Trans-Atlantic flight with a 15 month old

[Lochdale]

So we're flying to Ireland from Chicago in a couple of days with Lochdale Jnr. He's 15 months of great litte guy. He's been back to Ireland twice already but this is the first time as a fully mobile little person.

Any advice? Other than to point out that we are crazy.

We've gotten him his own seat. We're bringing along his car seat. We're going to have both seats next to him but it's a small, older plane so it's going to be a slow flight (thanks American Airlines).

He's a bit young for videos though he does like to beat the ipad. We'll have food, diapers, bottles, toys etc.

I'm stressing out about it already as I'm fearing 7+ hours of meltdown. Cheers.

[perfectparanoia]

My condolences.

Is he interested in TV yet? bringing a portable DVD player can make it much easier.

Is his seat between you and your spouse? That would be ideal.

You should bring LOTS of small snack food that he really likes. Major distraction.

The reality is that you can be as prepared as possible and he still might meltdown for the whole time. Just make sure the people around you know how hard you are trying.

I heard of someone packaging up earplugs with a little note of apology and giving it to all the people seated around them. It broke the ice and helped people not to kill the parents.

[Barkis is Willin']

Supposedly the cabin pressurization can be torture for little ones, so you might want to take some kind of pain meds. Also, if the flight is during normal sleep time, some Benadryl might come in handy if he has trouble sleeping.

If you can get him to watch videos, they do make toddler headphones that will fit him much better than regular ones.

[Registered at Last]

If you want him in his car seat make sure you get the seat checked ahead of time to ensure it is an approved seat. And if he is in his carseat then he will have to be placed at the window, so make sure they know when you are choosing seats.

Make sure you order him a toddler meal. It should be kid friendly, but definitely bring some of his favourite snacks (& some treats too).

Get lots of small NEW toys for him. They are gold and should be reserved for when he is at his wits end ... don't give them to him all at once. Ideally you should come home with some of your emergency toys. Also, consider wrapping the toys for an extra level of special (and distraction).

Good Luck and have fun!

[Lochdale]

Some good advice, thank you.

We purchased three seats in the middle row (it's a 2 by 3 by 2 configuration). So we have all three seats but do not have a window seat and American didn't seem to think about it or note it....

[TriPolar]

Have a bottle ready for him. He may have graduated from those by now, but sucking on one will help relieve the pressure in his ears.

[CookingWithGas]

You are not crazy. I started taking my kids to Egypt younger than that, an 18-hour trip from DC. Now that's crazy

Advice above is all good. Have a lot of little snacks, favorite toys, including anything that brings comfort at bedtime. Most flights to Europe are overnight so hopefully he'll sleep, put him in his PJ's. Bring a few books to read to him, or whatever is your normal evening routine. I would not advise screen time as that will tend to stimulate rather than sedate.

[Disheavel]

Originally Posted by Registered at Last

Get lots of small NEW toys for him. They are gold and should be reserved for when he is at his wits end ... don't give them to him all at once. Ideally you should come home with some of your emergency toys. Also, consider wrapping the toys for an extra level of special (and distraction).

I second this. Go to your local toy store and buy 20 $1 things up by the front counter (the wind up toys, plastic animals, tops, cars, silly puddy, etc. and wrap them like the twist candy with ribbons. You want to have enough for one every 30 minutes there and back (in case you can't find anything over there). Cheap enough to just throw away or lose if necessary. Also 5 new books that your little one has never seen before plus some old classics.

I spent 4 hours once in the bathroom on a trans-atlantic flight with a 16 month old that would not settle down. I had to stand but she sat and played on the changing table- it worked quite well for us and our seat neighbors. So my last suggestion is one of teamwork- I would just designate one of you to be responsible on the flight and the other sleep as hard as they can. After landing, the jobs are reversed so that the other can catch up on sleep while the other is the primary minder. This has subsequently been easier for us as due to my height I can't sleep well on airplanes and don't need nearly as much sleep.

