A Bachelor's Adventure in Cooking

[Ephemera]

..or "I Like This and That, I Wonder How They'll Taste Together?"

A few moments ago, while sitting here reading the boards, I had a pang of hunger so I heaved myself out of my chair and went scavenging in the kitchen only to find my cabinets mostly bare and my fridge full of frosty beverages and not much else.

I did happen to find a large can of chili in one of the compartments and an onion in another though, so I decided to tempt the fates and try my hand at some Tex-Mex.

Not having a functioning stove, I wound up dicing and then broiling half of the onion in my stove after seasoning them with some garlic, cayenne, and chili powder. While that was going on, I was also doctoring up the rather bland chili with a little bit of hot sauce.

About five minutes later, the onions golden brown and added to the chili, I tasted my finished product and still found it lacking. Even for canned chili, the stuff didn't taste that good. Not knowing what else I could do, I looked in my cabinets some more and finally found something promising - horseradish sauce! I love the stuff and thought it would go great with it, not only improving its flavor but also giving it that extra heat it needed.

Sadly, I was wrong. I don't think I could have created something more offensive to the taste buds if I had covered a bowl of chocolate ice cream in lima beans and then topped it with a sauce of equal parts ketchup and vegemite.

After my tongue regains its function and my stomach stops roiling, I think I'll just walk to the Burger King down the street for lunch. While I doubt its greasy fare will do my stomach any favors, at least its unambitiously bland Whopper won't cause my taste buds to mutiny.