoys his life sentence.

Last edited by Shagnasty; 05-05-2012 at 01:57 PM..
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  #5  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:09 PM
Loach Loach is online now
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One close coworker was murdered by a family member.
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  #6  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:17 PM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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One relative murdered out of about 50 that would be that close or closer. One coworker that was a murderer (or framed by his girlfriend) out of somewhere between 50 and 100 coworkers that would be that "close" or closer. And a handful of deaths at a rather early age due to disease/accidents in a class of 50 to 100 "friends/aquantances".
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  #7  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:24 PM
~Olive~ ~Olive~ is offline
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brother 1977
sister 1999
another brother's girlfriend 2010
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  #8  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:28 PM
JoelUpchurch JoelUpchurch is offline
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My cousin was killed by a drug dealer. The dealer was convicted of murder, but I consider Larry partially culpable in his own death, since he had already bought drugs from the same dealer before and drove off without paying. It was a fairly famous case in Tennessee, since the dealer was 12 years old and they tried and convicted him as an adult.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:30 PM
Quartz Quartz is online now
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Some people with whom I was at school who were murdered by the IRA.
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  #10  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:38 PM
gallows fodder gallows fodder is online now
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My great-aunt. She was with a friend trying to help the friend escape from an abusive husband, and the husband shot and killed them both and then himself.
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  #11  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:40 PM
Colibri Colibri is online now
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No one I would regard as particularly close. But I have known a number of victims.

A woman who I dated a couple of times was murdered several years later, long after I had lost touch with her, probably by her ex-husband.

Besides her, I've known three or four others. A workman at the place I work was killed in a mugging. The owner of a hotel that I stayed at in Puerto Rico was killed in a hold-up. A kid who guided me in Africa was later stoned to death by other villagers who were jealous of the money he made from tourists.

I went to high school with a fire captain who died in the WTC on 9/11.

My next door neighbor went to jail for second degree murder for participating in the fatal beating of a neighborhood drug dealer, but I didn't know the victim.

My brothers and sisters know quite a few victims, because they lived in our neighborhood in the Bronx longer than I did.

Last edited by Colibri; 05-05-2012 at 02:41 PM..
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  #12  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:42 PM
Loach Loach is online now
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Oh I didn't mention my cousin. Murdered by terrorists NYC September 11, 2001.
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  #13  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:47 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Two co-workers were in a relationship that broke up. He shot her and then shot himself.

Another co-worker was possibly a murder victim. It was officially ruled a suicide but many of us that knew him think he was actually killed by his stepson and that his wife (the stepson's mother) and the stepson made it look like a suicide.

My cousin was murdered a couple of years ago. Coincidentally this was also by his stepson and a friend of the stepson. They also tried to conceal their crime (by making it look like a robbery) but they were arrested almost immediately.
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  #14  
Old 05-05-2012, 02:50 PM
freckafree freckafree is offline
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Originally Posted by ~Olive~ View Post
brother 1977
sister 1999
another brother's girlfriend 2010
Holy cow! I'm so sorry, ~Olive~!
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  #15  
Old 05-05-2012, 03:18 PM
pojimba pojimba is offline
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My nephew was murdered and dismembered by a whacked out crackhead.
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  #16  
Old 05-05-2012, 03:30 PM
Maastricht Maastricht is offline
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No-one, fortunately. The murder rate in the Netherlands is one-fifth of that in the US, and even then our murders are mostly heavy criminals-on-criminals, with very few civilian or domestic murders.

One friend committed suicide, though.

Last edited by Maastricht; 05-05-2012 at 03:30 PM..
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  #17  
Old 05-05-2012, 03:44 PM
florez florez is offline
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I, thankfully have not experienced the murder of anyone close to me, but the subject made me remember Frank, who posted on SDMB about his sister's murder. Is he still posting here? I hope he is alright, and the crime has been solved.
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  #18  
Old 05-05-2012, 04:14 PM
alice_in_wonderland alice_in_wonderland is offline
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My close friend was murdered in a random act of violence.

My cousin was murdered by a drunk driver.

