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Old 06-02-2016, 08:06 AM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Donald Trump is Zaphod Beeblebrox!

Work with me on this.

"I'll build a hyperspace bypass, and I'll make Earth pay for it!"

“One of the major difficulties Ivana experienced in her relationship with Donald was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.”
  #2  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:07 AM
Two Many Cats Two Many Cats is offline
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Omigod, you're frickin' right! Now he'll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate!
  #3  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:11 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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That is just brilliant.
  #4  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:56 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
That is just brilliant.
"That is really amazing. That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it." - is it Trump, or is it Beeblebrox?
  #5  
Old 06-02-2016, 10:14 AM
troub troub is offline
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"It is said that his birth was marked by earthquakes, tidal waves, tornadoes, firestorms, the explosion of three neighbouring stars, and, shortly afterwards, by the issuing of over six and three quarter million writs for damages from all of the major landowners in his Galactic sector.

However, the only person by whom this is said is Trump himself, and there are several possible theories to explain this."
  #6  
Old 06-02-2016, 12:29 PM
beowulff beowulff is offline
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When asked why he is running for president, he responded:
Quote:
Well, it’s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it’s the fame and the money.
  #7  
Old 06-02-2016, 02:14 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
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On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone describing The Donald as "the best bang since the big one."
  #8  
Old 06-02-2016, 03:25 PM
Johnny Angel Johnny Angel is offline
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There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold.
  #9  
Old 06-02-2016, 04:53 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is online now
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He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?
  #10  
Old 06-02-2016, 05:42 PM
Chimera Chimera is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Angel View Post
There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold.
If we happen to have a space ship laying around, even an old alien one that doesn't quite work right, I'd be all for encouraging him to steal it and fly off into space.
  #11  
Old 06-02-2016, 05:48 PM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is online now
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We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to Republican primary voters, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.
  #12  
Old 06-02-2016, 07:31 PM
Gorsnak Gorsnak is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?
Exactly. I came in to post that Beeblebrox is at least 382% hoopier than Trump.
  #13  
Old 06-02-2016, 07:35 PM
Goofus Goofus is offline
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I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.
  #14  
Old 06-02-2016, 07:44 PM
Hail Ants Hail Ants is offline
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Look on the bright side, in his first debate with Hillary he may just respond with, "Talk a lot don't you..."
  #15  
Old 06-02-2016, 07:58 PM
Why Child Why Child is offline
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“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”


Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them.



Oh shit, I think you're right!!!
  #16  
Old 06-02-2016, 08:53 PM
JRDelirious JRDelirious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
He is not a hoopy frood, he does not know where his towel is, and he is most definitely not just this guy, see?
Well, he's got a whole damn lot of towels but, like, they are not his personal towels.
  #17  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:00 PM
foolsguinea foolsguinea is offline
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No, Guy Fleegman is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
  #18  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:14 PM
Miller Miller is offline
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Originally Posted by Two Many Cats View Post
Omigod, you're frickin' right! Now he'll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate!
Nah, it'll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath. Except instead of his entire head, it's just his hair.

(And before anyone jumps my shit for mentioning the movie, if Trump is any Zaphod Beeblebrox, he's definitely the worst Zaphod Beeblebrox imaginable, so the movie reference is completely apropos.)
  #19  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:32 PM
DinoR DinoR is offline
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Anyone know anywhere I can get a good Pan Galactic Gargleblaster on earth? I'll need some if he wins in November.
  #20  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:34 PM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miller View Post
Nah, it'll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath.
You jest, but that may mean we'll all owe him an apology for that John Miller stuff.
  #21  
Old 06-02-2016, 11:33 PM
dropzone dropzone is offline
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Not to play the omniscient pop/real culture maven I am, but it took you people THIS LONG to make the connection? Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post. In those days there were giants on the board who could connect the slightest cultural minutiae to world events, and vice versa.

Many are still here, but most are too secure in their nerdom to point it out. I am not, but I am on a tablet and unwilling to cite chapter and verse demonstrating precisely how the comparison is patently obvious to the casual observer.
  #22  
Old 06-02-2016, 11:39 PM
Lamia Lamia is offline
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Zaphod Beeblebrox would have much, MUCH better hair than Donald Trump.
  #23  
Old 06-03-2016, 04:27 AM
JKellyMap JKellyMap is offline
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Funny thread.

I just want to mention that for me it's a coincidence that, on the same day, there's a new thread about Debrox, and a new thread about Zaphod Beeblebrox. As my wife can tell you, I call the earwax removal liquid "Zaphod Beeblebrox," every time I use it.

I guess because there are so few words that end in "-brox," I can't see one without thinking of the other.
  #24  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:24 AM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goofus View Post
I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.
Exactly. Trump wouldn't just be immune, he'd be the best immune. The most immune anyone has ever seen!
  #25  
Old 06-03-2016, 06:14 AM
Face Intentionally Left Blank Face Intentionally Left Blank is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goofus View Post
I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex.
Well, he IS yuuuge, after all.
  #26  
Old 06-03-2016, 09:01 AM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dropzone View Post
Not to play the omniscient pop/real culture maven I am, but it took you people THIS LONG to make the connection?
Internet Rule 67: Any original idea can already be found on the internet, and somebody has already been profiting from it.