[Disheavel]

Bring along PJs and change the kid into them after the dinner is served and try to mimic a normal bedtime routine.

Also, this is a bit extreme, but if you aren't a regular driving family, have your child fall asleep in their car seat a couple of times just to get them comfortable with the idea.

[Sattua]

We just did a 9-hour car trip BOTH WAYS with our then-15-month-old, so I feel your pain.

A magnadoodle
The B. Hellophone (warning: will annoy other passengers)
Animal Alphabet
Snacks in these

We had a travel DVD player but it went kaput at the beginning of the drive home. I strongly urge you to just let the kid watch TV. It will make the trip 100 times smoother for everyone involved, and it's only a few hours of brain scrambling. How many IQ points could he possibly lose?

[Crafter_Man]

We flew from Ohio to Aukland, NZ with a 9 month old. It was quite a trip.

[Placebo Effect]

Originally Posted by Sattua

The B. Hellophone (warning: will annoy other passengers)

Then why recommend it?

It's bad enough being seated next to an annoying LOUD child, without said kid ALSO having annoying LOUD toys.

[Tara57]

My boys were mesmerized by Baby Einstein DVD's at that age. I am under no illusion that they make babies any smarter, but they sure do buy you some quiet time. You can look at some clips on Youtube, then check some DVD's out from the library or Netflix if your child is suitably hypnotized.

[Sattua]

Originally Posted by Placebo Effect

Then why recommend it?

It's the least loud of the many loud toys that entertained my daughter on that car ride, and the most entertaining feature--a voice recorder and playback--isn't loud at all, is no more annoying than regular conversation. It's even got a "low volume" setting that would be drown out by the sound of the plane's engines for anyone not right next to it.

[eclectic wench]

Have you tried him on phone videos of himself? At that age Widget would happily have spent hours watching a two-minute video of herself jumping/wiggling/eating/whatever.

[tapu]

You're not going to be able to keep him settled in a seat the whole time. Just accept that, do what you can to keep noise and disturbance to a minimum, and set him loose!

I could always keep my kid happy on a plane for hours and hours by letting him periodically run up and down the aisles with me following. I was always conscientious about not bothering people, but they have to give a little too. If someone bitches, just shrug and say, "Well, takes a village." The run/sit routine works out far better than sit/sit routine.

IMHO

[Placebo Effect]

Originally Posted by Sattua

It's the least loud of the many loud toys that entertained my daughter on that car ride, and the most entertaining feature--a voice recorder and playback--isn't loud at all, is no more annoying than regular conversation. It's even got a "low volume" setting that would be drown out by the sound of the plane's engines for anyone not right next to it.

But you said upthread that it "will annoy other passengers"

Bad parent.

[tapu]

I'm not sure what kind of toy this is, and I wouldn't take one that was clearly annoying, but if it just makes a noise or something and people act like they're entitled to sleep through a flight with no disturbances whatsoever, then no, sorry. Children are in the world, too, and it really does take a village.

[suranyi]

Originally Posted by Lochdale

Some good advice, thank you.

We purchased three seats in the middle row (it's a 2 by 3 by 2 configuration). So we have all three seats but do not have a window seat and American didn't seem to think about it or note it....

That should be OK. On narrow-body planes the child seat needs to be by a window, but on wide-bodies it can be in the center section as long as it doesn't block anybody's exit. I flew with my child on a wide-body like this and it was fine.

[China Guy]

If you do the Benadryl route - test first a week or two before the flight. It can make some kids hyperactive, and kids that used to sleep with Benadryl can change and it wires em out 6 months later.

If he uses a soother, bring a couple and have some ready for a quick draw.

Bring some comforting things like his blanket. Hoodies are good on planes.

Lots of variety. Snacks, books, iPad stuff. Put him in the middle seat and entertain him. You'll be fine.

[Snow Pea]

Originally Posted by tapu

I'm not sure what kind of toy this is, and I wouldn't take one that was clearly annoying, but if it just makes a noise or something and people act like they're entitled to sleep through a flight with no disturbances whatsoever, then no, sorry.

