I pit bartenders who do not know how to properly pour a pint of Guinness.

[skdo23]

Is it really that hard?

[digs]

Seems to be, for one of our Irish pubs. Same pub (same name, same owners, presumably same beer) a couple of blocks over does it perfectly... not sure what the issues are at "my" pub. It's the one I can walk to, so I'm not switching just for a good "pull" of Guiness.

[Condescending Robot]

It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.

[saje]

Teetotaler, are you?

Yes, people drink just to get drunk. But some of us actually LIKE the taste of beer and wine, and drink it to enjoy it, one or two glasses at most.

Condescending Robot, you are well named.

[DrFidelius]

If the bartender makes a little shamrock in the head, you are allowed to stab him in the throat with a fork. In several counties in Ireland this is mandatory.

[Peremensoe]

Originally Posted by Condescending Robot

It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.

Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.

[Robb]

Hand pulled?
You mean leg pulled.

[kayaker]

"Guinness is Good for You".

[Cinnamon Imp]

Seconded. And I pit bars who don't take care of their pipes properly so you get a foul tasting pint of Guinness that's travelled through gods knows what festering in the taps

[Rhythmdvl]

I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.

[kayaker]

Mmmmm. . .Irish Car Bombs. People still drinking those? A shot, 50/50 Jameson's and Bailey's; dropped into Guinness and chugged. Mmmmmm.

[skdo23]

Originally Posted by Rhythmdvl

I fucking hate it when I order a Sams and it comes in one of those froofy glasses. I see from the link that Condescending Robot wasn't being facetious--if it's accurate, they really do make their recommendation to the hundredths place. Plus, Guiness is redesigning their pint glasses? Fucking pretentious fucks.

I get the appreciation for Guiness as a beer and basic conventions. Good stuff. But pitting bartenders because they don't "klnow how to properly pour a pint" is hipster crap akin to overpriced speaker wire and a fetish for vinyl records.

To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.

[Kizzume]

"Shaken, not stirred" is all that goes through my mind...

[Czarcasm]

Is Coors Light best served in a plastic glass or a paper cup?

[Brewah]

Coors is best served by pouring it down the drain.

[black rabbit]

I like my Guinness best straight out of the can, from a paper bag, at a location where I'm not technically supposed to be drinking. YMMV.

[zoid]

Originally Posted by Condescending Robot

It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.

Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.

[friedo]

Guinness is a good beer but it's extremely overrated. There are a number of superior stouts of all kinds made right here in the USA. And they don't come with mandatory glass shapes or official pour-times with insignificant figures.

[friedo]

Originally Posted by zoid

Dick.

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

Oh, and one last thing...

You're a dick.

It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.

[zoid]

Originally Posted by friedo

It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.

I don't give a shit how they pour it as long as the end result is correct.
Wave a magic wand, say a prayer, cut the head off a chicken, what ever works.

[Rhythmdvl]

Originally Posted by friedo

It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.

Bringing your bartender flowers is a good start.


FTR, I probably have over a thousand dollars worth of Scotch on my bar right now. If you're here, I'll serve it in a rocks glass with a small flake of ice. If you want more (or none), so be it. So gripe about a bartender not ensuring a good head on your beer, flatness, or off tastes, that's one thing. Heck, I usually order Scotch chilled into a rocks glass so I don't have to worry about getting it in a strangely shaped glass, so if the special Guiness glass is part of your ritual, so be it.

Liking that is one thing. Bitching about bartenders that don't "know how to pour" and linking to a Wiki page that measures timing in hundredths of a second as if it's essential puts you into a different category.

So STFU and let's meet at a pub.

[Musicat]

Never mind how you pour it, it's how you drink it that counts. One more beer!

[An Gadaí]

I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.

[zoid]

Originally Posted by An Gadaí

I've only ever seen the knife thingy done in America but apparently it used to be popular here. Guinness is awful muck and the way Diageo has hijacked Irish culture and history for its own ends sickens me. Fuck Guinness whatever way it's poured. Also it turns your shite black.

