The Griswold Family Christmas Thread

[joebuck20]

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

So, you about ready to do some kissin'?

[Covered_In_Bees!]

I say this every single year and this year won't be any different: Aunt Bethany and Uncle Louis steal this movie.

Almost every single thing they say is hilarious and or quotable. This is true for a lot of the characters in the movie though I will admit, great movie.

[LVBoPeep]

I admit to scrolling through my sat. TV guide daily in search of this movie from Thanksgiving until January 1st. No luck yet...

[standingwave]

Originally Posted by joebuck20

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

So, you about ready to do some kissin'?

There are bunch of things we look for every year....

Aunt Bethany's presents wrapped with birthday paper.

When the power company needs to boost their output to handle Clark's lights there's a close-up of a guy flipping the switch. 'Auxiliary' is misspelled.

Just before Eddie surprises Clark, there's an overhead shot of the house when they are in the yard looking at the lights, Eddie's RV is already parked there. A nice touch.

Cousin Eddie's dickey and the "Marty Moose" eggnog glasses (which can be purchased btw.)

Cousin Eddie crushing the light bulbs with the bag of dog food at Wal-Mart.

"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah...."

"Oh, the silent majesty of a winters morn, the cool chill of the holiday air. An asshole in a bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewers..."

Listening to the newscasters from the parade on TV in the background during the grandpas' nap-time. Some funny stuff there.

Cousin Catherine wearing mistletoe as a brooch just above her left breast.

During the Christmas dinner Ellen is pretending to eat but is actually flinging her food over her shoulder.

Ellen throwing her glass into a shrub in disgust when Clark is in the front yard getting ready to cut down the tree.

Uncle Lewis holding his toupee over his heart like a hat when Aunt Bethany starts singing the national anthem.

[handsomeharry]

Cat under the chair.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

[filmore]

In case anyone would like to read the original source material, Vacation and Christmas Vacation were both based on short stories written by John Hughes for National Lampoon magazine. The European/Vegas movies were Hollywood creations.

Vacation '58 and Christmas '59.

[Mr Downtown]

The sled sprayed with the non-nutritive cereal varnish.

[VOW]

Watching old home movies in the unheated attic while wearing a feather boa for warmth.


~VOW

[yanceylebeef]

Shitters Full!

[TriPolar]

Chevy Chase, Beveraly D'Angelo, and Juliette Lewis are currently appearing in an Old Navy commercial based on the movie. I usually forget this, Johnny Galecki had an early role as Rusty in this one.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by joebuck20

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Saw the Old Navy commercial, did you?

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by LVBoPeep

I admit to scrolling through my sat. TV guide daily in search of this movie from Thanksgiving until January 1st. No luck yet...

ABC Family tonight at 8 and reapeated six more times until the 25th.

[LVBoPeep]

Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher

ABC Family tonight at 8 and reapeated six more times until the 25th.

Thank you and ...I don't mean to sound ungrateful but will this be the uncensored version? Because it doesn't have the same Christmas spirit without the profanity ....

[Satchmo]

Originally Posted by handsomeharry

Cat under the chair.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Bend over and I'll show you.

You can't talk to me like that!

I wasn't talking to you.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally Posted by LVBoPeep

I don't mean to sound ungrateful but will this be the uncensored version?

It's ABC Family, the channel that changed "Kansas City faggots" to "Kansas City horses".

[Typo Negative]

One of the only movies that made my Grandmother guffaw. Before that, I didn't think she had it in her.

[joebuck20]

Originally Posted by LVBoPeep

Thank you and ...I don't mean to sound ungrateful but will this be the uncensored version? Because it doesn't have the same Christmas spirit without the profanity ....

No shit.

[Barkis is Willin']

I like that Clark is going for the amateur land speed record on a sled, then says, "don't try this at home, I am a professional."

[standingwave]

Originally Posted by Barkis is Willin'

I like that Clark is going for the amateur land speed record on a sled, then says, "don't try this at home, I am a professional."

"Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber."

[Lute Skywatcher]

Those who have Comcast, it's available On Demand for three bucks.

[Mooch]

Originally Posted by yanceylebeef

Shitters Full!

Honey, checked our shitters lately?

The tuba version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that is played in that scene is so goddamned funny! I have tried in vain to find it but, oh no. Not to be.