What an obnoxious, selfish attitude.

No, people don't think they're "entitled" to sleep through an overnight, transatlantic flight, but they sure HOPE they can. But no, selfish parents like you apparently deliberately bring noisy toys to entertain their kids, and the rest of us be damned, right?

[tapu]

I don't think you're reading all the words. And I meant for the tone of what I said to be less hostile and calmer than your response. I agree that people have every right to expect courtesy from the parents, but not to expect that children on long flights won't occasionally annoy.

[CookingWithGas]

Originally Posted by China Guy

If you do the Benadryl route....

I have heard parents praise this solution. I have heard from the medical profession, "Don't give children Benadryl as a sleep aid" but never heard the rationale. Wouldn't hurt to ask your pediatrician.

[Absolute]

Wake him up real early, and keep him hyperactive, running around the airport, etc., so that he is tired and goes to sleep once on the plane.

[Lochdale]

Thank you for all the advice. All like reading about how other people did get through this! Doctor said no to the Benadryl so we are going o try and tire him out at the airport.

[Tad--]

Originally Posted by tapu

I'm not sure what kind of toy this is, and I wouldn't take one that was clearly annoying, but if it just makes a noise or something and people act like they're entitled to sleep through a flight with no disturbances whatsoever, then no, sorry. Children are in the world, too, and it really does take a village.

I'm very interested to hear your argument that people aren't entitled to not being disturbed. If your kid is crying that's one thing--an annoying thing, but the parent should be expected to deal with it as best they can--but if you're bringing some stupid toy that makes noise and pisses other people off, you'll have to explain your reasoning there. Otherwise, shouldn't I be allowed to play music or something?

[tapu]

I don't think you're reading all the words either. But I don't have a need to debate it. Besides, I'm pretty sure that you and the person before you who was upset about what I said are right in step with the cultural majority.

cheers?

[Snow Pea]

Originally Posted by tapu

I don't think you're reading all the words either.

By stubbornly repeating the very juvenile-sounding phrase "I don't think you're reading all the words" over and over, you sound very much like a bratty toddler yourself.

How about, instead, actually explaining your statement that it's perfectly ok for parents to allow their kids to use annoying, loud toys on board an overnight, transatlantic flight where every single other passenger is desperately hoping to get some sleep?

[China Guy]

Originally Posted by Absolute

Wake him up real early, and keep him hyperactive, running around the airport, etc., so that he is tired and goes to sleep once on the plane.

Absolute - are you a parent? In my experience with 3 kids, the wake up early in order for them to be tired and sleep and backfire spectacularly. You can experience a hyperactive, irrational, raving monster of a child because they are so exhausted.

Absolutely try to physically tire them out before hand. Most airports have children's play areas that are very useful for doing just that. But I wouldn't personally try the sleep deprivation thing.

[overlyverbose]

I took my then 18-month-old son to India and back (13 hours to Bombay; 17 hours back). He was actually great. I was pleasantly surprised, though I was bummed because he only slept 7-8 hours on the plane each way. He also got really upset if he wasn't touching me (human equivalent of a blankie, I suppose), so going to the bathroom was a pain for my husband and nearby passengers if I had to go. We also didn't get him his own seat (my husband didn't want to), which was a mistake - not only would my son have slept much better in his car seat than on me, there is of course the safety issue and the extra room on an international flight.

I think you've got a lot of good suggestions and would absolutely encourage you to use a bottle if possible on takeoff and landing (unless, of course, your child is weaned). One thing I learned on that trip was that you can never tell what will interest your child. I got my son a lot of different toys, which came in handy, but not nearly as handy as used water bottles and straws. My son would spend hours putting the straws in, watching them move around the water bottle, then dumping them out. He was completely uninterested in the videos, but those straws and water bottles fascinated the hell out of him.

[echo7tango]

Takeoff and landing are the crucial times because of the changing air pressure and a child's not being adept at clearing their own ears. If the problem occurs at takeoff and the child stays uncomfortable during most/all of the flight, it's no fun for the child, you, and your plane neighbors. I've seen and heard it. No fun at all.

