Hell's Kitchen and MasterChef Summer 2012 *open spoiler*

[Ferret Herder]

Originally Posted by amarinth

This is the first year I've ever watched any of MasterChef at all, I haven't caught every episode or even every minute of the episodes I have seen parts of.
What's with the one judge who doesn't know how to say "espresso"? Is he an actually known chef or is he just a reality show judge? Repeatedly screwing up that severely damaged his credibility for me. Everything else he said about authentic Italian tiramisu didn't really matter as much coming from someone who can't correctly pronounce the ingredients.

Which one is mispronouncing, the bigger guy or the littler guy? (I haven't seen the episode yet, I recorded it.) Either way, both of them have tremendous backgrounds.

The bigger guy is Graham Elliot Bowles, who worked at Charlie Trotter's and TRU in Chicago, was the head chef at Avenues, and now has his own self-named Michelin-starred restaurant here. The littler guy is Joe Bastianich, son of the famed restauranteur/cookbook author Lidia Bastianich, who worked in the family restaurants and has opened a bunch of restaurants with Mario Batali.

(Not that it doesn't make me want to hit people when they use those kinds of pronunciations; my knowledgeable advanced biology teacher in high school constantly pronounced nuclear/nucleus as noo-kyoo-lur/noo-kyoo-luss. )

[Motorgirl]

Originally Posted by Ferret Herder

Which one is mispronouncing, the bigger guy or the littler guy? (I haven't seen the episode yet, I recorded it.) Either way, both of them have tremendous backgrounds.

I caught it too - it was Joe Bastianich. He pronounced it "expresso." I told him his mother would be disappointed in him, but I don't think he heard me.

[Dewey Finn]

I was watching yesterday's episode of Masterchef as I was getting dressed this morning. Gordon asked one woman where the sponge was for her dessert, and her response was hilarious. She said something like, "He was speaking to me in a language I couldn't understand. Somehow I understood that I needed to add ladyfingers." Presumably (although I haven't seen the rest of the episode), he meant that she needed spongecake for the trifle. There was just something hilarious about the way she spoke to the camera.

[StarvingButStrong]

BTW, what's up with using commercial ladyfingers being okay? They've been utterly snarky about using off the shelf items in the past.

[Dewey Finn]

Time limitations, perhaps?

[Raygun99]

While I'm no professional, or even a ranking amateur cook, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that making ladyfingers, then prepping them to use in tiramisu, while making the rest of the tiramisu, all in the span of an hour, is pretty much impossible.

[gotpasswords]

Originally Posted by Motorgirl

I caught it too - it was Joe Bastianich. He pronounced it "expresso." I told him his mother would be disappointed in him, but I don't think he heard me.

Expresso is a recognized variant of espresso. The odd thing is that it's considered to be the Spanish, French or even an Americanized version, whereas espresso is Italian. What gets goofy is that espresso is thought to be a corruption of the Latin "exprimere" as the letter x is not in the standard Italian language so the x-version may actually be correct.

I can live with him calling it expresso. If he wants to axe someone a question, well, then I'll have to hunt him down.

[ministryman]

Originally Posted by Raygun99

While I'm no professional, or even a ranking amateur cook, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that making ladyfingers, then prepping them to use in tiramisu, while making the rest of the tiramisu, all in the span of an hour, is pretty much impossible.

I agree, having made tiramisu with premade lady fingers before, and I am not in these people's caliber.

[Anamorphic]

So I've been watching Hell's Kitchen this season, for the first time. I have to admit, it is sort of entertaining. But it seems so obviously... staged, or pre-determined sometimes, that it's turning me off. Like, the latest episode... the two up for elimination were the big guy and some rather bland guy (I'm not very good with names).

It was clear from the episode, if I'm understanding the idea of the show correctly, that the big guy should have been the one to go. He was screwing up constantly throughout the episode, getting yelled at time and time again, had made some patently obvious mistakes (seriously, pre-making scallops? Even I know how silly that is). It seemed the other guy hadn't really done much wrong, and was put up for elimination simply because no one else had been so obviously bad that episode. So, clearly the big guy was going to be the one to go, right?

