Is sex overrated?

[johnpost]

sex is overrated. it is no wheres more important than lots of things; like for example

let me think a bit. i'll get back to you.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by Hero From Sector 7G

If you're talkin' about what I think you're talkin' about, I feel ya dude.

At first it was like "shit I'm superman!" now it is like "um, we good here?"

VT's Experience with Paxil, a Brand-new Medication (c. 1993)

Starting Dose: "Wow, I can last forever!"

Increased Dose: "Wow, this is taking forever."

Prolonged Use: "Wow, I haven't even thought about it in... forever."

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Leaffan

I have enjoyed sex when it's spontaneous and unexpected. Sex with an ongoing partner, for me, has been boring, obligatory, and dutiful.

It is for everyone if you let it be. For a good long-term fulfilling relationship - and I think I have at least some grounds to speak, being in a relationship for fifteen years and we still have sex 5-6x most weeks, both partners need to be aware of the propensity for real life to get in the way, and for the fact that sex can get boring if you don't work at it. Like anything else, it requires maintenance. That doesn't mean it has to be bad or dull or routine...but it does create closeness.

[HoneyBadgerDC]

The dynamics of sex in a relationship make it interesting. My first marriage lasted 20 years and we had sex nearly every night. It never seemed routine even though it probably was, lots of affection but the act itself proably averaged less than 20 min.
Second wife, lasted 5 years. 90% of the time I felt like she was just getting me off. I tried to save her the trouble and speed things up as much as possible.
Present releationship has been chaotic over the past 17 years. Both if us have cheated numerous times, many break ups and seperations. Our sex has anever been routine, sometimes angry, sometimes extremely loving, sometimes just crazy lustful monkey sex. I really enjoy it because after all these years we both have an almost constant state of sexual tension going on.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by Hero From Sector 7G

If you're talkin' about what I think you're talkin' about, I feel ya dude.

At first it was like "shit I'm superman!" now it is like "um, we good here?"

YES! Haha. Very much like that.

When I'm... alone, things go better. Why is that I wonder?

[Aspidistra]

Originally Posted by panache45

I'm not questioning that it happened, it happened with me too. But that shouldn't be an excuse for considering sex overrated.

Why does he need an excuse? You don't need an excuse to like or dislike something.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by Aspidistra

Why does he need an excuse? You don't need an excuse to like or dislike something.

I thought he meant that I'm not in a position to say it's overrated when I'm on meds... but I still don't know what I would think of sex without them.

I guess I'll get a little personal since I don't really care what people think of me.

They say women are aesthetically more beautiful than men, which I would agree to so long as their legs are crossed. I haven't been with many partners, but I'm SOMETIMES turned off by women when it comes to "down there". The smell and the taste can differ... but for the most part, I'm just not use to it I guess.

On top of that, all the porn I watch is lesbian. I'm not grossed out by there being a man in the mix, but it doesn't do anything for me either. I wonder if years of not having anyone to 'relate to' in my porn has effected me.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by BMalion

Male, 51.

I miss it, haven't functioned in that area since 2004, due to my disability. It used to be very important.

I'm sorry to hear this

[Hello Again]

Well if you don't like it, it's overrated for you. That doesn't mean its overrated in general.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by Hello Again

Well if you don't like it, it's overrated for you. That doesn't mean its overrated in general.

Oh yeah, I know. I really wanted to hear from at least one other male that it was "overrated" to them. I wouldn't feel so alone.

I should definitely not give up on it yet. Like I said, I haven't had much experience. Most of you make it sound so great, I feel like I'm missing out.

Sorry if I got too personal... I probably shouldn't have done that, knowing for a fact people that know who I am IRL read my posts here. But I like to be as open as possible. I also want people here to understand why I might find it "overrated", maybe get some advice.

[BMalion]

Originally Posted by MyFootsZZZ

I'm sorry to hear this

Thank you.

I still have my pleasant memories.

Oh boy, do I have memories!

[Farmer Jane]

Originally Posted by John DiFool

4 minutes of squelching noises, full of sound and fury signifying nothing?

Well for starters...

[Vinyl Turnip]

Yeah, that's like, way too long.

[Farmer Jane]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

Yeah, that's like, way too long.

Maybe you should bring a book.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Touché.

[Leaffan]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

It is for everyone if you let it be. For a good long-term fulfilling relationship - and I think I have at least some grounds to speak, being in a relationship for fifteen years and we still have sex 5-6x most weeks, both partners need to be aware of the propensity for real life to get in the way, and for the fact that sex can get boring if you don't work at it. Like anything else, it requires maintenance. That doesn't mean it has to be bad or dull or routine...but it does create closeness.

I can't have sex 5 or 6 times a week. I've never been able to have sex 5 or 6 times a week.

There was another thread recently on this very topic, and I am definitely an outlier in how long it takes me to "recharge" afterwards.

We're all wired differently, of course. I'd rather have good sex once a month than routine sex 5 times a week. Again, this is just me and we're all different. I know my preferences are different, for sure.

[AHunter3]

It depends on how you define "sex". And that's a much more complex question than it may first appear to be.