I was quite close to both of them.
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  #19  
Old 05-05-2012, 05:52 PM
JoelUpchurch JoelUpchurch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alice_in_wonderland View Post
My cousin was murdered by a drunk driver.
The OP specifically excluded people killed in car wrecks. If we start including people killed by drunk drivers, then we need to start over. Even in the US, a lot more people get killed in car accidents than murdered.
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  #20  
Old 05-05-2012, 06:16 PM
Nawth Chucka Nawth Chucka is offline
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A friend of ours and fellow EOD tech was killed in Afghanistan in an act of war last May 26; does that count? It feels like it counts. The people who built and set up the IED meant to kill.
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  #21  
Old 05-05-2012, 06:25 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is online now
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My neighbor was murdered by his son, execution style, because he refused to cough up money for the boy and his friend to buy drugs.
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  #22  
Old 05-05-2012, 06:32 PM
VunderBob VunderBob is offline
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My Tae Kwon Do instructor. He was dating a woman that had a psycho ex-husband that tried to make trouble, and the instructor beat the living snot out of the guy. After psycho recovered from the ass whupping, he came back with an AK-47, cut my instructor in half one bullet at a time, them shot himself for good measure.

VWife's previous boyfriend was shot and killed during a hold-up, but I didn't know either one at the time.

Last edited by VunderBob; 05-05-2012 at 06:34 PM..
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  #23  
Old 05-05-2012, 08:08 PM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
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I don't even keep track any more of students and former students who are murder victims or murderers. After you get into the double digits, it's too depressing to dwell on.
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  #24  
Old 05-05-2012, 08:16 PM
The Hamster King The Hamster King is offline
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My dad's best friend was killed in a mob hit. He was sitting in his car in the parking lot of his country club, and the hitman walked up behind him, stuck a pistol through the open driver's side window, and blew his brains out. They didn't catch the people responsible until decades later. (My Dad's friend wasn't involved in anything illegal. They killed him because he discovered them skimming from a business he owned and was going to blow the whistle on them.)
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  #25  
Old 05-05-2012, 11:04 PM
notfrommensa notfrommensa is offline
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My godfather was murdered in a murder-suicide by his business partner. I don't remember him very well.

Somewhat Related, my next door neighbor when I was about 10-12 yrs old (he was the same age as me), is serving a life sentence for multiple murders. Kind of creeps me out when I think about it.
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  #26  
Old 05-05-2012, 11:10 PM
missred missred is offline
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A woman who I used to work with was shot by her husband in a murder-suicide. The situation was made more sad in that it was done in the presence of their nine-year-old daughter.

A college friend and her four-year-old daughter were murdered by drug dealers looking for her boyfriend.

A few years ago, a guy who used to hang out with my friend group was knifed to death in a bar fight.

When I still lived in Nashville, my neighbor two doors down was stabbed to death in a domestic incident.

I hope against hope that this is the extent of my list for the rest of my life.
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  #27  
Old 05-05-2012, 11:17 PM
AK84 AK84 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nawth Chucka View Post
A friend of ours and fellow EOD tech was killed in Afghanistan in an act of war last May 26; does that count? It feels like it counts. The people who built and set up the IED meant to kill.
While I am sorry for your loss, I hesitate to call the killing of a soldier in a war zone a murder.
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  #28  
Old 05-05-2012, 11:33 PM
Old Eel Old Eel is offline
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Three, two friends and a coworker.
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  #29  
Old 05-06-2012, 07:04 AM
JoelUpchurch JoelUpchurch is offline
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Originally Posted by Scumpup View Post
I don't even keep track any more of students and former students who are murder victims or murderers. After you get into the double digits, it's too depressing to dwell on.
Were you teaching in a juvenile detention facility?
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  #30  
Old 05-06-2012, 07:11 AM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
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Originally Posted by JoelUpchurch View Post
Were you teaching in a juvenile detention facility?
No. I just have been teaching in a very rough area for a long time.
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  #31  
Old 05-06-2012, 07:16 AM
LouisB LouisB is offline
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A guy I associated with years ago was shotgunned while sitting in his recliner. I don't know about being a buddy; he was very volatile and would be your buddy one minute and turn on you the next.
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  #32  
Old 05-06-2012, 07:35 AM
Slithy Tove Slithy Tove is offline
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A few people, but one stands out. Twenty years ago I worked in a printing shop in Reno Nevada. When I wanted a candy bar I'd go out the back and across the alley to a hole-in-the-wall Rexall Drug. The cashier was a small woman in her sixties, with a dull red rinse hairstyle from thirty years earlier. She was like a great many old people you see in the cities: having to work at small jobs well past the age of retirement, marginalized socially, television and a small pet for companionship. This world granted her only a little, and even that was taken away when she was murdered by a burglar. All these years later, I wonder if I'm the only person who remembers she was ever alive.
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  #33  
Old 05-06-2012, 08:03 AM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
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Originally Posted by Slithy Tove View Post
...All these years later, I wonder if I'm the only person who remembers she was ever alive.
Your touching story reminds me of one I had almost forgotten. A "corner market" near where I live now used to be a regular "beer stop" for me and the night cashier was a cute, petite Asian woman who was always cheerful and friendly and engaging with every customer. Her English was good enough that she even enjoyed some of my jokes.