How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?

[An Gadaí]

Originally Posted by zoid

How do you feel about Harp or Smithwick's?

I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.

[PlainJain]

Originally Posted by skdo23

To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.

Not a Guinness drinker but I too would be interested to see if that special pour would fly in a blind taste test. I gots to say, I'm skeptical.

[Joey P]

We don't have them in the US, but how would you feel about bartenders using a Surger?
That's using a can of Guinness with no nitrogen and sending ultrasonic waves through it to get the small bubbles.

[Saintly Loser]

Originally Posted by skdo23

To elaborate on my OP, I'm really only complaining about bartenders who are ignorant of the requisite two stage process required to properly pour a pint of Guinness and yes, this makes all the difference in the world.

As far as how long to wait between the two stages, I've never seen the bartender actually time the process. A quick glance to make sure the initial 3/4 pour has settled before topping it off is good enough for me.

I'm with you. And I'll add that I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.

[dropzone]

Originally Posted by zoid

Yes it does make a difference in taste and in getting the correct head which is a part of the edxperience.

You found a decent Guinness in Chicago? Usually it's rancid or...

Originally Posted by Saintly Loser

... I can't stand bars that chill Guinness until it's too cold to drink.

And that was at a ChiDope at a bar with pretentions to Irishness.

[Shakes]

I'm waiting for the bartenders to show up in this thread.

I'm sure they would love the fact that they are being told to spend two minutes pouring some special snowflake's beer.

[YourAdHere]

Ha, I'm a bartender and I came in to say exactly that. Do you know how much of a pain things like this are when 15 drunk people are angrily shouting special orders at you ?

You should probably tell the bartender how to do it right for you, especially if it's busy . Make sure not to tip either . Otherwise the bar atmosphere might get too relaxed if things aren't done properly.

Everyone acts like because they could make their special coffee or drink better at home they would naturally be better at working at a coffee shop or bar and making hundreds of different things an hour than the stupid proles who obviously could never sit there and fill out papers like they do.

[YourAdHere]

I pit bars that don' t use the proper nitrogen mixture with their guinness. Last time , the ratio was off by a few percentage points and I immediately vomited with rage!

Naturally, I left no tip. That guy's kids dont deserve heat and his seed should be wiped from the earth.

I may not be the customer they want, but I'm the one they NEED. The manager even assured me so when I complained to him again.

[SCAdian]

I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.

[Saintly Loser]

Originally Posted by Shakes

I'm waiting for the bartenders to show up in this thread.

I'm sure they would love the fact that they are being told to spend two minutes pouring some special snowflake's beer.

I've been a bartender. It's been a while, but still, I've done it.

It's not that big a deal. You pour the Guinness down the side of the glass until the glass is about 3/4 full. You then walk away and do something else. Serve someone else, if the bar is busy, or clean something. You then come back and top it off. That's all.

The rest of it is all in how the stuff is stored. It really shouldn't be served all that cold. There's some kind of aerator or something in the tap, which makes the beer come out properly fizzy (or actually not-fizzy, for Guinness).

Not a big thing at all. Not just for "special snowflakes."

[dogbutler]

Originally Posted by An Gadaí

I'd drink Harp if there was nothing else going and I quite like Smithwick's. Beamish isn't bad either.

I like Beamish, it's just hard to find these days.

[waterj2]

Originally Posted by SCAdian

I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.

Shit, it's a good thing you decided to post in this thread. Here I was, liking beer until you set me straight. It's a good thing you didn't skip this just because it concerns something you have no interest in. I would have kept enjoying beer, oblivious to the fact that you hate it, for who knows how long. That could've gotten embarrassing. Thanks.

[bump]

I've had more than my fair share of Guinness, both regular (US, UK, Italy) and "extra cold" (in the UK), and honestly, I'd rather them not dick around with producing too much head, on the theory that the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.

