I never feel actually _happy_ about anything

[Frylock]

Here's what I mean.

I don't always feel sad.

And I often feel generally, vaguely, "satisfied," as in, I think to myself, "Yeah, things are going the way I'd like them to go, and so I do not feel at all unhappy."

But I never actually feel happy.

For example, I certainly never feel excitedly happy.

Nor do I even ever feel "calmly happy." What do I mean? Like, sometimes, my wife will turn to me while we're doing something nice, and she'll have a big grin on her face, and she'll say, "This is perfect." Or whatever. And its clear she literally is feeling something, which I am quite sure would be called the feeling "happiness." But... I never get that. As I said above, the best is a feeling I would express by saying "Nothing's going wrong, and I don't feel sad, so, okay."

Recently my friends at school and I all "passed portfolio" which means, basically, our department has certified that it likes us, expects good things from us, and will keep us around for a few years. Everyone else was ecstatic on hearing the news they had passed. Big smiley faces, lots of happy laughter and celebration, and so on.

Me? I was kind of sitting in the corner looking around pensively. I just wasn't happy. I was satisfied, but not happy.

So like... is this how it is for a lot of people? Or do I have a problem?

-FrL-