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Old 08-31-2016, 09:27 AM
davidm davidm is offline
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Clowns in woods try to lure children with money, residents say

This is weird. It's probably some kind of mass hysteria, but it may lead to some innocent person or persons being shot.
http://www.wyff4.com/news/Clowns-in-...s-say/41418260
Quote:
Residents of a Greenville County apartment complex say clowns have tried to lure their children into the woods with large amounts of money, and deputies have released the report Monday in connection to the claims.
...
The deputy said other children told him that several clowns appeared in the woods and tried entice them into the woods by showing them large amounts of cash. The children said they think the clowns live in a house near a pond at the end of a trail in the woods.

The deputy walked the trail to a house near a pond in the woods behind the apartment. The deputy said there were no signs of suspicious activity and found no one dressed as a clown.

The deputy said he investigated a report of gunfire the night before, and learned that men from the apartment complex, who were aware of the complaints about clowns, fired weapons in the direction of the wooded area after they heard noises.
At least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.

I find the reports of guns being fired at noises in the woods scarier than any supposed clowns.
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Old 08-31-2016, 09:56 AM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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They all float down here.
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Old 08-31-2016, 10:09 AM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is offline
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Photographic evidence!
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Old 08-31-2016, 10:16 AM
bump bump is offline
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My guess is that this is probably dumb-ass teenagers screwing with people.

Plus, kids are dumb. When I was a kid, there was a drainage ditch near our elementary school, with an old (1940s-1950s era) trestle bridge that a local farmer had used for livestock prior to the development of that area. It was made of creosote-treated timber, so it was black, and it was old, so it was kind of warped and scary looking. And I think someone had set part of it afire at some point in the past.

We children were CONVINCED that "devil-worshippers" had ceremonies near the bridge at midnight. Never mind that the bridge itself was like 100 yards from the school, and probably 300 yards from a suburban neighborhood. If anything happened, it was probably dumb-ass teenagers smoking weed by there, and screwing around and maybe setting stuff on fire for kicks.

But all it would have taken would have been a comment to someone's parents about the devil-worshippers in the early 1980s, and it would have been a Big Deal with equal breathless panic on the news.
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Old 08-31-2016, 10:16 AM
davidm davidm is offline
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Now I'm thinking that people may really be seeing what they're reporting. This seems to be a thing. There are a bunch of Youtube videos of killer clown pranks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZmFBFfh4Vw

I can't help but laugh at some of them, but it's totally wrong and stupid. People could easily get hurt or killed; either the "victims" while running away or the perpetrators when someone decides to defend themselves.
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Old 08-31-2016, 10:43 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
I can't help but laugh at some of them, but it's totally wrong and stupid. People could easily get hurt or killed; either the "victims" while running away or the perpetrators when someone decides to defend themselves.
A clown could get shot in some places.
  #7  
Old 08-31-2016, 10:56 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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A clown could get shot in some places.
Shoot 'em in the funny bone. It's their Achilles's heel.
  #8  
Old 08-31-2016, 11:19 AM
iiandyiiii iiandyiiii is offline
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A clown could get shot in some places.
Killing a clown outside of clown season can result in a $500 fine and up to 30 days in the county jail.
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Old 08-31-2016, 11:34 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Shoot 'em in the funny bone. It's their Achilles's heel.
That's why they wear those big shoes!
  #10  
Old 08-31-2016, 11:46 AM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Well, there was this guy.

And they've been spotted in Indiana.

And in the wilds of Brooklyn.

Even once in Vancouver.

As a matter of fact, I'm starting to think that the best place to look for a clown is behind a tree.
  #11  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:00 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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Just hope it's not this guy.
  #12  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:03 PM
Dallas Jones Dallas Jones is offline
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This looks like a job for the Insane Clown Posse!!! Round them up!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insane_Clown_Posse
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Old 08-31-2016, 12:10 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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This looks like a job for the Insane Clown Posse!!! Round them up!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insane_Clown_Posse
Fuck, I'd take Pennywise over those losers anyday.
  #14  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:23 PM
Biotop Biotop is offline
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Police were looking for several clowns supposedly spotted in the area yesterday, but the only vehicle they saw nearby was a extra-small compact speeding away, and all those clowns couldn't have been in that one car.
  #15  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:26 PM
MrDibble MrDibble is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
it may lead to some innocent person or persons being shot.
There are no innocent clowns.
  #16  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:38 PM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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There are no innocent clowns.

