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| View Poll Results: Should the sexual age limit for men be 16? | |||
| Yes - I'm a guy |
   
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37 | 27.21% |
| No - I'm a guy |
  
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50 | 36.76% |
| Yes - I'm a woman |
  
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15 | 11.03% |
| No - I'm a woman |
  
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17 | 12.50% |
| Other |
  
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17 | 12.50% |
| Voters: 136. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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#1
10-09-2012, 10:40 AM
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Should we prosecute women for shagging 16 and 17 year old men?
Lately there's been a lot of teachers in the news for underage sex. I think its a huge waste of court time and an unnecessary punishment.
Sex with men is different then it is with women. Obviously guys don't get pregnant. Also guys aren't nearly as sentimental about sex. A 16 year old girl just reacts more strongly to a love affair. She's really in love and vulnerable. To put it crudely, sex for young guys is one step above masturbating. It wasn't that long ago that some fathers took their sons to prostitutes. Learn how its done. No woman wants a clumsy inexperienced lover that will prematurely ejaculate before he even gets it in. Guys are expected to know how to please a woman. It takes experience. Whats says the great and wise SDMB? Should the sexual age limit for men be 16? This is just one typical example. The man was 17 and woman 27. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ng-guilty.html Last edited by aceplace57; 10-09-2012 at 10:44 AM. 
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#2
10-09-2012, 10:49 AM
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It's statutory rape. It's about a line the law has drawn to say that "from age X downward, a person does not have the cognitive ability to understand their actions with regards to sex and sexual relations." It's about protecting the minor child from being taken advantage of. Yes, even if some of those kids really really want it and some of those kids will not, in retrospect, have emotional damage that results from the actions of the adult.
It has nothing to do with whether a person gets pregnant or the sentimentality of the actors involved in it.
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#3
10-09-2012, 10:49 AM
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There are several different issues you have going on there. Let me say this - No matter the gender or age, sex between teachers and students is always a problem for very simple reasons. A teacher cant accurately assess a student's performance if they are having sex with them... And even one can claim they can, they are an exception, not the rule.
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#4
10-09-2012, 10:51 AM
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By the way, your poll is a pretty stupid question. First of all, the point of your OP is that boys and girls are different, which isn't even hinted at in your poll.
Second, about half the states ALREADY have statutory age limits of 16...for boys and girls. Heck, some have it at 14 (which is ridiculous, IMHO, but there you go). ETA: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of...ica#State_laws Also, it appears the ones who had it at 14 have since changed it according to this link. Last edited by Enderw24; 10-09-2012 at 10:55 AM.
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#5
10-09-2012, 10:53 AM
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I think there should be no statuatory rape as it's currently defined (although the definition has improved over the years with Romeo&Juliet exceptions). Below a certain age, which is not 18, consent is impossible. However the idea of having sex with someone a reasonable person cannot determine is underage is a problem, as well presuming that 16 and 17 year olds cannot consent. I wouldn't weaken the laws much, but remove cases where consent is clear to a reasonable person.
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#6
10-09-2012, 11:00 AM
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Traditionally women weren't prosecuted for sleeping with younger guys. It may have been technically illegal but it just wasn't prosecuted.
That changed in the 80's. Equal treatment for both sexes. Even though the issue of pregnancy is so obvious for women. No parent wants their teen girl knocked up. It's the parents that will have the burden of raising that baby. Thats why its illegal for adults to sleep with a teen girl. Plus you don't want some 25 year old jerk with a shiny car seducing and marrying your teen daughter. It can wreck her life before it even gets started. It's totally different for men. Young guys just aren't as sentimental. I certainly wasn't interested in marriage until years after college. Last edited by aceplace57; 10-09-2012 at 11:03 AM.
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#7
10-09-2012, 11:01 AM
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#9
10-09-2012, 11:07 AM
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#10
10-09-2012, 11:17 AM
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Yes. We should only prosecute ugly women who sleep with little boys.
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#11
10-09-2012, 11:23 AM
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And more to the point, if someone steals 20 dollars from me, even if I'm ok with the theft, it doesn't make it right.
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#12
10-09-2012, 11:27 AM
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OP: What if the adult and the 16-year-old were both male?
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#13
10-09-2012, 11:28 AM
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Teachers are in an unequal power relationship with their pupils, and pupils are susceptible to coercian because of it, that is why it is wrong. That is why a teacher in the UK can be prosecuted for sleeping with an 18 year old pupil, despite our age of consent being 16.
