Help me get rid of the jerk in our basement

[ThreadPirateRoberts]

So, this guy has lived in my boyfriend's parent's basement. He has never paid rent, but is supposed to do all of the maintenance on the vehicles. The car that I'm supposed to be using to learn how to drive in has been sitting in the driveway for 6 months with a cracked master cylinder.He also is consistently disrespecting BF and I. BF's Dad has attempted to kick basement troll out on more than one occasion in the last year and it never actually happens. He frequently comes up with elaborate schemes to get rid of him (including wanting me to goad him into hitting me so I can call the cops and get him removed for domestic violence)because he is too timid to actually go through with kicking this guy to the curb. Basement Dweller also abuses narcotic drugs in our home and lies about it and uses our vehicles to go peddle his drugs but BF's Dad won't call the cops in those instances because we can't afford to have a vehicle impounded. His dad has since tasked BF and I with coming up with a master plan for getting rid of him but we are too emotionally

Please, advice would be greatly appreciated.

[yanceylebeef]

Wait til he's out and change the locks.

[StGermain]

Move out of your boyfriend's parents' house and let them live with the consequences of their decision?

Really, what's the problem. The parents need to man up, give the guy a week to get out, then change the locks.

StG

[Little Nemo]

It's a pretty simple procedure.

1. Tell him to leave.
2. Call the police if he doesn't do it.

[tdn]

Step 1: Dad grows balls

[Kimballkid]

I'm a little confused, how did the guy get in the basement in the first place? Is he a friend, relative, random homeless guy off the street?

[Lanzy]

Was he there when you moved in? Is he like a legacy troll? I don't think you need help, your dad does. Would you like to hire me to get him out? The police should do it for free if you want to save money.

[ThreadPirateRoberts]

Originally Posted by Kimballkid

I'm a little confused, how did the guy get in the basement in the first place? Is he a friend, relative, random homeless guy off the street?

He is a friend of BF's Dad. But in this particular case, the word friend is used very lightly.

[Euphonious Polemic]

Tell BF's dad that you will not associate with drug abusers. Tell him you are going to look after yourself. BF and you should tell dad that he needs to deal with this problem himself like a big boy. Explain to him using very small words whose problem it is (his, not yours).

Move out. Tell BF's dad to call you when drug abusing non-rent paying jerk is gone. Make it clear to BF's dad that you will have nothing to do with him whatsoever until jerk is gone. Do not talk to BF's dad until that time - be firm.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic

Tell BF's dad that you will not associate with drug abusers. Tell him you are going to look after yourself. BF and you should tell dad that he needs to deal with this problem himself like a big boy. Explain to him using very small words whose problem it is (his, not yours).

That's one way. Another is to support the dad and be physically by his side while he evicts the guy. Offer to help the guy to find a place. Make sure he does. In other words, help the guy right out of there.

[Amateur Barbarian]

Is the troll particularly scary? Large, threatening, violent, or the kind who will "get even" in ways from dumping garbage on the lawn to burning the house down?

[Euphonious Polemic]

Originally Posted by tdn

That's one way. Another is to support the dad and be physically by his side while he evicts the guy. Offer to help the guy to find a place. Make sure he does. In other words, help the guy right out of there.

That's a good idea too. But the key is that the dad has to do it himself. This passive bullshit of getting someone else to do it for him just will not work.

[tim-n-va]

IANAL but I have read internet message boards. In many jurisdictions you can't just kick someone out, you have to give them notice. Rent or no is not an issue, that is his current residence. Written notice, then the police will "help".

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic

That's a good idea too. But the key is that the dad has to do it himself. This passive bullshit of getting someone else to do it for him just will not work.

That's very true. But some people need support. If he knows that his family is on his side, that may give him the strength he needs. Being left alone to do an unpleasant task can be daunting.

There's no shame in asking for help.

[twickster]

Moved from MPSIMS to our advice forum, IMHO.

[Cat Whisperer]

Sell the house, then move out without telling him where you're all going.