[scootergirl]

I think it depends on how sexuality compatible you are. I was married for 17 years and for the last three, maybe even longer, our sex life was practically non-existent. We were on opposite ends of the spectrum... everything I desired, he had hangups with. We drifted apart on many different levels, but the lack of it, and the differences between us were too much.
My guy now is adventurous and giving (like me) and although we both lead busy lives, we make a point to satisfy each other as often as we can. These days I walk around with a smile on my face instead of a frown. It took until my late forties to find him! No, right now, at this time in my life - sex is not overrated.

[scootergirl]

UGH! Hate it when I don't notice mistakes and the editing time runs out. Meant to type "sexually compatible...." not "sexuality....."

[kmshrader]

Female. I was in a long-distance relationship for years, and the sex was definitely not the big part of our relationship (obviously). We're still great friends now that there isn't any sex.

That said, sex has been a big part of the short-distance relationships I've had, and I'd be upset if it weren't. Definitely not overrated for me.

[Alan Smithee]

Originally Posted by MyFootsZZZ

Oh yeah, I know. I really wanted to hear from at least one other male that it was "overrated" to them. I wouldn't feel so alone.

I should definitely not give up on it yet. Like I said, I haven't had much experience. Most of you make it sound so great, I feel like I'm missing out.

Sorry if I got too personal... I probably shouldn't have done that, knowing for a fact people that know who I am IRL read my posts here. But I like to be as open as possible. I also want people here to understand why I might find it "overrated", maybe get some advice.

Well here you go. Male, 35, never had really great sex. Also been on antidepressants since I was 13, but I don't think that's the reason. (Though the underlying depression very well likely is.) Being stoned definitely makes it better though. I've had some fairly mind-blowing sexual experiences stoned, but unfortunately I was alone at the time. Sober, eh, take it or leave it.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by Alan Smithee

Well here you go. Male, 35, never had really great sex. Also been on antidepressants since I was 13, but I don't think that's the reason. (Though the underlying depression very well likely is.) Being stoned definitely makes it better though. I've had some fairly mind-blowing sexual experiences stoned, but unfortunately I was alone at the time. Sober, eh, take it or leave it.

Thanks for sharing!!

I'm not alone you guys! I'm not a stranger to getting stoned, (these days not so much), but doesn't that ultimately impair one's sexual prowess?

[DrFidelius]

I could ask "Is food overrated?"

I like to eat, I have a few restaurants I go to often, I have tried a great number of different dishes. I cannot understand people who view eating as entertainment - the folks who will follow a celebrity chef or spend good money eat a meal made to hardly resemble food at all. I just don't get the level of attention given to food, special restauants, or strange recipes.

BUT, I also recognize that literally de gustibus, and so I do not make a big deal out of my incomprehension, nor to I (publically) question the sanity of those who do enjoy eating to that level of obsession.

[MyFootsZZZ]

Originally Posted by DrFidelius

I could ask "Is food overrated?"

I like to eat, I have a few restaurants I go to often, I have tried a great number of different dishes. I cannot understand people who view eating as entertainment - the folks who will follow a celebrity chef or spend good money eat a meal made to hardly resemble food at all. I just don't get the level of attention given to food, special restauants, or strange recipes.

BUT, I also recognize that literally de gustibus, and so I do not make a big deal out of my incomprehension, nor to I (publically) question the sanity of those who do enjoy eating to that level of obsession.

But you NEED food to live. I see your point though. Sex can differ.

[Napier]

Male, 55, married 23 years, essentially celibate the last 8.

Overrated.

You know how they say that evolution has made sex pleasurable to ensure the survival of the species? Well, it's worse than that. Mother Nature obviously does not need you to enjoy sex. She only needs you to think you will.

[Farmer Jane]

I think people are treating the question as, "Could you live without sex or infrequent sex?"

Not the same thing.

[gladtobeblazed]

Male. It's not as great as some drugs are but it's still pretty good. It would be hard for me to pick between sex and getting drunk and high and listening to good music. Ideally I would be able to do both at the same time, but if I had to decide between the two? Hard decision.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by gladtobeblazed

It's not as great as some drugs are but it's still pretty good. It would be hard for me to pick between sex and getting high

Bet I could make an educated guess...

[Jaledin]

Male. Yeah, it's overrated once you feel as though you've had a good run of it. It would take someone really "special" (no, not a retarded chick) to be like *yeah bitch!* rather than *well, let's go, baby -- show me what you got!*

[StusBlues]

Making love is about the top of the list for me pleasure-wise, but intercourse itself is a little overrated. I'd much rather exchange oral and manual pleasure for an hour with a partner who knows what she's doing than engage in more lackluster PIV.

[Becky2844]

Not overrated but obsessed about, yeah. And sometimes not worth it, like the bathroom wall scribble, "The fucking you get ain't worth the fucking you get." The best lover I ever had never made me come, but sometimes after we made love I cried because it was just so damn good. It depends, and changes with time, experience and partners so is wildly variable.

[Becky2844]

Originally Posted by BMalion

Thank you.

I still have my pleasant memories.

Oh boy, do I have memories!

*pretending to be a palm reader* I predict, with so much caring you evidence in your posts, you will find love again.

[BMalion]

Originally Posted by Becky2844

*pretending to be a palm reader* I predict, with so much caring you evidence in your posts, you will find love again.

Thank you!

I'm not psychic now, but I know I will be in the future.