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#15
10-09-2012, 12:20 PM
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The problem isn't with the ages, it's with the power/authority differential. The age of consent in many states is already 16 or lower, so that's not going to fix the problem. I think it's wrong for teachers to have sex with students, no matter if the student was 18 and the teacher was 22. That is a perfectly allowable age gap for 2 college students. But the fact that one is a teacher means there's an authority gap. Professionals should know better than to shit where they eat.
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#16
10-09-2012, 12:34 PM
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A lot of people in this thread are zeroing in on student-teacher relationships. I think that may not have been the OP's intended focus of discussion. FWIW, those sorts of relationships are a bad idea even when both parties are consenting results, e.g. a college student sleeping with his or her professor.
So what about relationships with no official superior-subordinate status like that? What if a minor child is getting it on with his friend's mom or dad?
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#17
10-09-2012, 12:39 PM
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#18
10-09-2012, 12:40 PM
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I got bagged by a lady I was babysitting for when I was about 14, I think she was about 36. Looking back on it I think it may have changed the way I became attracted to woman. I was always attracted to older mature woman, most of the women I found myself attracted to were very similar to her in a lot of ways. I quickly became disenchanted with girls my own age and found myself hanging out in bars that didn't question my ID several years before I was legal to drink. Not aware then but looking back I think it did have negative affects on how my life progressed.
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#19
10-09-2012, 12:53 PM
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Relationships with an unequal power dynamic are always questionable. A teacher-student relationship is clearly a no-no, no matter who is involved. It's not even okay for university professors to sleep with their grad students. You don't sleep with people you have that much power over.
The essentialism here is nuts. Plenty of teenage boys have wrecked their life mooning after a girl. Plenty of teenage girls have sex without any emotional attachment. Both boys and girls contribute to pregnancies, and both boys and girls have mechanisms available to them to prevent pregnancy. Both boys and girls can contract life-altering STDs, especially if they are convinced not to use a condom. Sex is a good thing, but it needs to be entered into freely, without pressure, for mutual enjoyment. Statutory rape laws are not about protecting sweet girls from being knocked up or having their feelings hurt. It's about not allowing sexual predators to have sex with kids. Nobody should having sex with kids. Nobody should be having sex with their students.
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#22
10-09-2012, 01:04 PM
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I just don't buy that for young men sex is only above masturbating. It may be the case for some or even many young men, but I have seen many young men broken hearted and wrecked over a young woman, and she is the one who couldn't care less.
Generalizations never work. (ha!)
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#23
10-09-2012, 01:10 PM
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#24
10-09-2012, 02:02 PM
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Whatever the age, it should be the same for males and females, gay or straight.
And I agree, that sex between a teacher and his/her student should be illegal. (Though I'd give anything to have had an affair with Mr. D., my 8th grade math teacher.)
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#25
10-09-2012, 02:51 PM
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I chose other for several reasons. Primarily, I think that teachers should be banned from having sex with their students.
It might be true that guys aren't as sentimental about sex, but, at a young age, they might also be less aware of the differences; they might not realize that what's a step above masturbation for them might be more impactful on their partner. I also imagined what the situation would be like if the sexual relationship were homosexual. Would it be alright for a 27 year old man or woman to have sex with a gay 17 year old?
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#26
10-09-2012, 03:30 PM
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That shouldn't make any difference, right aceplace?
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#27
10-09-2012, 03:52 PM
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My trouble with it is that teacher/student sex is a felony. A "spend 5 years in the clink for one night of sex with someone over 18 years old" type felony.
Lose your job, sure. Maybe get probation... but multiple years in jail for having consensual sex with someone capable of giving consent? That's just nuts.
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#28
10-09-2012, 04:03 PM
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#29
10-09-2012, 04:09 PM
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#30
10-09-2012, 04:11 PM
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#31
10-09-2012, 04:14 PM
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Your poll is foolish because it assumes the age of consent to be 18, which is very high by world standards.
I also think that if anything the age of consent for a female teacher/male pupil relationship should be lower than that of normal relationships on the basis the woman is far less likely to be being a predatory cougar. I wouldn't have a problem with letting women teachers sleep with fourteen year old boys in principle.
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#32
10-09-2012, 04:17 PM
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Last edited by Skald the Rhymer; 10-09-2012 at 04:18 PM.