To help avoid this, time it so the child is hungry during takeoff and landing. Then, give food/snacks that require chewing and swallowing. This will help clear the ears.

You can also pull down gently on his/her ear lobes, which will help equalize the air pressure.

Before the flight, practice with the child to see if s/he can open their mouth as wide as possible. If the child is able to, this is another way to help equalize air pressure during takeoff/landing. (15 months, hmm, the child might be too young for this trick)

Bring small, new and interesting toys/gadgets the child has never ever seen before. If the child is uncomfortable, this is a way to distract them while you try the other things. If the child is fine, keep the toys for if needed at landing, or for the return flight. By "new" that means new to the child, not necessarily brand-new. Something different.

I second the suggestion to use Benadryl as a sleep aid. No, do not try the sleep deprivation, that could backfire badly on you.

I also like the suggestion of handing out foam earplugs with a smile. It's mostly a gimmick, to be sure, but goes a long way in establishing friendly neighbor relations. They're inexpensive, too, at about $4.00 for 10 pair - here is just one example.

Good luck!

[suranyi]

Originally Posted by Snow Pea

By stubbornly repeating the very juvenile-sounding phrase "I don't think you're reading all the words" over and over, you sound very much like a bratty toddler yourself.

How about, instead, actually explaining your statement that it's perfectly ok for parents to allow their kids to use annoying, loud toys on board an overnight, transatlantic flight where every single other passenger is desperately hoping to get some sleep?

That's not what he said, and that's probably why he's annoyed that people have misunderstood him.

[tapu]

Originally Posted by Snow Pea

By stubbornly repeating the very juvenile-sounding phrase "I don't think you're reading all the words" over and over, you sound very much like a bratty toddler yourself.

How about, instead, actually explaining your statement that it's perfectly ok for parents to allow their kids to use annoying, loud toys on board an overnight, transatlantic flight where every single other passenger is desperately hoping to get some sleep?

You're didn't read all the words either. And I see no reason to explain all that when it is covered in my earlier posts. What you say I said is not what I said at all.

Really, let's leave this and return to the OP. I'm not going further into my feelings regarding cultural attitudes about children. And I'm not responding to any more tantrums.

[tapu]

Originally Posted by suranyi

That's not what he said, and that's probably why he's annoyed that people have misunderstood him.

Ogod, thank you. ~tapu (a she)

[TokyoBayer]

We survived the flight to the States. One thing we did was planning on having our toddler get up and move around. We used the back of the plane for that, and I told the flight attendants. They much preferred that than having a crying baby.

Double check the seats, and specifically ask if the car seat can be used. We've had bad experiences with airlines not telling us everything we needed to know about flying with babies and small kids.

Take some Saran wrap and wrap your empty food trays after you are finished so that you can put them on the floor. The airlines take forever to pick up the trays. Or, just carry the trays back.

We got some sponge toys. They're nice because they don't make noise and can be compacted.

Triple the advice about not sleep depriving the poor kid. I also have to assume that was given by a non-parent or someone whose kids were very unusual.

[Lochdale]

Thanks for all the advice guys.

The flight to Ireland went well as we were flying at night and the plane was on time. The little guy slept about five hours on that flight which is great for a car seat.

Thinkgs got trickier on the way back. Flight was delayed two hours so he took his nap in the airport. The lady in front of us moved her seat back right at take off and then complained about our son kicking her seat. My wife pointed out that he just turned 15 months and there wasn't much she could do about it. Lady was not impressed.

I understand her position but she was very nasty about it. Fortunately, I lowered the food tray and that gave the boy some room so he wasn't kicking the seat. He barely slept though so it was a long, stressful flight.

Ipad, toys, food, walking him around and just tag teaming it. Don't know how you can do a flight that long without help and them having their own seat!