-Dashiell Hammett
  #17  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:36 PM
davidm davidm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrDibble View Post
There are no innocent clowns.
Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.
  #18  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:46 PM
Dewey Finn Dewey Finn is offline
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Originally Posted by davidm View Post
t least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.
This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?
  #19  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:51 PM
davidm davidm is offline
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This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?
I have no idea. The article doesn't say.
  #20  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:54 PM
Dewey Finn Dewey Finn is offline
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The obvious answer is that she was walking home after last call at the local bar. So the question is how sober was she.
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Old 08-31-2016, 02:54 PM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Quote:
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This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?
More importantly, what color was the blinking nose?
  #22  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:59 PM
Doctor Jackson Doctor Jackson is offline
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At least one adult reported seeing a clown. She said that a large clown with a blinking nose waved at her when she was walking home at 2:30 in the morning.
Pfft. That was just Rudolph out on a training run.
  #23  
Old 08-31-2016, 02:59 PM
Encinitas Encinitas is offline
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Quote:
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This was at 2:30am? Where was she coming from?
The clown store of course.
  #24  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:00 PM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is online now
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Anyone seen The Chiodo Brothers recently?
  #25  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:24 PM
WildBlueYonder WildBlueYonder is offline
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I've been seeing that scary clown for decades. I tried to keep my son from it all of his young life, once he turned 40 he finally understood and never see's the clown at all now.
  #26  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:26 PM
Biotop Biotop is offline
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Quote:
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Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.
It's ok. Those guns just made a popping sound and a little white banner with the word "BANG!" sprung out.
  #27  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:37 PM
MrDibble MrDibble is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
Sure but apparently some of the residents, spooked by the clown stories, were shooting blindly into the woods, in the dark, at sounds they heard. So they could hit someone other than a clown.
If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...
  #28  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:46 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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Quote:
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If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...
Mimes wouldn't be making noise.
  #29  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:48 PM
Wolf333 Wolf333 is offline
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Mimes wouldn't be making noise.


Unless they were terrible.
  #30  
Old 08-31-2016, 03:59 PM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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There are no innocent clowns.
A clown killed my father.
  #31  
Old 08-31-2016, 04:01 PM
TroutMan TroutMan is offline
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I won't believe the kids until they thrust their fists against the gowns and still insist they see the clowns.
  #32  
Old 08-31-2016, 04:14 PM
Biotop Biotop is offline
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Mimes wouldn't be making noise.
And should not get shot at.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
  #33  
Old 08-31-2016, 04:27 PM
Leo Krupe Leo Krupe is offline
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A clown killed my father.
A clown ate my dingo.
  #34  
Old 08-31-2016, 05:30 PM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is offline
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They need to find Cathy. She's the ringleader.
  #35  
Old 08-31-2016, 05:41 PM
74westy 74westy is offline
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I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you?
  #36  
Old 08-31-2016, 05:44 PM
garygnu garygnu is offline
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The remake of It isn't coming to theaters for more than a year. If it's an attempt at viral marketing it's a poor one.
  #37  
Old 08-31-2016, 11:38 PM
Biotop Biotop is offline
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Clowns got cash?
  #38  
Old 09-01-2016, 12:41 AM
MrDibble MrDibble is offline
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Unless they were terrible.
I'm glad someone got it
  #39  
Old 09-01-2016, 04:08 AM
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They all float down here.
Why do you think his name is Pennywise?
  #40  
Old 09-01-2016, 06:52 AM
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I hear four kids in a van with a large dog are on the case. They'll get to the bottom of it soon.
  #41  
Old 09-01-2016, 07:02 AM
JKellyMap JKellyMap is offline
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Quote:
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I find the reports of guns being fired at noises in the woods scarier than any supposed clowns.
It's okay -- if they kill a clown, you won't have to see any footage of it -- Jerry Lewis will make sure it's suppressed.
  #42  
Old 09-01-2016, 07:17 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Ringmaster shouts let the show begin
Send in the clowns, then let them do you in
See a rubber nose on a painted face
Bringing genocide to the human race
  #43  
Old 09-01-2016, 07:29 AM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
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Isn't there some new scary clown movie coming out? Could all this be a publicity stunt?
  #44  
Old 09-01-2016, 09:28 AM
Biotop Biotop is offline
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Maybe they are (gasp) illegal immigrant clowns. There's your scary movie: The Bozos from Brazil.
  #45  
Old 09-01-2016, 09:47 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Maybe they are (gasp) illegal immigrant clowns. There's your scary movie: The Bozos from Brazil.
I dunno. Who has hair like that?
  #46  
Old 09-01-2016, 09:48 AM
Just Asking Questions Just Asking Questions is offline
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Isn't there some new scary clown movie coming out? Could all this be a publicity stunt?
Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?
  #47  
Old 09-01-2016, 10:31 AM
carnivorousplant carnivorousplant is offline
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Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?
Is a remake or a sequel?
  #48  
Old 09-01-2016, 10:35 AM
Count Blucher Count Blucher is offline
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And should not get shot at.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste.


That's a 'Bozo No-No'...?
  #49  
Old 09-01-2016, 12:12 PM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is online now
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Are they remaking the best evil clown movie evah?
See post 24.
  #50  
Old 09-01-2016, 12:28 PM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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Quote:
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Why do you think his name is Pennywise?
cuz Poundfoolish is a silly name for a clown.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrDibble View Post
If something's in the woods making noises in the dark, it's probably worse than clowns.


It could be terrible mimes...
Do non-terrible mimes exist?

Last edited by G0sp3l; 09-01-2016 at 12:30 PM.
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