[LurkerInNJ]

You need a lawyer, not a message board. This is a civil matter and the police won't get involved as he did not wander in off the street. He was asked to live there in a formal arrangement. The police do not mediate business disputes.

Do not listen to anyone who tells you to change the locks or throw him out. Rent or no rent, he was given the right to live there and your boyfriend's father has to follow the law in order to get him out. It may involve a formal eviction or an ejectment action in court. Doing this yourself could get you (meaning boyfriends father) in legal hot water. See a lawyer and do it the legal and proper way.

As an aside ... What kind of fucked up reality are you living in where you have a boyfriend whose father wants you to goad an adult male into hitting you, a teenage girl? Perhaps you should think about leaving also.

Since boyfriends father has such off the wall suggestions, perhaps you should consider the possibility that he isn't telling you the whole truth about this "arrangement". Just a thought.

[SeaDragonTattoo]

The OP's not a teenager, she's 25.

Even without a lease and without paying rent, this guy has an established residence in the house. If a simple, "dude, you need to find somewhere else to live," won't work, then you have to go through formal, legal procedures to get him out permanently and legally. I agree that consulting with a lawyer at this point is the way to go. It will start with a 30 or 60 day notice, whichever is the shortest legal notice available in your area. If he doesn't leave by the end of the notice, then legal eviction can take place. A lawyer is the person who can get all the documentation in order and help you file in court if needed.

[LurkerInNJ]

Originally Posted by SeaDragonTattoo

The OP's not a teenager, she's 25.

Oh, then I guess it's ok then, as long as she's 25. That makes it not fucked up at all

[Audrey Levins]

Originally Posted by LurkerInNJ

Oh, then I guess it's ok then, as long as she's 25. That makes it not fucked up at all

i assumed she was a teenager too, because of the learning to drive thing.

Friends of mine are going thru something similar to this; Mom passed away and her boyfriend refuses to leave her house. Cops said he is a resident and he has to be formally evicted, regardless of the fact that he has no actual legal claim to the house or anything inside it.

So my friends are moving everything out of her house of any value, because he's pretty shady, and contacting a lawyer to get him out.

[VOW]

Schedule an exterminator to tent the house, then change the locks immediately after access is allowed.

Seriously, there will have to be a formal eviction. If the guy is dealing drugs, though, call the cops and grant permission to search the premises.


~VOW

[gotpasswords]

Originally Posted by tim-n-va

IANAL but I have read internet message boards. In many jurisdictions you can't just kick someone out, you have to give them notice. Rent or no is not an issue, that is his current residence. Written notice, then the police will "help".

Seconded. By tolerating them for more than a month or so, your father has probably unwittingly turned Jerk into a tenant, and now Jerk has all of the normal rights of a tenant, so your father can't just chuck Jerk out, and will need to serve eviction papers.

At the very least, your father should check with the local police if they can offer any advice on getting rid of a squatter, and maybe checking with a landlord-tenant attorney wouldn't be such a bad idea. Best case scenario, he can change the locks and put Jerk's stuff outside, but if the guy has rights as a tenant, a "self-help" eviction could result in your father being sued by Jerk for an illegal eviction.

[AuntiePam]

I went through this several years ago and yeah, your BF's dad will need a lawyer.

In my situation, I talked to a lawyer and the lawyer sent the Jerk a letter requesting that he leave within 30 days or formal eviction proceedings would begin. The letter was enough of an incentive and the Jerk left. It was considerably cheaper than going straight to court with an eviction. Some folks are impressed by letterhead stationery -- maybe the Jerk in your BF's dad's basement will be impressed too.

So suggest to BF's dad that he try that route, if he can find a lawyer who will agree to do it.

[DataX]

Originally Posted by VOW

Schedule an exterminator to tent the house, then change the locks immediately after access is allowed.

Seriously, there will have to be a formal eviction. If the guy is dealing drugs, though, call the cops and grant permission to search the premises.