Given that, we can either enjoy an observation and politely ignore it's already been done, or we can all just sit quietly in nihilistic recognition of the futility of thought. To be fair, out of kindness to you all I normally take the nihilist's path.
  #27  
Old 06-03-2016, 10:25 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is online now
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Great observation. Google turned up this for me: http://www.mattsweirld.com/donald-tr...al-candidates/
  #28  
Old 06-03-2016, 03:11 PM
troub troub is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dropzone View Post
...Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post.
Yup. This is precisely the decline of civilization that leads us to such dire circumstances as we see before us. We have met the enemy, and he is us.
  #29  
Old 06-03-2016, 04:24 PM
beowulff beowulff is offline
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Originally Posted by dropzone View Post
Back in my day the Dope had standards and prerequisites before you could post.
Yeah, and they cost $15, too!
  #30  
Old 06-03-2016, 05:43 PM
ftg ftg is offline
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"Well, just who do you think you are, honey? Donald Trump or something?"

"Count the hairs."

"You are Donald Trump?"

"Yeah, but don't shout it out or they'll all want one."

"The Donald Trump?"

"No, just a Donald Trump, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"

"But sir, I heard you were dead."

"That's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet."
  #31  
Old 06-04-2016, 04:19 AM
russian heel russian heel is offline
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Who said it? Zaphod . . . or Trump? GOOD LUCK!


"It is very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I am so good looking."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I ever meet myself, I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"The point is, you can never be too greedy."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"In the name of liberty, and freedom, and people, and... stuff... let's do that again! "

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Listen, you semi-evolved simian, go climb a tree, will you?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"Okay. So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox

Last edited by russian heel; 06-04-2016 at 04:21 AM.
  #32  
Old 06-06-2016, 03:43 AM
Senegoid Senegoid is offline
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Trump is, by virtue of all the things he says, the Infinite Improbability Imbecility Generator, the heart of the Drive propelling him across the vast void of the mindset of Republican voters, toward the White House.

I will be voting for the petunias, myself.
  #33  
Old 06-06-2016, 08:46 AM
Smitty Smitty is offline
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Which makes Hillary the Vogon Captain:

Hillary: So what you're saying is, I want to be President because underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I just want to be loved?
Ford: [whispers] Yes, yes, yes.
Arthur: Yes, yes, yeah, please.
[other Democrats ooh-ing and aah-ing]
Hillary: Throw them off the ship!
  #34  
Old 06-06-2016, 10:18 AM
ftg ftg is offline
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Trump does sound a lot like Zaphod after he came out of the Total Perspective Vortex. Thinking the Universe was created just for him, etc.

But it was. Zaphod was in a simulated universe at the time so it was created for him.

OMG, we are living in a universe created just for Donald Trump.

I think I'm going to be sick.
  #35  
Old 06-06-2016, 11:50 AM
HyacinthBucket HyacinthBucket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by russian heel View Post
Who said it? Zaphod . . . or Trump? GOOD LUCK!


"It is very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I am so good looking."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I ever meet myself, I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer."

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"The point is, you can never be too greedy."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"In the name of liberty, and freedom, and people, and... stuff... let's do that again! "

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"Listen, you semi-evolved simian, go climb a tree, will you?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox


"My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong."

SPOILER:
Donald Trump


"Okay. So, ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, huh?"

SPOILER:
Zaphod Beeblebrox

I think you should write a quiz for Sporcle !!!
  #36  
Old 06-06-2016, 12:37 PM
oft wears hats oft wears hats is offline
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If Trump gets elected, I can totally see him being a Zaphod Beeblebrox. Zaphod's whole job was to draw attention away from power, rather than actually wielding it. He made presidential broadcasts from the bath, Eccentrica Gallumbits' bedroom, or wherever else he happened to be at the time. I can see Trump doing the same thing, while his handlers tell him what to sign.

Of course, he could also just do whatever he wants and defy any control. Maybe we can build a decoy starship for Trump to steal to get rid of him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by foolsguinea View Post
No, Guy Fleegman is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Mark Wing-Davey is the only Zaphod Beeblebrox, that other Guy is just a pretender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
Zaphod Beeblebrox would have much, MUCH better hair than Donald Trump.
Two sets, even!
  #37  
Old 06-07-2016, 04:15 PM
CaptMurdock CaptMurdock is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DinoR View Post
Anyone know anywhere I can get a good Pan Galactic Gargleblaster on earth? I'll need some if he wins in November.
I don't think I'd bother with that. I'll cut to the chase and bash my head with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
  #38  
Old 06-08-2016, 02:10 AM
russian heel russian heel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HyacinthBucket View Post
I think you should write a quiz for Sporcle !!!
I'll have my writing team get right on that.
  #39  
Old 06-08-2016, 11:55 AM
Claverhouse Claverhouse is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hail Ants View Post
Look on the bright side, in his first debate with Hillary he may just respond with, "Talk a lot don't you..."

One of my favourite quotes of all time.



Along with "Smorl, isn't he ?" remarked by one of the birds living in a 15 mile high statue of Arthur, on seeing him in the flesh.



And talking of 15 mile high statues...
__________________
The efficiency and success of the Italian aviators in Tripoli are noteworthy, but must not be overvalued. There were no opponents in the air.

v. Bernhardi ---- Germany and the Next War
  #40  
Old 06-08-2016, 12:09 PM
Paintcharge Paintcharge is online now
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When I first heard he was running I immediately thought of this quote:

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
  #41  
Old 06-08-2016, 08:29 PM
lynne-42 lynne-42 is offline
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Thank you, Dopers! I needed this lightening to my day. Brilliant.
  #42  
Old 06-09-2016, 07:45 AM
Running with Scissors Running with Scissors is offline
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Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle View Post
On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone describing The Donald as "the best bang since the big one."
Actually...
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