Pilates has ruined me

[Hunter Hawk]

Now, I'll be the first to admit that there are a lot of benefits to doing Pilates. The exercises work your abdominals, improve your posture, and do great things for your flexibility. And then, of course, there's the fact that the Pilates studio is filled with hot chicks.

Unfortunately, there's the problem: There are enough women in the studio that it crosses the Hot Chick Event Horizon, which means that all those hot chicks feel perfectly comfortable discussing things like Boobs and Relationships and Disturbing Bodily Functions and all the while I'm busy being contorted into odd and embarrassing postures so I can't even cover my ears and sing LALALALALALALA oh god make it stop I'm scared of the TMI

And then it gets worse: Last Friday I was at a concert watching a totally hot chick belly dancing--and all I could think was Wow, nice obliques...I wish I could do that. I wonder what her workout routine is?

Dangit, I wanna be shallow again!

::whimper::

[rorty]

Man, I wish I had your problems!

[AskNott]

Some guys, when they get a job counting bikinis at the beach, will complain about the quality of the free lemonade.

[Hunter Hawk]

Hey, somebody has to speak up about the lemonade...

[Shirley Ujest]

Maybe you've turned into a lesbian.

[Snooooopy]

Some people don't even come within a parsec of the Hot Chick Event Horizon.

[Hunter Hawk]

Originally Posted by Shirley Ujest

Maybe you've turned into a lesbian.

Hmm...

Appreciates the female form? Check.
Drives a practical car? Check.
Has short hair? Check.

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by Hunter Hawk

Hmm...

Appreciates the female form? Check.
Drives a practical car? Check.
Has short hair? Check.

You know, if you also listen to Ani DeFranco and shop only at organic co-ops, you're lost.

[ShibbOleth]

Originally Posted by jayjay

You know, if you also listen to Ani DeFranco and shop only at organic co-ops, you're lost.

Quick! Eschew sensible shoes. Run out and buy yourself a nice pare of stiletto heels that pinch at the toes!

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Are there many men in Pilates classes these days? So far, it still seems to be mainly a female thing, thought the originator of the system was male. In a similar vein, I saw a British yoga magazine about the new phenomenon of men doing yoga, and it was presented as something very new and surprising, and a bit 'gender-bending'. Yet in America the idea of men doing yoga is completely 'normal', whatever that means, and classes can be nearly half male.

[vivalostwages]

I took Pilates for about a year and very few men attended. Seen from a distance, it probably looks like nothing much is happening. Or possibly they think that the machine does all the work.

[Stranger On A Train]

Originally Posted by jayjay

You know, if you also listen to Ani DeFranco and shop only at organic co-ops, you're lost.

Whew! For a second there, I was worried for myself, but someone loaned me an Ani DeFranco CD once and I didn't make it past track 4. I do like comfortable shoes, though, but then, that's okay...I'm a dude! I can be practical and nobody makes snide comments about my sexual persuasion. Plus, I get to pee standing up, which is a big plus at gas stations and on the trail.

Oh, and it's a kilt, damnit, nae a skirt, ya wee-brained murron!

Stranger

[Hunter Hawk]

Originally Posted by jayjay

You know, if you also listen to Ani DeFranco and shop only at organic co-ops, you're lost.

Shops at organic co-ops? Check.


Buys unground wheat berries for use in rustic peasant cooking? Check.


Listens to Ani DeFranco?......

No. Huzzah, there's still hope! Somebody bring beer and pornography, stat!

[NurseCarmen]

Do you mean to say that you don't have your own beer and pornography?

I'm afraid we've lost him folks.

[Nava]

I have beer and porn, but the porn is mostly guys, so methinks it's not what Hawk needs... *hops away to check bro's computer*

[msmith537]

No no he's right. There is a Hot Chick Event Horizon or Critical Mass if you will.

Here's how it works. You are all familiar with "The Ratio" right? Basically in any social function it's:

Total Number of women * % that you find attractive * % that are available
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Number of men who are equal or more studly than you (including you)

Now obviously, the more women and the less dudes, the better your chances of finding a date. The higher the better, right?

Now a funny thing happens after a certain point. If there are TOO MANY women and the ration gets too large, it becomes harder to find a date. I suspect that it has something to do with the ladies perceiving that either you (as a man) don't belong there or you're gay or are running a scam or the event is lame.

It's science.

[Ethilrist]

re: Hot Chick Event Horizon, and its effects on everyday discussions:

Just hang around here for a while. After reading the 137th or so TMI thread started by one of our grand and glorious ladies, you come full circle and find that stuff kind of hot.

[Hunter Hawk]

Originally Posted by NurseCarmen

I'm afraid we've lost him folks.

Well, crap. But does it at least mean I'm trendy now? Because lord knows I wasn't trendy before.

Originally Posted by vivalostwages

I took Pilates for about a year and very few men attended. Seen from a distance, it probably looks like nothing much is happening.

Yeah, there are a few guys in the studio but it's mostly women. Apparently guys think Pilates looks wimpy, so they don't bother trying it. And then when they do try it, they apparently have a tendency to go powering through the movements rather than using proper form, so they don't really see the intended benefits.

[Shirley Ujest]

Originally Posted by Hunter Hawk

Well, crap. But does it at least mean I'm trendy now? Because lord knows I wasn't trendy before.

Maybe you are one of those Metrosexuals. You PERVERT!

Pardon me, but I feel the need to smite you.



Metrosexuality is illegal in Georgia.