[CookingWithGas]

Originally Posted by Lochdale

The lady in front of us moved her seat back right at take off and then complained about our son kicking her seat. My wife pointed out that he just turned 15 months and there wasn't much she could do about it. Lady was not impressed.

One the one hand, I hate having my seat kicked but it's hard to believe a 15-month-old could even reach it for any serious kicking action. Secondly I hate when people put their seat back like that unless it's sleeping time and I have been known to kick a couple of seats myself in that situation.

You did great.

[TokyoBayer]

Originally Posted by Lochdale

I understand her position but she was very nasty about it.

Whenever I run into someone like that, I think to myself that I'm fortunately I'm stuck with emotional underdeveloped person for a few years.

[Mr. Duality]

At the start of a 3 hour flight a toddler behind me kicked my seat a few times. I didn't happen again. At the end I got up and saw the kid laying down ( it was 3 seats to a row) and the Mom sitting forward in her seat to give the kid room to stretch out. The parents had probably taken turns sitting in not-so comfortable positions the entire flight. I should have complimented them on their considerate attitude.

[perfectparanoia]

Originally Posted by Mr. Duality

At the start of a 3 hour flight a toddler behind me kicked my seat a few times. I didn't happen again. At the end I got up and saw the kid laying down ( it was 3 seats to a row) and the Mom sitting forward in her seat to give the kid room to stretch out. The parents had probably taken turns sitting in not-so comfortable positions the entire flight. I should have complimented them on their considerate attitude.

Next time, please do so. When parents work really hard not to disrupt others, a little word of kindness or encouragement from outside can make all the difference.

I once had my kid on time out at disney world (trust me, he earned it). I took the opportunity to have a little cry while he was in the corner. A stranger came up to me, handed me a napkin and said that he was glad to see that we were still maintaining behaviour rules on vacation and that he was sure the day would get better. It did and his words helped that.

[suranyi]

Originally Posted by CookingWithGas

One the one hand, I hate having my seat kicked but it's hard to believe a 15-month-old could even reach it for any serious kicking action. Secondly I hate when people put their seat back like that unless it's sleeping time and I have been known to kick a couple of seats myself in that situation.

You did great.

Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that my 15-month-old could kick the seat in front of hijm -- when he was sitting in his car seat, which propped him much further forward. Those flights were not fun -- he was too young to talk, so he didn't understand commands to stop kicking. If I physically held his feet still, which was the only way to get him to stop, he would start wailing.

[Lochdale]

Originally Posted by suranyi

Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that my 15-month-old could kick the seat in front of hijm -- when he was sitting in his car seat, which propped him much further forward. Those flights were not fun -- he was too young to talk, so he didn't understand commands to stop kicking. If I physically held his feet still, which was the only way to get him to stop, he would start wailing.

My son could kick the seat but not with much force. She pushed her seat back right away which cramped his little legs. Fortunately putting the tray table down helped. Not to judge but she really wasn't a pleasant individual.

[CookingWithGas]

Originally Posted by suranyi

...he was too young to talk, so he didn't understand commands to stop kicking. If I physically held his feet still, which was the only way to get him to stop, he would start wailing.

I sympathize with that situation. I do want to mention that just because kids are too young to talk (I have two, teenagers now) they are not too young to understand commands. At 15 months they understand quite a bit. I suppose yours was just ignoring you.

[Mama Zappa]

We very rarely flew with the kids when they were young, and not anything like that long: but if there's any way to get bulkhead seats, do that. A little more legroom, plus there's no seat in front for him to kick or pull on. The downside is you can't put stuff under the seat in front of you, so you have to put it in overhead storage.

I wonder if a fabric sleep mask might be good - especially in the middle section, you can't really isolate him from the rest of the cabin the way you could if he's in, say, a window seat. Maybe make up a game where this his magic sleepytime mask.

Headphones: might the larger style (vs. earbuds etc.) be a good choice? It would help isolate the ambient noise so he could hear his own music etc. and not be disturbed by people talking.

Heh: just realized, the trip in question was weeks ago. Off to read the rest of the thread to see how you survived!!