~VOW

FWIW - technically he still has the right to privacy for his areas/rooms. They can only legally give consent for common areas or their own rooms.

I still think it is a good idea. It isn't like HE would know any of that and police would probably scare him. Only problem is if boyfriends dad won't kick him out - will he really call the cops on him.

[Der Trihs]

INAL, but I'd be worried about calling in the cops with drugs involved; they might arrest Dad for knowing about it, or grab the whole house under forfeiture laws.

[Beastly Rotter]

I suggest wacky misunderstandings. Ask your parents over for an elaborate formal dinner, and then tell them that the guy in the basement is the Crown Prince of Bulungi in order to impress them.

[kayaker]

If the basement has a dirt floor, I've got an idea. PM me.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

He's no jerk. He's a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house.

[PunditLisa]

Originally Posted by 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast

He's no jerk. He's a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house.

Okay, this cracked me up.

Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said "our house," I stupidly assumed it was the OPer's house. In reality, it's her boyfriend's parent's house.

Short advice: Not your house, not your problem.
Longer advice: Your "master plan" should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice.
Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people.

[gracer]

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said "our house," I stupidly assumed it was the OPer's house. In reality, it's her boyfriend's parent's house.

And it didn't end there. Was the guy ever actually asked to leave? Were any hints he is not welcome dropped? What is the OP's reaction the FIL's outrageous idea of her letting the basement dweller hit her? What does the boyfriend say to all of this? And the mother?

And.... "we are too emotionally" WHAT? Too emotionally dysfunctional to ask someone who outstayed their welcome to leave?

Yes, you might need to go with formal eviction. But have you tried....just asking?!

[Siam Sam]

Flood the basement with water.

[kayaker]

Invite him on a family trip. Five hours from home, pull off the turnpike at a rest stop. While he pees, everyone pile back in the car and head home. Change the locks.

[Foxy40]

I am on the side of the people that are more concerned about you than this tenant. Suggesting you get hit is beyond screwed up. Move out and get away from this family before you get seriously hurt.

As far as the tenant, if you really care, go to the local courthouse and ask for the paperwork to evict someone. Obviously this family can't afford a lawyer if they can't afford to call the police when the guy "borrows" their car. It can be done without a lawyer for a fee that varies by counties. They will give you the information at the courthouse.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by gracer

But have you tried....just asking?!

Seriously.

Put yourself in the jerk's shoes. If I was living somewhere that I had overstayed my welcome, I would expect to be talked to about it. I wouldn't like it, but I'd make plans to find new arrangements and hopefully stay friends. If I found out that my housemates went behind my back to have cops forcefully evict me, or have a lawyer draw up an eviction notice, or bug-bomb the place while I was still at home, I'd resent the fuck out of them. And I'd retaliate with legal action. Because that would make them the bad guys.

Just. ASK.

[elbows]

Escort your BF Dad to the county office to acquire the paperwork to evict. Then everyone else in the house, as a united group, meets with deadbeat, serves the eviction paperwork and tells him, in no uncertain terms, to be out by...specified date.

Prior to the set date, acquire boxes etc. On or after the date, when he leaves the house, and together as a unit, get the locksmith in(you could arrange something in advance I expect!), and change the locks.

Pack everything he owns into the boxes, put them in the garage. If he turns up and won't leave when asked, call the police so they can witness you (again, as a united group!), giving him access to his things. Never trust your BF Dad to accomplish anything alone, he can't do it, don't expect him to. Plus, always have a witness in your dealing with the basement dweller. Always.

Depending on your county it may be 30, 60, or 90 days, but that time is going to pass anyway, it's just a case of filling out the paperwork. (Way cheaper than a lawyer or an impounded car, how will he secure his cars if the guy has keys? You need to think about things like this!) Then wait for the time to pass.

Most importantly your BF Dad isn't going to change his stripes into a guy with a spine. Do not let him drag you into his idiocy. But maybe offer to be his spine, hold his hand through each step, be at his side. You should make it clear though, if he fails to deliver or makes excuses, you're out.