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#34
10-09-2012, 04:25 PM
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#35
10-09-2012, 04:31 PM
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#36
10-09-2012, 04:34 PM
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As a parent I answer this differently than I might have as a young man without children. I guess my chief concern, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, is how psychologically messed up the older adult often is in these cases. I would want neither my daughter nor my son involved with any of them.
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#37
10-09-2012, 04:53 PM
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Somewhat poorly constructed poll. The question in the poll is the reverse of the question in the title. I almost voted the wrong way...
(Yeah, yeah, I know: read it more carefully. Still... "Butterfly Ballot" and all.)
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#38
10-09-2012, 04:55 PM
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#39
10-09-2012, 04:55 PM
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Sex with underage children is still wrong no matter the genders involved. MM, MF, FM, MMMMMFFMMFFFMFMFMFMFMF It doesn't matter.
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#40
10-09-2012, 04:57 PM
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#41
10-09-2012, 05:02 PM
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#42
10-09-2012, 05:09 PM
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#43
10-09-2012, 06:14 PM
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It makes no difference to me what the lady looks like. If they can get a 16 or 17 year old interested then go for it. Most 16 year olds get stiff when the wind blows.
 Raging hormones are to blame. I met a 33 year old lady when I was a sophomore in college. I owe her so much for teaching me about sex. I was a typical naive 19 year old with only one previous high school gf. I knew nothing about giving massages, foreplay, cunnilingus or even pacing myself during intercourse. 3 mins and I was done. Thank goodness she was patient and got me clued in. We shared an apartment for my senior year and she was a junior that had returned to finish her degree. I had learned a lot by the time I met my wife. Sex was one thing we didn't have to figure out.  We had enough marriage stress with careers, getting our first mortgage, having kids and raising them.Quote:
Last edited by aceplace57; 10-09-2012 at 06:18 PM.
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#44
10-09-2012, 06:23 PM
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People should have sex when they want to have sex, as long as it's with other people who also want to have sex. This prudish approach to how sex should be disseminated* is what's cocking it up* for us all. If we were properly brought up about the hows and whys of sex instead of treating it as precious and sacred, or dirty and crude, we'd go into it* properly informed and more careful.
Same with drinking alcohol, really. *Puns not intended. Honest.
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#45
10-09-2012, 06:58 PM
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The point about the female teacher / male student thing is that if it happened it would be extraordinarily unlikely to be abusive at that age. Furthermore, it would be very unlikely that the female teacher was a pedarest who had gone into teaching to abuse boys. It would just be something that happened. Either two circumstances happen - it lasts a long time, or it doesn't. In the former, then there is a stable relationship that the state shuldn't interefere with, and indeed I believe this has occurred with some of the most famous female teacher "predators". In the latter case, it's basically teaching the young lad how to be a better lover. Had FEMALE teachers come on to me as a fourteen year old, if I wanted to fuck them then I would have done and if I didn't then I'd have blackmailed them for their job. We should all be so lucky! I find it implausible that female teachers will be seeking out vulnerable boys who would actually be damaged by sex. Last edited by Simple Linctus; 10-09-2012 at 07:01 PM. Reason: add reality
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#46
10-09-2012, 07:30 PM
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I'm not sure why you are playing semantics over the "paedo" vs "molester" tag, it amounts to the same thing (unless you're one of those "ephebophile" pedants). Savile used his position of authority to abuse girls and a teacher who sleeps with their pupils is using their authority to abuse those children. Last edited by Szlater; 10-09-2012 at 07:30 PM.
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#47
10-09-2012, 07:32 PM
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#48
10-09-2012, 07:37 PM
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The point is not that an older woman is having sex with a younger boy. If both parties are above the age of consent, sure, go in with all flags flying.
It's the fact that TEACHERS SHOULD NOT BE SLEEPING WITH THEIR STUDENTS. At all. There is too much power differential there. There is too much opportunity for one to unduly influence the other. You cannot just remove the power balance and say it's just sex, because the whole damn reason the two parties know each other is because of the teacher-student relationship. No teacher can fairly grade a student whom he or she is sleeping with. Universities prohibit teacher-student relationships for this very same reason, even when university students are above the age of consent, and in the case of grad students, may be the same age as the prof.
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#49
10-09-2012, 07:49 PM
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#50
10-09-2012, 07:52 PM
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An imbalance in the power relationship opens up someone, even above the age of consent, to coercion, which means that consent is put in doubt. So, yes, it may well be rape.
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