Of course, no; Ramsey chose the other guy. I was stunned for about a second, before I realized - well, of course. The big guy is a much bigger personality. He's much more interesting and open and a character than the other guy. He bristles with the others on his own team, opening up room for conflict. He's obviously much better for ratings. That's clearly the reason he was kept around.

Which, to be honest, kind of ruins the show for me. Is it always this transparent?

[Ferret Herder]

My WAG was that the big dude got the "incompetent edit" - that the producers said to edit out all the stuff with almost anyone else fucking up, just for the sake of a "surprise" boot from Ramsay at the end. But I guess it could have been per your way, too. We already suspect they pick drama queens and fuckups to be in the cast, so why not?

Another recommendation for "The F Word," BTW. It's quite good.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Is it always this transparent?

Yes.

[Dewey Finn]

Of course Hell's Kitchen is staged. Why else would every competition come down to the wire? Surely sometimes one or the other team would be leading in the vote count throughout.

[Anamorphic]

Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees!

Yes.

I was thinking as much. Not much reason to keep watching, then. Oh well!

[Motorgirl]

Originally Posted by gotpasswords

Expresso is a recognized variant of espresso. The odd thing is that it's considered to be the Spanish, French or even an Americanized version, whereas espresso is Italian.

And his mom grew up in Italy, which is why I said his mom would be disappointed.

[TBG]

Originally Posted by StarvingButStrong

BTW, what's up with using commercial ladyfingers being okay? They've been utterly snarky about using off the shelf items in the past.

I don't know, but I was happy to see a challenge where half the cooks had to use a canned product instead of fresh, and the canned ones tended to do better. Sometimes it's interesting to take a premade product and then turn it around into something better.

[Saint Cad]

Originally Posted by Dewey Finn

Of course Hell's Kitchen is staged. Why else would every competition come down to the wire? Surely sometimes one or the other team would be leading in the vote count throughout.

Not at all. The two teams are ALWAYS so close in ability that it comes down to the last vote/tiebreak.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

I think that was his point, considering the first part of the quoted section.

Then of course there are the times when one team starts off strong, then the other just happens to rattle of a few dramatic points in a row to tie things up.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

Then they come back and the team that was leading wins anyway or something.

[TBG]

Originally Posted by Saint Cad

Not at all. The two teams are ALWAYS so close in ability that it comes down to the last vote/tiebreak.

Is there a missing at the end of that statement?

[Saint Cad]

Originally Posted by TBG

Is there a missing at the end of that statement?

Of course not. It's reality TV which means it's real.

[MPB in Salt Lake]

It seems ironic to me that MasterChef, a show supposedly dedicated to fine food and world-class cuisine, is the television equivalent of Taco Bell or McDonalds.

The manufactured drama, the gimmick contestants with the (ostensibly) interesting backstories (the single mom with only $40 to her name, the gay Asian kid whose traditional family doesn't approve of him becoming a chef, the gourmet cowboy with a passion for haute cuisine) the panel of judges all playing utterly predictable roles, (the Sophisticated, Intimidating Heavy, the Friendly Fat Guy, the Stern Maestro With A Heart Of Gold) the cheesy background music: The entire production is often literally cringeworthy to me.

So if my tastes are so pure and refined what the fuck am I watching it for?

Well, much like crappy fast-food, sometimes crappy television is better than nothing at all (I have never had cable, and Monday night broadcast TV options are mighty slim pickings around here this time of year) and I actually like (well done) cooking shows in general, and finally, I suppose that I have to admit that on some level, I guess I must like Gawd-Awful "reality" shows that let me watch an embarrassing trainwreck in the (dis)comfort of my own home.