That version of the song is exactly what plays in my head when I am hungover Xmas mornings.

[Battle Pope]

We watch this every Christmas Eve.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Best rant ever.

[VOW]

Originally Posted by Battle Pope

We watch this every Christmas Eve.



Best rant ever.

Nah, the one by Major Charles Emerson Winchester, the Third, when he tells Colonel Potter he must leave this "festering, fetid sewer" ranks up there with the best of rants!


~VOW

[BoBettie]

Originally Posted by Mooch

Honey, checked our shitters lately?

The tuba version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that is played in that scene is so goddamned funny! I have tried in vain to find it but, oh no. Not to be.

That version of the song is exactly what plays in my head when I am hungover Xmas mornings.

The song is on the soundtrack with the title "Shitter Was Full". You're welcome!

[jnglmassiv]

Hilarious!
I watched it again last night. I do love this movie. I had tears in my eyes for much of it, even the lame ABC Family edited version. There are so many great scenes.

"Sweetheart, your grandma Nora's got a real painful burr on my heel. If you rub it for me, I'll give you a whole quarter. Okay?"

Clark climbing the ladder and hanging the lights.

Clark actually got everyone drumrolling during the failed lighting ceremony.

The hysterical swinging window in the attic that hits Clark's head when hit hits it. Bumbling dad move.

Grandma: Oh my gosh, her eys aren't crossed anymore.
Eddie: That's something ain't it? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don't know.

I had to leave the room for the awkward tit nippley scene, I was laughing so hard. And no one else is here! Chevy masters this part and now it has entered our national lexicon.

The animated opening credit sequence is dumb and the drive to the tree place is kinda dumb, too.

[joebuck20]

Originally Posted by Battle Pope

We watch this every Christmas Eve.

Best rant ever.

This is one of the things I love about this movie - that it takes place in a world where denying a Christmas bonus is considered a faux pas beneath even the stingiest of bosses.

And where being denied a Christmas bonus is apparently a legitimate reason to beat your boss with a rubber hose.

[Toxgoddess]

"Look, kids, a deer!" as Clark is flipping off another driver. We have a lot of deer in our area. We say this a lot on the road.

We also watch this every Christmas Eve. Right after church. Amen!

[Chefguy]

Clark getting smacked in the face with the attic ladder.

Clark falling from the attic when the door is opened.

Classic Chase slapstick.

[Guinastasia]

My family and I can pretty much quote the entire movie. My cousin even has a Cousin-Eddie Santa Claus hat. My uncle also has a set of the moose glasses.

"Aunt Bethany, does your cat eat jello?"

"Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous because Christmas is almost here."
"Nervous or excited?"
"Shittin' bricks."
"You shouldn't use that word."
"Sorry. Shittin' rocks."

"They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour."

"Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?"
"Bend over and I'll show you."
"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold."
"I wasn't talking to you."

"Get me someone. Anyone! And get me someone while I'm waiting!"

"Surprised Eddie?... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

(When I was in high school, they always showed a movie in the auditorium on the last day of school before well, Christmas vacation. This was the one they showed when I as a freshman)

Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher

It's ABC Family, the channel that changed "Kansas City faggots" to "Kansas City horses".

Try and catch it on Comedy Central. They out the muffle the swears, which isn't the same, but it's better than substituting them.

[Hazle Weatherfield]

Clark: My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...
Eddie: I appreciate that, Clark

[GuanoLad]

Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher

Saw the Old Navy commercial, did you?

Better version. Narrated by Martin Short.

[joebuck20]

Originally Posted by Mooch

Honey, checked our shitters lately?

The tuba version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that is played in that scene is so goddamned funny! I have tried in vain to find it but, oh no. Not to be.

That version of the song is exactly what plays in my head when I am hungover Xmas mornings.

I also love the sad little rendition of Come All Ye Faithful that plays as the family is driving away with the Christmas tree, roots and all, strapped to the roof of their station wagon.

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

I always look forward to the dry-turkey eating scene; just watching everyone's faces as they try to chew it gets me every time.


mmm

[joebuck20]

Just watched this last night on ABC Family. I love the look of dread that comes over Ellen's face when Clark tells her that his "bonus" is a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. She knows that he's about to lose his shit, and that it's going to be really ugly.