It just doesn't make much of a difference really... having had many a pint done right, and many a pint without much head.

[waterj2]

Originally Posted by bump

I've had more than my fair share of Guinness, both regular (US, UK, Italy) and "extra cold" (in the UK), and honestly, I'd rather them not dick around with producing too much head, on the theory that the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.

It just doesn't make much of a difference really... having had many a pint done right, and many a pint without much head.

I think the whole thing with the two-step pour is to let the head settle, so that you have room to add more beer. The other option to get to the same level of liquid beer and head in the glass would be to keep pouring beer in as the head overflows. If there's not much head, I'm thinking it's less carbonated (err, nitrogenated?) or a bunch of head was spilled out, not that it was poured sloppily. That would probably result in more head. I think.

[Inner Stickler]

Originally Posted by skdo23

Is it really that hard?

Don't be obnoxious.

Originally Posted by Peremensoe

Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.

Don't be thick.


Edit: And a special link just for SCAdian.

[SCAdian]

Originally Posted by SCAdian

I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.

Originally Posted by waterj2

Shit, it's a good thing you decided to post in this thread. Here I was, liking beer until you set me straight. It's a good thing you didn't skip this just because it concerns something you have no interest in. I would have kept enjoying beer, oblivious to the fact that you hate it, for who knows how long. That could've gotten embarrassing. Thanks.

Happy to be of service.

Besides, it was easier than opening a whole new thread to pit that disgusting, foul, unfit-for-human-consumption swill known as beer (the potable equivalent of Brussels sprouts).

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by SCAdian

I would say that the proper way to pour Guinness is into the toilet.

The same with any other beer.

It'll get there eventually -- what's your hurry?

[Blank Slate]

I worked as a bartender in an English pub for a few months when I was 18. I was just thrown back there and expected to deal with whatever. Mostly, it was simple: rum and coke, gin and tonic, pint of lager, half of bitter, measure of scotch, easy stuff. Nobody ever asked for sex on the beach or a harvey wallbanger.

But the Guinness pour was nerve-wracking. Those fuckers would just stare and stare, waiting for me to fuck it up somehow. But I learned, and it does make a difference. Should be a basic for any competent bartender, if they're selling the stuff.

[Monty]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

It'll get there eventually -- what's your hurry?

Well, if it's Coors or Budweiser, it's already there, just canned.

[Malacandra]

Originally Posted by friedo

It is possible to achieve the correct amount of head without resorting to absurd rituals promulgated by the manufacturer.

That's what I keep telling her, but nooo......

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Condescending Robot

It's marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of alcohol to hide the fact that you're drinking to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure the exact height of the glass and pouring in 119.53 seconds (never 199.02! you idiot!) is something that would totally affect the taste in a double-blind experiment

You want to get blitzed, fine, none of my business. But let's not pretend you're drinking a work of art here. It's fucking beer that you can buy at Wal-Mart. Get over it.

It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.

[Shoujin]

Just pour me this and I'll be ok

[silenus]

Originally Posted by kayaker

It takes a big man to threadshit in a beer thread. Just sayin.

Big asshole, you mean. I've never seen CR post anything worthwhile yet, and I doubt I ever will. In the words of Gunny Hartman, the best part of him ran down his mama's leg.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

Originally Posted by Peremensoe

Sure, just like cookery is marketing nonsense, part of the usual mythologizing of food to hide the fact that you're eating to get full. Let's not pretend you're eating a work of art here. It's fucking food that you can buy at Wal-Mart.

Guinness is food.

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Monty

Well, if it's Coors or Budweiser, it's already there, just canned.

Hmmm, true.

My dad has a recipe for bread that's just beer and flower. Damn, it's good.

[Cinnamon Imp]

Originally Posted by bump

the head takes up space in the glass that could better be used for liquid beer.

Hell yeah. Now I'm thirsty