That said, I realize that she is a married woman, but I couldn't get over how physically stunning Anna was; She looked like a young, hotter Blair Brown or Laura San Giacomo, and I am fully convinced that she's the most attractive woman on TV this summer. It's too bad she's gone, but she is drop dead gorgeous, and hopefully her food industry aspirations will come to pass in the future.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Anna? Really? You can have her, just means one less person I have to murder be more attractive than to win the heart of Christine, who despite her marriage, is easily the most attractive woman in Master Chef.

[gotpasswords]

I just liked how someone was helping Christine mime the motions of making tortellini

SPOILER:

even though she was not in that elimination and did not need to make any

As for HK, I couldn't (well, reall, I could) believe how stupid everyone was when

SPOILER:

Kimmie

got burned. Don't just go into a back room yelling "Medic!" - get your arm under some cold water to get the heat away rather than letting it sit there, continuing to sizzle away.

[corkboard]

I really hope, for her sake, that Kimmy is a great cook, because she's a terrible rapper. My 10 year old daughter could write something better.

[BrassyPhrase]

Originally Posted by corkboard

I really hope, for her sake, that Kimmy is a great cook, because she's a terrible rapper. My 10 year old daughter could write something better.

I couldn't watch that. I don't have that much schadenfreude in...anywhere in me.

My Fella (I addicted him to HK) have this thing..the music swells, Gordon says "
And the person to go home is....." And we both scream "COMMERCIAL"!
Tv show and we get so much fun from it.

[Saint Cad]

The MasterChef challenge. Was it more a reflection of cooking ability or if the customers prefer Mexican, Indian or Mexican food?

[TBG]

Originally Posted by gotpasswords

I just liked how someone was helping Christine mime the motions of making tortellini

SPOILER:

even though she was not in that elimination and did not need to make any

As for HK, I couldn't (well, reall, I could) believe how stupid everyone was when

SPOILER:

Kimmie

got burned. Don't just go into a back room yelling "Medic!" - get your arm under some cold water to get the heat away rather than letting it sit there, continuing to sizzle away.

No need for spoiler tags if it's aired, but yeah, as Clamenza was yelling MEDIC! CAN WE GET A MEDIC! I was like, don't take her to the back walk her a foot over to that big honking sink and turn on the cold water. Why was Clamenza over by her in the first place? You'd think someone on the red team would've been closer...

Originally Posted by Saint Cad

The MasterChef challenge. Was it more a reflection of cooking ability or if the customers prefer Mexican, Indian or Mexican food?

Yes, I know I'd never pick Indian over Mexican or even Mexican.

Actually just looking at what they were putting out, I probably would've gone with the American. 2 burgers for 7 bucks? Damn. I think not getting that meat cooking soon enough so they were just sitting there twiddling their thumbs is the only reason they lost. It was quite funny how David kept saying "It wasn't the burgers. It wasn't the burgers." over and over, when it clearly was the burgers not going on the stove early enough.

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Well, considering that He-Who-Made-Sure-The-Blind-Girl-Got-Picked-Last doesn't seem to understand the importance of cooking ground beef, it's probably a combination of ability and tastes.

[Maserschmidt]

For those of you who stopped watching HK, I can summarize this latest episode:
- Shut up you bitch.
- No bitch, YOU shut up.

[YogSosoth]

Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees!

Anna? Really? You can have her, just means one less person I have to murder be more attractive than to win the heart of Christine, who despite her marriage, is easily the most attractive woman in Master Chef.

You're both wrong! Monti clearly beats both of them in the looks department. Not only is she got, she's got that extra sizzle in how she carries herself and has a unique look. Plus, I love that fiery red lipstick. She can toast my bacon anytime!

[MPB in Salt Lake]

Originally Posted by YogSosoth

You're both wrong! Monti clearly beats both of them in the looks department. Not only is she got, she's got that extra sizzle in how she carries herself and has a unique look. Plus, I love that fiery red lipstick. She can toast my bacon anytime!