She was found early one morning in the back room on the floor with a bullet wound to her head. I don't know if a culprit was ever found. I quit going to that store after that.
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  #34  
Old 05-06-2012, 08:55 AM
Tapiotar Tapiotar is offline
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Don't know anyone who was murdered by others, and I am thankful for that, but I knew three suicides, self-murderers. Two were high school classmates, one a relative.

May you who grieve be comforted.
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  #35  
Old 05-06-2012, 09:19 AM
Donnerwetter Donnerwetter is offline
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This thread is absolutely jaw dropping. I guess I live a very sheltered life here in my little town in the heart of Old Europe.

I don't know anybody who has been murdered and I have never met anybody who knew somebody who has been murdered or would have heard about such an incident.

I am almost certain that there hasn't been a single murder in my town (pop. 30,000) in the last 60 years. A few suicides, but definitely no murder.

The father of a school friend of mine hanged himself when we were in 10th grade. But that is about as dramatic as it gets.
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  #36  
Old 05-06-2012, 09:28 AM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
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As an aside, manner of explanation really, for how this idea came to my mind, gruesome as it is, an earlier thread dealing with pop music made me remember a guy I used to work with being somehow responsible for its creation and how that guy worked directly with the friend who was murdered (with his wife) by their son. Click, click, click: this thread.

So many of the threads I have started have worked that way. Chain reaction sorts of things. Maybe that idea of how threads come to be is worth another thread in itself? Maybe not...
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  #37  
Old 05-06-2012, 10:40 AM
Brynda Brynda is offline
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Donnerwetter, don't think this is representative at all. I have lived all over the US for 50 years without knowing anyone who was murdered.
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  #38  
Old 05-06-2012, 10:43 AM
MsWhatsit MsWhatsit is offline
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My husband's co-worker's two kids were murdered by her ex-husband, who then killed himself. I haven't known anyone personally who's been murdered, though.
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  #39  
Old 05-06-2012, 10:59 AM
Carptracker Carptracker is offline
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Wow, this is disturbing. Of course, it is not a scientific poll, and also how much of it is one of those "7 degrees" things I can't say. If so, it shows that one horrendous act has a long reach.