Goading a drug user is the very height of stupidity. Please, be smarter than you BF Dad!

[bup]

Everybody in the family hide in the bushes. Then one person ring the bell, and run and hide again.

Then when he answers the door, nobody's there, and...no, I guess that won't really help. Still, it'll be a good burn.

[DrDeth]

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Okay, this cracked me up.

Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said "our house," I stupidly assumed it was the OPer's house. In reality, it's her boyfriend's parent's house.

Short advice: Not your house, not your problem.
Longer advice: Your "master plan" should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice.
Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people.

Exactly. OP, it is no more “your” house than it is his. Butt out. You’re a guest also.

[Muffin]

One of the many fine fee-for-services that some bike gangs have been known to offer is to temporarily move into buildings where the landlord is having difficulty persuading tenants to leave.

[Muffin]

Send in some anon reports to Homeland Security, then give him a plane ticket. Remember: rendition is your friend.

[April R]

Move out and get your own place together. It sounds like it is dad's house and you all all staying with him. It's a bad, trashy situation to begin with. Grow up and move out and let dad take care of his own problems

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by AuntiePam

I went through this several years ago and yeah, your BF's dad will need a lawyer.

In my situation, I talked to a lawyer and the lawyer sent the Jerk a letter requesting that he leave within 30 days or formal eviction proceedings would begin. The letter was enough of an incentive and the Jerk left. It was considerably cheaper than going straight to court with an eviction. Some folks are impressed by letterhead stationery -- maybe the Jerk in your BF's dad's basement will be impressed too.

So suggest to BF's dad that he try that route, if he can find a lawyer who will agree to do it.

That's a very good idea. This way there is no question about in his mind about whether he's welcome any longer or not.

Originally Posted by 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast

He's no jerk. He's a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house.

Well, there's that.

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Okay, this cracked me up.

Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said "our house," I stupidly assumed it was the OPer's house. In reality, it's her boyfriend's parent's house.

Short advice: Not your house, not your problem.
Longer advice: Your "master plan" should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice.
Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people.

This is good advice.

Originally Posted by Siam Sam

Flood the basement with water.

This probably isn't good advice, but it might be fun.

Originally Posted by April R

Move out and get your own place together. It sounds like it is dad's house and you all all staying with him. It's a bad, trashy situation to begin with. Grow up and move out and let dad take care of his own problems

This too.

[Morgenstern]

Flood the basement.

[PunditLisa]

Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer's first thread. I think we've all been whooshed.

[Furious_Marmot]

Seconding, thirding, etc. "Dad needs to begin eviction procedings, not your problem, and most importantly ypu should run screaming from these trashy people."

But much more importantly:
What the hell kind of motor fleet does the old man own that it would make sense to exchange free rent for mechanic work? Even my old 92 Ford POS didn't run up repair bills exceeding the rent.

[SeaDragonTattoo]

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer's first thread. I think we've all been whooshed.

?? I see 16 threads started by the OP since 2006, and a total of 135 posts.

[Furious_Marmot]

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer's first thread. I think we've all been whooshed.

Oh shit. The troll escaped from the basement.

[gracer]

Originally Posted by PunditLisa

Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer's first thread. I think we've all been whooshed.

Huh? No, she has started other threads in the past, incl. one about her aunt passing away.

She's also been posting for 6 years and has 135 posts. It's a strange situation, but I think it's an honest question.

ETA: should've refreshed the thread since opening it a while ago.

[Sanity Challenged]

Originally Posted by Morgenstern

Flood the basement.

But then the uncle's best friend's neighbor's cousin's cat won't be able to get to its litter box!

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Sanity Challenged

But then the uncle's best friend's neighbor's cousin's cat won't be able to get to its litter box!

That's easy. Put the litter box on stilts.

[PunditLisa]

Originally Posted by gracer

Huh? No, she has started other threads in the past, incl. one about her aunt passing away.

Whoops. I stand corrected.