Monti is fairly physically attractive (she looks very similar to a server at my local watering hole, just a bit heavier and a few years older; If you are ever in Salt Lake, I'll introduce you to her, as she could be Monti's little sister, right down to the kooky glasses) but while I realize this might make me sound judgmental and callus, I think that anyone who would actually name a child Danger must be an attention whore of the highest order, and someone who thrives on the attitude of "Lookit Me!!! Lookit Meee!!!; I Flaunt Social Convention!!!" and so is to be avoided at every opportunity.

There was another really attractive woman on the first couple of episodes, but I guess she has already gotten the axe....

[MPB in Salt Lake]

I haven't watched many reality competition shows, but I think that Monti's quote tonight may have been the most vapid thing I have ever heard on a show like MasterChef.

(Talking about a rival contestant) "I really think that Janet wants me out of the competition; Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she wants everybody out of the competition!"

[YogSosoth]

Wow, what the hell, a pizza stone?

[zagloba]

Next week: "It's Master Chef, not Master Bait!"

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Between Anna, Christine and Monti, I think it's a little late in the game to be telling us what we shouldn't be doing when we have some free time to think of the aforementioned ladies.

[Maserschmidt]

Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees!

Between Anna, Christine and Monti, I think it's a little late in the game to be telling us what we shouldn't be doing when we have some free time to think of the aforementioned ladies.

Dude, you realize Monti would cry every time you had sex, right? Heck, she might even do it during your fantasies.

[Saint Cad]

Originally Posted by MPB in Salt Lake

but while I realize this might make me sound judgmental and callus, I think that anyone who would actually name a child Danger must be an attention whore of the highest order, and someone who thrives on the attitude of "Lookit Me!!! Lookit Meee!!!; I Flaunt Social Convention!!!" and so is to be avoided at every opportunity.

I can't tell you why exactly but I betcha that her ex wanted to name the kid Danger and Monti went along with it even though she disagreed.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Monti has no place in my fantasies, tell it to YogSosoth.

[interface2x]

I was out last night - who got booted on Master Chef? I don't much care about HK anymore, this season blows.

[Saint Cad]

Originally Posted by interface2x

I was out last night - who got booted on Master Chef? I don't much care about HK anymore, this season blows.

Cowboy Mike & Tanya

I have to say that with the women on HK, it looks like the girlfights I saw when teaching middle school.

Kimmie - the bully that uses size to intimidate and talks about how ghetto and gangsta she is. Combination of self-delusional (everything I do is right) and might make right. Like a bully, she is always being unfairly attacked when someone stands up to her. Needs to be punched in the face like Sarah Silverman in Way of the Gun.

Christina - complete instigator then cries about how she can't stand it. In some ways just as bad as Kimmie at creating drama.

Robyn - I like that she stands up to Kimmie. Her problem is that she alienated most of her team early on.

Tiffany - Always looks like that a drunk girl at a party that is half a drink from falling asleep. She's like a jackel on a ribroast when it comes to her hate of Barbie and of the 5 listed, by far the weakest cook. When asked on a scale of 0-10 of her passion, she said 9. How the f**k do you give a number smaller than 10 as an answer to that question?

Barbie - In some ways the most hated character type in reality shows. She knows this is a game and is playing for the win both by subtle manipulation (telling Chef Andi the onions were too thick) and the psychological games. What does it say about the Red Team that the Manipulator is almost an afterthought this season.

[YogSosoth]

Originally Posted by Maserschmidt

Dude, you realize Monti would cry every time you had sex, right? Heck, she might even do it during your fantasies.

Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees!

Monti has no place in my fantasies, tell it to YogSosoth.

Hey, we'd both be crying in my fantasies! And neither one of us would be doing it willingly

[adhemar]

Originally Posted by Saint Cad

I can't tell you why exactly but I betcha that her ex wanted to name the kid Danger and Monti went along with it even though she disagreed.

In think it is a trendy thing. I have an aquaintance who named her daughter Danger,of course I also have friends who named their son Heironymous and another with a son named Tyberious. Fortunatly both have really big dads and strong mothers so these boys will know how to defend themseves.