I did lose a friend to a vicious murder. His wife and my wife were close friends; I was never enough of a sports nut too be super tight with him. He was the sports editor of our local paper. He would feed a cat in the parking lot every night before leaving work, and while doing so, two men approached and brutally bludgeoned him to death with a heavy object.
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  #40  
Old 05-06-2012, 11:13 AM
Motorgirl Motorgirl is offline
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Donnerwetter, don't think this is representative at all. I have lived all over the US for 50 years without knowing anyone who was murdered.
Ditto, though only 40 years. In a major metropolitan area for the last 20 years.
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  #41  
Old 05-06-2012, 11:21 AM
billfish678 billfish678 is offline
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The US national murder rate appears to be about 5 per 100,000 per year. Assuming 40 years of lifetime experience one would expect to have experienced 1 murder for someone you "know" if you "know" 500 people. Given the whole friends of friends and relatives of relatives and fellow far flung coworkers in megacorp, "knowing" somebody who was murdered seems to me to not be an unlikely thing.
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  #42  
Old 05-06-2012, 11:29 AM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Yeah, I don't know anyone who's been murdered either. Even just counting deaths without foul play, the closest ones I can think of are a high school classmate a few years younger than me who rode her moped without a helmet and got hit by a minivan and a friend's mom who had MS. Everyone else I know is still alive.
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  #43  
Old 05-06-2012, 12:08 PM
Loach Loach is online now
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As mentioned before I have two that I know from my personal life. As a police officer I have professional knowledge of all the murders that have happened in this town for the last 15 years. The town (over 60,000) has probably averaged 1 a year. I'd have to look it up. I know there have been several years when there were none. Several years when there were more than one so it evened out. Almost all were from family members or domestic situations. Only one was a stranger.
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  #44  
Old 05-06-2012, 12:26 PM
Revtim Revtim is offline
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I worked with Bernd Jürgen Brandes, the guy who volunteered to be killed and eaten by Armin Meiwes.
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  #45  
Old 05-06-2012, 01:03 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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I'd known Dawn Breedon for about 20 years when her three year old son was the victim of a murder by his father, who then committed suicide.
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  #46  
Old 05-06-2012, 01:09 PM
Nocturne Nocturne is offline
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A friendly acquaintance from high school was picked up by cops for cocaine possession and ended up killing two policemen and a dispatcher in my small hometown, all of whom I knew. I grieved for all four of them -- the criminal (whom I had liked in high school) for wasting his life like that, and the three men he killed who were all rather decent sorts.

Those are the only people who've been murdered that I knew. I've known a few girls who were victims of burglary/rape (by strangers with guns) and several suicide victims, but just that murder.
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  #47  
Old 05-06-2012, 01:17 PM
DMark DMark is offline
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My cousin was a member of the Hell's Angels in California decades ago. Things didn't end well and they never found who murdered him and apparently cut him into several pieces.

A guy I knew growing up got married and they had a daughter. He used to be sort of a nerd, but grew into a studly looking guy and fell in love with a student at the college where he was teaching. His wife took it badly and killed their daughter and tried to commit suicide. She lived and spent a few years in jail.

I was a neighbor of a guy in NYC and we got to be good friends and he and his then wife came to perform (dance company) in Berlin and stayed with me. I found out years later than he and his new girlfriend went missing and there had been some arguments with the landlord. It was front page news in NYC for a few weeks - they searched everywhere for the bodies with no success. The mother of his girlfriend has been relentless and has had the case brought up every couple of years to see if it could be solved, but with no success.
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  #48  
Old 05-06-2012, 01:24 PM
DMark DMark is offline
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Too late for an edit, but here is a link to the NYC story. I lived at the 76 Pearl Street apartments for a year.
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  #49  
Old 05-06-2012, 01:54 PM
picunurse picunurse is offline
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I worked closely with a woman whose son was shot in the head by an 11 year old girl who wanted to play with his video game.

She told him she would shoot him if he didn't give it to her. She climbed onto a closet shelf to get the gun, then got the key to a cabinet in the garage to get the bullets, loaded the gun then came back to the room, put the barrel to his head and shot him. She told all this to the investigators. She also told them she knew he would die, and that's what she wanted. She said he should have shared.

She spent 16 weeks in juvie. At her sentencing, her mother yelled at my friend, "Look what you've done to my baby girl!"

It still makes me sick to my stomach.
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  #50  
Old 05-07-2012, 04:30 AM
Tapiotar Tapiotar is offline
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Originally Posted by picunurse View Post
I worked closely with a woman whose son was shot in the head by an 11 year old girl who wanted to play with his video game.

She told him she would shoot him if he didn't give it to her. She climbed onto a closet shelf to get the gun, then got the key to a cabinet in the garage to get the bullets, loaded the gun then came back to the room, put the barrel to his head and shot him. She told all this to the investigators. She also told them she knew he would die, and that's what she wanted. She said he should have shared.

She spent 16 weeks in juvie. At her sentencing, her mother yelled at my friend, "Look what you've done to my baby girl!"

It still makes me sick to my stomach.
This is one of the most shocking and disheartening stories I've ever heard. The reaction of the girl's mother is horrible, too.

Shouldn't schools be teaching ethics, empathy, and compassion?
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