[Laggard]

I don't know if I can finish this season of HK. Its degenerated more than ever into a yelling contest. The entire thing more predictable and staged than ever.

[not what you'd expect]

Originally Posted by zagloba

Next week: "It's Master Chef, not Master Bait!"

That made me just about choke on my popcorn when I saw it. Too funny.


Man, Joe has no problem being mean. He would make me cry. And Monti can cook. I'd love to have her soup and soda bread recipes.

[Death of Rats]

On an HK note, I found it hilarious that when Kimmie got burned in part 1 you clearly and distinctly heard the medic tell her at least twice that she would not be allowed to return to the kitchen that night. Cut to part 2, and she gets bandaged up and sent back in to cook with no mention of not being allowed to return and by the time the fighting was going on in the dorm she did not even have the bandages any more.

[Snickers]

Originally Posted by BrassyPhrase

My Fella (I addicted him to HK) have this thing..the music swells, Gordon says "
And the person to go home is....." And we both scream "COMMERCIAL"!
Tv show and we get so much fun from it.

Hee. I annoy El Hubbo by explaning the little joke they always have in that quick graphic cut right before the commercial. Like Kimmie getting burned, then they cut to a quick graphic of a frying pat with bacon frying away and some smoke comes out in the Hell's Kitchen trident logo, and I'll say, "see, it's funny because she just got a grease burn. Get it?"

or "It's because it's so steamy in the kitchen, get it?" or "It's because he was sweating so bad, get it?" or "Oh! Because they cut the meat too soon and didn't let it rest, get it?" Or whatever, as appropriate for that little graphic thingie.

Yes, I am lucky that he puts up with me. Cracks me up, anyway.

[Chicagojeff]

Originally Posted by BrassyPhrase

I couldn't watch that. I don't have that much schadenfreude in...anywhere in me.

My Fella (I addicted him to HK) have this thing..the music swells, Gordon says "
And the person to go home is....." And we both scream "COMMERCIAL"!
Tv show and we get so much fun from it.

Me and the G/F watch it together too.. we just yell at each other ITS RAW!!!! I like it when Gordon says.. "Come here you!!!!"...

Ten seasons people.. nothing can stay compleletly fresh. It really hinges on the people they've chosen for the cast.. I really like last years group.. and the last year's group on Biggest Loser.. the cast on both shows recent year.. they suck..

Rooting for Clemenza and Brian.. Justin can cook his ass off.. and as for the women.. Christina is so much better than the rest of them .. they deliberately ignore her (producers) we would see that she is obvious to make the finals.

Robin.. Tiffany.. ughhh another reason to watch. vicariously hoping they catch on fire.. lol

[VOW]

Originally Posted by Snickers

Hee. I annoy El Hubbo by explaning the little joke they always have in that quick graphic cut right before the commercial. Like Kimmie getting burned, then they cut to a quick graphic of a frying pat with bacon frying away and some smoke comes out in the Hell's Kitchen trident logo, and I'll say, "see, it's funny because she just got a grease burn. Get it?"

or "It's because it's so steamy in the kitchen, get it?" or "It's because he was sweating so bad, get it?" or "Oh! Because they cut the meat too soon and didn't let it rest, get it?" Or whatever, as appropriate for that little graphic thingie.

Yes, I am lucky that he puts up with me. Cracks me up, anyway.

C'mon. You left out the BEST one!

Robyn screams at Kimmie: "Suck %&#$!"

Cut to a skillet, and a kielbasa is thrown in, with the HK logo.


~VOW

[TBG]

No winner? When you kick out the entire red team but keep 3 of the blue team and they finish their own and the red team's service? BWAH? I know things are rigged and all, but could they at least try and pretend it's not?

[Death of Rats]

No. At this point the Drama trumps everything. Even the last bit of credibility the might've had.

[adhemar]

I am a little behind in episodes but wanted to tell you that Kimmie on hells Kitchen graduated from collierville High school about as far from the hood in Memphis as you can get.